First day out trying pick up in Japan - 3 girls, 3 fails.



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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 12:28 pm 
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Hi guys!
I'm an average looking 22 year old white guy from Scandinavia. I was raised in a very conservative way and have always turned down chances to get girls if they weren't "wife potential", and even then I would not sleep with them. Now I'm 22, still a virgin, wanting to do some major changes in my life.
I've been reading up on PUA for a couple of days now, just finished "The Game" and currently reading Gambler's "Natural Game".

Now I'm in Japan and I get a lot of attention. After reading up on some theory I thought "What the hell - I just gotta go out and try approach some women". I'm not very nervous when I start talking to women, it's just that I really struggle with making the move, what question to ask etc. When I get the ball rolling I do pretty well.

I approached 3 women today. I didn't close any of them. Can someone tell me what I did wrong and what I can do next in order to improve?
I tried indirect game on all three, asking for directions etc. (after reading Clozer's threads).

Lady 1: I approached her from the side when she was waiting for a traffic light. I asked her for the directions to a station nearby. She smiled, but then told me she didn't know and before I knew it she ran over to another lady (fat, ugly) to ask her for me. Then, all of a sudden, the traffic light turned green, the hot, smiling lady waved at me and ran off, and the fat, ugly one smiled at me and said "I'll walk you all the way to the station".
Thanks, but no thanks.

Lady 2: I approached her when waiting for a train. I asked her if this was the right train if I were to go to Kyoto University. She looked somewhat startled when I asked her, but she answered me and showed me the train schedule. But this also ended quickly. I just didn't know how to turn this question into a conversation, and we both ended up standing there not talking. Fail.

Lady 3: I approached her when on my way to my back home. I asked her for the directions to a gym I was looking for. She answered quickly that she didn't know and walked away. This happened too fast and I was afraid of following her etc, so I just let her go.

I've never approached women like this in my life, so even though I failed I'm very proud of myself for actually trying.
I really want to improve, so I'd love to hear some tips from you guys on how to carry indirect game into a conversation, and then making a #close.

Thank you guys so much for your time.
I dig this forum :)

DinoZ


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 12:57 pm 
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You're doing indirect cold approach day gaming. You're basically just trying to get over your approach anxiety, so I commend you for that. But it's obvious you don't have any routines or game built up around your approaching method. So your destined to get blown out repeatedly.

If you don't have a set routine in place, then you have to start smalltalking them right after they answer your bullshit opening question. Your routine might sound like this: "Oh, the Kyoto transit station is two stops up? Okay, thanks. Are you from Kyoto then? No? Where are you from? Nagasaki, eh? Do you work there too? I haven't been there yet, but I've heard it's nice." She'll hopefully start to engage you and ask where you are from and how long you have been here. After a half dozen question/answers you want to throw in your name and ask hers. Now you guys know each other and you are building rapport.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 2:39 pm 
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puaninja:
Thank you very much for your answer. I approached three new girls today, after reading your tips, and it worked much better today. I went straight to a "are you a student here?" etc. question after the initial dumb question. And it worked.
However, now I was faced with two new problems:
- I approached two of them at the same time (they were friends). One was hot, the other not so much. The not-hot chick was really into me and laughed at everything I said, the other, hot lady also smiled back at me and looked interested. But I really didn't know how to ask for names / numbers etc. when I was talking to two at the same time. I didn't know who to talk to the most, if I should keep them both interested 50%/50%, or if I should just go all in for the hot chick or... So it ended with me just thanking them for helping me and letting them go away.
- The last lady was a lucky shot, I approached her from behind (because of her hot body) and asked her if she wanted to go to a school festival with me. She said yes. Everything went great pretty much, tried some kinoing, and that did it's job as well. However, suffering from being an AFC I started thinking in the middle of the date "What if she falls for me and I break her heart. I'm only in this for her body after all". These are thoughts that always pop up in my mind when a girl starts to fancy me. Especially when I know from the start that I don't want a relationship with her. I've actually cock-blocked myself several times, as I didn't want to lead a girl on. I'm a bit tired of these thoughts ruining my chances of getting a hot chick. Did I mention this girl is Korean, a yoga-instructor and does private instruction in pole-dancing? I'm gonna shoot myself if I fuck up this chance..

