so this class with this girl with which is at the worst an 8.5/10, I had class with her before, I knew she had a boyfriend she lived with but we still hung out and got food, went to the beach together, etc despite that, and she always felt guilty doing it,like she would say yes to hanging out one second then and make an excuse not to, and vice versa. So when class ended,I asked her to hang out 3-4 more times and twice she agreed but then backed out the last minute when we didn't have class. I stopped texting her, and now 3 months later she texts me "hey how have you been"

we going on a little small talk conversation about school, how each of us were doing etc..

so then i go

Me : what made you text me out of the blue though..i figured you have forgot about me and shit" (Yes, I forgot to write "you would have forgot about me"
Her : No why? I just wanted to see how you were doing
Me: I'm joking lol, we gotta catch up one of these days
her : lol yeah, I never see you around campus
me: I know..we can get coffee or something like that when the weather clears up a bit lol, what's your schedule like?

__

I don't think anything I said wasn't smooth, and the very least not awkward. I don't see why she'd hit me up out of the blue just "to see how I'm doing" considering we we never great friends or anything, we just hung out like three times so it's not like she was checking up on an old good friend, you know? and not want to do anything with me at all but check up on me, but I could be wrong.

She ignored that coffee text, which was a few days ago. Should I even bother contacting her again just to see what happens? I was thinking about playfully negging like "you're definitely one of the cutest and strangest girls I've ever met lol"

Yes, you should bother. But instead of just texting, text and then call. With her on the phone, ask her to do something. And make it more fun and more excusable than coffee. This girl wants to get to know you better, without feeling like she's cheating. Hang out with other people = solved.

Rule of thumb: If you think "should I go after her" the answer is always "yes, why not?". Just don't get hung up on it.

She is a college girl. And all you can come up with is how about some coffee? LAME!

Get this, if the girl your going for is cute, she will have bunch of guys chasing her. And out of all those guys, she is gonna go for the guys that are most fun. Work on being more fun and adventurous then the boring coffee guy. Your not in your 60's.

I don't think coffee is necessarily a bad thing. I always like to keep the first date very light in case either of us aren't really into it. There's very little pressure for either person and it's a relaxed environment to get to know each other better. The second date is when you really need to pull something unique and fun out of your ass to show her you mean business.

However, you said you already hung out before, so like the guys above me have said: pick something a little more exciting. She's obviously texting you for a reason, and that's the fact that she has some lingering interest for you. She probably broke up with her boyfriend, or at least is on the verge of it.

As for your conversation, I don't really like what you said. You acted like it was this awesome thing that she was texting you again and you made a big deal out of it. Don't do that. You were also very vague with your time/place. "We need to do something sometime..." is pretty anti-alpha. "All this shitty weather is giving me a craving for pumpkin cider. Ever try it? I'm headed to Pumpkin Cider R Us if you want to come along." would have been a lot more defining.

No, Pumpkin Cider R Us is not an actual place.

so what should my text be then, since she ignored that?

I definitely don't want to call her.

Snarg, there's this place in Huntington called Nags Head that is ridiculous in the fall, they have like 15 pumpkin beers on tap and it has such an awesome SPAM, it's a great place to hang out.

But yea, as opposed to saying we should so and so sometime, you come out and say it. and even if it's just coffee, you can play it up to be the best freaking cup of coffee in the world. even if you dont have a place, or if she asks- "psh...it's a secret," or "starbucks" would at least get a chuckle, and it takes the same amount of time.

If she hasn't responded, dont text again. Maybe wait a day, call up. if she answers say "yo, what are you doing right now? Im going to this awesome place (I wouldnt say a coffee place because you already did that), come with me."
if she says no, say "na, dont worry. Ill pick you up in a half hour." if she says no again, "alright, but it's going to be awesome. [talk briefly, ask whats up, yada], then cut it short with- (false time constraint, ah, I have to run) Hit me up later so I can tell you about it."

however, if she doesn't answer and it goes to voicemail, start breathing heavily and say "im thinking about you." just kidding.

let us know how it goes!

cheers.

DB

If you're too chicken shit to call her on the phone, how are you expecting to handle yourself with your fingers in her pussy?

you know what would be cool man?

if you thought of something fun to do, and then you called her instead of texting and got over your fear of not wanting to do that, if you start calling girls, stop texting them (like all together not just in this situation, just full stop on the texting unless they are initiating it and cut it short when they are), and you call girls like you do with guys (to hang out, not for chit chats) then when you hang out you have fun, or you get down to business and actually try to sleep with them

you might have some better luck getting laid then with oh boy another girl with a boyfriend... what's the perfect DHV/NEG combo for this shit?

the way to get laid, is to physically put forth the actions and make that happen face to face, and the girl either likes and trusts you enough to allow that to happen, or she does not, but you have to try or it will most likely not happen, and the dhv's are not as important as the physically trying to make it happen

the thing you should consider the most, is logistically how can you put yourself in a good situation, and does she trust me enough to assume I think of her as more then a human condom to blow a load into (if she is not giving good logistics, make it an invite to do something fun with a few of your friends)

that's pretty much it, if you are getting flaked, the solution is not more texting, that's how you get yourself into texting buddy hell where the girl starts texting you every day and never wants to meet, and if she ever does by that time you are friend zoned

waste less time trying to think of the perfect thing to say for that one special girl that already has a boyfriend and 20 other guys texting her in the friendzone doing the same thing as you, and spend more time meeting new girls and trying to physically sleep with them sooner, rather then later, you will be happy that you did when some girl calls you 3 months after flaking you and you already had sex a few times since you last saw her

