Monday

Not a bad day overall. I talked to a couple of chicks and had a missed opportunity.

Girl 1

I was walking down one of the main hallways and saw this chick sitting on a bench. I recognized her as one of the girls that I spoke to briefly during summer class. She has long, light brown hair, fine features, slim, and fairly tall. I'm just a tiny bit over 5'9 and she's pretty much as tall as I am. I usually prefer girls a bit shorter, but hey, she's still very nice looking.

So I just walked up to her and said 'hey summer class girl', and she said hi, and after we exchanged a couple of words she moved her bag and asked me to sit down. We talked about school, and other general fluff type things for about 10 or 15 mins until we both had class. I found it very hard to get a read on her. I only spoke to her briefly during the summer, and I wasn't sure if she was interested or not, and I got the same vibe from her today. She certainly liked talking to me, not doubt there, but whether she's interested is another question.

I was going to get her number, but I decided against it. If it was a chick that I just randomly approached I probably would have, but since I've met her before, and it's very likely I"ll run into her again fairly soon, I decided not to. I'll see how our next conversation goes if/when I see her again. Part of me wishes that I had pushed things a little like I've been talking about, but since I didn't get any strong signals I decided to just leave things for today. I'm going against what I've been saying in a way, regarding trying to push things a little more, but my 'excuse' sounded good at the time so I didn't bother. If I had to bet on it, I'd kind of have my doubts, but you never know. And thinking about it now, it probably was a mistake not trying to find out. Why just leave things up in the air like that? If I wasn't sure what's up, then it's my 'job' to steer the conversation in a direction so that I can find out.

Anyways, I"ll probably see her again sometime soon.

Girl 2

I spoke to this girl in my second class in one of the large lecture halls. It wasn't much, but I started by asking her something about our midterm that's coming up. We went back and forth a little bit talking about the mid term, and that was pretty much it. Class started a few moments later. I'll see if she sits in the same area again on Wednesday or Friday.

Girl 3 - Missed opportunity

I was walking in a different section of campus, and I saw this girl sitting by herself on a 3-seat bench/couch thing on the side of the hallway. I walked by at first, went to the washroom, and maybe five minutes later I passed by coming back the other way, and I walked up to the bench and sat down. Well as soon as I started to get a book out of my bag, she was packing up her stuff. I was going to make some comment like "guess I have the whole bench to myself now" as she got up, but I didn't bother. So she took off, I was left sitting there by myself. lol I should have said something as soon as I sat down, because I waited just that little bit, and she took off. I have to start to just open right away if I've decided that's what I want to do.

General thoughts

Well that was pretty much it for the day. There were a few more opportunities that I passed up, such as walking down the hallway and seeing a girl on a bench but I kept going. I need to be more 'spontaneous' and just go and sit down right away and say something. Too often I'll come around a corner, see a girl there by herself, but keep walking because I didn't get enough time to think about what I was going to say before sitting down. I need to start to just take those opportunities when I see them. I'm finding it pretty hard to push myself lately to be honest, as it seems I've kind of settled into the way that I've been doing my approaches, and it's hard for me to push myself to be more forward. I have to push myself, even if it's just a little bit each week. I know I'm not going to make a drastic change overnight, but I need to take those baby steps forward like I've been talking about.

And like I've also said many times before, that school is crawling with chicks, so there's no real excuse for me to be coming home and updating this journal without any approaches. And I also really want to try to be a bit more direct. I don't see myself doing a direct approach right away, but rather, I'd like to do my usual situational-type of opener, and then if I see she's into talking to me, then I'll say something like I think she's cute, or something like that and go from there. It's little things like that that will start to push me in the direction that I want to go. Just a simple honest comment telling her she's cute will immediately let her know that I'm not just a guy being friendly talking about typical fluff talk shit.

Anyways, unfortunately I have a dentist appointment tomorrow, so it's not looking like I'll be at the school. So I won't have any updates until Wednesday night.

Wednesday

A kind of disappointing day overall, with not too much to report.

Today was one of those days where I didn't really get any good opportunities to approach girls that I wanted to approach. I had two 'missed opportunities', and I put that in quotes because they were situations where I pretty much write them off and not even count it. With each of them, it was a girl that I got a slight smile or look from, but we were both on the move going in opposite directions. We just passed each other, gave the little smile/look, and that was it. I'd have to stop in my tracks, and basically chase after them, which is something I really don't see myself doing right now. They even happened so fast that I doubt I would have been able to even say "hey" until they had already passed, so I would have to turn around and catch up to them.

