Your final quote is fitting and very true. As for your situation bro, I'm glad you got what you needed too, in order to figure things out. Everyone has to do things their own way, that's just the way it is. We should all understand that we can offer our advice, but ultimately respect people for their decisions and the way they have to go about it to come to terms with issues they're having.

On another note don't beat yourself up or worry about how other people may perceive your actions regarding this thread. Plain and simple I don't care how good you are at the game you will get caught up at one time or another. That's one of the many reasons this forum exists to help us through situations like this. As far as your decision to take some time to yourself, by all means do so but make sure you don't do it for too long. As I said I've done it before and pulled away from everyone for too long and became socially awkward and that's a real bitch to come back from. If you do feel like your getting caught up again with her, don't hesitate to update the thread as well as reach out to your friends. We all need support at times and advice to weather the storms.

To address what you guys are saying about the game. No, I don't intend to pull myself away socially at all. If anything, I'm already rekindling the friendships I already had and putting all that energy I had previously invested into her into other people. Most of my week I already have plans every day with other people, in fact I think I mentioned yesterday I met a new HB9 (29 years old too!) through a friend, and definitely managed to DHV through the conversation we had in the car while I drove. I'm not socially withdrawing at all... I'm just not going to worry about shit like getting numbers, asking girls to hang out, online dating, trying to "make a move", basically what I consider 'active gaming'. I'm just going to focus on building up my social circle - like I should be since I'm sober and in recovery - and if I happen to meet a nice attractive chick who really seems to dig my shit then cool. I'm going to do what I did over the summer after being dumped - be friendly and charismatic to everyone I meet, come up with ideas for things to do, invite people out - basically become the leader of my own group again. Funny thing about the girls in that group - all but one or two WANTED me. One was a solid FWB, another was a previous ONS... I snagged the hottest as my personal playmate, a cute 19 y/o HB8.5 virgin. Never managed to bang the chick, but still have a good friendship with her to this day. Funny thing, I thought she was much more mature than the 23 y/o in this topic!

I hope that this post clarifies what I meant. I'm sure within a month or two my ego will be built back up to handle some more rejection, and I'll be actively sarging again. Again, being in college, building a social circle and becoming the leader of it IS actively sarging, essentially I'll be accomplishing two things with one effort.

I would like to note, another good thing I took away from this experience was all the musical inspiration it provided. I always told my friends "Hey, if nothing else, it'll give me good material for songwriting!" Seriously, just wrote another song, brings me up to 6 total. This summer, after the breakup, I started taking guitar seriously - I wrote two songs, one was partly inspired by her, but more by my girlfriend before her. The third song I wrote "Close the Door", when early in the semester when she lied about fucking my friend. The fourth, was a "love song" about her called "If You Fall", when things were going well between us and I was starting to want more. The fifth, I was in a depressed state (again, mostly due to her) and decided I needed to write a happy song - "Brand New Day", which my mom liked so much she posted the lyrics on the wall next to her computer. The 6th, and one I wrote just now... let's just say it's called "Toxic Little Bitch". It's not too shabby, and it's got a killer little intro, my best work with HOPOs yet I must say

A few more and I can put out an album. HAH! Drama = more songwriting inspiration.

Didn't realise you wanted more from this girl from the way you wrote, my apologies. Got a friend your age who had a similar thing going with this girl, she just didn't know what she wanted. (silly random question, I know, but is this girl a gemini? For some weird reason every single gemini girl I have ever known has been an indecisive, nightmarish creature.)

Been very very interesting to read this, and I am sure it is like some sort of PUA-puzzle which some expert or other could solve, given time, but hope everything works out for you now you've cut this girl out, dude.

Got this today:

"I hope you can eventually learn not to be so egocentric, and to respect people's boundaries. Not only that, but you should have known better than to lie to me. You've known about the arrest since like Monday, not last night. Stop talking about me, you're no longer a part of my life. Get a clue."

