My social life at the moment isn't much very social, so are there any good resources or articles on how to go about making friends or befriending someone? Especially female friends...

Seriously easier to make guy friends "commonality" and then befriend the guys female friends through social interactions. Building a social circle is not a quick process so don't be overly eager to be their friend, just let it happen by being fun and outgoing.

Girls where you work or go to school are easy to befriend as well IMO, but you have to actually "talk" to them! Good luck to you.


Peace...

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Crypto...
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All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

I understand it isn't a overnight process, but what are the ways one establishes friendships?

Extend yourself. Be generous. Be outgoing and friendly and initiate the interactions with people you want tobe your friends. You have to put yourself out there and do nice things for people, otherwise they'll be more than content to let you pass by them without noticing.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Heres something that might be a bit obvious but talk to strangers! I tend not to plan how my week is going to go or what I am doing for the weekend. It gives life more spontanaity and gives you a greater freedom of what YOU want to do

I do talk to strangers and can hold a conversation with them. Trouble is, it is just one conversations. Not what you might consider "befriending" them

Thanks for your advice though. To rephrase my question, how do you befriend someone you meet on a day to basis?

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Interesting question, and certainly a lot harder once you're out of school/college/university. If you're in a university, you've got endless supplies of friends - make a couple of new friends in your course (should be easy, as you'll have seminars with them or whatever), go to parties, and you'll soon make more friends simply by being at the same parties more often. Then those new friends-of-friends will start to invite you to their parties and you'll begin to make friends-of-friends-of-friends etc. etc.

However, when you're out of uni, it does seem slightly harder to meet new people. Of course you've got work people, but I imagine a lot of people work with either much older or younger people who they don't have much in common with, or people they don't actually like, so there might only be limited opportunity to network.

I suppose going to a class or something similar where you're meeting people regularly every week is a way to make friends.

The more you see people, the easier it is to make friends - a friendship is all about having a connection, and if you can laugh and joke about something that happened last time you met then you've started that connection already. At first this could be a bit awkward, as you may not have those past stories to fall back on, but this is where you can use a few pick up/social skills and try to make some sort of a connection. Make the connection, make the friends and then make sure to keep doing things with them. Invite them to a party or for drinks. Then a couple of weeks later go out for coffee after your evening class. And then they might invite you to a party etc. etc. The more time you spend with them, the more you'll become friends, and the more you'll get absorbed into their friendship group. If you get absorbed into their friendship group, then you're going to start making friends with their friends, and then friends with those friends' friends etc. etc.

Are you in any groups or society's?

Thanks guys. some good responses here especially from 7000.

The question I suppose to rephrase would be is their a formula or a process for making close friends and friends in general etc?

I don't think there is a formula. But the thing is, everyone does make a friend don't they? When someone is their true natural self, they do make friends. It's when someone is shy that they don't, or when they don't get along. Which leads me to believe that we have a natural instinct to make friends (there may well be some science behind this in terms of our evolution and being group orientated when we were cavemen or something like that, I don't know). So if we've all got this natural instinct/desire to make friends, then it makes sense that we've probably already got a lot of the skills hardwired in to us, it's just that for whatever reason a lot of us seem a bit hesitant to let them come out with strangers.

Now even when you're not shy, you might still be a bit reserved - most people are - when they aren't with friends. This then means that they never become really close to new people (or it takes them a long time and a lot of trust to become close to them) and so don't make new friends very often, or at least not very quickly.

If you can be more open and more talkative, then you can start to get close to people sooner. This then means you make friends with them sooner - or you figure out that you're not compatible, and don't spend weeks getting to know them only to realise you don't like them.

There's no fast and easy formula. You've just got to try and be yourself and get as much practice at being as open and talkative as you can. (By open I don't mean you just need to talk about yourself non stop, but I mean you need to not be reserved and "shy" in any way.)

Hey! I just moved to a new city too and even though I've been sarging alone I had the same issue. Here's what I did...

1) Start going to the same bar regularly and familiarize yourself. When they're comfortable they'll be more open. But you also have to be open. Smile and talk with confidence. Open up to people!

B) Last weekend there was a football game. I went out and got a team shirt (creates comfort), went to a new bar and found a group with guys and girls. Went up to them and said "Hey! I bet you guys have the best time during games! I'm Machiavellian [hand shake]( preferably your target(2 birds...1 stone)) and I'm new in town and was wondering if I could join you guys for the game" make sure when you say it you're comfortable in your own skin. Radiate the vibe that its normal for you to meet new people. They were so open I had a great time. Listen and learn to talk about what they want to talk about. Make then feel important. And be yourself!

7) Join a community. Sport clubs, volunteer, take a class, be open and smile so people know you're friendly before you even speak!

*) Befriend an AFC and mold him into your perfect wing. (This one sucks and takes forever)

There are no steps, bud. If you really want this you'll just have to get out of your comfort zone (since most people won't) and put yourself out there with a friendly vibe. Have fun with it! These are your friends. If you find people who make you feel weird by being yourself, then these are not people you want to be with regularly. So many people out there! If you have excuses it's because you created them for yourself. Don't set yourself up for failure.

Cheers for the responses guys. I should mention I'm only doing this within the context of having a social life rather than looking for "targets" now. More responses welcome

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