I also ran into a different girl from one of my summer classes. But it was just a very quick hi, how are you, how are your classes going type of quick conversation, followed by nice seeing you, catch you later. That was about it.

Today was a little discouraging at the school. I've kind of alluded to it before, but my school is a big school, and it has a very large Indian and middle eastern/arabic population, and lots of muslims too. I'd just guess that European/white people would be 25%, probably even less. There are some Asians, and very few black people and very few Latinos as well. I do find many Indian girls and some others attractive, but my preference is white girls, and I also find most Asians attractive too. Perhaps it has to do a little with their age, but I find many of the people, especially Indians and some arabic people and Asians too sort of stick together in "cliques" and are often seen in quite large groups keeping amongst themselves. I only mention this to illustrate how I can find it hard to find girls that I want to approach and ones that I think are realistic for me to have a chance with.

Another thing worth mentioning is that I'm an older dude, and even though some of them may find me attractive, just the fact of my age and different background is enough to make it not work. What I mean is, for example, I regularly see this Indian girl around, and she hangs out in a big group of maybe 12-15 people, all Indian and all probably 19 to 21 yrs old. She looks at me sometimes, but I could never hang out with her crowd, it just wouldn't work. I'm a dude with piercings, a tattoo, clearly older and have a latino/spanish/ italian sort of look to me (at least that's what I've been told). And if I had to describe the way I look, it would be the sort of player/bad boy/ tough guy sort of look to me. Point is, I just don't fit in to her crowd, and I'd stand out like a sore thumb.

I don't know, I'm rambling, but I'm just trying to make the point that even though it's a big school and there are tons of chicks around, there are relatively few that I sometimes feel that I have a chance with or is realistic that I approach. I'm not cutting myself short at all, I'm just trying to be realistic. I'm into my 30s, and some of these people are 17 and 18 just getting out of high school. I have no particular age cutoff (as long as it's legal), but I generally am trying for chicks that look to be 20+, so that eliminates half of the school population right there.

I only mention this because after days like today I come home and think to myself how the fuck can I go to a school that big and not have any approaches? Well, when I think of it the way that I just laid out, a very large percentage of the school population are ones that I won't really go for. Would I bang many of them? sure, but even though I look very young, I still have to try to keep in mind that I'm much older than they are. And, like I said, it's just my preference, but I do prefer white girls, and by comparison to the others, there aren't that many around. Plus, I like slim girls, or at the very least what I would call medium. I'm not into chicks with huge thick legs, or an ass that's twice the size of my own, that's just what I like. So considering my preferences, I guess it's not all that hard to come home without many approaches sometimes.

And that brings me to my final thought: Maybe I do need to start to 'chase' after chicks that I see walking down the hall in a different direction. As it is, I've only ever approached ones that I see sitting alone on benches, or in the library, and those opportunities can be few and far between. Do I need to just park my ass on the side of the hallway, spot a chick I like and jump in front of her while she's on the move? Man, I don't know, but maybe that's what it's coming down to eventually. Because I'll be honest, I hate coming home after days like today and updating this journal with no real news or anything significant to report. It kind of feels like I'm failing, and that sort of pisses me off!

Anyways, tomorrow is a new day!

I have a few comments I can make on your most recent post.

The first is that when it comes to picking out girls to approach, its always smart to use some "default assumptions" to help guide you along (also to strictly enforce your standards, which you are doing and I agree with 100%). I do this all the time and I think my stance on being very selective with who you approach is pretty well-documented:

Three girls at coffee shop? Not likely.
Girl with bags coming out of grocery store? Probably not.

etc..etc...

In this case, girls that are significantly different than you are, in general, probably not going to be easy to approach. However, I always feel like individual "signals" override those default assumptions. So if a girl smiles at you or puts herself in your proximity, even if she's far younger and seems to only associate with her own "type" she may be interested. You might as well find out. I've been with a lot of girls that I've had almost nothing in common with, except for the fact that we happened to be in the same place at the same time in a random encounter.

All that said, why do you stick to exclusively gaming while you are on campus? Can you study in a coffee shop? Or does your university have graduate programs that have older students and probably places where they congregate, such as the "law library" where you can do your work? What about approaching girls in your day-to-day errands: at the bank, at the grocery store, at the convenience shop, on the street in front of your apartment?