I'll admit, I lied to her when I told her about how I found out about the arrest - only because J texted me minutes before said I "wasn't supposed to know", but I had already talked to another mutual friend the night before about it.. it just got back around to her.

Before I'd even received this text I'd already decided to delete her number and all of her friends' numbers... if any of them actual want my friendship, they can come to me now. The farther from her the better. Those poor bastards won't know what hit them... nobody stays her friend for long.

Oh and don't worry, I already deleted it. Nothing good could have come from responding to it.

Yeah that text in my opinion is to test you and your resolve. Any response would probably cement her into thinking you can be controlled and reeled back in. As in my opinion there's no reason for her to text something like that other than hoping for a response. If she was done with you she wouldn't care what you think or bother trying to make a point she'd simply walk away. Be prepared though as ignoring her will eventually get her to leave you alone and if you think it's hard now wait till you feel like she's really slipping away.

Stay strong bro, freeze her out till you've at least got her out of your system. Concentrate on yourself like you said. Use those emotions in the gym and toward goals you might have put off. Start a journal with goals and write down daily accomplishments no matter how insignificant they are. You'll build steam and could really change yourself for the better. I look at things like this as chances to prove something to myself, you should too. It's not the challenges that define us but how we handle them.

Yeah... arg. Stig, I really wish I could control the FWB, you know?

Gonna be tough to not respond, and I certainly won't to any texts like that. I think I can get her out of my system, if she manages to come back next semester I am considering it. What I may not have mentioned in this topic, was a few days before the AMOG incident I pulled an AFC move, and admitted I was starting to have feelings for her and interested in becoming exclusive. She said she would "never" have those feelings, so I took it as green light to stop wanting her as anything more than FWB, but obviously you can't just stop caring out of nowhere. Didn't help we fucked the next day again, too.

You know, I've been worrying about her/our mutual friends will think while she undoubtedly goes around spouting whatever nonsense about me. However, I think most will have to at some point stop and think "Wait, they were fucking and he still didn't want her around?" so hmm... take that one, bitch. It's one thing when a girl LJBFs you from a sexual relationship, then you stop hanging out with her... but to just quit a sexual relationship for apparently no good reason? That's what I did. And that's gotta hurt I'm betting. Looking at that text, name calling, just looking for a response... some kind of attention.

Receiving it in the first place made me feel better. Deleting it, even more so.

So I gotta say, I'm wondering... once I feel I've "gotten her out of my system", probably several weeks if not months, what should I keep in mind right now so I don't completely burn that bridge?

Aside from the regular "be awesome" stuff. I've already decided that bringing her up in conversation with anyone that would get it back to her is a no-no. In fact, bringing her up in conversation to anyone but my very closest friends I'm gonna stay away from too. I wanna know how to play these next couple weeks. Also, if any of her friends ask me about her, any idea what to say? I figured "it was fun, but too much drama".

Yeah my FWB's a decent piece of ass. lol!

As for your situation unfortunately there's nothing you can do to assure you don't burn your bridges. You have to understand that going back now can completely eliminate any respect she may have for you and at best you'll become an orbiter like your friend and someone else will take your place. Or you ignoring her could lead to her finding someone new and forgetting about you. You've decided to freeze her out so in my opinion you should stick to it no matter how hard it is. It's the best chance IMO to regain control and turn it around on her.

I wouldn't avoid her or her friends though, just ignore her texts and calls. I suggested it before as I had a similar situation and IMO compromising your life is still relegating control to her and will lead to a continued state of AFC with her. So just concentrate on you, like I said set some goals up to keep yourself preoccupied if you aren't going to game, hook up with your friends who've no doubt been put on the back burner in lieu of this girl. Go out talk be extremely social and as I've heard so many others say remember your a bad motherfucker. If you run into her let her approach and don't be afraid to be snarky with her. Casual half nasty slick glances with a sly smirk go along way. She won't be able to read whether your flirting or thinking some nasty shit about her. Hell if you and J are close kick it to her or at least flirt and compete with her for J's time. Just do you and don't worry about anything else.

