It is said that core of the process of picking-up a girl is to demonstrate your high value(Is it correct?), should I praise a girl? Because I feel if I praise a girl, it doesn't demonstrate my high value, quite on the contrary, she may feel superior to me and thinks she has a higher value. How to reconcile? For example, I go to a shopping mall, there are shopping assistants. I notice one female shopping assistant is beautiful and I would like to get her, what can I say to her? How should I behave? Should I say to her, "Oh, you are beautiful, charming,..."? Should I express or exhibit my interest in her? But I have one concern. If I express or exhibit my interest in her, does it lower my value in her eyes? I'm just a novice. Please help. Thank you.

it depends on how secure you are in the belief that you are worthy of the girl you are talking to,

a compliment can come from a sincere place, where the frame is you are giving approval, or the compliment can come from an insincere place where you are seeking approval from her and giving her the compliment in the hopes to win her over to get something from her (her approval)

if she feels superior to you or not is not the point, it is why you are complimenting her, if you do not believe she is superior to you, then what does it really matter what she thinks, unless that is, you NEED to bang her, and it is life and death for you, in that case it can be argued that you care too much
just stop thinking about this so much, 1st off, what is your objective here to lead to? what do you want in a girl? what do you want in a relationship? does she fit in with that? how can you logistically make that happen? is she open and available to all this?

what's the objective here?, what is the point you are trying to get accross to her?

a good place to start is some honesty and genuine interest in who she is as a person, find out some things about her and have a conversation, then descide what you want and make it happen

why are you considering giving a compliment in the first place? does it serve a purpose for you?

she either comes a long for the ride, or she doesn't, no point in stressing over some arbitrary reaction that has not happened yet, consider what happened after it happened and how you can improve on that, but you can not predict the future and you shouldn't try to read a girls mind, just pay attention to her at the time without worrying about what will happen and that should be good enough

First of all, I thank your time and your reply.
Well, I personally think I'm worthy of the girl I talk to you. But I don't know how she thinks about it since people don't always think as we think. Of course if I say "You're beautiful, charming, attractive", my compliment is sincere, otherwise I wouldn't go to talk to her. As for whether I am seeking approval from her, I think it is half and half. First of all, the compliment certainly comes from a sincere place, in the meantime, I do expect that she thinks of me favorably after receiving my compliment.

In the bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People , Dale Carnegie teaches us to lavish in our praise. Before reading the book, I rarely praised people. After reading the book and other self-help books, I gradually got used to praising people. I don't NEED to bang her, I mean I'm all OK if I don't get her, but it will be good if I get her.


I want intimacy,sexual gratification or relationship. I don't know what it will lead to in the end. I don't know if she is open and available until I get to know her.

if you think you're attractive enough to sleep with this girl, what more do you need? go see if you can make that happen,

who cares what she thinks about it, without actually meeting her, you will never know how she responds to you, gotta go 1st and see what she is like, she is either available to you, or she is not available to you

and a girl who is not available now, might be available later, no point in really stressing over which it is, and if she is not interested, then really what difference does it make what ''approach'' you make, just make an approach and see what she is like, you don't have to sleep with her or anything, but if that is your purpose towards this interaction, might as well move in that direction
that's the spirit, indifference until you have a real reason to care, try to meet many girls, not THE ONE girl,
so why do you want intimacy, sexual gratification or a relationship?
what are you looking for specifically, and why?

you have to get to know her to see if she is open and available, yes that's true, you also have to try to have sex with her to see if she will have sex with you, that's how leading works, you go first, she either follows the lead or doesn't, then you can either try to find the problem and overcome it, or you can give up, really depends on the situation and your mind frame at that point in time

compliance tells you everything that you would need to know, the more appealing it is for her with the less amount of risk, the more likely she will find what ever your objective is, as appealing

if you want to have sex and sex only, some girls will want that same thing, if you want to go on dates, some girls will want that same thing, if you want intimacy, some girls will want that same thing, if you want trust connection and genuine relationship between you and another person, some girls will want that same thing, but you have to figure out what you want, and be clear about it, you will attract like minded individuals based on your frame, if you are indecisive lacking confidence and direction, it will be hard for you to lead, and to lead you have to know where you want this to go

it's like driving a taxi, you don't need to end up at your final destination with a specific passenger, but you should know where you are driving, and you should know that your passenger is acceptable to be on a ride with you, if she wants to get out of the car, that's cool, you can pick her up later if she is re-considering going on a car ride to that destination again, but you still should know the way and how to drive her there, not knowing how to get her there will just frustrate her and she will want out of the cab to find a new cabbie who knows wtf he's doing

it doesn't really matter what she wants, it matters what you want, and if she suits that, and if she does, then it's just a process of driving the car and making that a smooth ride for her, so it's an easy choice for her to go a long for the ride and reach the destination

Heres my thought process. I give out compliments because

1) Im higher value than other people and my compliment is always personal and sincere

2) Usually if someone recieves a compliment the least they can do is be happy they got the compliment. If they dont appreciate it I move on because they are too dumb to just accept a compliment

Find something the woman is insecure about, perhaps its a sense of lack from within and praise it. She'll be butter in your hands.

If you compliment someone on something they already know they're good at, they will feel above your compliment, almost as though it were patronizing and you will lose points.

Also, find something you know she's put effort into (such as her hair or nails, outfit etc...), and give her a soft compliment on it acknowledging that effort.

Compliments do not infer that another person is of higher value than you unless you praise excessively, or you're projecting a feeling of lower value int he manner in which you say or do things.

Does Cold read read a girl's mind?

just stop thinking about this so much, 1st off, what is your objective here to lead to? what do you want in a girl? what do you want in a relationship? does she fit in with that? how can you logistically make that happen? is she open and available to all this?

nah, cold reading is just making assumptions based on a reactions, usually there is a formula involved in the type of read, but realistically it has really nothing to do with reading a mind and more to do with paying attention

for exmaple you see a girl all sweaty and she is wearing yoga pants, and say, ''you know what, you seem like a dancer, you're not a dancer are you?''

you can even bullshit, most of the time if you assosiate a positive quality to a girl that she wants to rationalize she posseses she will agree, especially if you generalize the comment and pay attention to her body language you can tell what direction to take the cold read into to make the read more specific as you go along

so for example, you could say, I can tell by the way you hold your bag, you are a really warm and caring person, (she gives you negative BL), but you probably shut that part of yourself off to the world sometimes and (keep watching her) blah blah blah more bullshit

there are cool little kokology tests also to give the illusion that you have insight into her personality, like the cube and strawberry fields though, those are pretty interesting

Pick up gurus and really good PUA's do not need to use negging, they can rather talk the girl than up. It is all about what can of state you are in, and how your value is. If you have a really high value you can easily use compliments, because it comes from a sincere place.

She does not feel superior to you, if you not make her think like that. If you show that you have a higher amount of value than her, then you do not make her have superior value. Thats just wrong thinking, you should always try to have higher value than the target, but you get this value from your mindset and not by negging.

When you are going to talk to a girl always have requirements in your head, if you do not like girls who smoke. Then lover her value in your head, and judge her. Not in a extremely way, but try to think about what she says and not just nod.