Thank you guys for your help!


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 11:00 pm 
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However, suffering from being an AFC I started thinking in the middle of the date "What if she falls for me and I break her heart. I'm only in this for her body after all". These are thoughts that always pop up in my mind when a girl starts to fancy me. Especially when I know from the start that I don't want a relationship with her. I've actually cock-blocked myself several times, as I didn't want to lead a girl on. I'm a bit tired of these thoughts ruining my chances of getting a hot chick. Did I mention this girl is Korean, a yoga-instructor and does private instruction in pole-dancing? I'm gonna shoot myself if I fuck up this chance..

Thank you guys for your help!
Are you lying to her and telling her you're interested in a LTR? If you're not, I see no reason this should be a problem. And from everything I've seen, guys are more likely to get attached to girls after no time, than the other way around.

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Build trust and comfort by holding their hands and covertly rubbing your elbows on their nipples.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 12:15 am 
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Hi guys!
Lady 1: I approached her from the side when she was waiting for a traffic light. I asked her for the directions to a station nearby. She smiled, but then told me she didn't know and before I knew it she ran over to another lady (fat, ugly) to ask her for me. Then, all of a sudden, the traffic light turned green, the hot, smiling lady waved at me and ran off, and the fat, ugly one smiled at me and said "I'll walk you all the way to the station".
Thanks, but no thanks.
LOL

Good job on your improvements on day 2. But honestly you're thinking too far ahead... Who's to say she doesn't want a quick fuck? And who's to say if you two fell in love, that one of you wouldn't be willing to move to be with the other?

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:23 am 
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Fly_Swatter and Versalis, thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it.
I guess I'll just chill out for a while and ignore those thoughts the next time they appear. Thank you!

A little update:
My University's November Festival started yesterday, and I decided, even though I haven't been doing pick up for more than two days, to go out and use this chance to get rid of some AA.
It was tough, but I improved (I hope).

Yesterday:
Being tall and blond in Japan is awesome. I got so many IOI's yesterday that I couldn't keep count. However, I suck at going with the flow and just approaching. I spent like 2 hours walking around before I approached someone. The first set crashed. I lacked the confidence and they could probably smell that from miles away.
However, after that I did 4 more approaches and all those went good. I number-closed one extremely hot chick, plus got the Facebook address to 4 other girls. I really regret not asking for an e-mail address / number, but I wanted to ask everyone in the group (they were all HOT, everyone being active dancers apparently).
I was really tired after this day, I'm really not used to approaching girls, but it's getting easier. At least a little.

Today:
I started early today, but I struggled even more today to start doing something. I think I spent like 3 hours just walking around, collecting tons of IOI's (there were girls talking about me behind my back all the time, since they don't think I speak Japanese. However, I can understand everything they say, so...) However, I lacked the balls to approach in the beginning. But then I listened to some music, pumped myself up and went for it.
I approached 5 girls, number-closed 2 of them. I could probably have number-closed the other 3 as well, but they were from out of town and were leaving in a couple of hours so I didn't care to ask.

All in all, I'm very tired, but really happy with getting some results.

A couple of questions based on the last couple of days:

- How do you number-close one girl in a big group of girls only? I find it hard to isolate without a wing or something. I therefore went with Facebook, and have been texting with the hottest chick since then, so it sort of went ok, but I'd rather like to keep Facebook and game separated.
- Do you guys have any tips on how to start acting more quickly? I use a LOT of energy and time to pump myself up before actually doing anything. I feel I'm wasting a lot of time, and I'm also realizing that this will hinder me in the future if I see a hot chick at a bus stop or anything and have to move in quick.

Thank you guys so much for your help.
I can't believe I haven't put an effort into doing this before. I've gotten more numbers and set up more dates these last three days than my entire last year. I couldn't have done it without your support!
I'll keep on pushing myself!


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:43 am 
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Quote:
Hi guys!
I'm an average looking 22 year old white guy from Scandinavia. I was raised in a very conservative way and have always turned down chances to get girls if they weren't "wife potential", and even then I would not sleep with them. Now I'm 22, still a virgin, wanting to do some major changes in my life.
I've been reading up on PUA for a couple of days now, just finished "The Game" and currently reading Gambler's "Natural Game".

