Suggestions for this girl?



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2012 12:30 am 
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Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 12:11 am
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I've been browsing for a while, but decided I wanted some advice for this situation, and thus just now registered.

Background; I'm, to be completely honest and open, a good-looking guy, very intelligent, witty, confident, great career prospects. I'm 21 years old, so on the young side, currently attending university. I also just got out of a long, serious relationship with a girl that lasted ~2.5 years. That ended as she came out with schizophrenia (if you know anything about it, it typically onsets during the early 20's), and it tore apart our relationship.

Current situation: I met a girl in one of my classes, shy girl, probably an 8, 8.5 on society's scale, but a solid 10 in my book. Extremely intelligent, fun girl, bit quiet and reserved though. Dated her a few times, she told me she was talking to somebody. I said no sweat, said let's be friends, moved on.

Later, she started hitting on me. I let her chase me, I'm still interested in her, and she gradually got more and more into it, and got a bit more direct. This is approximately ~2 months from meeting her initially. Got together with her last tuesday, had a fantastic time, ended with a movie and solid make-out session.

She distanced herself a bit, and then today, after hanging out for a while, I got a confession; she's talking to an ex-boyfriend, he's an ex as her family doesn't like him. I'm not all aware of the situation, but I'm ~95% sure it's also long distance. She said she still has a lot of feelings, and still talks with him regularly, and it doesn't feel right to her.

Is there anything here for me? She's solid relationship material - she meets pretty much every single one of my criteria (except possibly her family's political views, but I can slide on one or two things), so I'm a bit hesitant to just drop and walk away. She matches in her personality, physical appearance, attitude, general views on life, goals in life, pretty much the set.

Is there anything to do here to give this a shot, or would it be advisable to just walk away and look for someone else? I'm not looking for a FWB-type thing, either. She definitely likes me; but the rest of this shut it down a bit. This happened just this evening, my current plan of action is just to cool it, not talk to her for now. I also have classes 4 days a week with her, at least till the end of the semester.

Thanks for the read.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2012 5:11 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 16, 2011 1:43 am
Posts: 82
whats so wrong with just asking her out? It takes less than 5 minutes and gives you an answer to your questions and lets you move on with your life (with or without her)


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2012 6:11 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 2:06 pm
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Location: Toronto
If you are interested you need to make the move, looks like she is waiting for you to tell her that you want to be with her. People always hold on and have a hard time letting go when they have nothing else to move onto. You already crossed the friendship line with her so what do you have to lose ?


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:03 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 12:11 am
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I pulled a bit of damage control when she got in touch, as with her confession I had given a bit of the impression that I'd be unlikely to give her a second chance (which is wrong, I would).

Essentially just told her that I'd want to be with her, she's an interesting girl, to let me know when she gets over him and we can see where things lie then. Just going to play it cool. Hardest thing will be classes; it's hard to keep it cool, not contact her, when we have classes together 4 times a week, and 3 classes a week we're sitting next to each other.

Guess the end situation is just seeing how long it takes her to get over it, and if I'm still available then. End-run is that I've played my game right up to here, and if it goes south, it's not anything I could've done better. As far as that goes, have to see if she's willing to let go of the other guy, I've made my move.


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