It really sucks, I am feeling very lonely lately...being an engineering student I don't get to talk to girls in my class cause there arent any. And after class I have to study my ass off to pass.

I feel even more depressed because ever since 4 years ago iv never gotten another girlfriend. I have tried with girls that I find attractive but these girls never seem to like me. It is the girls that I dont like that like me... I have too high standards.

In 2012 I decided to forget about pua, because I realized ever since me n my girlfriend broke up... i started reading n learning pua and I have not seen any success. I decided for 2012 to just become a nice guy like before...reduce my cockyness and just be very nice to girls. That worked on me before and it had more benifits because ppl tended to like me. Being a nice guy this year actually got me 1 girl ...who at first I thought was cute and I wanted her. We ended up hanging out or dating i suppose during the summer , and then I started to not like her the more i got to know her. She just didnt show much complience , she didnt seem to like me that much even tho she would come and hangout or come over to my place for that matter. I know she likes me somewhat because she always msgs me on facebook chat but shes just so boring to talk to. Being a nice guy also got me able to sleep with 2 girls .... haha...well we slept together but no sex. I realized the 2 girls see me as friends, one even has a boyfriend. I think the other girl would have been dtf if it was just me and her and if I took action. Though I may not have closed with them, they still make good hot friends who have hot friends.

I see my friends who continued to learn pua, they post videos on youtube now of them picking up girls with boyfriends. The thing is, I dont care much about picking up random girls on the street... I am more interested in seducing girls that I meet from friends because I sometimes meet girls from my friends and I try to game them with my nice guy way and the girls r never interested.

There is a high chance i am going to meet an hb9 this friday and I want to become a confident nice guy who is interesting. I don't know what to read or watch. Should I check out RSD videos ... they seem the most popular. I really want a girlfriend ...like i miss having a girl who cares bout u.

I think being a nice guy will get me a girlfriend and being a cocky/funny guy will get me one night stands. Also note that I hangout with guys who dont get girls either... this is one major factor because you turn out like the ppl you hangout with. But the thing is they are my friends and classmates... they dont know anything about seduction so thats why I feel that if I watch some rsd videos or somthing ...then i will start to become better.

please help me i dont want to be an afc... i want a cute or hot girlfriend that cares about me.

Don't be so despret. You put so much pressure on what you want that it will make it harder to get because of the weight you put it on.

Accept the situation , accept thats its normal and act from there. Accept yourself and that you want to do something about it. Do you even like yourself? Put all the focus on YOU and not on " the girl" See it like this..you get what you deserve

Just watching this or that is not a magic pill thats gonne fix shit. You come across as despret and thats a inner problem. Fix that first rest will follow. Promised.

I see your problem Bro. i have seen a blog that has a tips to get the woman you desired. may be it can help you too. http://theartofseductionblog.com/

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How to Attract and Seduce Women

How to Attract and Seduce Women page

its true i am desperate now but at the same time i feel like giving up n sayin fuck it... i didnt used to be, im in my 3rd year university and before that i didnt care much bout getting that girlfriend. Sure I wanted one but i expected my self to get one eventually before becoming a senior... now time is running out and I still have no girlfriend. I could get a girlfriend no doubt... but it will be with a girl i dont truly want and i tried that before after i broke up with my ex. I had a rebound girl who i had to break up with because i didnt find her that attractive. The irony is that now that shes grown up...she got super hot.

once i graduate ... il meet way less girls in my engineering firm.
my chances will reduce...which are already low as it is.

im basicly fucked if i dont change and i got 1 and a half more years.

I do want to do somthing about this and i will... i just dont know what to do now, feel like just giving up and letting fate do what ever it wants. I do like myself, well actually i like my self less and less as i get more rejections and no success. I look in the mirror and I see a pretty decent looking guy... but the girls dont see that...or maybe they do but my game is just too weak.

You need practice. All the book learning in the world is not going to do much.
Based on your earlier failures, I'm guessing you used DeAngelo who is a marketing man married to a woman I would seriously not take home on last call.

Good stuff to read? RSD can be good, yes. Just understand that Tyler is full of shit. He says things like "it doesn't matter what you say" and "it doesn't matter what you look like". Yeah, that's why Julian and Tim just happen to score the hottest girls with the most consistency. Nothing to do with looks

It is true that talking nonsense in a fun confident way is much better than being boring and asking her how she arranges her cabinets. But talking about interesting things and figuring out what she likes to talk about are good ideas. RSD teaches you how to bang drunk chicks in a club. They are not the best for circle of friends.

