How can my douche bag attitude work towards me?



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 5:37 pm 
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Hey, total noob here. Basically im a real douche bag and I know it. I have a selfless attitude. I dont want to change myself completely but I just want my personality to work for me.

I was a photographer at this halloween event. I made some new friends, flirted with a lot of girls for the first time, and got about a dozen numbers. I know a lot of them gave me their number just to get copies of the photos. I made sure to make a lasting impression so they remember me. I was fucking around with them saying "im not that type of guy. I dont give out my number just to anybody." They laugh, we flirted, and they got me drinks. I really fucked up by giving out my number to some of them and not getting theirs. I met a ton of people over the last two days (40+) and at one point a group of pirate girls I just met were cheering my name in the hallway. Best feeling of the night. Now I carried that attitude with me all night and made a lot of corny jokes that a lot of them laughed at. Went tsunami kino on all my targets but not to the point of creeping them out. I noticed this by the way they look at other guys who tried to flirt with them and they way they look at me.

Problem is I'm a total douche bag. I texted some of them about 17-24 hours later making some interesting texts that I thought at that time was funny such as, "You totally got my number but I only allow dorks to call me once per day," and "Wow you must feel so lucky. You got a famous person's phone number but I completely forgot to save your name in my contacts." I know, my mistake. They laughed a little. One of them blew me off by saying, "It's ok. I just want the photos that you took from yesterday." I told her that I almost forgot that she was the demanding one. She replied by saying that she just wanted the photos but if I was going to be difficult by doing it then shes ok. i told her to be east (I meant to say easy) and she'll get it. She said she'll go west.

Havent talked to her ever since and 2 other girls had the same result. Only one of them was really playful enough to play along with it and now we're cool. My question is what am I doing wrong and how can I escalade something like this into a positive outcome?


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 7:36 pm 
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You are farting in somewhat the right direction but your calibration is horrible. The best course is to just keep working through your mistakes and experiment with different things and don't repeat the same dumb mistakes over and over. The game is skill + numbers aka Game + logistics aka accuracy + repetition so you need to work on both ends.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 7:50 pm 
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I love it when they give you rock solid IOD's like that. I just keep fucking with them, especially if I have something to hold over their heads, like photographs or something they want or need from me. Don't get me wrong, you played this all wrong so I expect them to react that way. But you have to punish girls whenever they make it clear that they aren't playing nice.

You telegraphed too much interest first off. And you came across as too cocky and arrogant without building any rapport. You were also viewed by them as "The Entertainment" which girls don't look at as a potentional sex partner, but rather a whimsical little talking monkey that can smoke cigarettes and play a miniature tambourine. You were there for their drunken amusement, nothing more.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 11:17 pm 
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Quote:
I love it when they give you rock solid IOD's like that. I just keep fucking with them, especially if I have something to hold over their heads, like photographs or something they want or need from me. Don't get me wrong, you played this all wrong so I expect them to react that way. But you have to punish girls whenever they make it clear that they aren't playing nice.

You telegraphed too much interest first off. And you came across as too cocky and arrogant without building any rapport. You were also viewed by them as "The Entertainment" which girls don't look at as a potentional sex partner, but rather a whimsical little talking monkey that can smoke cigarettes and play a miniature tambourine. You were there for their drunken amusement, nothing more.
Real talk. Thanks a lot.

I got two other girls talking to me right now. I dont think I can change myself but only smooth out the edges. I played a little nicer but im still a little arrogant, it's just the way I grew up. One of them has a brother and has the same name as me so I told her to call me Legend from now on. She laughs and we're cool. The other one thought I had forgotten about her because I was so busy and was "working" all night. I told her there's no way I could forget about her and gave her a memory we did together. And yes, I did built rapport with this one unlike the other girl who threw me off the bridge.

Like I said im a real noob and this was the first night I ever went out and tried to get girls. Im expecting more calls/texts/emails from other girls. Some I didn't build enough rapport. Is it safe to say that I should just give them the damn photos and I'll just be wasting my time if I do try to move forward?

And yes, I agree with you. The extreme IOD was a real turn on for me. I didn't have anything to say back so I didn't text back. My lost.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 2:22 am 
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I am a natural narcissist and come across as arrogant myself. The more you interact with people, the more feedback you will receive and then you can use it to calibrate. Socializing is a skill and I recommend you keep doing what you are doing and focusing on what does NOT work and what DOES work and repeat and rinse.


You a long journey ahead but this is all about becoming a better person overall. Don't beat yourself too much, not everyone gets it right the first time. At least you are self-aware, now just take steps to the solution.


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