| There are many great articles out there on kino progression and the steps of physical escalation, DiCarlo's ladder for instance. However, for me as a hopeless AFC noob, trying to move through the levels felt incredibly awkward. I would think of it as a list like "ok, I need to touch her hand, now that I've done that I can incidentally touch her leg, now it's time to give her a hug but this feels weird why am I even hugging her?" It all just felt completely unnatural.
What I think the articles neglect (probably because unless you're as hopeless as I was, you just naturally know this), is that you have to tie the kino to the conversation. I was looking at the steps like levels of a video game, which is completely wrong. The reason for the kino is a lot more important than the order, and you never touch her without a reason. I was doing that and it was incredibly awkward. You're touching her to emphasize points, to physically lead her to a location, etc. And most importantly, you're touching her as a reward. It took me MANY dates to figure out how I could naturally hug a girl to "get to the next level," when it's really this freakin' simple: she says something that's a common ground between you, you excitedly say "oh I love XXXXX too, give me a hug" and you hug her. None of this ridiculous Mystery overt compliance test stuff where you do something like say "give me a kiss on the cheek" for no reason. It's as simple as when she does something you like, reward her.
I also figured out a great time to go for the first kiss, not so much for a chick you just met in a bar 20 minutes ago but rather when you're on an actual date. When she says something to you that reveals an insecurity, look into her eyes, do the behind the ear hair stroke, then depending on what makes more sense, say "actually I find that very attractive about you" or if it's something that you shouldn't really compliment, diffuse her insecurity some other way, then kiss her. For example, a great girl I was just out with said "I'm glad you understand me, sometimes people have a hard time understanding my accent." I casually say "You sound fine to me, not sure what their problem is." Stop walking, turn her towards me, look into her eyes and say "Actually, I thought your accent was really sexy." Perfect time to kiss.
I'm sure this is probably obvious to most people but hopefully it helps at least someone.
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