I think you'd prefer Way of the Superior Man and Sinn's stuff.

yea deangelo...using his style i became too cocky and lost so many friends who i tried to game. I lost girls then got them but maybe i was just too cocky and not funny.

yeah looks do matter i think so too. I think a guy with better looks doesn't require much game than a guy who looks average or below.

I just want to start fresh and learn and apply the right stuff. I want to become a better man who is confident... I want to become an alpha male.

I will check out his stuff and the book thanks

One piece of advise. Forget "alpha". You're a nerd(so am I). There is no point fighting it. Girls can like smart guys. Especially smarter girls.

I could be wrong, but I'd guess you're not all that interested in dating a hot but stupid girl(you'd probably take it SPAM due to horniness, but you don't imagine yourself married to Jessica Simpson).

What women usually like is independence and strength. Sense of humor is great, but if you don't have it, it can be tough to learn. You may consider cultivating intellectualism. Sometimes you're closer to your goal than you think.

Learning fashion is one way to boost yourself a lot. Style matters for women, but can count for even more on men. Because even most tomboys actually put some thought into their look. A lot of guys, honest to God just roll out of bed and grab two random items from the dresser and walk out the door. And use similar discretion when picking clothes. Finding what colors and style of clothes suit you can boost you a good 2+ points.

Question about your standards. Would you date this girl if she had a personality you liked?
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Are you saying nerds ('smart' ppl) cant become alpha males? The only thing i lack is social and sexual experience but in a room setting like at a party i can be confident and 'cool' i guess. When I tell a girl im doing engineering, most of the time they seem impressed saying " ooh wow you must be very smart ..." and i just play it off like " yeaa i know i get that a lot ...but wat ever,im sure ur smart too"

If the girl was really dumb i usually wouldn't think of anything serious from her. I would only date to have fun with her and for her to have fun with me. But if the girl really cared about me and had strong feelings for me it wouldnt matter much how smart she was. Sure its a negative but it would be worse if the girl was smarter than me lol.

I have some sense of humour, i can make girls laugh with my corney jokes lol or maybe they laugh at me...

Yeah I need to improve my style i think... but i have decent style. I dont dress bad, i dress pretty preppy most of the time . Sometimes i dress what ever ... like i pick what ever items are available in my closet, those are the days i don't expect, try or care to meet girls.

About the girl, for sure i would date her if she liked me too. Shes looks so hott...and if her personality is good she would be a keeper. But this girl looks out of my league, i could never imagine a girl like this liking a guy like me.

The alpha male ideal is a big guy, who's intimidating. This is not your nature, and fighting uphill to transform yourself will usually end in failure. You don't want to fundamentally change, you want to be the best version of what you already are.

Honestly, if you feel like that girl is way out of your league, you mostly just need confidence and experience more than anything. She's cute I'd say a HB7 personally. But she's not out of many guy's league. Provided he's not obese or creepy, almost any guy can date a girl like that. He just needs to have his shit together.

Provide me with an example of how far down you'd be willing to go. IE what is the least attractive woman you still find attractive? I suspect you don't have overly high standards at all. I think you just aren't into fat girls.

How many female friends do you have?

Alright, I was looking on google and i found a girl that i was iffy about but is probably near the bottom of my acceptable girl list.



If she looked like that she would need a good personality for me to like her

If it was a girl who was really good looking, she wouldnt need as good personality as I would more like her for her looks. But, she would still need a decent personality that i can i like.

I guess its similar to guys and game when it comes to the looks of guys.
But yeah, if the girl is atleast pretty good looking then I would consider her and see how her personality is like.

Also I don't like girls who are overweight...it is a big turnoff for me. The one girl i mentioned before who likes me but is boring, she has a cute face like shes probably a 7/10 for face in my taste ... but she is a bit noticeably overweight and that is another reason i dont like her much. I have even tried to hint her to come to the gym or play some sports with me...but she just doesnt seem like she likes being active.

and female friends umm...it depends by what you mean by friends. At school i have like probably around 15-20 but they arent close friends...I dont have any close girl friends really. I have some other girl friends as well who i chill with during the summer time from high school.

I wouldn't say you have unrealistically high standards at all. Average to modestly below average looking guys can certainly get girls between your bottom and the one you think is too hot.