You know what my FWB eats up me going after younger girls than her. This maybe because I'm 6 years older than her and she considers me pushing it with her as is. lol! Pretty much she gets off on the slimier I seem as it gives her the excuse to say OMG Kolt seriously your a dirty mother fucker. lol! Which is usually followed by her throwing herself at me. So be a dirt bag and don't give a fuck about anything but what makes you happy. It's your life fuck everyone else and their opinions rock on! Just my opinion. Don't know if what I wrote sounds surprising considering my other posts, but the truth is I'm a complicated mother, with layers.lol!

In all seriousness I really would do what I said above. If you could adopt that mindset at least part of the time you'll be good. Focus on you and don't worry about what she or the rest of the world thinks, because when it comes down to it nothings guaranteed. In reference to people asking what happened it's your business so ignore them, but if you feel compelled to answer simply state she wasn't worth my time. It's a nasty thing to say, but true.

Actually I was kind of counting on her getting some new dick. She's gonna see nobody has the full package that I do. Looks, money, experience in bed (I'm 29 man! I fuck wayyy better now than I did at 19), my own huge pad, a car, etc... I used to be the kind of guy my FWB's clamored to... over the summer, and last semester, I was the damn leader of the pack. Somewhere along the way, I went whiny.

And I took out her friends name in my phone, after inviting them to a party I'm having Friday. She wouldn't come even if she was invited, because she hates big parties. Her friends (including the AMOG) came last time and had a blast. I took the names out in a spat of anger, mostly so I wouldn't be tempted to contact them about her. And if they were mutual friends at all (I think at least a couple were) they'll contact me at some point. Like I said about the AMOG before, I think he was just trying to use me, and a couple other people I exchanged numbers with but never contacted.

Of course, if I happen upon her friends anywhere, I will totally be myself. Besides, for the most part I'm pretty charismatic I think and I at least get along with everyone. I'm generally a pretty nice guy... as long as I'm not too nice.

Good advice on what to say, also. Thanks.

Hey smash, im back! I think so far you are doing great. Obv never answer her texts no matter what. At least for a month. This whole party thing is pretty easy. Make sure you have a great time, look good, clean shaven, having fun, smiling, happy, and not depressed in any way.

If you think her friends arent gonna tell her exactly what you were like, you are retarded. You have to make sure the only thing they have to tell her is it looks like you are not affected at all. If they ask, I would just say something nice and socially acceptable so it doesnt look like you are hurt. Something like "we've decided we are in different stages in our lives and it would be best to go our separate ways" in a really calm voice. Do not get mad or defensive or you just look afc and hurt. You got this D-money

No problem bro on the advice. Yeah I usually use that or she just wasn't on my level as a reason for separating. As I said in my opinion it's true so it flows easily and sincerely, plus it makes them look as though they where lacking not the other way around. Which again is the truth as far as I'm concerned, with rare exception it's me who kicks women to the curb for not meeting my standards. As I've heard others say let her qualify for you it's not just a gaming technique it's a frame of mind. Think of it as your looking for a woman whose worth you not someone to qualify for, it genuinely helps your state of mind.

Oh yeah, I'm great at not acting depressed! I've had to do it several times throughout my life. Also, I'm glad that right now I've got you guys and my close friends to talk to her about, because I know she's on my mind constantly I keep bringing her up with basically everyone. That's why I deleted her friend's contacts, so I wouldn't be tempted. In reality, I could have had the self control to just... you know, not talk to them about her. Instead of worrying what they think, or my reasons for not talking to her. I'm glad you posted before this party tomorrow, because aside from not bringing her up at all I wanted to know what to say should she be brought up. "She's not worth my time" doesn't sound very good, even a bit childish or dishonest - it wasn't really my TIME, it was the energy I had to put into it. I thought something about "separate ways". I wanted to be honest, but to the point, you know? Elaborating that "i wanted to stop hanging out for the rest of the semester because the things she said and did were becoming too much to handle" would probably come off as weak, or petty. What you said sums it up pretty well. The only people I've really talked to about her at length is this forum, and a few very close friends who are very much on my side of any relationship I'm in.

