OK,

So posted about this a few days ago but the situation has changed. Basically was seeing this girl, sex and a few dates which were fun, a lot of fun actually.

So she broke up with me a few days ago (citing different working patterns, which is fairly true, and different interests, which is complete crap) which although was a bit of an ego slap was ok because I actually gaming a girl I am more interested in at the moment AND I was never really in it with her for a relationship - just fun. We agreed to meet at the pub on Friday to have a chat - basically because I kind of wanted to know why - I am an inquisitive farker at the best of times and a nosy bastard at the worst.

However this morning she sent me a text saying she didnt want to meet at the pub as she thought that it wouldnt solve anything and then DUM DUM DUUUUUM she told me she was with a guy who makes her really happy and who she thinks she is meant to be with - which was a massive slap in the face, nobody likes being cast aside for another model, no matter if the reason is logical/reasonable.

Right so a) I know I shouldnt be annoyed or surprised by this as i was never planning on staying with her and I was gaming other girls behind her back but I am. I guess I want to know how long she was seeing said guy for (probably started seeing him in the past week, when I was away mountain leader training, based upon our text convos).
b) More importantly than that I would actually like to have her as a friend, she is pretty cool and was fun to be around, but not really sure how to get this to happen, oh and I think she has my coat which I'd very much like back.

Oh and stupidly (I know I shouldnt have) I reactted to her text about being with another guy - nothing massive but I let her text push my buttons (text was: Wow, I didnt really expect that. Not going to lie but I get the feeling you used me here?)

Any advice on how I can maybe get her to meet up and get closure/get my coat back or change this into a friendship (not got many female friends so in that sense it would be good). I suspect I know exactly what replies to this post are going to be but Im going to ask anyway.

just tell her she has your coat, and you would like it back

don't friendzone her either

you'll be re-engaging her in a few months

Her: I dont want to meet at the pub blahdeblah new guy blahblah.

I would have done:

You: I kinda just wanted my coat back.

She'll get all pissed off i imagine. if she does it shows she has feelings for you.

You want to rationalize why she was seeing this guy when you were seeing other girls behind her back? There's nothing to rationalize: your ego is hurt that you labeled her as temporary and she felt the same way about you.

What do you really want? Is it...

a) the jacket
b) her friendship
c) exclusivity

If it's just a and b, you can afford to wait. There's no rush, she'll get it to you. If it's all of the above you want, you need to first acknowledge that that's your goal.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

I guess I do just want a first and then b really, c is just because my ego has been hurt and due to something in the past I dont like it.

Do what I did to my ex. Tell her that you need your coat back, and you are sending your NEW girlfriend over to pick it up. That way it avoids any awkward situation or potential conflict between the two of you meeting in person.

She'll be like "What? That's fucked up, don't do that." Then you tell her to just have her boyfriend open the door and do the exchange with your girlfriend. That way she doesn't have to be involved either!

And if she asks why you have a girlfriend already, just tell her she's not really a "girlfriend" per se, just a fuck buddy. That kind of shit really messes with a woman's head.

Oh, and be prepared to never see your coat again.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn