| - I would like to prefix this by saying that I am not a master, I'm a guy just like you. But instead of that being a detriment to the validity of my advice it should instead by a commendation. Masters of PUA are so far removed from the needs and worries of the normal guy as to make their advice tantamount to nothing. That said I am still open to criticism. I have been at this game for a while but if you are a newbie feel free to tell me if I have not accounted for your needs and if you are an old hand feel free to tell me where I have gone wrong, I'm posting this in the general questions forum as I think it gets more traffic and because I want to get opinions on this before I bring it further. I hope this reaches you in good health - S
Firstly I'd like to address some assumptions that this forum tends to make:
1. Any man can get any girl
2. Sex is possible on the first meeting
3. This is easy, if you don't get it then you just don't understand it.
4. Instant gratification. Follow this site like scripture and your needs will be fulfilled instantly.
Now I would like to make a bold statement. ALL OF THIS IS WRONG. Although in some exceptional cases it may be true any man can get any girl, there are so many subsets of the fairer sex as to make this an impossibility, you can however widen your "Area of opportunity." Sex is not always possible on the first meeting (unless you engage with a hooker) 99% of us have to work hard. This is not easy, it's damn hard work but the rewards are immense. Joining this site, creating a user name and a a password does not make you a pick up artist, it is a process of change which may take you years.
There are however some assumptions you should take as cannon.
1. There is no such thing as an ugly man
When I see a fat bastard in a club with greasy hair and a stained hoody It breaks my heart. Not because I see an ugly guy but because I see a lazy guy. There is no man on this planet that is not at least presentable and this is why, everything can change. I know I can't reach all of you so I'll just use myself as an example.
I have shit hair
I have something very rare in the world of hair, a triple crown. Good in rugby, bad in style. It means that I do not have one curl but three, any kind of length and I look like a circus freak but I found a solution, keep it short. Buy a clippers and become responsible for that shit yourself.
I have a babyface
Big cheeks. Big eyes. Big ears. I am basically Thumper from Bambi, the kind of thing girls "awh" at but don't want to fuck. Solution? I grew a beard to make me look grown up, people say I look at least 3 years older than I actually am and I love that thing like a child.
I used to be fat
The key word in that sentence is used. I joined a gym and in only a short period of time I shed weight and gained muscle, now I am at the point where I actually consider myself in shape and think of my body as an asset and in reality it wasn't that hard
When dealing with your appearance however it is better to think of your positives, I have a deep voice, a jaw you could break bricks off and and a genetic pre-dispositon to building muscle. According to me that is all I have.
2. You Got This, give it time
With the right resources and a great deal of time a man can become anything, you are clay ready to be molded. The key is to think in the long term, nothing comes easy but anything can come with patience
THE GAME
This site refers to pick up as a game. THIS IS WRONG. In a game you have cheat codes, tutorials and infinite respawns. This isn't a game, it's WAR filled with all the blood and feces you don't see in movies. It's hard, tough, disheartening and long. Like WW1 or Vietnam. Don't let this discourage you though, the greatest moments in human history have happened in war along with the greatest stories of courage and triumph and at the end of the the day this is what you'll remember.
Now there are two parts to the game, inner game and outer game. Inner game refers to yourself, outer game refers to others.
INNER GAME
We are what we think, all that we are arises from our thoughts, with our thoughts we make the world - The Buddha
This mother fucker knew his shit. Most people think of their mind as an asset, something that helps you and guides you through life. THIS IS WRONG. in most instances your mind is your enemy, it defines your limits and it holds you back. It is the whiney little wimp in the in the corner that convinces you of reality when in fact that reality does not exist. You need to reign in your mind and control it like the working dog it is.
How to master your inner game
The first step towards mastering your inner game is to focus on your goals. What do you want out of PUA? do you want to fuck relentlessly, do you want to improve your self worth overall or do you want a relationship etc etc. Think, reflect and once you find that goal focus in on it like a laser, let it guide you. I want a relationship and as sappy as it may sound I want someone who can satisfy me for a long time to come.
Then you have to identify and minimize your weaknesses. What are your weaknesses? Do you consider yourself unattractive? Shy? Awkward? Unworthy? Inexperienced? First step to eliminating these is to find all of your insecurities and know them (writing them down helps). Once you know them you can oppose them and recognize them when they hold you back. Once you best them they become immaterial. You can ignore them in the short term and deal with them in the long term. I have some problems in my past, family issues that have affected my self worth and has made me doubt myself, I also used to be fat and often I disregard myself aesthetically but 1... 2... 3... poof! those insecurities are gone!
Next you must know your strengths (again writing them down helps). Are you attractive? Friendly? Funny? Charismatic? Physical? Once you identify your strengths you can love yourself and it is vital that you love yourself or else no one will love you. I am funny and charismatic, I am also quite physical in my approach. I let these things guide me and define me as a person.