And I don't know if I've missed it, but what do you do with your time outside of school? I know you are not big on night game and drinking, which is fine, but other than lifting weights (are there girls at the gym?), I don't recall seeing anything else that you routinely take part in, so you must have some free time on your hands...

Which brings me to my final point...this is something I've been meaning to post on and the intuitive reader of my posts will maybe have already drawn this conclusion but I'll quickly mention it here:

Game as it is typically preached via the internet, both nightgame and daygame, is meant to be conducted in large cities. I can't think of many gurus and big names that didn't come out of LA, San Diego, San Francisco, Las Vegas, Dallas, Miami, NYC, London, or Sydney. The implication there is that most guys version of "game" is simply playing the numbers afforded to them by being able to make an obscene amount of approaches each week. If you do not have that luxury, you will need to become much more efficient and strategic. Social circles, Meet Up groups, organizations, clubs, leagues, hobbies that lend themselves to mingling (or if they don't, creating a way in which they do such as a happy hour group for "solo-preneurs"). Think about how you are using your time away from school and if there are ways to integrate meeting girls into that equation. This is what social "butterflies" do.

Your last sentence nails it, I might as well find out. And it goes back to what you said in your journal, that I play it too safe. And that's definitely true. I've been saying it a lot, but I do need to push myself more than I have been. I've been sort of stagnating with doing the same types of approaches, and taking the same types of 'risks' for awhile without really pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

But I'll still talk to a chick that's giving those 'signals', it's just that with me, I end up waiting for those perfect opportunities instead of just going for it a bit more. What I mean is that for most of my approaches, the girl has to be alone, nobody else can really be around or close enough to hear me, and those situations are sometimes difficult to come across.
Me too actually, in fact, most of the girls at that school would be that way for me. That's not to say I wouldn't have some things in common, but just age and life experience etc would be much different. But I’m so used to being around ‘young’ people that I talk to them and can relate no problem. It’s crazy sometimes; even just recently, on girl guessed that I was 24, and another one in the summer guessed the same too. I’ll never bring up age at all, and if they ever ask me I usually just get them to guess, just to humor me.

I guess it’s mainly just the ones that hang out in those big groups that I sort of don’t bother with as much. But there are definitely others that aren’t always in groups, and I’ll still approach those regardless of their age etc.
Some afternoons or evenings in a coffee shop could work out well for me. Or, I could even stick around the school sometimes for longer. I usually take off in the early afternoon most days and go straight to the gym.

There is a 'grad lounge' or something at my school, but I've never actually gone in to check it out. It's pretty small, but it's something that I should consider though. There are also a couple of other libraries that might have some opportunities to be had as well. I guess I'm a creature of habit, and I tend to stick to the few same areas that I'm used to. I think there is even a 'mature student' centre or something, but I don't think there's much action going on in there. I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining about the age thing, truth is that I actually prefer younger chicks in general. But still, it might be something that I should check out.

Approaching in my day to day errands is something that I really should try to focus on too. I guess the reason why I've hardly done that is that it would push me out of my comfort zone and I've really failed in doing much of that lately. I've just sort of fallen into a 'routine' of approaching in situations like I normally do, and outside of that I really haven't done much. I have to try it, as that's part of improving, but I'll have to step up my game.

As much as my post yesterday probably came off like I was complaining about lack of opportunity at the school, but the reality is that there are tons of chicks at the school. I just need to step up my approach game, and not only wait for chicks that are in what I call perfect situations to approach. Now that doesn't mean I need to go to the other extreme right away and start jumping in front of chicks that are walking down the hallway, but there really is a lot more chances there if I just stepped my game up a bit and grabbed my sack and quit making excuses. I mean if you walked around my school for a day, you'd probably be like "what the fuck is this guy talking about, this place is crawling with pussy!".

I mean, demographics, age or whatever aside, it's a university campus with several thousands, even tens of thousands of full time students, so looking at it that way, there is no shortage of chicks to pick up. I just can't always wait for one's that are sitting alone with nobody around all the time.

But I know what you're saying, and I've read it in your journal too. Make approaching chicks part of your everyday life. To an extent, I'm that way now, as I never go out 'sarging', or set aside a specific time to go out to look for chicks. I just do it as I'm going about my day while I'm at school. But I should extend that to while I'm not at school too, no doubt.

