Yeah, that seems to be a recurring problem for me as of late, being my age in college I look at my lays as a possible serious relationship except deep down I know they're so young its pointless. I like younger girls for a lot of reasons, but I would agree they're often poor choices for anything serious. There's a few I've met in the 21-24 range that are pretty mature, and when I met this girl I thought she was one of them.

Guess not.

Actually, this girl is emotionally like a child. If you read the long text conversation I posted, she went off the handle with accusations and attacks. What was the provocation? Me wanting my money back? Talking to her friend about it? She was so angry, in fact, that she couldn't even see me face to face, and SLID THE MONEY UNDER MY DOOR IN AN ENVELOPE.

Keep in mind, before the above incident, things between her and I were peachy. They still seemed good until last Monday when I first pressured her about the money.

Right now, it sucks, because I have this loss, and I had pretty much all my eggs in this one basket, but I'm also glad I don't have to deal with her drama anymore. I'm not the first person she "demonized" nor will I be the last. She has a great difficulty keeping close friends, and now I see why.

EDIT: Going through some stuff today, I remembered I have like 5 pair of her panties from a prior arrangement where I would practice ripping off underwear through her, as long as I bought her new ones. Needless to say, these 5 are long overdue, but I wonder if I should do something creative with them...

Very interesting thread. Kind of curious as to what you're trying to achieve with this girl. Just keep her as a FWB?

I've read most of what's here, and I think what this is all coming down to is you wanting what you can't have. You want FWB, she wants a relationship, and they're mutually exclusive things, so she's decided that it's time to call it a day, and you're annoyed because you kind of want to call it a day - so you can maybe become FWB's again at some point down the line. That's from what I can gather anyway.

However, I wouldn't get so stressed about it, personally, I mean - she doesn't seem like she's bi polar to me, (any more than most women are anyway!), she just seems a bit frustrated, and maybe a little belligerent. From her POV, it's the right decision for her to move on, you know? She's clearly at a different point in her life to you, and you both want different things. She wants to party, you want to chill out and sleep with her now and again. But there's a part of her that's still attached to you, even though she doesn't want it to be anymore.

I'm not sure you can keep it the way you want it any more, as she seems to be past that stage, but she will probably come back for more, and hate herself for it, eventually.

But your problem isn't a massive problem, imo. You're beating yourself up over nothing. You got your money back. I would try and chill out a bit with her, stop all these crazy arguments over nothing, and then see how it goes. My 2c. Good luck.

Actually HardToKill, you got it in reverse. I started wanting more than FWB, she just wants to be single and party. But every so often when we started getting closer, she'd push me away citing all sorts of exaggerations and anecdotes of a twisted reality. Maybe this is most women, but this one in particular seems to put off the vibe that she really digs whoever she's around, is interested in what they say, has her own opinions, is pretty open minded... but if there's a problem, she'll keep it to herself and start building resentments and blow up every so often. She has almost no close friends, especially anyone who's been a daily part of her life more than a few months. Some guys (like me) put up with all of her nonsense because of how great sex with her is, but her 'platonic friends' she often jumps between which are her favorites and dumps the rest.

One day, she'll be your best friend. Then, she won't talk to you for weeks, and talk shit about you. Then she'll be "OMG I missed you so much how have you been!" it's... exhausting putting up with the cycles. And watching her do it to other people. She gets overly excited when an old friend (usually an orbiter) contacts her again, and is like "we were SUCH really good friends, we hung out all the time!" then after a phase of a week or two, I never hear about that person again.

That's why I've got that "cut her out" mindset now. I'm not going to initiate any more contact without a VERY good reason. And if she does, I'll keep conversation short, be unavailable, and basically take her from being a major part of my life to almost non-existent. Like I said, if she throws herself at me I'll probably still fuck her (and get a hidden cam while I'm at it) but otherwise the less I see her, the better. Period. She's a very toxic person.

By the way, so tempted to burn bridges.... but anyways, can someone give me advice on the very last part of this topic? Her last message to me, and if I should bother trying to get the bedsheet back or not? I'm betting she thinks her and I are still on good terms, and just had an argument. Obviously, you guys know better.

When I said "exchange this stuff and we're done" it may have triggered her abandonment issues. I think one poster pointed out while she has the bedsheet it still leaves a connection to me... so not sure if I should press severing that or not. Probably the best idea is to just not initiate any more contact for any reason.

