I have a pretty shit social life and therefore i go out alone often. Rarely i have a good night alone. Usually i'm just to afraid to approach and i end up drinking alot.

Last night after 4 hours of walking from bar to bar and only hitting on one girl, i went to a high end strip club.

I walked in defeated and sat in a corner. Strippers came by one by one and i turned down most of them. Til one came by and really tried to talk to me. Asked what my problem was because she could tell i was miserable. She built me up, told me to go into the more crowded area cause it was cheaper. All other sort of advice for dealing with strippers. She even told me to try and game some strippers because most strippers had a negative view on men. Told me that acting chode-like and giving them gifts will appeal to their vanity and a relationship with one of them wasn't impossible. i didnt believe the last part but she said i should just try it.

All her words made me feel better. I think though that she was just conditioning me be a better and more long term customer. After all a happy customer is a loyal customer.

Thing is i don't care. I took her advice spent less and had more fun. She told me to flirt with them and if they don't flirt back don't take the lap dance. I felt good there and a lot happier than standing alone at some bar.

I think going to a strip club is good for my developement because:

Actually had some conversations
-getting comfortable with the female body- Im a virgin so it's big to me
-no alcohol
-worked on eye contact while i was getting lap dances
-had fun
-you see some strippers who are just after the cash don't want to talk, so i get some experience with women who just want to use you.
-you see some of the same tactics men use being deployed by strippers all in the name of your dollar.

i hope this all translates into build up my confidence because that is my fatal flaw.

cons
- lotta money. i spent like 140 last night. To be fair 35 was the bar. Plus my first 3 lap dances i paid double because i was in the secluded area.
- strippers want your money so you can do no wrong. you can say all the wrong stuff and think it works.

That's that and now i'm curious to know what you guys think? Am i just a gullible fool or is a strip club a valid game builder?

just read the other strip club thread.

Yeah i'm a gullible fool.

Stay away from strip clubs unless your going there to game strippers. Which personally I think would be harder since you can't even game a regular girl.

Since your kind of a loner, I would give it at least about 3 years before you actually start having success with women. And this is actually if your serious and do work. And this doesn't just come down to cold approach. IT comes down to your whole lifestyle. You have to change it to a point where people wanna be apart of your life and wanna hang out with you. And is a slow process and it takes time. I know cause I started off from the same place as you.

Here is what you can do.

#1. Find wingman. Google and see if there are PUA lairs in your area and go game with them. Is a lot easier to learn from guys that are better then you then just doing it alone or just by reading pua stuff.

#2. I am guessing your lifestyle consist of work, tv, internet, and video game games. Besides work, minimize everything else and replace it with activity that forces you to be more social. Ever notice that groups of friends all have same thing in common? There is a reason for that. And whatever you take up, has to be fun for you.

#3. Three years is a long time right? Because before you even start hooking up with women, you need to start working on making friends. Both female, and male. So get started by doing #2. Women can tell a lot by your personality, and being social, will change it without you even realizing it. When you start making friends, filter out the bad ones and keep the good ones. Also, I should add, one of the best ways to meet girls is through friends. Explains why your a virgin.

#4. You have to realize, cold approach is something you have to do. Yeah, Approach anxiety sucks. But is better to go out and approach girl that are gonna be real with you then to pay some stripper to validate you. If you wanna succeed, prepare to be broken down over and over again. Once you bounce back up, your gonna be a stronger person overall. Ever heard women like confidence? Is true! Confidence is something you can't fake or just get. It comes from life experience and knowledge. Is a long and slow personality change. Also, starting your goal should be to do 30 approach every month.

Listen up Original Poster Guy, because you are going to read some things that might blow your mind and make you feel like a rotting disgruntled cynic at the same time. But . . . It will be good for you.

First, tell us more about your job. Your life. What are you good at in life? What are your talents? What are your ambitions, what do you do for a living? Knowing this, I will be able to write more accurate advice for you.

Good that you went to a strip club. Compliments, you deserve them. Why? It's a place where you can get to know people that might help you forward. Eventually you have to move past all sense of shame, guilt, fear or pain about paying women to show you their body. Why? Because there is no purity left in this world.

Want to get rid of approach anxiety? Go into a brothel. Walk in there. It will do wonders. Don't get hooked though. Better than a strip club, even. At least you get bang for your buck, which you don't get by paying for 140 dollars on drinks and dances and a whole lot of empty flattering. Will put your mind in focus.

