I am in a situation with a girl I dated "officially" for 6 months starting 2 years ago. I broke up with her over a fued she started with my brother's ex gf... but that's another story. After the break up we were seeing each other regularly, having sex and going out for another year. Then around summer of 2012 she started talking more about this guy friend she had met on fb just before we started dating. She began to always talk about him when we were out... "ohh he reminds me so much of you." "ohhh he rides a motorcycle", "ohh blah this and that". At first I just let it go in one ear and out the other. I didnt care if she has guy friends, but then I began to notice this was different.

Recently (after she ignored me asking her on a date) she asked me if it would be okay if she dated someone else. She said that maybe the timing wasnt right for us(I was a workaholic and when we broke up I told her I wanted to focus on my career, which I really did) and if it ever is in the future, maybe we'll get back together.

I expressed to her that she should do what ever makes her happy. I told her that I have a friend who I would actually be interested in dating too. This raised a few eye brows on her. lol and she proceeded to pry for info which I was careful not to give out to much. The main point is we did so much together as any BF/GF for 1.5 yrs. I was annoyed over all the time that was apparently just a string along. I made it clear to her that it would be time to move on if thats what she wants to do.

Honestly I'm fine either way, but I feel like we should move on entirely, no more contact...if she wants to date this other guy.


The issue is I think she has turned me into a guy friend and keeps texting me, not as much as she use to, its been a gradual decline in communication, but still is frequent.

Since reading on her fb page a month ago all these posts about this guy, I have decided to completely act differently towards her. I now NEVER initiate contact and I'm short with my texts. She initiates by text usually once or more a week and she still acts flirty with me at times like she wants to be a part of my life.
I begin to get my hopes up over this and think maybe theres a chance we get back together, then I go look at her FB page and see all the lovey dovey and sexual posts about her new BF. WHAT??


I want to point out two recent messages that may still suggest her interest.
(The back story on the first one is my oldest bro has two kids and an ex wife and she's had a new bf for a couple years, yet my bro and them are all really close friends still. IE they live in a house he bought!) So my ex initiated the convo the night before by apologizing for forgetting about wishing me a happy bday which was a week before(and she never forgets dates btw). Then we got off to talking ab other stuff until I didnt recieve a return text. The next day she said - "Sorry. I fell asleep! Lol and I wonder if they'll ever just get back together for Pete's sake. He obviously still cares about her, it cant be easy seeing her with another guy."

During the next couple weeks there was some continual scattered text all initiated by her, basically seeing what I was up to. Then a few days later she initiated asking about my other bro's ex ( the one we broke up over). We talked briefly then I asked - "So hows the dating game going for you?"
No reply to that at all. Lol 2 days later she text me randomly, "Halloween is tomorrow!"


I sense there is something still there, but there is also something stuck between us(that guy). I am not sure how to act upon this. I would like to try and get back with her if the relationship is salvageable.

On the flip side we havent seen each other in months and I asked her out a few weeks ago which she ignored. I would like to move on if things arent going to work out between us. If I decide to go this route and move on with another girl, I would not be comfortable talking to her anymore... its very confusing for the both of us. What should I do just stop replying to all of her texts? That just seems sh1tty to me. I feel like I need to tell her, which I have before.

Thanks and sorry for the long post.

I, like countless others on this forum, have been in the same situation and I can promise that you do not want to get back with this girl. You may disagree right now, but if you had a fully clear frame of mind and had a chance to get over her, you'd look back on your relationship and be glad it's over.

She left you for another guy. I don't care what the circumstances are; that's unacceptable. She's not even worthy of your friendship. The easiest way to get over her is to cut contact completely. Don't reply to her texts, remove her from Facebook, throw away her panties that are still hanging from your ceiling fan, and do anything else you can to ensure she's out of your life.

And honestly, from what you've told us, it really doesn't look like she's that interested in you anymore. At the absolute most, she's trying to keep you on the sidelines to use you as a Plan B if things don't work out with this guy. She is also likely using you to boost her ego knowing fully well that she could get you back at any time. Don't allow yourself to become her bitch like that.

In that situation I'd have been like "Well why don't you give him a call, see if he'd be willing to take you off my hands?" I'd be like "seriously, get your phone out. Call him and ask him out right now. No time like the present".

I don't know if that's the right way to handle but that's how I would just as a way of showing that I 100% didn't care about her anymore. Seriously dude, that is so disrespectful of her. She was with you and she not only left you for another guy but had the nerve to chat to you about it as if she's the centre of the fucking universe and your feelings don't exist!

The desire to salvage this relationship shows low self-esteem on your part and continuing to have contact with her will only feed that self-esteem problem.

I don't believe you can really be mad at this girl. You broke up with her, and then it looks like you two initiated an undefined open relationship: embracing the rewards and not the responsibilities.

I do agree with others that you should cut your losses and move on. She's rubbing this guy's attributes in your face, and you don't have to take that. Don't try and win her back, just get out.

_________________
"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

Two words: No contact.

Seriously, stick to it. Let her play things out with new guy, don't be her fallback.

A few days ago she text me randomly, "Dreamed you got married lol". Then another one today in reference to the elections, "4 more years ". Would these be indications of anything other than friendzone or why does she keep checking in?
I have not replied to either texts. I decided starting a week ago that freezing her out and dropping contact would be best for moving on. I dont want to be anybody's plan B and this has strung along enough.

I'm not a jealous person so I feel maybe I should talk to her one last time and wish her luck with the new dude, Im tempted to feed her a bf destroyer line as well just for kicks. There is a part of me that doesnt want to burn bridges. When they do break up Id like to be able to get a good fuck out of her. For a while we had a bitchin fwb relationship going on with a plethora of wet pussy.

I would like to hear more of what you guys still think is the best way to handle this. My gut feeling tends to agree with going no contact and cut the losses... I want to make sure does this mean no contact with her ever again? It's harder to resist when she keeps texting.

I'm ready for this to be over though. The mind fucking has been a wake up call.

I have to admit this is the very first dating relationship I've ever been in. I am relieved to move on and continue exploring other girls, improving my game and various aspects of life.

Why waste time with this bullshid?!