There is definitely opportunity, I even got a phone number today that I’ll write about when I post today’s entry later on. But some days it doesn’t seem like there’s much around. But again, that’s just me, I’m sure if you were there you’d think I was nuts for bitching! And I don’t mean to come across like I complain. I’m actually extremely grateful that I can be there and still in a position to even think about picking up at a school. Not to come off like I’m bragging at all, but for most guys my age going to a university campus and picking up is a pipedream, so I’m happy and grateful everyday that I’m there.
Well as far as the night game goes, I actually do want to go out and give it a try again. I won’t be drinking, but that’s ok. Most of my friends are long married and so far out of the scene. But I do have one guy that's still single and my age, but unfortunately nowadays he's a bit of a mess, because when he goes out he gets way too fucked up with alcohol or drugs or both and he's basically a mess. He used to be good, but hard partying catches up to you when you've been doing it for a decade or two. I know.

I also have a couple of young guys that are around 21 that are sort of into the bars, so I'll probably end up going out with them soon. I did go out to the bar over the summer about 5 times, but didn't get anything more than a few conversations. That was the first time I've been out to a bar in many years, so the first few times I was kind of like a fish out of water. But I think if I went back now, I'd do a bit better.

Funny thing is that a good percentage of my previous lays have come from one night stands at bars when I was in my mid to late 20s. That was when I was out at the bars every weekend. I have quite a lot of lays, but when I think of all the time I spent over the years being single and going out to bars, my lay count, even though it's a little north of forty, isn't all that impressive considering my age and overall time spent. Point is that I took what was easy back then, and I really didn't have all that much game, just a lot of alcohol in my system, and it was definitely a crutch.

As far as my gym goes, well there are hardly ever any chicks there. I'm usually there in the afternoons, so it's not that busy. My old gym (MMA and muay thai) was much better for girls actually, but I haven't been there since the spring. If I went to my gym now during peak hours there would be tons of chicks I'm sure, but the few times I've been I've found it so hard to work out because I always have to wait for the bench, squat racks etc, and it was more hassle than it was worth really. It’s just too busy at night time.

And the brief rundown as far as what I do for work would be that I used to work in the financial industry, held a decent office job and got into middle management by the time I was in my later 20s. I got sick of the grind, so I quit and started a small business in a different field altogether. I still am self employed doing different things now, but I've sacrificed the money I used to make for the freedom that I have now. I don’t do anything glamorous now, but I love being a student, and doing what I do, at least for now. So yea, no really opportunities for pickup at 'work' either.

But like I said, if I straighten my shit up, show a bit more balls, not give a fuck about rejection nearly as much, there's no reason why I shouldn't be pulling chicks at the school, or at the bar if/when I go out.
That's definitely a good point. I'm a bit of both actually. At school, since it is somewhat of a 'closed system' I need to be more selective with my approaches, but I also live on the outskirts of a large city (Toronto), so as far as bars go, there are endless amounts of girls on any given night.

Even though it would be a great idea, as of yet, I haven’t go involved in any sort of extra-curricular activities or clubs at school, even though there are tons of different things like that going on.

Like I sort of mentioned, being a bit older, I find it hard to get guys to go out, and I might even have to go out to a bar by myself, which I've never done yet. When I was younger, I never had a problem with finding friends who wanted to go out. Even though I try my best to look, act, feel, and be young, not everyone else I know has. The one bar I was going to in the summer with a couple of young aspiring ‘PUA’ guys from this site actually, and that was a 19-24 crowd mostly, and oddly enough, I pretty much felt like I fit into that. Or at least I didn’t really stand out anyways.

But yeah, I guess it just comes down to stepping up my game a bit, and also like you’ve said, try a bit more to incorporate ‘game’ into my everyday life outside of school as well.

Well, I’ll wrap up this short novel here, even though I could probably go on for awhile!

But thanks again for taking the time to read some of my stuff and comment, I appreciate it!

Thursday

Pretty good day today. I got the phone number from the girl I ride the bus with on Thursdays. She's the one I briefly talked to with the school t-shirt on that day. I also made a brief comment to another girl on the bench, but it's hardly worth mentioning.

School t-shirt girl ... or Thursday bus girl .. ? I'll think of a good name!