No prob bro, that's what we're here for.

In regards to her personal attacks, she felt provoked because she felt you where diminishing her to her friend(Jess I think was the one) by letting her friend know she's essentially a deadbeat which is true considering you had to pursue her for the money. Basically it came down to her not wanting to look bad so she flipped things on to you so she could qualify herself to herself and perhaps her friend. Essentially she felt you where making her look bad so she attempted to make you look worse(self qualification by putting others down in an attempt to raise her own opinion of herself).

As for the actual insults, don't even pay them mind. If you where so boring and AFC you wouldn't have been smashing it. She found you entertaining enough to hang out with and fuck, so know what she's saying is bullshit. You broke toward the end by getting attached but everything she mentioned before is her talking out her ass. I would have laughed to myself if I read that, as by saying that your a loser what is she saying about herself. I would of told her well if I'm a loser and I'm twisting you out what are you? As the twist-e and not the twister your my bitch, so how does it feel to be a loser's bitch? lol! Like I said though that's just me, maybe it's shit like that the makes my ex's hate me with a passion. lol!

Also to address your focusing on self improvement, I say that's good but I would stick with staying in the game as well. I've personally done the whole focus on myself and pull back from being social and it was detrimental. I sorted a lot of things out but lost my mojo all together and became socially awkward. So do you, but don't pull back from the world too much. Remember gaming doesn't have to lead to LTR, it's just as much about self improvement as anything else. It builds confidence and bolsters self worth among other things.

Very enlightening post, sir. Makes a ton of sense, had a suspicion that's what she was getting all twisted about, looking bad for her "best friend". Don't worry, that same best friend has complained about her to me on several occasions as well. The personal attacks, why she was so provoked, I thought it was pretty funny she didn't even have the guts to give my money back in person - a fucking envelope under the door. That's something you do to someone you hate, where the very sight of them throws you into a rage. Apparently knowing that I was even talking ABOUT her to her friend is badmouthing behind the back, an offense so grave she gets to flip off the handle and personally attack me for it. I've deal with shit like this before with other women, and never was the rebuttal so defensive and outrageous. More reasons to move the fuck on.

Since nobody is addressing the "bedsheet" issue, I'm guessing it's best to just forget and if she brings it up, have the "I dont care, keep it" mentality.

And yeah, about gaming, what I mean to say is I'm going to stop trying to hard to get n-closes, day 2's, etc, and just worry about building myself and my social circle. College life is mainly about social circles anyways, and any women I happen to run into I will be my natural funny charming attractive self, and if they show IOI's I'll game them right back. Right now, I feel this "desperate aura" that I don't think could handle too much rejection at the moment. What you could describe as passively gaming is what I'm going to do. For example, asked a friend of mine if she wanted to go on a hike/walk today, and she said she couldn't because she had to drop a friend off in a nearby town. Invited me to go along, as her friend is "29 hot and single" so heyyy... new faces at least, yeah!

Not much new, to update. Was writing a bit in one of my journals.

Right now what's pissing me off the most is the abrupt loss of the situation. I was really hoping this wasn't going to end at this time, right before final projects and shit... hard to keep my mind focused on schoolwork at all. Even when I went out on an ambulance call a couple nights ago, I could tell I was really out of it... I apologized to my crew that I was "stuck in my own head". Last night tried to focus on classwork, had my best friend over (the girl I mentioned in previous topics) and was venting to her, but couldn't focus on work and decided to instead email my professors and tell them some personal issues came up and I wouldn't make it to class. I had a presentation due, but wouldn't be able to focus on my work and choose to instead take a couple sleeping meds and try to get a good night's sleep instead. Instantly felt some relief, but right now I wish I could just freeze time and take a few days to get most of the fog out.

I was fully expecting to keep things at where they were, then the 5 weeks between semesters would have been a good time to just let go. Apparently, she didn't want to wait. Also, trying to not blame myself... previously asked about stuff like hanging out over break or making plans for new years, and she avoided the possibility (distance, controlling parents, blah blah). Basically, I did push too much I guess, but with the way she it's even worse than normal girls I suppose. Whatever. Just gotta pull through and finish my classes in stride. I'm so close to a 3.5+ gpa (the highest in my life by far) and I'd hate to slip now.