EDIT: Just read Stig's post. Hmm... integrate what you both said. "She just wasn't worth my time anymore, and we're just two different people going our separate ways."

How's that? To be honest, I kind of doubt her friends will even show to the party (out of respect for her possibly) and even if they do they probably won't ask. I just wanted to arm myself in that event. I'll be sure to post after the party whether anything happened or not.

Worst case scenario IF SHE SHOWS UP and is ALL over some dude(s) in front of me. I'll just act indifferent, because I highly doubt whoever that guy happens to be I'll see him as even my equal, just the poor rebound/jealous ploy. A sad attempt by her to make me jealous, but since technically I'm the one who rejected her... why should I care? She has never been the type to realize that blatant flirting with anyone makes every other guy that sees it less interested. Which is exactly what I'd see... her pathetic "backup boy". The only guys that can deliver a better package than me wouldn't settle for her.

At times, I seriously regret ending it the way I did, but figured all considered it really is for the best. I could have definitely gotten at least one good lay out of her, and put it on cam, but what would that really have done? Given me video to jack off too, keeping her at the forefront of my thoughts? Weakening my resolve with sex, which I hadn't had in over two weeks? I'm glad that whatever she thinks or is saying now, I've still stood up for myself. That's the best part about this ending - me basically saying "I've had enough of your shit" is also saying "No matter how great the sex was, it wasn't worth your bullshit" and THAT is the real message that everyone would pick up on. I've told my friends, when justifying why I kept putting up with her, about how great the sex was. In fact, of her friends I had in my phone (AMOG/his roommate/Nick), they've all fucked her too at some point, so they know how much fun she is / can be to fuck, and probably had their own suspicions of dealing with her bullshit on varying degrees. Nick said straight up "she's annoying and not that hot" weeks ago, after the MMF. It'll either serve them warning about getting too close (roommate and Nick already know she's manipulative), or make them think they can handle a FWB with her (AMOG). Even delude themselves that they are her would-be boyfriend. No matter what, what they think and do does not affect me, since she's gone. Have fun, guys, you've been warned. Mu mush kilty (arabic for 'not my problem') anymore. I can tell anyone, she's not going to date anyone seriously except her exboyfriend she stays in contact with.

I'd probably better get tested. Hope I don't have any incurable STDs. If I have any... well, that'll be some fucking interesting conversations.

If and when she comes back (likely she will), it will be after time has healed wounds and with a newfound basis of respect like I had when she returned this semester. Gradually over time, I did and said things I wasn't really conscious of in the guise of making her happy, when really I was pushing for more all the time and compromising myself to be with her. Essentially, I must have thought putting her on a pedestal would somehow convince her to be and model her into a possible girlfriend again. My mindset changed as finite FWB to possibly getting back together (after her "breakup"), and after I told her I was interested that's when it really fell apart.

If she does come back later, insisting on being friends/whatever, at least now I will definitely know how to handle this situation. I won't allow myself to over-prioritize her, fall for her, put her on a pedestal, and let her appeal to my "hero complex" by playing the victim. She will be an ex-girlfriend that didn't work out, will never work out, and simply someone I enjoy hanging out with from time to time and having sex with: I.E. a true Friend With Benefits. When she starts vying for control or power, I will use the advice and strategies I've learned through my experience with her and PUA to maintain control of the relationship at all times. After all, when she said "I'll never have those feelings for you" I believed it, and always will. That is my brick wall to not allow her into my heart again, even if I allow her into my bedroom

Even if she comes crying to me that everyone has left her, and she realized all along that I was the only one who really made her happy and that she loves me and only wants to be with me, it'll be far too late. Some believe in "never say never", but once you say it, well... that's it. Don't worry guys, no matter what happens, I'll probably never fall for this girl again - she has a lot of growing up and several years of therapy before she really is girlfriend material, and by that time my standards will probably be higher than she could ever hope to be. I was blinded by love during the FWB, and failed to see this and let myself fall.

