before you read any further, I'd like to first point out that I am good on my game, however this situation is quite complicated.


the reason I got into game is because of unfortunate luck with this girl. Now Im at the point where I can easily attract girls that I want. I've become more a chooser than a beggar.

my question is not how to attract her, but rather how do I arrange a meetup with her somehow so that I can make it that she got to me first rather than vice versa.

it's a very long story but the reason for my above statement is that we are both middle eastern and family pride is everything in our case.

I cant just go and text her or call her because I did that about 6 years ago (I was 16) and I fucked up bad and she eventually told her mom, which fucked up both of our family friendship ties.

she lives about 2 hours away from me so I wont run into her. I see her so rarely that we only see each other at weddings or funerals unfortunately. and in the past 5 years I've only seen her twice, even though we kinda grew up together from ages 9-12. Now it just feels like we are complete strangers. im 22.

I cant approach her at either weddings or funerals (once again a middle eastern culture thing)

her mom is not too fond of me. my mom is not too fond of her

I've been with many girls in that time frame, but none have filled that empty void.

Im at the stage where I'd like to settle down and she's the only girl I consider.

the only positive thing I have going is that I still have her number and she hasn't changed it.

I know there are a lot of creative dudes on this forum who give sound advice and are most def intelligent. I need your help on helping me scheme a way of getting her to contact me instead of me hitting her up.

I cant initiate anything, Cuz if it goes bad, I don't want her to start telling everyone again like she did last time to her mom. and for those who don't know, reputation and family name is everything to middle easterners. that'll prevent me from getting any other middle eastern girls down the road if this one doesn't work out.

is there anything I can do with her phone number? a friend of mine was suggesting she'd call blocked and leave my number in a voicemail or something so that way she calls first and then I have proof that I didn't initiate anything.

once again I don't need help on attraction. I got all that covered.

she is a def 9.5 and def wife material. I cant let this one slide. I know its a one-itis to the max, but fuck it.

def will appreciate your creative schemes fellas

Have you tried telepathy?

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

"my game is good" "but how do I attract her"

??

very funny, but unless you come from a similar background as me, it's very difficult to understand.

if she was a typical girl I met at the bar/club/daygame it would be dope but this is a different situation.

I legit like this girl. I didn't mean "attract" I meant have her initiate contact with me first my man.

also,
I don't want any lectures of how I should move on. I've been through that. If you can't help out then move along.

thanks

In a quite similar situation so I can relate, but there's one thing I have to tell you.

There's no rejection proof method out there. If you try something, you might get blown off and your reputation might get ruined. But if you don't, you have no chance at all to ever get her.

So, what's your pick, are you ready to take the risk?

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Dear Optimist, Pessimist & Realist,

Just to let you know that while you guys were arguing about the glass of water...... I drank it!

Sincerely, the Opportunist

man I wish I could but its not as much as my rep as it is my family. I have a big ass fam and their rep is their pride and honor.

it's been eating me alive lately and I just want to get the chance to interact one-on-one with her. that's all.

if there are some creative ass ways to get her alone to sit down and talk, Id do it.

but im at a blank.

So you want to be able to sit down and talk with someone you have only seen 2 times in 5 years. A girl who must not want to talk to you very badly since she has never contacted you. And you don't want to text/call/email her because something to do with family pride but she lives 2 hours away so you never run into her. Sounds like you are fucked.

Now what would I do, even though I am white? You gotta text her man. I dont give a shit about what your beliefs are or what your family thinks. If you like this girl as much as it sounds, you just gotta stop caring about what other people want and do what you want. Its your life. TEXT her. If you decide to text her, I have a pretty solid example text that is perfect for breaking long silences between 2 people.

As Wayne Gretzky said: You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Was it really Wayne who said that? Strange quote for a playmaker

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

yeah I'm close to the ledge where Im about to say screw it and just go for it.

the only thing is that when I first texted her 5 years ago I was a chump and let my emotions get the best of me and she ended up telling everyone and I became the laughing stock. I dont want her to pull of the same thing after the first text I send her again.

I saw her recently and didnt have the chance to approach cuz she was with her fam but she gave me a few glances here and there so I don't know what to make of that.

just out of curiosity, what is your example text?

Probably because you were staring at her... lol...

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

With everything that's been said the one thing I can think of that hasn't been tackled yet is how much you've changed over the last five years. It's very possible she has as well. Meaning one of two things:

a) she may not be the same girl you fell for when you were 16. Sure she's beautiful but she may also have become someone that you're not interested in intellectually or emotionally anymore

b) she may have outgrown the childishness that enabled her to disregard your culturally sensitive situation. It's very possible that she's now someone that you can text first and she'll keep it in confidence until it grows into something more.

You really will never know until you try. The one piece of advice that I do have with certainty: DO NOT leave a voicemail with your phone number so she'll call you first, wondering who it is. You'll get proof that she called you first but it really won't matter, because that's really creepy. Thinking of the girls that I know, they wouldn't call the number back. If they were worried enough, they'd probably get a male friend or relative to call it instead.

I've been lucky enough to be born in one of the most open-minded Countries in the world and for this reason I apologize that my insight is limited. I do feel for you bro, I really hope this works out for you.

_________________
Hank Moody: Life is too short to dance with fat girls.

rather than trolling, I'd really like to know your thoughts on this. heard you give quite the advice. thanks man
thats a very solid perspective. I'm glad you mentioned that. Now I'm looking at the situation from a diff angle.

I can hold my own when it comes to interacting with girls as I'm more of a natural. I'm not worried about what to say in the interaction, its just getting her to interact thats the hard part.

like I said its difficult to understand if youre not from a similar background, nevertheless, I do appreciate all responses.

Alright, you have a few solutions. You can make a fake Facebook profile, or use someone else's to message her and on the pretense of being that mutual friend, that you heard [your name] has been trying to get in touch with [her] but couldn't for X reason. You can also use a friend's phone, on the pretense of being that friend. Same thing. That way, you have a legitimate defence in that you weren't the first to contact her. If that doesn't work, I don't know what else will.

But as someone else pointed out, you've barely talked to her in 5 years... How do you know she hasn't forgotten who you are? Or how do you know she has no love interest? I just think you're setting yourself up for a major setback and as humans, we should protect ourselves.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

thats dope. Im most likely gonna just go for it. I read somewhere your texting guide and thought it was pretty cool.

my only sticking point in game is texting. I get numbers left and right and most end up somewhere but when I fuck up it's almost always through text.

i saw that guide you did but I'd like for you to elaborate more on how to send texts that get back solid responses and elaborate more on how to send statement questions rather than close ended questions. I'm a bit confused on that.

thanks

Just don't ask yes/no questions or any questions that require one word answers. Whenever you have a yes/no question in mind, translate it to something more exciting.

Do you have school today? >>> I bet my procrastinator has school today
What time do you have to get up tomorrow? >>> Ten bucks says you're gonna have to get up before 6 AM tomorrow.
Want anything from the store? >>> As usual, I'm gonna assume you want me to pick up some spam from the store.

You might scratch your head at these subtle translations, but translating them into statements make you sound (1) more assertive and (2) more entertaining. You also have the opportunity to throw in a neg. Also notice that in all three cases, you're still giving her the opportunity to respond.

As a general rule of thumb, the fewer questions you ask, the better off you stand in appearing dominant.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.