I was waiting inside for the bus this morning when "school t-shirt girl" came in. (pretty lame name I know, maybe I'll think of a better one if she's in further entries!). She comes up to where I was sitting, says hi, and sits down. We talked for about 10 minutes until the bus came.

I was thinking that during the ride, I was going to stop her as she got off, and get her number. But she ended up doing some of the work for me. As we both got off, she turned to me and said "so do you have facebook or anything?". So I just said yeah, and we should exchange numbers, so I gave her my phone, and she put her number in. I sent her a text after we parted ways, and an hour or so after that I got a notification on my phone that she added me to facebook.

Man, she looks nice. I checked out a few fb pics that she has up of her at some beach with a few friends. She's a nice looking girl, for sure. She's maybe 5'5, straight brown hair part way down her back, cute face, really nice body, nice looking firm c-cup from what I could tell. Nice!

Anyways, it's a bad time now, as we're just about at our midterms, so almost everyone is going to be really busy. I'll probably send her a text over the weekend and ask her how her studying going as we have the same midterm coming up next week.

Girl 2

This is barely worth mentioning, but what the hell. I was sitting on a bench, and these people were trying to talk to the girl beside me about something, or trying to 'sell' her something. They're around a lot, and she seemed a bit bothered by them. When they left, I just made a comment to her how they're always around and they've come up to me a few times too. she basically agreed and didn't have much to say, so I just left it. I could tell by the way she reacted to them that either she didn't have a great day, or was just the bitchy type. But I didn't really care, I just commented anyways.

Well, that was it for the day. I wasn't really there for long, as I had some things to do so I only stayed for a little bit after my class was done.

We'll see what happens tomorrow.

Friday

Well nothing much to report today, it was a slow day at the school. Fridays are usually pretty dead there compared to the rest of the week.

There was one girl sitting outside at the end of the day that I was going to approach, but didn't bother. I only had a few minutes before my bus came, and she was staring into her notebook, and wasn't looking up or looking around at all. Even if I had of approached, I would have had to try for her number after a 2 minute conversation, which I still could have done, but it certainly wasn't ideal. So I just left her alone.

There was one other girl that smiled at me when I was sitting on a bench. She was sitting close by with her headphones in. I was thinking of saying something to her, but she got talking on her phone, and a minute later it turned out she was talking to her boyfriend, and he comes up to her and they started kissing! lol .. so much for that!

General thoughts

I'm usually a pretty positive guy, but I must be honest and say that this past week or so, I have had a hard time keeping positive, at least when it comes to chicks/pickup. I guess I'm a bit frustrated with my failure to really push myself. Even though I got a phone number this week, I'm still not happy with myself. And that number that I just got yesterday from "school t-shirt girl" might turn out to be nothing, as I saw a few facebook pics with her and a guy with his arm around her. The pics were a little dated, but it did look like there's a good chance it's her boyfriend. She doesn't have her status thing saying "in a relationship", but that doesn't always mean that she's not in one. My plan is to find out next time I talk to her.

So let's see, in the last month I've got 4 phone numbers, and if this one has a bf, then that's 3 out of 4 chicks I've got numbers from have had bfs, and the other one turned out to be a muslim girl that's a virgin waiting for marriage. So yeah, that's not really anything to get too excited about as far as results go. In fact, that's shit.

I think part of the problem has been that I'll write about trying to push myself here in the journal, but I don't really psyche myself up for it or think about it enough to actually do it once I'm at school. At least for me, I seem to need to think about and actually visualize myself doing some of the things that I want to do in order for me to make the change and do it. Or I need to run a scenario through my mind and think about what exactly I might say. Because if I just go to the school like any other day, and a situation comes up where I should act, I seem to just either freeze or pass it up, because inside I'm not ready to do it.

That's the best way that I can describe it off the top of my head. I need to develop some sort of 'strategy' or think about scenarios where I know I can sort of push myself and really tell myself that I have to do it. Because obviously just writing it here in the journal and not giving it much more thought doesn't really seem to be working.

I'm doing this to improve, and I want to get better, and I won't accept the fact that I'm sort of stalling here without much progress. I need to keep in mind that the purpose of this journal is to track my progress and improve, not just tell the same old story of how I approached a girl who was alone sitting on a bench. I need to get a solid number, so I can go out with her on some sort of day 2 and get laid. The lack of progress here needs to change.