It's temping to just get ahold of her and at least talk some things out. Maybe salvage something... I don't know. This power/pua/control/needy/boring/prized man stuff sometimes I want to just say FUCK IT but whatever... the risk of contact includes the risk of more dismissal/rejection/confusion so it's not worth it, I know. As far as the bedsheet issue, I've just let it go. I got my money. Truth be told, many people have gone through much worse. It's really the "why" that bugs me, lack of closure. I knew it was going to end sooner or later, but I figured she'd be a bit more mature about it and respectful to me.

Sorry for the triple post, but just got some interesting information through the pipeline.

Apparently, during a routine traffic stop her, the "AMOG" and two friends were arrested for unlawful possession of marijuana. This was last tuesday - explains the "hell of a week" thing, anyways.

She got into similar trouble with possession about this time last year. I don't get it, hah. I was an avid pot smoker for almost a decade and NEVER got in trouble with the police. I failed two Army drug tests, but was always lucky/smart enough to never get in legal trouble. I think the campus has a "three strikes" rule and this would be #2 - they always get a report when the police arrest one of their students. I know this, because it happens to me for a fireworks incident a few months ago. Allegedly, her possession was part of the reason she was on academic probation and wasn't in school last semester (when I started dating her in the first place) so who knows what will happen now.

Partly I'm tempted to ask her about this / offer support as a concerned friend, but she didn't even tell J (her 'best' friend) who is a recovering user. But I can't forget the bullshit surrounding it. Oh well. You guys think I should just ignore it?

Definitely ignore it. It explains some of her being MIA as she might have been dealing with it and didn't want you to know. She may have decided in her own mind that she has 2 classes of friends. Those who she can "party" with and not worry about her reputation and those who she worries about her reputation with. She maybe on a downward spiral and was distancing herself because she just wanted to do what she wants without worrying about what other people would say or think(you and J).

That's all speculation on my part but the new info. helps put into perspective how you might have benefited from not being so reactive to her disappearing act. She's obviously still in the process of figuring out who she wants to be at this moment in time. Whether she wants to be irresponsible and reckless(fun in her mind, heck in mine too in controlled doses) or responsible and stable. It also explains her demonization of you, your asking for attention was added stress she didn't want at this time. Also your pursuing the money aggressively made her feel you where being harsh on her and she figured you'd do the same with her choices. Essentially she felt attacked by you as in her mind you where forcing the situation on several fronts when it was supposed to be commitment free. Again that's speculation on my part, but I'm trying to be open and put myself in her shoes.

It's why one of the basic premises of being a PUA is to not be so reactive. Not only does it make you vulnerable by putting your feelings out there prematurely but it comes off as needy and an attempt to control because of the neediness. (IMO that is)

If you had backed off and been patient(freezed her out a bit) she may have sought you out after she figured out where she wanted to be. Now that's extremely doubtful and it would take time and a perceived change in your demeanor by her for you to have another shot with her. Now I'm saying this because I also knew from the beginning of this thread that despite what you say, your not really done with her.(no offence just my opinion and what I'm perceiving from this thread) By asking what to do it's obvious that you do care about her perception of you as well as you leaning in every post toward trying to re-initiate contact. Otherwise this thread would have died with you keeping it moving or perhaps you getting your money back. Again I mean no offence as even the best PUA has been there, we all get caught up in the game at one time or another as no one's perfect. Based on that your best move would be to steel yourself and do what has been suggested by many which is move on for now(actually for a long while before attempting anything with her again). Stay close to her friend J without encroaching on her so you can be somewhat aware of what she's up to this way you can orchestrate a "chance run in" in the distant future. That's if after cutting her off and doing what you have to you still remain interested. Again my opinion and I'm no PUA by any means.

Again Stig, no offense taken.

Your part about being in her shoes, yeah I think that explains it pretty well. But the part where you talked about backing off, you're saying that when I originally got "you'll get it when you see me" then to just not initiate contact after that, period? Because I was doubtful that without pursuit, she would have paid me back at all - especially considering the new events. I see what you're saying from her point of view, however I still think she was overreacting.

