Hi,

I always seem to run into a couple of girls who would always flake or blow off the date, and I am clueless about how to deal with this situation..
What I have usually done is, as suggested in the site http://www.girlschase.com/content/what- ... irls-flake# I would be cool with it. Then I will suggest a different date perhaps. How well did this work for me? I am not too sure.. but I feel like by being cool and nice about it, that kind of makes me in to an AFC who allows the girls to run all over you.


So what do you guys think is the optimal way of handling such a situation? I would often get one of these two scenarios when it happens

A) "Sorry I can't make it. Let's meet next time instead" AKA the girl does not directly ask you to reschedule on the spot.

B) "Sorry, I can't make it. Can we reschedule?" AKA the girl DOES ask directly to reschedule.

What do you guys think about these two scenarios? I have personally acted cool and played it off usually, but I don't know if that is the best way..

Also.. why do girls do this?? Although I am sure once in awhile girls do this simply because they are not interested in the guy, I do not think this is the case for every time. Is this their way of testing the guy?

Thanks!

I suggest reading "No Flakes" by Vin DiCarlo. It clearly explains what flakes are, why they do it and so on. I'm in the exact same position as you are my friend. A general rule of thumb, is if she flakes twice, leave it. Other than that... I cannot say

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"Everything you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it" - Gandhi

Interesting. I never heard that book, but I will definitely check it out. Thanks!

Yeah it is a bit difficult to understand.. and I have seen it happen quite often. Hopefully the book explains well!

A) If she doesn't have a good reason to flake, she's probably not that interested and have a lot of things over you on her priority list. If someone sends me the message "Sorry I can't make it. Let's meet next time instead!" I simply reply "Sure." and next her. In other words, I don't give two shits about her further on. This may again lead to one of two scenarios.

1 - She doesn't speak to me again, which is totally cool, because I didn't plan on having any contact with her anyway.

2 - She does speak to me again. I ignore her (freeze out), and might reply a couple of days later. If she still wants to hook up, I give her one more chance. If she flakes again, complete cold turkey. No exceptions.


B) If she asks to reschedule, she probably has a legit reason to flake, and is still interested in meeting you. Even though we have our "rules" about flaking, sometimes shit will come up, and there's no avoiding it. In this case you should see whether she proposes a new date/time to meet up. If she does, simply agree (unless you're busy or feel like you need to uphold your value). If she doesn't, say something like "Well, I'm free X-day and X-day." If she agrees, great. If not, she will suggest a day that fits her schedule. (At this point, if she still doesn't suggest a new day, fuck her. And not in the good way.)


A basic rule of thumb when it comes to flaking is "The Brad Pitt Rule". Imagine that you are Brad Pitt. Would she still flake? Most likely not, unless it's a funeral or something of the likes. Now, you're not Brad Pitt (as far as I know) which means we need some leeway here. So she's going out with Brad Pitt, and can't attend because of X and flakes. She would most definitely say "I'm sorry, I can't make it X-day. But I'm free X-day! How does that sound?"

If she suggests a new day, her flake is legit, and you should not pay it any heed.

If she doesn't, she's not THAT into you. As I pointed out earlier though, I give them some leeway, because if they're not THAT into me right now, they will be after our date.

Hope this helps.

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Alea iacta est - The die has been cast

hey brother!!! I hope you are getting l*** as a king.

I've been in your situation many times and I know how it feels but I'll give you my advice on this and I hope it's useful to you.

1) IF she just flakes and comes up with an excuse but does not mention anything about another time or reschedule what I would say is (and for the hell of it works all the time):

"Ok that's fine but I want you to reconsider this for the next time because i don't want you to look back on this someday and be like: DAmn it, when XXXX asked me out I should've said yes"

2) If she asks for reschedule be understanding and ask her when she is free and go out and do something together (I personally stay way from dinners, movies and all that). I would take her to a club and dance with her bc you can kino escalate quickly.

Hmm regarding taking a girl out to a club.. isn't that bit of a risky move since you just met her? You are taking her to a jungle full of men who are going to hit on her. Isn't that a bit dangerous since she will be put on the pedestal naturally?

not really bro. What I usually do is squeeze her tight when she is grinding on me and start kissing her on the neck and at that moment she will turn her head to you so you can kiss her in her lips {if she refuses to do that follow the 1 step forward, 2 steps backward rule} Besides all if she agrees to go with you in a club, that's still a date but that is going to take place on a club. Alcohol is a good accelerator and it will loosen you and her up. Remember: women need an "excuse" for sex, bc they dont wanna be perceived as slutty/whores [it's different with us guys, I mean if I go out and tell my guy friends I b*** a chick that I don't even know her name they will congratulate me, but that is not the case with women, their social status is very important for them. when they go and tell their friend that she had sex she needs to kinda explain it (well we went to the club, we had some drinks, we started dancing, he was so hot and I kissed him and then we went to his place, etc....]