I need to make myself a promise, or set a goal that I must achieve. So here it is: I will do something next week, even if it's just one small thing, which will push me out of my comfort zone, and something that I haven't done before. Now this could mean opening a girl using a situational opener and if the conversation is going well, I'll switch and be direct by telling her she's cute. Or, it could even be something as simple as opening a girl right away when I sit down. Now that doesn't seem like much, but when I thought about it I realized that I always wait a bit before I open. I'll sit down, pull out a book, screw with my phone, or do something for a minute or so then I'll open her. I need to be more spontaneous and just open right away. I hate using the term, but maybe I need to follow my own variation of the 3 second rule.

Just doing something like that, even once, will push me a little bit and it's something that I generally haven't done this year. Or it could also mean that I’ll talk to a chick on the spot without having to think or psyche myself up for it. An example would be if I’m walking around a corner or see a chick somewhere all of a sudden I’ll go up to her and say something right away without delay. These are all things that I don’t normally do. So there it is, I will do something like that next week, for sure. I think that’s setting the bar pretty low, and I’m doing that on purpose so that I’ll know my first goal here is pretty easily attainable. And then, I'll step up my goals for the week after and make it so that I'm pushing myself a little more. I just need to quit fucking around and just do it.

I need to make some progress here, as I'm tired of updating this journal without much in the way of results. And it also sucks coming home on a Friday knowing I have to wait until Monday for another shot. I have to study this weekend, and as of right now I don't really have anyone lined up that wants to go out. It's not a good weekend for me anyways, so I won’t have much of a chance at much until Monday.

And it also sucks that just when I think I might have something going on (school t-shirt girl) it looks like there's a good chance she has a boyfriend. Doesn't mean she won't screw around on him, but still, how fuckin' hard is it to find a single chick? Man, 3 out of 4 chicks I've got numbers from look to have bfs, that's a real shitty ratio.

Anyways, bottom line is that I’m going to step up my game a bit. I may crash and burn a few times, but fuck it, it’s not that big of a deal, and I’ll feel much better even if I do, because at least I’ll know that I tried.

Well that’s another week in the books, and I’m looking forward to next week!

Monday

Not a whole lot to report today. I had 2 missed opportunities, but they weren't really ones that I would normally go for.

Girl 1

This is the one that I probably should have went for.

I was sitting on a bench near the library just looking at my book. This girl comes and sits on the bench to my left. She's nice looking, with light brown/blonde hair, nice body and very cute face. Unfortunately she's eating a slice of pizza, and I generally don't like to talk to someone when they're in the middle of eating. If it was me and a chick opened me, I'd probably not even eat my food while I was talking and it could go to waste if it got cold. Anyways, I got up to put something in the garbage, and as I turned around after I tossed it in, I noticed that she was looking at me, but she turned away quickly so I couldn't see, but I still caught her.

There was another girl on my right, but she wasn't all that great looking. Unfortunately when she was done her slice the hallway was pretty dead, and was really quiet. I didn't want to open when it was so quiet and I had that other chick on my right that was looking in my direction a lot, not because she was on to me, it looked like she was waiting for someone to show up. So anyways, I was in the middle of these two chicks and felt kinda awkward about opening. So she finished her slice, stayed for a minute longer then got up and left.

Girl 2

This one wasn't much of a chance, but it's still worth mentioning. I was sitting on the same benches, and this chick came up to the library doors and just stood there and was sort of looking at her phone and sending or reading a text. Normally when people stand near the doors they are waiting for someone, and that's what this chick was doing. She was very cute, but maybe a bit on the young side. Nevertheless, I caught her looking at me twice, but each time we made eye contact she'd look away instantly. She ended up walking away a moment or two later. There was a space on the bench beside me, and I was hoping she'd sit down because I would have said something to her for sure. I was hesitant about getting up in a situation like that, because like I said people are usually waiting for someone, and if I did get up, my conversation would have likely been interrupted by her friend/bf/who knows very shortly.

Well, I had some stuff to do so I wasn't at the school for very long. I really should have opened Girl 1, I was kicking myself for not doing it after she left. But to be fair, it wasn't exactly an easy situation to open in. But still, those are the types of situations that I should probably be trying to push myself to open more. She was nice looking and I can't afford to let those ones just slip away so easily like that.