GOOD LUCK

I have no fear of talking to girls in person or making a move. I've called her before as well.

also, the reason I mentioned the weather was because of the hurricane that hit hard, and I suggested coffee one of these days, because I implied that we'll meet up after during/after school, trying to be passive aggressive since I know when I hung out with her she seemed guilty to do it with her boyfriend, since I'll ask her to hang out and then she'll agree, then be like no. I remember one time I asked her to go to the beach during the summer and she said sure, and then as she walked away and said "I forgot I have work tomorrow morning", things like that happened multiple times, whether it worked the opposite way or not. I asked her if she wanted to come in to my house one time while we were in front to chill and watch a movie, and she thought about it, and finally went "I really need to study for my test tomorrow"

and It's not like I was thinking of this girl when we stopped communicating for months. She was the last thing on my mind.. but I appreciate all the help and will keep it mind.

haha, as subtle as a brick. that's what I say about kino, how are you supposed to F her if you dont touch her.

You need to call her, period. Setting up dates over text is much tougher(based on what others say, I have almost never done it). I can't promise you that coffee was too boring for her, but it might be. If this girl is hot, she has guys asking her to do interesting things all the time.

Though she seems to be sort of attracted to you, it's clearly not overwhelming or you'd already have her. So you need to do something more. Stop worrying about blowing yourself out. Playing this weak is your worst bet. Because it's very unlikely to end in you getting her.

Don't forget that she may just be fucking with you as an ego boost. A lot of girls do that.

she is guilty, but are you guilty? do you care she has a boyfriend? are you trying to be her friend or do you want to get with her? have you been honest with her? what are your intentions here and are you willing to follow through and act on them?

logistically:

something fun > coffee

she's going all skittish on you because she has an obligation to her boyfriend, and you are a guy, she knows you have a penis (not sure if you know it) and she knows what guys like to do with their penises, she's probably been around the block once or twice if she is in the top 15% of attractiveness like you suggest she is

coffee is almost like a test to see if a girl is really into you and available, you say, HEY YOUR CUTE, BLAH BLAH BLAH COFFEE, then you expect her to flake cause coffee is gay and the way you put it sounds boring, so if she shows up that's your sign she's interested in you enough to show up for a coffee, that's like what direct opening does for you, cuts back on time wasted, you basically kill all the suspense and get to the point, just put it in a way that suggests, I WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU, MEET ME FOR THIS BORING THING, IF YOU COME I WILL TRY TO SLEEP WITH YOU, then if she comes and you get your chance, and if you don't deliver prepare to get flaked and her to lose interest, because she didn't show up for coffee, she showed up to get laid and go through the LETS GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER so she doesn't feel easy or like she is a human condom

just think, if one of your male buddies was like... HEY MAN, WANNA GO FOR COFFEE?

would you be like, HURRAY COFFEE!! I've been waiting all day to hit up starbucks!, or would you be like... nah you have fun, staying home got work tomorrow

same thing with this girl and her boyfriend, if you had a girlfriend and some other girl (lets pretend she was sort of average compared to the gf but still dooable) was all like, hey TEEHEE, wanna come inside and maybe rub oil on my back? TEEHEE maybe your girlfriend will find out maybe not, but she knows you're here probably!! TEEHEE

would you be like... SEEMS RISKY BUT ILL DO IT, THIS IS A GOOD FUCKIN IDEA RIGHT HERE!!

or would you be like.... uhhhh damn... tempting... uhhh.... FUCK, no I gtg, damn it

^ the above is the same shit, it's just in guy language instead of chick code

now, the correct logistics is like lets say same situation when you have a girlfriend, but lets say, betty or w/e you want to call her asks you out to hang out with her and her buddies to go bowling or something, so you say to your girlfriend, IM GOING OUT BOWLING WITH A BUNCH OF PEOPLE, then after bowling becky is like, Yo, lets just stop by my house and eat, im starving, then you get inside and becky starts cooking and throws on a movie, she sits close to you on the couch so she is touching you a bit but you don't really clue in too much and she isn't trying to do anything, then into the movie while eating she looks you in the eyes and calmly without talking in a serious way slowly goes in and kisses you, YOU'RE ALL, ''BUT BETTY I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND'' she's like, ''it's ok she doesn't have to know'', then she continues and kisses you again, puts her hand on your thigh and keeps going, you pop a boner, she puts your hand down her pants, game over... if you didn't want it, you would have just stood up and stopped it, or said something more or left... your poor poor girlfriend

now, most of the time it's not going to go like ^ this, girls with boyfriends are a fucking waste of time, and they will flake you 9/10, but if you want to do it up, then you have to do it up, being a friend gets you gay friend land

Post was totally awesome. Modded for good reason, I see.

Somehow double posted

If there was an A+ post it's this one.

I've never laughed and been informed at the same time in my life lol.