I suspect you've been reluctant to go after many girls in a direct way. How many times have you told a girl you've been talking to for less than 2 minutes that you think she's hot/cute/sexy, etc? How many times have you asked a girl out for a casual meeting within a few minutes(less than 20) of talking to her?

Honestly, most guys here fail to get the vast majority of women we talk to. Any PUA that promises even %20 conversation is a complete liar(which is to say ALL of them). Truthfully, most girls are just not going to be into you. And that's true even if you're good looking. The upside? Because girls are picky, when one does like you, it's a lot easier. The most important thing I ever learned was figuring out which women were attracted to me initially and which ones were humoring me with their responses. My success got way better after that.

You need to spend more time hanging out with girls as friends. I would of course suggest those female friends be decent looking. Even 4s are okay, but no worse. There is a huge difference in personality between slimmer girls and fat ones, by and large.

"The most important thing I ever learned was figuring out which women were attracted to me initially and which ones were humoring me with their responses. My success got way better after that."

That has to be the truest thing I've ever read on these boards. Thanks for reminding me of about that -- I was out last week at the club chasing down one girl who had minimal interest in me and wound up forgetting all about the one I met earlier who told me to come meet up with her later.

Fuckin' fundamentals man -- can't beat 'em.

ok, so the title is, How can a nice guy get good with girls? What do I read?

first lets break down a misconception,

the nice guy, in terms of pickup the term nice guy is demonized and often leads guys to believing that being positive and friendly is the kiss of death, when in fact, being liked and trusted enough for a girl to be ok with bending over for you is the goal

here is where the line gets distorted, guys who are ''nice'' in the bad sense, become nice out of neediness, they are ''nice guys'' because they have one girl in mind that is important to them and they

1) don't try to sleep with her, they try to be ''nice'' instead and hope she will sleep with them

2) they don't meet other women and become fixated on one girl

the problem here is not being friendly, or positive, or socially aware of how you are making someone feel, the problem is, fearing rejection, seeking approval (being nice and friendly to get something, or avoid risk, rather then because you are just a positive person)

these are the guys that keep things totally pg and do their absolute best to make sure a girl doesn't know they like them, then months later after building so much rapport that they are like best friends, they randomly try to make out and it's fucking weird and it comes out of no where, these are the guys chasing the girls with boyfriends trying to get their way in by taking the ''FRIENDS FIRST'' route and trying to say that perfect thing to get her to like him, trying to ''nice'' their way in until she likes them enough that she just rips their pants off

these nice guys are the guys that are afraid of vaginas, if she was to know they had a penis, she might not like them anymore... cause girls probably don't like sex right? it's not nice, it's not polite to try to sleep with a girl

these are the guys that are not used to asking girls on dates and think it is a really huge deal to ask a girl out and get ''rejected'' as apposed to just asking out 30 girls in a day and knowing to expect 22 no's and 8 yes's

these are the guys that wait for that special girl and that special moment, instead of just trying to create that with every girl that catches their eye, they put a high value on girls and think they are unattainable, something special, these are the guys that will absolutely not have sex with anything under a 7, yet won't put themselves in a vulnerable position and try to sleep with anything over a 7 either or ask anyone out under a context other then ''just as friends'', they will just make friends with attractive girls and try to ''nice'' their way in until the girl gives them the go ahead (which rarely if ever happens and these types of guys usually go on giant dry spells)

this is what a nice guy is, it has nothing to do with being friendly, it has nothing to do with not being rude, it has everything to do with being afraid, it has everything to do with caring too much, it has everything to do with hoping that being friendly will be enough for a girl to just take control and take the lead, it has everything to do with thinking you are not good enough as you are so you have to be ''nice'' in a certain way or do a certain thing for her to like you

''nice'' is a bland term of mediocrity, pleasent, when you meet a fat girl who is friendly, you say oh... she was nice, you would still be attracted to a hottie that was friendly, but you wouldn't call her nice because she is more then mediocre and pleasent to you, nice is better then saying, oh... I don't really care about that person, but I don't dis-like them