And about the confidence blah blah. I am the most confident person in existence. Always have been. Girls want to rule over men in the end so they don't like confidence. Maybe in the era of the Enlightenment it was different. Definitely not today.

If this post is not so Epic as it was announced as, it is because my GF called me on SPAM and I was writing this as she chitchatted to me.

to ouch

i've been hitting up bars for about a year. Known about the community for 2 years. i can make some things happen going out alone. I'm prone to bouts of minor depression and self defeatism. In pua and social skills i'd say i have a half full box. I can play situations but i tend to freeze up, make blunders and generally don't go as far as i should. I just can't seem to bring myself to act. It's like i'm stuck in my head playing out scenarios.

I would love a good wingman. don't think I'll find one though. I've ran into old friends at bars and when i hang out with them and play off their energy i feel and do great. As i said i have no social circle and never really had one. I'm ashamed of that fact and so i keep the distance between me and people afraid that they will find out i was a complete loser back then. It's why i don't have a facebook account.

i have been going to malls a little more often and just walking around trying to approach women. I just can't do it. I would start a little convo and ditch before even pushing for something. I really just want that don't give a fuck mentality.

At bars alone my main problem is i always take awhile to do my first apparoach. Within that time i'm just standing at the bar alone. If the place isn't crowded enough i know they see me. I'm decent to good looking (been told as such) so i would get a flirtatious look from women. When i approach fifteen minutes later they are unresponsive. I know that i just need to act and act fast. When i think about it my best nights were when i just threw myself in and not cared. I want consistency with that.

To marville

I'm a cynic as well and your ideas do resonate with my own. I really wonder about if i just get a hooker will that just push me forward.

As for me I was terrible socially. Really made alot of strides forward from 3 years ago. trying to build a social circle. made a few friends but not ones that'll get me places. I was a very naive person and still am somewhat. I believed in the fairytail loves til i was something like 17. I believed do right by people and people will do right by me. Now i know many if not all will just try to use me.

I'm poor. Lots of siblings and single mom. My family really just use me for their own ends. My father is an alcoholic who's fucked up and i end up helping him as well. Really my family just drains my time, money and energy. I know i allowed it to happen and i have been pushing back and it's been getting better.

I do construction with my pop. He's really mentally abusive and puts me down often. he's turned me into a bit of a dick. To his credit though i did learn some things about life from him. I'd rather not do construction anymore. I like it but not love it. I can't afford a career change because i need the money and no one is in my corner to support me.

Would like to become a writer and i plan to on my own. Just i really want to get my social life together first. I love books, history, psychology, fantasy, astronomy.

Got to say i think your right on the money about stripper helping me move past the shame of lust. When i hung out with those strippers i didn't want to fuck just them. it felt good to have a woman sitting on my lap giving me attention which is something i think i crave.

Anyways guys i appreciate the time you guys spend replying. I getting frustrated with my lack date life so please help.

I believe 2/3 guys in this forum are exactly like you before. I was just like you. put your shit together and
face your fear. its the only way, and its not magic pill... if it was easy everyone will be cool dudes.
so strongest ones become PUA. weak ones stay AFC...

_________________
Excuse my awful English !!!

Frogman, thanks a lot for this explaination man. my family is comparable
Lets say that, hypothetically, a man like me would bang a hooker. then it wouldnt be the same thing because I had lots of sexual experience with girls before, but it would be done to compensate for hiatuses in frequency for sleeping with them.

Access to hookers and strippers can really empower a mans position. But. Playing this card is like messing with the Ring of Sauron. you need to know exactly what you pay for, dont get addicted, and feel guiltless about it.

In your position, what you need is to avoid the trap of becoming a prole who earns barely enough to drink in a strip club every few days and gaze at the girls there.

First step is building capital and autonomy. cut loose those parasites who drain you, first of all.

yeah i'm definitely worried about addiction to strippers. nevertheless i still feel good about my trip to the strip joint. I'll think i'll do like the one guy said though. go to a strip joint first, give my confidence a boost and then head out to the bars the same night.

Aza i know your right. blubbering about my life and how difficult it is gets me no where. I know i gotta man up. I'm just frustrated at how slow the process is for me. I am getting better though. before i had nothing going for me socially. Now i've had quite a few experiences. None ever really got to far but it's something at least.