Now I'm in Japan and I get a lot of attention. After reading up on some theory I thought "What the hell - I just gotta go out and try approach some women". I'm not very nervous when I start talking to women, it's just that I really struggle with making the move, what question to ask etc. When I get the ball rolling I do pretty well.

I approached 3 women today. I didn't close any of them. Can someone tell me what I did wrong and what I can do next in order to improve?
I tried indirect game on all three, asking for directions etc. (after reading Clozer's threads).

Lady 1: I approached her from the side when she was waiting for a traffic light. I asked her for the directions to a station nearby. She smiled, but then told me she didn't know and before I knew it she ran over to another lady (fat, ugly) to ask her for me. Then, all of a sudden, the traffic light turned green, the hot, smiling lady waved at me and ran off, and the fat, ugly one smiled at me and said "I'll walk you all the way to the station".
Thanks, but no thanks.

Lady 2: I approached her when waiting for a train. I asked her if this was the right train if I were to go to Kyoto University. She looked somewhat startled when I asked her, but she answered me and showed me the train schedule. But this also ended quickly. I just didn't know how to turn this question into a conversation, and we both ended up standing there not talking. Fail.

Lady 3: I approached her when on my way to my back home. I asked her for the directions to a gym I was looking for. She answered quickly that she didn't know and walked away. This happened too fast and I was afraid of following her etc, so I just let her go.

I've never approached women like this in my life, so even though I failed I'm very proud of myself for actually trying.
I really want to improve, so I'd love to hear some tips from you guys on how to carry indirect game into a conversation, and then making a #close.

Thank you guys so much for your time.
I dig this forum :)

DinoZ
You must get them to invest, take them on instant dates to create distorted time. Tell her a fictional story: I went to eat sushi with an English girl, and we ended up eating the hottest spiciest sushi inthe world, can you help me and show me how to pick the right sushi? Or just plain coffee shop.

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Sooner than she thinks I'm at her door, from a world she's chosen to ignore.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 7:32 pm 
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Being tall and blond in Japan is awesome. I got so many IOI's yesterday that I couldn't keep count.
Epic. That is me.
Quote:
- How do you number-close one girl in a big group of girls only? I find it hard to isolate without a wing or something.
This is a good question in Japan. I think girls are more timid about outward displays of sexual interest and I would suspect going directly after a single girl's number is harder.
I think you're probably right about isolation, but I can't help, since I think this is one of those cultural tweaks you'll need.
You may want to read maniac_high's Usenet posts. Those are OLD and gimmicky but he *was* in Japan and had some success. Probably some stuff to learn.
Quote:
Thank you guys so much for your help.
I can't believe I haven't put an effort into doing this before. I've gotten more numbers and set up more dates these last three days than my entire last year. I couldn't have done it without your support!
I'll keep on pushing myself!
Keep it up. You're inspiring me. I've been thinking about an Asian trip next year, and this is just one more thing to keep it front and center :wink:

_________________
Quote:
Build an emotional connection through your hard throbbing cock.
Build trust and comfort by holding their hands and covertly rubbing your elbows on their nipples.
RSDTyler


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:20 pm 
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About your AA and wasting 2-3 hours before finally approaching... Here's a question for you:
What's the best, legal, and most readily available form of medicine to reduce anxiety and increase confidence and extroversion?

Answer: alcohol

So take 3-4 shots of liquor or shotgun a few beers before headed out and you won't care if you mess up.

You can't be wasting 2-3 hours of your day debating whether you should approach or not. Time is money... The Japs are all too familiar with that.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 8:25 am 
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Yeah, 1 Donnt be afraid of 2 sets or even with a guy in it, 2 Use indirect opener like asking for directions 3 Use a made up story that somewhat entertaining, let say about travelling on the subway, and you having bought the wrong ticket and an inspector wanted to fine you 50 bucks; having to plead your case. Ask their opinion are Japanese officials all crazy? Now they should defend the Japanese. 4 Take them to the cofee shop, game the HB7, Neg the HB9, see how jealous she gets...get phone numbers etc...

007 HEY, ARE YOU SMILING? Or u making a serious face like a broken stock broker? Smile and be playful they dont like miserable males.

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Sooner than she thinks I'm at her door, from a world she's chosen to ignore.


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