the problem with all this, is some guys see the word nice in pua material, then they think... so being a dickhead is the answer hey?, then they start acting cocky, start acting arrogant, start throwing out dem' negs and dhv's, all of a sudden, they are going to cocky funny their way into the girls pants, just 20 negs to go till she goes down on you, was so close to DHVing that girl into submission, the problem with this is... they are still ''nice'', the key missing here, is trying to sleep with the girl, not what nice or mean things you can do to her to get her to give you the go ahead or come on to you, girls are pretty obvious with their body language and signs, if she is friendly and doesn't resist that's just about all you need, get close to her and get comfortable with each other, get down to sleeping with each other, make a move, show some interest and intentions to be more then ''nice'', if you are ''trying'' in order to get her to do and go first instead of just doing and going first yourself, you will either be the ''nice'' guy, that she knows, or the ''douchebag/asshole'' that she stopped talking to, neither of these have a high success with getting you laid, and you would probably be better off being the ''nice guy'' then the ''douche bag''

now moving on, you asked if you should check out RSD, in my opinion, NO, do yourself a favour and don't even watch free tour videos, you may find if you do you will become addicted to them, thinking the RSD coaches are some kind of superheros, thinking that you are now part of an exclusive club, you can't do it yet but with RSD's help you can, and eventually might start to consider buying RSD products thinking it's a good idea cause that's were the good stuff is, not only that but you will have a bunch of half truths half lies floating around

why might you feel the above? they use NLP to advertise and it's about half solid content, and about half bullshit and advertising to increase their sales (they even say some misleading things so that guys are more likely to stay into them, rather then telling the truth so guys can actually improve), they in fact have a bad rep in field and on bootcamp, but if you check their websites it's nothing but sunshine rainbows, golden reviews etc., and they have a lot of brainwashed followers that will stand up for them to the death because they are unaware that they have been duped, check outside their websites, shit tons of unhappy bootcampers, shit tons of ''I saw the RSD guys hitting it up in L.A. getting rejected all night and trying to fuck fat uglies and failing''

RSD ''seems popular'' because they have the most fanatic fan boys due to their marketing tactics (most likely to become brain washed watching free tour videos)

don't try to be anything you are not, just be yourself, sounds cliche as fuck, and it is meant in a certain way, become your best self, transend your insecurities and be willing to put yourself on the line and become vulnerable, face your fears, just actually try to sleep with the girl instead of trying to act a certain way or do a certain thing to get her to try to sleep with you, give instead of take, stop trying to get her to give to you, and start just believing in yourself and giving to her under the assumption that you have nothing to hide and you are good enough and the more you do this, the more you will have a strategy based on what has worked well in the past and what has failed you, and it's not so much about the techniques or acting in XYZ way, or saying XYZ thing, it's about paying attention and reading the girl properly and being aware of how she feels and how much she trusts you as well as being aware that girls enjoy sex but just don't want to seem easy or get judged for that

if you want to be more attractive, I suggest you work on your physical appearance, instead of, being cocky, or being rude, or being friendly

physically make the attempt to have sex with girls, show them you have sexual interest through your words and actions and don't just sit back and act like a friend and try to ''nice'' your way in so she trys to sleep with you, just try to create good logistics, get to know her and actually care about who she is so she can trust that you are not a rapist and think of her as an actual person rather then just a piece of meat to jack off into, then actually try to have sex with her instead of doing nothing and hoping she does something cause you ''NICED'' it up hardcore enough for her to take action, and if she does let you in and opens up a bit, don't be a rabid dog with no self control and be all OMG YOU HAVE SEXUALITY THAT'S WHAT IM INTERESTED IN... no, be interested in her, not her vagina, give her a reason to trust you, physically try to enter that vagina, but keep your focus on her, not the vagina

you want to sleep with a higher volume of girls and do it more consitently? you would be wise to start meeting a higher volume of girls, and come up with a coarse of action that actually leads to that act of sex, rather then just, IM GOING TO IMPRESS HER WITH BEING NICE OR BEING RUDE, AND MAYBE SHE WILL TAKE ACTION FOR ME, and she will give me the sex and make it happen, or make it obvious for me that I can't fail and won't resist at all or throw curve balls at me
this is that inner nice guy shit, you don't try, but boohoo, you wish being nice just got girls to do it for you so you didn't have to be responsible and assume any negative critism, because you care too much, and it's just soo hard because you haven't gotten used to meeting lots of girls and facing the unknown is scary, facing approach anxiety and cold approaching, and facing rejection are both scary cause I'm not used to it, how can I just get laid all the time without having to face these things?, I want it easy and not have to change!!

