Met a girl from class. We sit next to each other every day. I tried to meet up with her to hang out and got the 24hr late response. So I backed off, knowing that she had a bf. But since then we have grown to closer to each other. She's always asking IOIs and teasing back and forth.

The other day she saw me studying and sent

Her: "I see you"
Me: "creeper status"
Her: Hahahaha

I look up and see her waving and smiling as her bf is sitting RIGHT next to her. So I got up and left. 2 hours later I see her in class and the first thing she asks me...

Her: "when you were with your last gf did you get mad at her because she wouldn't let you go through her texts/ or did you ever want to go through her emails?"
Me: No, I never asked. Why would I care about who she talks to?
Her: "Cause my bf is getting mad at me cause I wont let him go through my texts" "and I do have other guys that im friends with and talk to"

And after that conversation she asked me twice what I was doing after class (we have a night class and it was Halloween night) but she had to go home and study for an exam. I told her I was going to a club. But I could tell in her eyes and body language she is falling for me. A couple times she lost her train of thought as I looked deep in her eyes. Also saying she hasn't been hiking in a long time (something we have in common).

I text her for the first time the same day this all went down. I have not text since she gave me that 24hr response. I'm just always DHV and act cool when I see her in class.

I really like this girl and I don't want to overplay this. I'm sure i'm at fault for their argument. I know she is becoming more interested in me.

How would you handle this situation? What would be the right move or moves to not drown my chances if they were to ever break up?

if in school with this girl, would back off completely, start withdrawing attention without killing interest, keep us on a really good emotional high level, start socializing less, have her like you but just cut her off without burning the bridge to get at her when she is single, to avoid being friend zoned

if she wasn't involved in a social circle (such as school), where I had no connection to her in the day to day, just isolate and try to sleep with her

your post gives me the impression that you have kept the frame social, and have just been flirting with rapport breaks and innuendos and telling dhv stories etc., without actually escalating or seriously qualifying her

at some point rejection has to be risked, there is no way to sneakily fuck her behind her boyfriends back, she has to be interested in cheating, if you are doing mystery method, you have to step off the addiction to A2 that most guys develope, A3 and escalation is more important towards getting you laid, A2 with repetition will get you friend zoned, she will want to socialize with you and get your attention because you are soo cool, but it will not translate into she wants your penis inside her, you have to give her a reason to rationalize why it's a good idea to sleep with you, and make her feel horny around you after she ''likes you'' and if you are getting the attention from a2, then she ''likes you'' and it's time to stop trying to further this end and turn ''likes you'' into, thinks about sex with you, you have to move forward, the dick has to leave the pants at some point, this is where escalation comes in, and if you are escalating on her while she has a boyfriend, good chance she will put on the breaks, unless she is ok with cheating

in the future you might be better off either

1) escalating faster to see where it goes and dis-qualifying her having a boyfriend as an issue so you don't waste your time, and either get laid or rejected much sooner (don't worry about the rejection either, when that girl is single, you never know, she might remember that cute guy that tried to get with her when she had a boyfriend)

or

2) building value with taken girls only to become less available, and when they are single pop out of the woodwork, isolate and escalate

How do I keep her on a good emotional high level but at the same time socialize less?

Also, how would I go about "qualifying her"? Give it another try and ask her to come do something with me?

It sounds like she's into you, but it also sounds like she collects guys. I think she's the type of girl that will initially chase, then when the guy comes off as needy and fucks it up, she friend zones them and feeds her ego by all the texts and calls she recieves.

escalate.

make your move.

you don't say anything rude/weird, you just want to have her assosiate good feelings towards you, she doesn't have to think about you 24/7 or be on an emotional high 24/7, just when she thinks about you, you want it to be, where's surfzone lately, I like that guy

and socialize less speaks for it's self, just because you reduce contact with someone doesn't mean they will start to think less of you for it, you want to not kill your impression, but reduce your contact
qualifying a girl is letting her know she posses a quality, if she is qualifying for you she is showing you she posses qualities you like, you want to qualify her aka let her know that she is qualified

so really this is up to your own discression and takes practise, you have to figure out how this personally works for you, and what it is you want in a girl so that you can properly qualify, there are so many levels to qualification it's not funny

qualifier = question or statement that baits a girl into revealing a quality about herself

qualify = the act of letting someone know they possess a quality

and this ranges all the way from qualifying a girl on looking classy, all the way into sexual qualification, telling a girl wow she's awesome cause she gives good head