Also, Stig, you're be surprised about "have another shot" because by that I assume you mean to sleep with her. As quickly and unexpectedly this girl seems to demonize, she always comes back and idolizes quickly as well. We had a big fight in the beginning of the semester, where she slept with a friend of mine and tried to deny it (he told me what happened). Over a couple days I had deleted her number, she came to my place to exchange stuff, but eventually insisted on trying to be friends and we had a long talk about it. Time passed, and after about 2 weeks we were sexual again. Another 'fight' we had about 5 weeks ago, she found out that I had been disclosing the fact we were fucking, and it got around to her ex boyfriend. She called me on the phone, crying and pissed at me for breaking her trust, saying that she'd maybe call me in a few days. I wrote her an apology letter that night, and the next day I texted her asking for someone's phone number. She then asked me to bring something of hers to her... which I did... then she asked if she could stay over, we ended up having sex for over two hours that night.

And you're right - however "done with her" I claim to be, I want to end things on a happy/friendly note, because as a casual acquaintance / fuck buddy she's great. It's just when you try to get to close to her, you get burned. That's why I've considered giving it some time and writing something... an email or something like that.

Something I didn't think about too much in her last post, is what's going to happen to her because of the charge. While her legal trouble with the school is one thing, what I didn't consider is how her parents have financial control over her (paying for school and car). Now, when she got in trouble for possession last year, for that reason (and a couple others) her mother pulled out of school, and while she was home basically monitored her 24/7, kept her in a full time job, therapy, and on medication and off pot (for the most part). She almost wasn't allowed to return to school this time, and every time I spoke with her mother her mother said "keep her away from pot". That was it.

What's going to happen now? Her appearance is for one week from now. After that, xmas break starts, and she WILL be pulled out of school, I'm 90% sure of that. And, never allowed to return. So I'm tempted to find some kind of "talk" or email letter to help repair this... whatever with her, so that like my other ex's we end on good terms at least.

Plus, this is really fucking up my head right now. I'm having tons of difficulty concentrating on schoolwork and everything. Just goes to show what happens when you put all of your eggs in one basket.

Even if I do say something, I was planning on waiting until Sunday at least to do so. Of course, it'd be great to get "one last fuck" out of her if possible, because after school ends she'll be living over 3 hours away and under a very tight watch.

Update. Kind of funny... and you guys will probably thrash me for it, but I don't care. She texted me today.

Her (317) You!
Me (321) Hey there.
Her (356) Sup
Me (357) Not much, you?
Her (400) Not much, writing a paper. What are your plans tonight
Me (401) The same, pretty much. We haven't seen each other in awhile.
Her (405) Nope.
Me (408) Think we should change that?

A couple minutes later she calls me. Sounding happy, just like her old self. Asks me if I want to get together, do dinner or something. I agreed... asked her about when, she said 20 minutes or so, had to run an errand first.

So, she'll be coming over soon.

As I type this, an ambulance call came in, so I'm going to let her know via text that I'll contact her when I'm back if she still wants to do dinner. Wish me luck.

Just got back to check in on this page. Seems like pretty good progess until today haha. I will always tell you that you can do whatever the fuck you wanna do man. it's your life and your feelings. Is it understandable to get "one last fuck" out of her? Of course. If the sex is awesome than I dont blame you.

Am I retarded? No.

There is no way in hell this is just for one last fuck man. Don't lie to yourself. I've seen better decisions being made in the porta-potties at high school grad parties. This is bad haha. I do not approve of this message! As long as you keep this girl around you will be stuck in your life. You can only move forward without her. She is toxic

But, since you said you were gonna get video for the last fuck, I'm always up for a trailer or sneak peek

I've gotta agree with tru3demon on the fact that this is more than your making it out to be. I feel like you've got some serious feelings for this girl. With that said I will say in my opinion if you can get your feelings in check you can seriously benefit from this chick's nuttiness.

I think you might be right about her having a personality disorder. At very least she seems to be at a point where she just wants to be free to do what she wants without hearing anything from anyone. Reminds me of my long term FWB actually. My FWB has a core group of girlfriends that she cares about and their opinions of her, so she does what she can to hide what she considers her less than starling personality traits. Comparable to how I think your girl didn't like you telling her friend J about the money and she didn't tell J about getting arrested. As far as guys go she seems to orbit around whom ever she feels like being at any moment in time. If your girl feels like partying she hangs out with losers and parties, if she's feeling more stable she seeks out you for example. Again just like my FWB.

