Well about 3 weeks ago my relationship ended and I was kind of messed up for about 10 days or so, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't do much...

I eventually forced myself to get over her which I think I did a great job of doing.

yesterday I get a message from her that she has something important to tell me, I agree to see her at her local bar.
and she tells me she has had a mis-carriage and that if I heard from anyone that she was pregnant that I shouldn't worry (so I was like ok this could have been done over the phone but i didn't tell her that).

she then asks how I have been and what i have been up to, I play it casual and tell her that i have been hanging out with friends and going out most nights. I ask the same but at this point i really want to rush out of there before anything happens I put on my jacket twice and she asked me to get a beer with her (like a fucking idiot I agreed again)

Now the most fucked up part of the story, so she is telling me what she has been up to the past 3 weeks,

Her "OMG I can't believe what I have become"
Me "what do you mean?"
Her "2 and a half week ago at work party I fucked the chef"
Me " My heart stopped beating - but I managed to be calm and replied well if you wanted to fuck him then good on you"
Her "yeah but that's not the person I am"
Me " Its just a bit of fun you shouldn't beat yourself up about it just fuck who ever you want its all fun"
Her " I think I need to figure out what I want"
Me " well yeah that's best I think"

After a bit more shit talk I put on my jacket walked her home and she said that "we should be really good friends" i say "sure why not". But the thing is now last night I felt like shit again all that healing everything gone out the fucking window and now it feels 10x worse. I want to call her and curse her name till kingdom come for telling me this fucked up story.

Shall I just ignore her and let her go with a clear conscience? just play it calm and go through the healing process again?

Or call her and curse her name until I feel better? I kind of think this is the reaction she wants from me (so i don't want to give her the satisfaction)

I FEEL LIKE SHIT NOW!!!!...THAT FUCKING CUNT... SHE THOUGHT I TOOK THE BREAKUP WELL AND WANTED ANOTHER STAB AT IT.....MOTHER FUCKING CUNT...HOPE SHE GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES IN LIFE.

Please if you have gone through the trouble of reading this, Reply.. just curse her say something please.. Just say anything call me a pussy for not breaking her nose.....Anything

beautifully said TonyKing.

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Excuse my awful English !!!

Tony thanks man, You are right bro.

Closing this chapter of my life. Time to hit the streets and pickup.

What a truly awful woman.

whats up bro. sorry to hear she did this to you.

tony's right, she wants to see you miserable, don't let her. You handled it very well at the time.

The other thing to realise here, as well as her bullshit spite is that line "we should be really good friends"

Don't ever let an ex get away with this stuff man, she's your ex. This means you are absolved of any responsibilities to make her feel better about anything. If you want to then that's cool, but you have no prerogative. The thing with girls (only talking from my experience here) is that they want it all. Happy to have the best of you, happy to make you feel like shit, happy to break your heart, but they want after all that to feel happy about it all to themselves. This in female world means friendship. This is why ex's often hope to stay friends, they want to feel like they haven't hurt you and that they can still count on you if they ever need you. Its some selfish stuff but its pretty common.

well fuck that, you dont speak to her again. She gets to hear about how good you're doing from other people, and she doesn't get the self satisfaction of your time- she wants your tacit approval of her behaviour, your support and acknowledgement. She gets it if you reciprocate/make contact. Remember, simply ignoring any future attempts she makes to get in touch will cut her up more than any cursing you could do now, or ever.

Thanks for taking the time to reply guys. it really helps when I read this stuff..so thank you

As for the " lets be really good friends " tactic I get what you mean man, and trust me I have no intention of ever seeing her again I just agreed so that I could get out of there.

She sent me a text yesterday asking if I wanted to go to Hyde park to see the ice sculptures, I just replied saying I'm busy for the next two weeks (to which I hope I had not replied).

what's wrong with these type of women? they want to see how far they can push your buttons until you snap?

but yeah you are right man, I will definitely go No Contact.

You have no idea how many people would've lost their shit if their ex dropped that "I fucked the chef" line. You should feel proud of yourself for keeping your cool and coming on here to vent. In control of your emotions. My man.