I'm not even sure if I'll be there tomorrow. So this could be a short week for me there. I have lots of work to do, as well as studying for my midterm. I'm still going to do my best to keep to my 'promise' that I wrote about on Friday of doing something to push myself out of my comfort zone this week. It's too bad, because opening Girl 1 would have done it. Oh well, the week's not over yet!

I think you are giving too much thought to what the girl on the opposite side would be thinking. There's really only a few options for her response if you were to casually open the pizza girl with something inane like "How's your pizza?" or "Wow, that smells good, I haven't eaten in hours."

--Completely oblivious. She likely would not notice.
--"That guy is cute, I wish her would have talked to me instead."
--"He's right, that pizza does look really good!"

I find it very hard to believe that she would ever be like "OMG, he asked her about her pizza, he's hitting on her, creep!!!!!" I mean come on dude, you were sitting next to the girl. Its more awkward to not say anything. Its not like you crossed 30 yards of dead space just to ask her about the pizza, she was right there. And you aren't saying anything super direct, so its pretty irrelevant what the people around you can hear. I paddle up to girls in crowded surf lineups and chat them up all the time, no one even bats an eye until they realize the chick is into me and start wishing they were the one who had talked to her first.

This was a softball, a golden opportunity, a layup. These are the ones that are most important.

Im 100% with Daniel man, reading that last one were you missed the pizza girl was really random for me lol

I say some very out of order shit to most girls: "Hey nice to cunt, I mean meet you, Have you tried anal? We should all just get to together and just have one big orgy, your boobs are amazing" etc...

No one has ever really come up to me and said what the hell thats some crazy shit. I understand your in Uni but that's no excuse, just have a conversation with some subtle hints and she will take it at as fun. You have to push your social limits, thats the only way to really improve yourself-You'l get better in time for sure though.

_________________
Live. Learn. Love.

Yea, I know man, that was pretty weak on my part for letting her just walk away like that. True enough, those are ones I can't let slip away from me. I really did want to wait until she finished eating, and I had about a minute before she got up and left. But I hesitated, and ended up with nothing. And that's pretty much what I was thinking of saying too. It was kind of early, about 10:30, so I was going to say something like "so pizza for breakfast". But obviously I said fuck all.

But you're right, I do tend to put way too much thought into what other people might think. I know for the most part people won't even give a fuck what I say, but for some reason I always 'worry' so much when someone else is there and can hear me. And that's really the big weakness of my 'approach game' right now. I let too many opportunities slide by because they're often in situations where other people can hear me open the girl. Once I'm talking it's no big deal, but for some reason it's just if someone is right there and can hear me approach is when I'm like that.

Thanks for commenting though, as that's the kind of 'slap in the face' I need to sort of wake up and realize 'what the fuck am I thinking?'!

Hey, well I completely agree with that, no doubt about it. I do have to push myself a bit more, so hopefully I won't let any more of those types of opportunities pass me by.
Haha, I get what you're saying, but saying stuff like that isn't really my style. I'm a bit older, and I'm also in school during the day, so for me personally, I wouldn't see that working out too well. But everyone has their own personality and style, so if stuff like that works for you, well it's all good.

But anyways, thanks for reading along and your comments.

Tuesday

I ended up going to the school today, but not much happened other than the bus ride in with "school t-shirt girl".

We talked a bit while waiting for the bus, and we got on the bus and she sat with me for the first time. And she was even a little shy/awkward about doing that. We talked off and on during the ride into school. The bus was pretty full, and was very quiet, we were the only ones talking. I wanted to ask her if she has a bf, then ask her out, but I didn't want to do it on the bus. Unlike yesterday, this was different than just asking how her pizza is, so I wanted to wait until we got off the bus to ask something like that. Well, she had to go to a different building so we went different ways and I didn't get a chance to ask her.

I didn't think it's a big deal, as this was the first time I've actually talked to her for more than 5 minutes at a time. Plus, I usually see her twice a week, but I always see her on Thursday mornings. It would be a problem if I let it drag on another week or two, but I'll make a point of asking her on Thursday. I still find it a bit hard to get a read on her though. At least with me, she seems quite shy, a bit introverted, and fairly submissive. She definitely a nice girl, and she seems like she's pretty sweet. She definitely likes talking to me, no doubt there, but I'll just have to see if there's more there than that.