Now my FWB is one of my best friends and is all together awesome, but that's because I control our relationship by keeping her at an emotional distance. How ever I will state me and my FWB started out in roles reverse of how you and this girl did. My FWB had feelings for me and it was me who pulled the disappearing acts. I had evaluated her from the beginning as not being LTR material. So it caused initial problems but she eventually semi accepted our situation. Now she's always down for sex regardless of whether she's in a serious relationship or not. When we're in the mood we emulate the LTR thing with me actually spending the night after a plowing, cuddling and breakfast and general emotional comfort. She's an awesome wing 99% of the time and actually enjoys it. It makes things more fun for me as she gets so amped doing it and as she's fairly attractive(HB8 at least) I've enjoyed multiple MFF action with her as she likes getting down like that on occasion. The only thing I won't do is MMF which she has on numerous occasions tried to get me into. Despite my emotional distance I'm unsure if I could handle sharing her with another man that way and don't want to mess up a good thing. After all she's been one of my best friends and FWB for 10 years so she does have some power over me despite me never showing it. When ever she steps out of bounds I freeze her out and she gets the message. She knows when I'm ignoring her and 99% of the time knows why and corrects it. Though she'll make no apologies she will fix what annoyed me at least temporarily and showers me with attention to make it up. I never confront her verbally about it as that would come off as control and that's what she seems to like most about our setup. She feels free with me and able to be her crazy self.

So if you really think you can get your head right and see her truly as a FWB with no expectation on your part I think you could have something similar. In my opinion your girl and my FWB seem similar and if you play it like I did I think you could get an amazing FWB and Wing out of this.

Well, she came over. We hung out, made dinner together, she was "acting happy" as she put it. I told her I heard about the possession incident, but she didn't want to talk about it. After dinner, we were studying for about an hour when her friend wanted her to hang out, she looked at me for approval and I said "go ahead" and she got a little sullen, but started packing up.

As she was about to leave, I sat down next to her and got a serious look on my face. She guessed I was going to say something about "we can't be friends" or "I want you as my girlfriend or nothing" and I simply said "I don't think we should hang out anymore. From our last conversation, it seems I cause too much stress in your life." She took it as formally ending our friendship, and after an awkward hug said "Have a nice life" angrily as she walked out.

I could have left it there... but the AFC in me still needed closure. So I started up a text conversation. I won't post it here, but I'll summarize: basically she felt that ignoring me, the breakfast incident, and the argument Sunday (posted above) she didn't do anything wrong and felt no need to apologize, even after I said that shit hurt me. Also, she said there's so little left it's not worth fighting for anymore, that I "tore it to shreds", and that "He" (her ex boyfriend that dumped her when we started dating in the first place, that she restarted contact with since dumping me) was right about me. I told her say "(my name), my life is better without you in it" and I'd leave her alone, forever. She said she didn't know... but I had my answers already. My last two texts to her:


"I said 'I don't think we should hang out anymore' not 'we can't be friends, stay out of my life.' And idk if my life is better with you in it or not either... I think that it is. It's a yes or no question, (her name). We did this when the semester first started, and we stuck it out - and there's been a lot of good memories because of it. I don't want to fight, either. We really don't fight that much. I wanted to see how you felt before I made a decision like this, because what you want does matter to me."

(20 minutes with no response)

"Actually, you already said it - it's not worth fighting for anymore, and you're done. Thank you for having this conversation. YOu've given me all the answers I need. I'd even changed my ringtone today for you to a happy one. This is my last text, I promise you that. Goodbye, (her name). I hope you find your place in this world."

And her response?

"K"

So there you have it. I can 100% swear now I have all the closure I need. I will never text, call, email, or contact her again in any way whatsoever. And I will ignore any contact she has with me, for any reason. If I see her in public, I will pretend she doesn't exist. Even if she has years of therapy, cleans up her life, I will never ever speak to her again. She proved to me that I shouldn't waste any more thought on her.

Am I tempted to send her an angry letter? Really burn that bridge? Of course I am! There's a million things I could say to hurt her, I know so much about her now. I could post the pics I have of her on the internet. But will I? No. I'm going to finally be the bigger man now and just walk away. No more chances, no reconciliation, no more hookups, no more saving her from "crisis", nothing.