This may or may not make you feel better, but there may not have even been a chef. She could've been playing a part just to see you react and came up with the most flippant statement she could think of. Regardless, cut the woman out of your life.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

I really don't want to stoop down to her level or play these emotional mind games as I know first hand how hurtful they can be. I'm just going to distance myself and close this chapter of my life and move on. I gained a lot of knowledge from that relationship which I am thankful for.
Thanks man, yeah it took a lot of will power not to flip out but I'm glad I pulled through.

I am trying to cut her lose. she texts me, After me having said I am busy for the next two weeks, she says "well we better meet up before xmas, we need to exchange presents xX "

WTF!!!!? I can package her toothbrush, shirts, and other stuff she has left at my place and give them to her... Would that be a good present do you think?

All I know is that its been 2 days since she told me about the chef and surprisingly enough I feel way better then yesterday..But still no appetite. I think coming here and talking to others is really helping. really appreciate you guys taking the time. seriously thanks man

glad you're feeling better today man, make yourself eat something and hit the gym or go for a run or something, endorphines and appetite are a wonderful combination.

As for the text, I would personally just ignore it, or say "Ill send you your stuff, i wont be buying you a present." Thats unequivocal and based on how she's treated you i wouldn't want to be anything other than that. But that's just me, it would be quite funny to give her back her own stuff as a present.

To my mind it sounds as though she's trying her hardest to fuck with your emotions, chances are she just wants to make sure she has the option of securing your time and attention if she so desires. As this relationship is over and you don't want to be in contact with her I'd make that clear.... who cares if she's pissed off? You already don't want her in your life, worst case scenario you get exactly that. The key is to retain dignity while you do it.

1 dont give back the stuff. You dont want to advantage her.
2 next time she asks you out, make it seem like you are seriously intetested and go no show
3 what the guy said about selfish women wanting it all, lover AND best friend, is true, they love power and manipulate your affection
4 story of the chef might be bs. Go to him and ask out. Might cost her the job. She prb loves being flippant and trying to break you.
5 come up with your own plan, the more elaborate!

@ Tony - Yeah thanks man I just think being mature about this can help me with future relationships.
thanks man some really great points.
1 - Yeah wont give her stuff back not yet anyways because I really don't want to see her
2 - As much as that would make me really happy, I would rather not invest any more of my time trying to get back at her (time better spent elsewhere)
3 - You are right man, I was naive because I bought into this love bs.
4 - Again as much as it would be great to get her back I just really wanted to vent out here and forget about her. which has helped me deal with the situation more then I could have ever imagined. (again thank you all)
5 - yeah this is the main goal now, Go out with friends, game, gym, date and work and generally keep my mind occupied and forget about her.

Hey guys, just wanted to say thanks for all the great advice
I feel 100x better today had a great night sleep, had an amazing meal and feel great
looking forward to hitting the gym and getting out there.

Tony, El. Rubia, Dr. Jones, Mr. Marville.... seriously thanks guys its thanks to your great advice and feedback that I managed to recover so quick.

Word of advice to anyone going through something similar make a thread and vent out, it really helps

Great forum will be posting field reports soon haha

So you are just gonna take it... Accept what she did to you and let it slide. At some point, someone has to draw the line. It takes a real man to do this. She will go on manipulating innocent guys who believe in the goodness of humanity and genuinely hope to spend a great time with this girl. Perhaps this real man could be you. If there are still people who believe in justice, really, this individualistic ´´I got screwed - I move on and accept it´´ mindset in the end benefits the parasites of our society.

Yeah I get where you are coming from but this is how I see it.

Why waste my time trying to get her back when i can just move on and spend that time focusing on bettering myself, increasing my confidence and finding a much better girl.
You views are justified, but if I spend time thinking about getting back at her, I'm still thinking about her in some way which means I haven't fully moved on.

And what el. rubia said seems like really sound advice, I will get back at her by ignoring her bs and letting her find out how much fun i'm having without her in my life.
I can get her fired, But I don't want to take that route.
Trust me when I tell you its much harder to walk away, but i think its the healthier choice for me.

I only score girls HB5 or above.

Anything less and they are not worthy of my thoughts.

Buddy, she is a whore and a fucking big ZERO!

Do you really want to continue thinking of a ZERO?

It's gotta be a 5 and above or nothing and that means not fat and not a dumb whore.

Move the fuck on. You have better things to do with your time.