I like you = qualify her to your approval
you're cute = qualify her for being cute
you're a really smart girl, you know that? = qualify her for being smart
etc. etc., it goes on and on

and if you are using qualifiers, you want to reward a girl with positive attention for seeking your approval and qualifying herself to you

Thank you pumpington for making this all clear! you've really helped me understand it all by breaking it down.

I guess I have already been doing all this. Just that I didnt know it haha.

I've come off as needy in the past and it has totally back fired on me. Although it does beat me up inside cause I get really anxious and all those crazy feelings. When I texted her about a month ago to go do something with me...I took it as a sign and just stopped with the texts i.e making my contact less and played it cool when I did see her in class. Casually asking her how her weekend was and so forth. giving HER subtle IOIs. Now its like the other way around I feel. She's the one asking IOIs.

I was thinking now that she has an interest (for the first time) in what im doing after class or for the weekend. And hinting that she has not gone on a hike in awhile, that she wants me to ask her to go do that.

I was wondering if this is the point where I escalate? But at the same time I dont want to rush into it (being needy) and scare her away.

I've also been told that women will stay with a guy until they find someone better. And will continue to stay with their man until their other attraction fully commits.

being needy, and wanting something are different,

the opposite of needing something is being indifferent towards getting it, you can pretty much escalate on a girl right after meeting her, it is up to your discression and what the situation is, as well as how receptive she is to the escalation

this is the part that makes you needy, you have to meet more women on a regular basis, and invest yourself less into the idea of getting a specific girl, just go for getting laid instead of getting ''girls xyz'' that you really really like cause you've been talking for XYZ time and she is sooo perfect and she's different from all the other girls.... oneitis etc., avoid this, you want to keep them at an emotional distance until they give you a real reason to attach, and when that reason is there, give it everything you got, up until then, you just want to bring as much value as if you care, without actually getting emotionally involved and caring for real, this makes it easier to escalate (cause you don't care as much if you fail), this makes it easier to cut ties if she is being too difficult (cause you don't care as much), this also makes it easier to make descisions that bring more value for the both of you (cause you don't care as much and will be thinking clearly with a focus on her, instead of a needy focus on you, and how you can get what you need) that's just a generalization and is not nessicarily a fact of life or anything, every girl is different

some girls will cheat on their guys and never break up, some will never break up unless the guy does it and won't cheat cause they ''love'' him, some will break up at the drop of a hat just cause someone better came along, some care if the guy fully commits, others just care that there is reciprocation of interest, really it depends on the person, there is not really any universal absolute truth when dealing with people and what they are like, just generalizations, and really the same can be said about guys, they go for one girl until something better comes along... same thing, just a generalization

This is very true. I think it all depends on whether the girl is the "Tarzan" type, hooking onto the next potential partner before leaving the current one. The girls that feel comfortable with being single usually don't do that, that is, they don't readily jump into the next exclusive relationship. As far as cheating goes, there really are no rules. I used to think that people are cheaters or they just aren't, but one person can cheat on one partner and not cheat on another partner, it really depends. As people get older they're more prone to cheating because the ideals about love are replaced with a more realistic picture and people seem more cautious about committing to a relationship.

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

Thanks for the replies. Now that I have the tools and knowledge...I need to apply it. I see her tomorrow and am nervous about how she is going to act towards the situation last week. I see it as, she will realize that texting me in front of her bf was wrong and will act less interested in me and a bit less social, or feel that she no longer wants to be in a relationship and will invest more attention towards me to see where that will lead.

Either way I think what you have taught me is to just not care as much. I am very social in our lab that we also have together for the same class. I talk to all the girls and guys. I know she sees that quality in me. Ive learned over the years that "they are just people". The social anxiety that I used to have is much less of a force against me than it once used to be.

I'll get back to this post and give an update on where the situation goes.