When she came over, and was in a good mood, and we were getting along, I could have just played it cool. I could have probably even gotten another fuck or two out of it. I could have just phased her out gradually, but the fact remained that she pissed me off too much and I wouldn't stand for it. That's why I delivered that ultimatum - you fight for it, or we're done. Now, we're really done. During the conversation, I almost caved, thinking I'd ask for "one more night" or to "work it out" but I didn't. I just can't deal with her anymore. Now, you'd better believe I'm sticking to my guns - I'm going to delete everything. Never. Ever. Again.

Even if I get a message like "my life is falling apart I can't be alone right now I need you" or even "please fuck me tonight, I'm so sorry for everything, I want you back in my life" I admit it will be tempting, but now I know that I just can't cave. I have to salvage whatever little self esteem and self respect I have left after dealing with this woman for so long. Even "one last fuck" would be a step in the wrong direction.

Did I handle it "correctly"? Fuck if I know, nor do I care. I got my answers. That's all I needed. Now I can really move on, and focus on my own life. Thanks everyone here for all of your support, and helping keep my resolve strong. I'd like to hear any final thoughts, and I may possibly revive this topic should she try to come back. With any luck, she won't, but if she does now I have the resolve I need to say no. Like you guys observed, even after that conversation Sunday I STILL agreed to let her come over, and hang out like nothing was wrong.

EDIT: Just read Stig's post. I like how you're giving some encouragement to the other option I have. But as you've read in my post, my feelings are too strong and my emotions are not in check. I couldn't just "brush off" her disrespect this time, and without any kind of apology or reconciliation from her I felt so disrespected I don't want her in my life in any way again. If I had read your post before this all went down, I may have caved and kept her around. But as many others said on here, and my friends IRL, just cut her out and move on. In your FWB situation, your emotions and feelings were never called into question - you remained in control the whole time, and with enough luck/skill you've managed to land an awesome FWB for over 10 years. I doubt even 1% of guys out there are lucky enough to manage something like that... maybe I will someday, but probably not. And if so, not with this girl.

Well man, you got your ending. You got your answers and everything you wanted to understand. Did you need to do this to yourself? Probably not. But i understand the whole needing to understand thing and I would've done the same thing. I did do the same thing when my gf dumped me a year ago. I went hardcore afc cause i didnt know about this pua stuff. But i learnt the hard way and so did you. Congrats on starting your new life.

But, just to be an ass, I can safely say i told you so haha. I told you on the first page of this topic that you needed to never talk to her again and NOT let her back in or nothing good will come from it. You let her back in and nothing good came from it haha. you just fought a lot and now you are done. You could've saved a lot of anger and heart ache and just dropped her from the start and chalked up the reasons to her being crazy.

I am happy you got this resolved. If i find out you ever talk to this girl again, besides a "go fuck yourself" I will actually be angry at you and I dont even know your name! You need to KEEP HER GONE FOREVER. I dont care if she becomes a nun. FUCK HER. Good luck bro. I've enjoyed this topic a lot. Thanks for sharing!

It's always easier to see a situation from the outside looking in. That's why I elaborated this topic so much. My suspicion when I created this topic was just as such - to cut her out and never look back. I let her pull at my heart-strings for way too long, let her bring out the AFC in me and damage my self-esteem and confidence. I constantly had to qualify myself TO HER and justify my actions TO HER. Now that I asked the same in return, she could not nor would she do it.

Why did I need to do this to myself, you ask? I needed strength. Strength to say no, and give myself a reason to never let her be a part of my life. In spite of all the drama she caused, I had some really good times with this girl, and aside from the dishonesty (which seemed to be getting better over time) there was no REAL big incidents or infractions that she did to intentionally hurt me. It was a culmination of all the little things. I needed this last confrontation so should the day arise that she tries to seduce me back into her life, I would have the strength to say no.

Can I honestly and confidently say, there is absolutely positively no way that I would ever let her near me again? No, I can't. I'm very physically attracted to her, and she used that against me to get me back into her life when she returned this semester after breaking up with me originally out of nowhere. Honestly man, I wish I could detail the last month of conversations her and I had before the breakup, and until the last few days I (and everyone else) saw almost NO warning signs. Of course, with how clingy and dependent she presented herself in the relationship, I was overconfident that I had plenty of room for mistakes before she dumped me. As I said, in my entire life I had never been dumped/dropped before, especially after I've started sleeping with a girl. Since dating her, it keeps happening to me.

