Been dating a hot girl for a over a month, going really well, cool exciting dates, all the interest signs are there, we have slept together a few times, and she contacts me daily.

Both busy so failed to meet up the past week.

She arranges to take me out on a date where she is from in London Thursday, about an hour away from our current city. She calls me Tuesday late at night drunk misconstruing my no contact that day and not responding to the mid-day text message she sent me as ignoring her, but I had a really busy day, so my phone was offline. I explain and everything is ok, she asks me to go and see her that night but in the end we decided to save it for the following day (Wednesday), she also tells me to make sure I don’t bail out on her taking me to London as its arranged, and of course assured her I wouldn’t.

Wednesday I receive a jokey message, to which I respond and say I will call her later that day to let her know if I can spend time with her that evening. I call her she seems excited but has a hangover. I say I can see her that night but she says she is in a bad mood so she will see me tomorrow (as in the evening in London).

As a surprise I arrange somewhere to stay in London and send the details she ignores my message. Thursday lunchtime I call her to discuss London etc, she ignores my call and texts me that she cant make it and something has happened back home and will try be in contact that evening when its been fixed. I messaged back telling her not to worry.

I haven’t heard from her since. I do not know if it is a genuine reason or an excuse. She was offline all day but back on facebook for the rest of the weekend, seemingly normal. I think it may be an excuse because she did not return my call and instead messaged me to cancel, not even apologising or acknowledging the fact that I surprised her with booking somewhere to stay.


I can’t ask her if everything is ok, as I don’t now what the situation is and if there even is one. Decided not to contact her as she left the ball in her court to call me. If I do, feel I'l be setting the wrong tone if she does get back in touch and we were continue dating, whereby she feels she can cancel on me and still have me there. The fact it has been 3 days makes and her facebook normality (except on Thursday) makes it seem even more like she has flaked.

A few side points, I have demonstrated value, pre selection etc. She might think I am a player as she has said to others and as she has asked me in past if I am dating others, to which I said no. She openly tells me when guys message her on fb (never asked for this) etc, and even contacts me on her nights out, usually opens up when she has had a drink. All the signs to suggest she is really interested.

Surprised how the dynamics of interest can change so fast, from consistent contact usually on her initiation, fun dates, to completely no contact. If there was problem back home why not explain. Never saw it coming, as she was so eager the day before she flaked.

I am right not to contact, is she likely to get in touch with me.

What do you guys think? Would be great to get you're help and opinions on the situation.

E

Any help would be so appreciated!!!

WHy wouldn't you want to contact her? I get she flaked but she gave a reason and BEFORE it happened as well.

No contact = no attraction being built.

Just send her a reopener but DO NOT:

A) Moan about the date not happening.
B) Even state that you give a shit about the date not happening.

if she brings the date up/apologises for it ALWAYS:

A) Make out that its not a big deal.
B) Make out that you had a fantastic day.
C) Make out that shes the one that missed out e.g. "Hey its cool, my friend gave me a call me and her went out bowling and shit, was good."

Also in the future don't take flakers to heart. Girls live very different life's to guys, they are a lot more sociable compared to guys. Guys will go around each others houses, drink, play fifa, crack some jokes and such. Women will sit around and bitch all day. Heres how flakers have conversations with their friends.

Flaker: "omg ladies, met this guy the other week, well cute but I cancelled on him friday and he got all pissy at me"

Her friends: "omg what a loser, dump that loner"

If you play it cool/indifferent:

Flaker: "omg ladies, met this guy the other week. We had a date planned but I had to cancel on him."

Her friends: "omg bet he got all spaccy about that"

Flaker: "Nah he was actually pretty cool about it made me feel quite comfortable with him....wonder what he was up to"

Flakers love it when guys get all spaccy because it gives them attention over whatever else that guy is doing that day. However if you make yourself out to be busy then the worst that can happen is that she will smile. The best is that she will try to grab your attention by having sex with you.

A recent example, girl said she wanted to come over (ive fucked her before, it was obvious another sex time) but I got home from a mates house at 11:30pm. Rang her:

Me: Hey come over in half an hour. // instant, no attention really given.
Her: hmmm it's really cold outside now and my legs hurt. // flaking.
Me: Awwwhh you being lazy? oh well I'l be able to find something else to do. // negged her for daring to flake on me then DHV myself.
Her: Nono il come over just give me a bit. // instant switch around.
Me: Are you sure? theres plenty else I be doing if you wanna sleep. // DHV again.
Her: nonono il come over, cya in a bit. // pussy wants it.
Me: Okay gorgeous, cya soon. // reward for complying.

Fucking banged the shit out of her that night.

Thanks BITmixit, really good advice.

I was thinking no contact because she ignored the room booking I made even though she read my message (a picture of the reference) and was online after, so it me think the excuse wasn't legit. And the fact she knows I spent money on the room (which totally isn't her fault) I would have appreciated a call rather than text any time over the weekend, because on tuesday night she told me not bail on her as she's arranged everything in london thursday.

I will reopen, would you call her or just message and keep it more casual. Shall I ask if everything was ok with the issue she had back home (depending on if there really was one)?

As she knows I had room, if asks might have to say I went to london anyway/ or cancelled!

E

also just found out her clingy ex is trying get back with her, basically one of is best friends is matey with one of my best friends and has rang my mate out the blue and brought it up during the conversation, sounds a bit pre-planned by the ex to be honest but it has definitely complicated the situation a bit.

Would you still open her again or just leave it.