If nothing else, thanks for just reading my long ass posts.

Oh, and something else you didn't mention but I'm going to assume - if her friends see me at this party, I'm not going to try and pick any of them up. And most importantly, they won't see me all over any women that are clearly lower quality than her. Fatties n fuglies, you know, not even HBs. Fortunately my ex has a pretty poor self image and self esteem so it's really easy to make her jealous. Not that that's my intention, but I don't want people to think I'm desperate for pussy now.

EDIT: Just realized I'm up to 242 posts now! I feel like this experience has taught me so much about PUA and women in general. When I get past this completely I'm gonna work on graduating from rAFC school

Now, back to the basics. Getting them interested in the first place. I got lucky with this one... our ex's started dating and it gave us plenty to talk about, and just mixed qualification and flirting in there. We also both had mental health issues and a love for marijuana, and it wasn't difficult to transition into meaningful conversation and good rapport from there. She had way more free time than I did back then, this kept me less available than her. She also was low on options as she was living at her parents and not in college like myself, also applies to free time. And the first time I showed up, I looked "DEAD SEXY", even had her co-worker stalking me around the store while I waited for her shift to end.

What you say is definitely up to you, I just know what works for me. Though that's my personality hard and abrasive so you maybe right coming from you who might not usually be it may not be in step with your general character.

One point I will make again which I think is very important, don't worry about what her friends think of your actions. The more you worry about her friends and how they view your actions the more likely you are to come off as unnatural. For instance worrying you might come off as pussy hungry is definitely not something you should think about nor is making her jealous. Again focus on enjoying yourself at the party and if it's normal for you to try to game at a party do so.

Yeah, I haven't decided to really give a shit what other people think right now, or how I appear to her friends or making her jealous or anything. Yeah, partly I want her to feel the sting of loss, but in the other hand I really don't care and I'm just glad that I finally decided the sex wasn't worth the bullshit, and she's done. I'm not going to magically lower my standards at my party either, and I usually don't really game/hookup at them anyways. Usually too much to do, shit going on, keeping people out of my room, etc.

Better believe now, I won't be comparing every chick that hits on me to my ex. I passed on probably a couple decent lays and possible FBs this past semester because they didn't measure up to her. I noticed the I went without seeing my ex the better other girls started to look

Maybe this party, instead of getting mopey and just wishing I had her (or some other girl I was dating) already in my bed, maybe I'll at least make out with a couple drunk chicks. Maybe fuck one if she's at least a HB7. I'll definitely be more social and friendly to people, and put more pressure on my lieutenants to get work done around the place. Either way, I'll definitely practice some of the basics again, even if the girls aren't that high quality. Like people have said before, young girls are easily impressed with my material worth and the wisdom and stories that comes from being 29. I'm not bad looking, either.

My parties are HUGE... At least 50 people going in and out, and all in a 2 bedroom apartment (and my room is off limits). I have bartenders, a guy at the door, bouncers, etc... I charge 3$ a head (for dudes) and have a cash bar, that ladies get free (select) mixed drinks from. We usually make 40-60 bucks profit each party. Not much, but if anyone wondered why this 29 y/o guy has huge frat-type parties but I don't even drink, there's another reason.

Anyways, wish me luck, and thanks for the constant feedback. It's good having an unseen hand in this situation, I don't have many close guy friends that could really advise me here on these things. At least, not from a PUA perspective.

EDIT: Another thought - even on the last day I saw her, I ended up spending money because of her. Something she wanted to cook, she needed milk - so I said "sure, I'll pick some up, was gonna run to get cigars anyways" and she got me to tack vanilla ice cream in there. Ahh! What sort of power was I subject to!? I treated her like a girlfriend, yet didn't have the exclusive rights. Fucking pointless. I have a habit of spoiling my girlfriends into oblivion (except her when we dated, actually) and my FWB's to a lesser extent but still moreso than the average friend.