What can I honestly and 100% say? I will NEVER fall for her again, or have any desire to date her. I won't lift a finger of effort on her behalf until she literally moves mountains for me. Knowing her, if I wanted to I could come crawling back at some point in time, endlessly apologizing for the wrongs and wishing to have her back, and that without her my life sucks and I'm really sorry for cutting her out, and she'd be back in. She'd probably even still sleep with me, for her own validation of power if nothing else. But this experience has taught me that I couldn't even bring myself to do that, I at least have enough respect for myself to see her for what she really is. As she wanders through life, and dates other men, she will indeed never forget the things I gave her that nobody else could - incredible massages, incredible sex (she said it herself, some of the orgasms I gave her were on par with her best times with her main ex of 3 years), a willingness to share her in a MMF threesome (an experience she will NEVER forget and likely never repeat - what normal guy is willing to do that?), and just in general always being there for her and all the little things I did going out of my way for her. But the conversation she had with me tonight, made it clear that all of those things she has taken for granted, now I just have to stick to my conviction that she lost possibly the best thing in her life... ME.

Whether or not someday she comes back in, I know that right now this is a very good thing. Do I miss her? Of course. Am I feeling the loss? You bet. Am I going to miss the sex? God, yes. Do I regret delivering the ultimatum? Not at all. She is toxic, a drain on me that no longer made me overall feel good about myself. I became too attached, and I needed to convince myself to let her go. I was tired of always have sex on her terms, and in general feeling powerless outside of the bedroom. I was tired of her putting me down, making accusations, criticizing my relationships, guitar playing and singing, choices in food, even my attraction to her! Feeling like no matter how much I gave and gave, it was never good enough. I maintained the frame well enough to keep it to this point, but this was the breaking point. I've learned a lot through my experience with her, and what it feels like to have a woman walk all over you and emotionally destroy you. I need the time and energy to get back to myself, get back in shape, get my academics as the focus, and I can tell you already I feel much better. The last few days, I've been so bent up over the lack of closure I could hardly sleep (already take medication), hardly eat, and didn't even go to classes. Fortunately, I'm pretty tight with my professors so they have been very understanding and I won't even be penalized. One even said in regards to the exam I missed today "Okay, you may take it later. Let me know when you are up to it".

Tru, and Stig, I want to personally thank you guys for keeping up in this topic. If I knew you guys in real life, I'd shake your hands and buy you a beer at the very least. You've been just as helpful as my real life friends at convincing me to have the courage to do this and separate myself from her. I know the advice is to game other women, but for the first time since April 2010 I am truly and completely single - no fuck buddies, no girlfriends, nothing... and that's just okay. Right now, my confidence and self-esteem needs time to heal before I can really focus on pursuing quality women; if I was one, I wouldn't want to be with me right now. I can't expect another woman to fill that gap in my life, I need to fill it myself and become happy with myself again. Not to mention, say I do find a great girl, I don't want to put the pressure of my lingering baggage on her like I did the summer girl and push her away. Not to mention, all things considered I don't think my ego can really handle rejection right now, especially from women I consider already myself too good for. Not going to say the next time I fuck a new woman she has to be as hot or hotter than my ex - physical attraction is only part of sex. I believe some day I will land a girl that's much more attractive than her, both physically and mentally. Also, PM your email if you'd like the one dirty pic I have of her >:D just remember, everyone has their own view on what is attractive - I've personally slept with girls with nicer bodies than her, but how fun she was in bed definitely skewed my attraction to her. I have my eskimo brothers to confirm just why I kept at this girl for so long - they know how much fun it is to fuck her, after all.

Oh, and of course, if I do send you the pic, please don't share. I don't hate the girl. If she was a cheating slut, that'd be one thing. She's just a misguided child who's also going through a hard time in her life, especially considering the arrest I mentioned above. That event alone will probably lead to her parents cutting off financial support forcing her to drop out of school, and either run away or be stuck at home. Being in college was really the only thing she had going for her, and that's about to be taken away as well. I just can't take it on myself to feel sorry for her anymore. Keep in mind, I did think I was in love with this girl once, and thought she was in love with me, and consider sharing the picture a token of my appreciate for all of you support in my struggle.

Peace, brothers, and to anyone else reading this topic - take this story with you and do your best to never let this happen to you. What started off as a simple "AMOG" topic turned into a life-changing decision for me.

I can't remember whose signature it is, but I'll always remember - before she can respect you, you have to respect yourself.