Right im a 20 year old student in my last year, i am a decent looking guy work out most days, im 5'8 and wear glasses with a good sense of style but i have zero confidence in myself when everyone says i should be confident, when i do meet a girl that i like and likes me i tend to become to attached and usually get messed around because im a nice guy and think that i do correct things like be nice and everything but i get treated as a total mug and i am sick of it so i have decided that enough is enough i am ready to change myself because i am sick of how i am these days. any help would be awesome, thanks guys!

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i.owen

Read up on inner game stuff. Your life will change forever.

thanks, where can i find that?

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i.owen

I can recognise myself in your post. Probably other guys here too.

So start taking actions. Read materials written by gurus, to change your mindset.
Start going out regularly, day and night. Interact with people. Overcome your fears. Get out of your "comfort zone".

I warn you, it is not going to be easy. It will take time and effort. But go for it, no matter what it takes. The reward will be worth it.

Hey man,

Inner game/confidence is really hard to get a handle on, I've struggled with it for a long time and still do as a matter of fact. I would start by reading everything you can get your hands on, a good place to start is the "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Most of it isn't about inner game but its an incredibly compelling and entertaining read, I promise you wont be able to put it down. Once you start to read a good number of books you'll realize, that everything comes down to framing and how YOU let things make you feel. My advice though, in the mean time... FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT! always walk straight up with your shoulders back, and the slightest trace of a grin on your face. 99% of the time people are too busy worrying about themselves to notice you but when they do you want them to at least see a confident exterior. People also have the unfortunate tendency to fill in the blanks, even when drawing these conclusions is completely idiotic. For instance, when they see someone sad and depressed, they think (consciously or unconsciously) the rest of that kids life must be shit... Or think about why when we see a really wealthy person our knee jerk reaction is to assume they have a great life, even though thats probably totally untrue.. As long as your aware of this little human glitch you can use it too your advantage.

Best of luck man, I know you can get a handle on it if you keep trying


PS

This should be obvious but I feel obligated to mention it. Reading can only take you so far, make sure your getting out there too once you've got a feel for things

Self help books is like reading a book written by another to be yourself. People don't have the willpower to pursue their goals and live Epically. They dream and prefer to fantasize rather than living up to their ideals. That is why there will always be leaders and followers, masters and slaves. Only 1% of the persons on earth actually have the guts to give a 100% of their time, energy, blood sweat and tears into their work. The rest of them fantasize and fail to act once the moment arises to forge fortune.

go to rsdnation.com

read some eckhart tolle

If you want to change, in relation to woman, reading is good, going out and talking to girls is bettter. You sound like a nice guy, and you feel you lack the confidence to get the results you need, for the quickest confidence boost, do something you love E.G play football, poker, go running whatever floats your boat. After a good session of x, shower, and go out as soon as you can, and use the confidence you have from doing x, to help you talk to people, during this time, try and be cocky and a bit of a dick, the information you get from that should help you.

Have a good one.

thanks guys! appreciate that your will to help

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i.owen

I'm awesome.

Say that in front of the mirror a couple times a day. With that in mind, what does an awesome guy like you do on a daily basis? Who cares, just do what you like to do because it's awesome. Read a book, awesome. Go buy groceries, awesome.

For reals, I was like you just a year ago. I was 20 at the time, no self-confident which led to no self-respect. This is the type of guy women love to talk to because they know they can just walk all over you. Even if a girl initially likes you, your needyness will show and she'll hop to man. She doesn't need a boy like you.

I had never had a girlfriend at that point, nor had I even had my first kiss. Nowadays, I kiss women on a daily basis more times than I jerk off. I've been through my first relationship and no longer a virgin.

In retrospect, the more you want something, the farther it gets from you. By showing that you have self-respect proves you don't care (not because you really don't care but because you're so awesome that you have so many other opportunities) draws women to you.

This is true in societies of scarcity only. Because in societies of scarcity, women will be drawn to men that possess qualities such as strength, knowledge, hunting skills, leadership ability: basically everything that one needs to make live a bit more comfortable and increase survival opportunities.

Today, we live in an era of sex-equality, which means that women are actually blown off by traits like these. That is what pickup theorists don't like to accept yet it is the obvious truth. Women nowadays go for dweebs that they can control and manipulate, that will slave for them. They feel competitive with their boyfriends and as such can't handle a man next to her who is smarter than she is, who knows more about the world, and is more ambitious. As a result, when you are smart, you are continuously holding back, and you think: "Woman, what you are saying right now is utter crap. But okay let's play it cool and I will get to lay you. Else you will get catty if I tell you the truth." They have mood swings over anything. They get moody and you are like: "Dear, it is not what I intended at all. Please don't take things so harshly, no need to go to extremes. Just know that I care very much about you and would never want you to suffer on purpose." And meanwhile you think: "I'll do you tonight for one last time and tomorrow I'm out of here."

Girls nowadays basically go for bluff without content. Basically the type of guy you see in the fashion. Men are even starting to use facial cream, shaving off their chest hair, wearing their underwear all the way down their ass. All signs of a dying civilization infected by feminism. Think 200 years back: Western world was at the peak of its power, the girls were feminine and the men were intelligent, intellectual, resolute and serious in life. They were people like Jung, Newton, De Tocqueville. Men with manners, discipline and character who believed in shaping their visions into the reality of tomorrow. Nowadays guys behave like a bunch of Peter pan's, gangstah rappers and fags, hopping from girl to a girl, afraid that they are of commitment.

Back then, men could tell pride from narcisism, women could giggle and blush. Today, girls don't look into the world with an open look of wonder, but with a jagged, hurried gaze. Men and women knew their roles and each had their place, and as a result no woman would feel the glory of her man detract from hers. Today, the competition between the sexes is present everywhere, and women are already so competitive. They always gossip behind each other's backs, and get jealous of petty things like clothing and make-up. As a result they are rarely satisfied with their life, and this resentment will tear up any relationship given time.

All of this is the truth, and nothing but the truth. Take it from me. I have a bunch of Masters in history, philosophy. I'm a politician and travelled the world, had girlfriends pretty much everywhere, from Brazil to Canada, Germany, France and Taiwan.