Next, know your niche. As I have said any guy cannot get any girl but he can get a particular kind of girl. Are you a jock? nerd? goth? hipster etc etc? I don't care what you are and neither should you. Just remember that there is the archetypal equivalent of what you are in the female world just waiting for you to find them. I am a jock/nerd. I like sports but I also love Star Wars. There is a type out there for me, a certain girly geek. I love them and they love me!!
OUTER GAME
To be a great champion you must believe you are the best, and if you're not... pretend - Muhammad Ali
Firstly let me just say that I detest outer game, it is superficial voodoo that works for some guys but not for others. It is impossible without inner game but nevertheless it has its uses. I won't go into too much detail as the site does that enough, but there are some things that I will skim briefly.
Openers. Openers are what you use to begin conversations with girls, usually approaching under their radar. Some people like to use "canned" openers which are pre-prepared. However no two situations are the same so I find it better to improvise and just use what is natural.
Negs. Negs are used to undermine a girls confidence and also to give them the impression that you are not interested. These work especially well with excessively attractive girls. There is a very fine line however between a neg and an insult and between a neg and a compliment. Here's a general guide as to what you want to achieve.
"You're a jerk," BAD. You went too far.
"You're mean!" GOOD, you are a bad guy but in a playful way.
"You're so nice," BAD you are nice and needy. Girls don't want to fuck you.
Distance. This is probably the trickiest point of PUA. You don't want to come on too strong but you also don't want to be a stranger. This is hard for me to explain and is really only learned through experience. I'll tell you a story of a girl I made out with a few weeks ago. In the days after I came on too strong (like a fool I saw myself being with her) and this scared her. I tried to compensate by playing it cool and stepping back, however I went to far and she thought I was ignoring her intentionally. Needless to say it was a train wreck!!
IOIs
These are "Indicators of Interest" basically signs that a girl is into you, this maybe as simple as asking a question or it may be more substantial like touching you or maintaining eye contact. However be wary that you don't over interpret them and create IOIs where they don't exist.
Advanced
Beyond what I have mentioned there is not much more a beginner is expected to know about outer game. There are countless routines and strategies floating around on the internet but they can only be learned through meticulous study and attention to detail. I have never had much faith in these routines, they are to the PUA world what the Vulcan Death Grip is to fighting. Detailed, precise and impressive if done right but you will look like a right tool if you do them wrong.
GENERAL ADVICE
Here are just a few tips I've picked up along the way and couldn't categorize
1. Know when to eject
When you aren't getting anywhere with a girl it is often better for you to simply eject and remove yourself from the situation. That said you don't want to surrender too soon. Know your limit.
2. Be wary of oneitis
Look through the general questions and you will learn that more often than not the answer will be "You got oneitis dude" Oneitis is a disease in which the sufferor believes he has found "The One". I don't believe in that, there is no ONE there are dozens for you. Do not devote your life solely to one girl, especially when the feelings are not reciprocated
3. Fight the war on multiple fronts
This goes hand in hand with oneitis, you should not pin all your hopes on one girl. You need to be fighting a Western, Eastern, Northern and Southern front. I am single and currently chasing 3 separate girls. If I fail with one I have two to fall back on. Of course it goes without saying that when you do bag a girl give up on the others. Don't be bad, Don't cheat.
4. Day Game and Night Game
Know the difference between these, day game is normally more refined and subtle, night game is more crude and sexually charged. Both have their uses and drawbacks. Know your persona for both.
5. Preparation is Key
Before you go out at night make sure you have prepared yourself and psyched yourself up sufficiently. Exercise, drink and listen to music, (I find angrier music like White Stripes, AC/DC and Deadmau5 helps!!)
6. Build a Healthy Relationship with Alcohol
It is more than likely that you will apply most of your now extensive PUA skills at bars and clubs and usually under the influence of alcohol. I'm a native Irishman so I know that alcohol can be a heartless bitch and an absolute stunner, It's in my blood. Do not drink too much but also do not drink too little. Just remember that alcohol is not a mood enhancer, it's a mood enlarger. It will not make you happier, in fact if you were already feeling shitty it will make you feel worse. If you were feeling happy it will make you fell great. If you are prone to anger or depression (which I admit I sometimes am) it is better that you do not drink on your bad days.
7. Do not let setbacks get you down
You are not Hugh Hefner (may his name live always in glory). You are just a dude. You will not succeed every time and at the very beginning you may not succeed at all. Just remember that you are in this for the long run, you will face setbacks but just chock them up to experience and continue on regardless.
Ok! that's me for now. Hope this helps and please leave feedback!
_________________
Now, bring me that horizon!
Last edited by Beast 45 on Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:16 am, edited 6 times in total.
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