-you have to meet the girl
-you have to ask her out
-you have to get to know her and connect
-you have to escalate to sex

you have to become used to doing these things if you want to become efficent at getting laid

it's a simple process, more simple then a lot of guys make it out to be but no one says it's easy, it can be really emotionally stressful at first, it's like working out, the more you lift weights, the easier it gets, the more used to it you get, the bigger the weights you can lift, eventually you are ripped as fuck and it's easy as fuck to lift weights for you, you enjoy going every day cause it's a habit and you can successfully pickup the big weights
no, it's about the exact same both ways, ''game'' or your game plan, gets you the girl, it's your status she is attracted to, how important you are, and a large part of that for girls is how you look, just like how it is for guys, girls are shallow also, and there are girls that are not shallow, but you just have to start trying to MAKE IT HAPPEN, instead of sitting back and hoping you said the right thing so that she makes it happen, there is no right thing to say, just pay attention to her, GIVE instead of being focused on getting, give her a fun time, tell her stuff that you enjoy so that she can enjoy it too, listen to her and give her a chance to tell you about herself and see if there is chemistry, show her you like her, she her she turns you on, show her you want her, get her alone, get horny and do it up, don't hope that she does all this shit for you, don't sit there thinking of how you can take from her and what you have to do to get something from her, just GIVE GIVE GIVE and you go first, take the responsibility

What about stuff like favors and helping out girls? I'm genuinely a nice guy and when this girl I like from work asks me to cover her shifts or help her with stuff while working, I sometimes say no (even though I don't mind) just to be the guy who has the balls to say no to her because she is gorgeous and guys do just about anything for her.

ben franklin effect
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Franklin_effect

this is really only an issue of frame control and psychology, people become accustomed to behavior, a person who does favors and invests their time/effort/emotions into another person tends to grow to value that persons investment more then somone who doesn't, and actually becomes more likely to do more favours for you in the future with more frequency and a higher level of investment (foot in the door)

while on the other hand, the person that is having the favors done for them is prone to become accustomed to that behavior and this can shift their intrinsic motivation to do a task based on the persception of cost vs benefit (value)

this is called the overjustification effect
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overjustification_effect

but realistically if the girl finds you attractive, this doesn't matter all that much, PLENTY of guys do girls favours, hold open their doors, buy them dinner, buy them coffees, cover their shifts... and at the end of the night.... blow a big load in them

the solution to this anxiety about being friendly? stop worrying about being nice or mean, start worrying about being congruent and honest with your true intentions and don't hide them or lie, if you focus on what you want and go for it without shame, it will become congruent and not that big of a deal, become comfortable with who you are and what you truly want, and don't be ashamed to express yourself or be assertive in expessing your opinions or following through on your intentions, in both a positive way, negative way and sexual way, just don't be ashamed of what you truly want, be congruent with it instead

think of it like this, a guy who is congruent in a university with just talking to all the girls in his lectures and flirting with all of them and hitting on all of them, and trying to sleep with all of them, eventually just becomes expected to do this, when he meets a new girl and hits on her and she knows his reputation, it's not a big deal to her, it's not a big deal to him, he asks her out, she says no or can't, no big deal, he will probably keep hitting on her and flirting anyways and ask her out again in a week or two, and will have done the same to 20 other girls in the class by that time, it's no big deal, ''he's just that kind of guy''

where as a needy guy who cares too much, is nervous and ashamed of his sexuality, will just work everything up into a big deal, he never flirts with girls, he keeps thing pleutonic and hides his intentions, if a girl found out it would be a big deal, so he specifically targets 1 special girl who he likes more then all the rest, and builds things up into a bigger deal more important, more pressure, more expectation, then he says or does one thing that reflects his intentions, such as says, ''I LIKE YOU, WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?'', and then if she says no, he is crushed, it's the end of the world, that was his one shot, he thinks of this one no as the final straw and that girl hates him forever (not true btw), but it happened in the first place because ''he is not that kind of guy'', and there is pressure on the girl because to her it feels like a marriage proposal cause she knows he cares to much and there is expectations on her and he doesn't continue down this path, from that point on, it's just being nice and trying to get a girl to make herself vulnerable for him by niceing her to death until she does so, not showing his intentions, not trying to make it happen, trying to avoid that BIG DEAL, that making himself vulnerable feels like, but he only makes himself vulnerable because he considers sex to be some big deal and puts girls up high on a pedastool of importance and purity, and fears the thought of facing that BIG DEAL again, cause he remembers what happened the last time