Let myself slip into social gutter at work, help?



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PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 6:16 pm 
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Very difficult for me, need help.

Basically, I used to smoke a lot of weed, all the time, before work, at work, after work etc. All this smoking made me antisocial, made me avoid talking to people and sitting with the majority of people sitting together in the break room at lunch. It got bad, to a point where the weed and being so high all the time made me socially weird at work, someone would greet me and I'd give a half-assed, slightly weak sounding response, often times even sounding fearful through being high, not knowing what to say, my responses being messed up as a result of this.

The weed isn't a problem anymore, I've cut down incredibly and I've virtually ended it, but the social situation at work is too bad! No-one says anything to me negatively directly, but it's very clear that people talk behind my back regularly, when I greet people at work they will say hello back, but some of them seem angry, the others just make that face where I know that they're speaking behind my back, finding it a hassle to have to respond to the 'freak' or 'recluse' in front of other people. People will say things to each other and it's obvious to me they're talking indirectly about me.

The work is virtually all male, no HBs I want to impress, but still. I need to dig myself out of this pit, to get back to being seen as a strong, social male and someone that's attractive to the women there, even though they're not game in any way.

I need to do this as practice also, if I can rise, ASCEND here, it will be good experience for all other aspects of life, girls etc. The situations pretty bad here and regardless of girls, I don't like the gutter-bad vibes I've got myself into.

Of course the obvious thing to say is join in, and socialise, become one in that sense, but what else?

Please help! And thanks for taking the time to read this shit.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 6:47 pm 
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They have a right to be pissed. They have the same job as you do, except you were half-assing it and getting high.

Start showing them that you've changed. You need to be the one to greet them and make conversation. It'll take awhile, but things will get better in time once they realize you're no longer a pothead.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:30 pm 
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I'm back just to say thanks, and I'm working on it.

Obvious answer but confirmation needed.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2012 5:23 am 
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Location: Chicago
I've went through a similar situation.

First, like 95% of this is in your head.

Second, I eventually came to the realization that most people at work aren't really looking for any, like deep meaningful interpersonal relationships with their co-workers. There are exceptions, but it sounds like you're in this category -- you just don't want to feel like an outsider.

Just look people in the eye, smile, make small-talk and win your co-workers over one by one.


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