This is surely a very discussed topic, i don't have that much time to search for other topics, and i think my case is quite specific.

I briefly dated a girl some months ago, we split up because she said she wants to focus on her work and doesn't want to be in a relationship. I told her i can't be friends with my ex gfs, she said it's not fair. Anyway, i call her one month ago, we see each other one day, we kiss (she hesitated a bit) and i told her we should give it another try. She tells me the same exact thing: "work is my life, i don't want a relationship, let's be friends" Now, after one full month of no contact...i want to try it again. In an even more calmer SPAM, not asking her to come back too fast, just kiss her and let things flow naturally. Neverless, i'm thinking if i should call her to see each other in some place, or surprise her by appearing in a party i know she's going to. The problem with this second option is that being in a place full of loud music and people might interrupt us a lot. So, i'm still thinking what would be the best approach.

Never put pressure on a woman to be in a relationship. By pushing it down her throat, she'll want it even less.

This is what you do: go win her back. Tell her you can be friends and she'll be happy about it. Next, proceed to go out with other girls... This will make her jealous. When she brings it up, tell her that you're "only friends". Eventually, she'll want to be in a relationship with you... AS LONG AS YOU NEVER BRING IT UP.

Show up at the party... It will indeed be a nice surprise. It doesn't matter if there's a bunch of loud music and interrupting. Isolate your target to a quiet area. Tell her you've thought about things and you don't give a shit if you can't do a relationship.

There's your winning formula. Now go get her you mother fucker.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Sounds a bit too ellaborated, but since my direct approach didn't work, is obvious i have to try a different strategy.

Too elaborate?

Don't question my shit. Just do it.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

you wanna get your ex back?

go get other girls

Well, i tried to approach her that night in a friendly open mood and she more or less kick me in the face with her attitude. She said i was putting "preassure" into her just by asking her out to dance. I honestly don't feel like pursuing her any longer after what she did.

Should have kicked her in the cunt in return. Literally.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.