i met this girl online a couple of weeks ago, she is a hb8 all the way, 32yo doctor with no kids. well we hung out twice and its been nice. the 3rd time i asked her over to my apt. and we chilled, ate dinner, and watched movies. we ended up in my bed and things got really heated, kissing, touching etc.

i went to take her pants off and she stopped me. i found out on our previous date that she had been raped before and has an issue with being controlled.

Now i kinda feel as if i blew it. i dont understand why she let me get to 3rd base and then shut me down.

i am wondering if i will get another shot, it has only been 3 dates and a couple of weeks talking on the phone but i really like this girl.

i told her i really like her, maybe that was a mistake too much too soon

any advice? what should i do now? she wants to talk later but i dont want to go out like a AFC

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Dbes1

LMR (Last Minute Resistance) Bro, She wanted to peruse sex, but her "anti slut" Kicked in, and you let her get away with it!
OUCH! Implied Neediness, telling a girl how much you like her, calling a girl again and again, leaving her messages, sending flowers, telling her that they can’t sleep without seeing her. This is completely insane! But many men still do this.
Showing neediness only makes women like you less. So if a girl starts losing interest in you. STOP IT!

Smells like the 'ole LJBFs speech on it's way!

But it ain't dead yet!

Play it off incredibly slick, laid back, but totally bad ass. Confident and independent.

I think that a lot of it comes down to perception and self validation..Let me explain....

If you start off from the mental place that you are an amazing guy, and that you don’t need a partner (or anyone else for that matter) to validate you, then you are on the right track. The woman you become attracted to becomes important for you, but not necessarily 'everything'. You don’t depend on her to make you feel important, or like a man, or even liked/loved, because those things are already part of you. Therefore as a man you would still be capable of rational thought, and capable too of knowing that your relationship MAY come to an end, but you know that wouldn't be the end of the world, because you are a slick enough person to find someone else worthy of your affection.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

thanks for the post Bro, that really helps, i did call her at lunch time and before she could say "LJBF" i told her:

i dont want you to feel uncomfortable so maybe we should create some space between us because things may be moving a little too fast.

i kept the convo short, less than 3 minutes

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Dbes1

Ok, so you handled that right. Really all you have to do here is slow play it. Take her out on another date (outside of your homes) and do something fun. Then drop her off after and go your separate ways, unless of course she acts all horny and invites you in. The idea here is to show her that you can just go out and have fun and not expect sex. Then on the next date, really ramp up the kino and go for the f-close.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Right on Ninja, i got a text from her asking to see me tonight. i told her that tonight is not a good night but possibly thurs or friday once i start my vacation from work. i will take your advice and slow play it

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Dbes1

Yea, make yourself unavailable whenever she proposes the date and time. That's generally a good move. Especially when you are wanting to slow play things.

Though I will say this just backfired on me. This stupid young girl I was talking to called me and asked if I wanted to get together later that night. I had to work early the next day so I was like "How about tomorrow instead?" I wasn't just playing games either, it was actually an inconvenient time. She seemed ok with it but tomorrow came and went and I never heard from her again. She won't even answer her phone. Take that with a grain of salt whenever you pass up on a girl's offer to hang out. It may be your last.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Got it! i will not be attached to the out come

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Dbes1