Today I focused on studying mostly, and there weren't really any good opportunities to speak of. I went up to the library, did my thing, had lunch, read for awhile longer, then caught the bus home and went to the gym.

On the bus home, however, I did see a girl that I haven't seen since the summer. She was talking to some other guy and sat near him, but we made eye contact a few times, but she'd look away very quickly. I'll try to make a point of taking the same bus next Tuesday to see if she's there.

And that's about it for the day.

Wednesday

Nothing much going on today. I went in, wrote my midterm, and that was about it.

I was sitting in a student area/caf sort of area for awhile before the test just looking over my stuff, but no real prospects around. Then I went to write the test, and it was harder than I thought. Damn, I really should know better by now to prepare a bit better, because I knew it was going to be rough going in.

After the test I hung around a bit more. I went up to the library, but it was so busy, there were literally no seats around. Many people congregate by sitting on the floor and up against walls. This school is in serious need of more 'student area' or places to sit. I walked around a bit more, sat down at a few spots and looked over my books, but again there wasn't really much around. No softballs for me to swing at today.

Thursday

Alright, to anyone reading this, brace yourself, this is gonna be a long post!

Well, I have a lot to say today. What a day.

In a word or two, I found out “school t-shirt girl” has a boyfriend, I approached two really hot chicks and felt pretty good about the day overall. Then, at the end of the day, I watched some dude do a direct approach right in front of me on a chick I wanted to open. I had a front row seat. I Left the school with mixed emotions and a lot of thoughts running through my head.

Now for the several thousand word version:

”School t-shirt girl

Well I knew I’d see her this morning, so I wanted to find out whether she was single or not. We were talking while waiting for the bus, and in the middle of normal conversation I tossed that question in there and found out she does have a bf. She answered “yea, but he lives 3 hrs away”. We talked more during the ride in, and I gathered some more info about her situation. They’ve been going together for 3 years, and things seem fairly solid on the surface from what I found out. He lives away on residence of another school, and I casually asked her whether she’s the jealous type and ever thinks he might cheat. Long story short I found that she said he has chicks post on his facebook, and she did seem a bit frustrated and said something like ‘I don’t really care anymore”, or something like that.

But even still, she didn’t really speak poorly at all, or really say anything too negative, so that’s why it seems like the relationship is pretty good. After all, they’ve been together for 3 years. She’s a very nice girl, but I did find out a few insignificant details about her that aren’t worth mentioning that would DQ her from girlfriend material for me, but I’d bang her if the chance arose. She also says that she has lots of guy friends. I’m old enough to have seen a lot of examples of chicks that say that in the past. It seems she may like to gather up a bunch of guys she thinks are good looking to have as ‘friends’ to satisfy her need for male attention. What it amounts to is that they aren’t really friends for the most part, they’re just a bunch of dudes that all want to fuck her. Now I’m not saying every single chick with guy friends is like that, but I’ve seen enough in my day to recognize patterns, that’s all.

I’ll ride the bus with her, no real harm there, and I’ll see if she brings up anything more about her bf or any negativity associated with it. If so, and depending on the vibe I get, I’ll suggest that we hang out. But other than that, I’m not wasting any of my precious thoughts, emotions, or time on her. Next.

Girl 1

For an October day, it was very nice and warm out, so there were lots of people outside sitting around in the afternoon. I was walking around a bit, and in the distance I spot what looks to be a nice looking chick sitting by herself on a bench, and on the bench beside her was a fat chick on the phone. Perfect. I walk up to the bench, start to sit down and I said something like “Hey, I’m gonna share this bench with you for a few minutes”. She smiled and said yes.

Earlier I noticed that for some reason a flag at the school was flying half-mast, and that usually means a death, or something has happened. Not an overly positive subject to bring up I’ll admit, but it was situational, so I asked her whether she knew what that was about. She didn’t. Unfortunately, just like the other day, this chick was eating lunch, and like I said before, I really don’t like to bother people when they’re eating. So to try to be a little courteous, I spoke to her saying a few more things when she was done taking a few bites and checked her phone or whatever in between eating. She was quite friendly, but she was eating, so since I didn’t keep going, it was a brief and broken conversation. There wasn’t much to it really, we went back and forth briefly, and when she finished, she packed up her stuff, said see you later, and she took off.

One thing that I did, however insignificant it might sound, is that I opened her right away, instead of just sitting down then waiting, like I usually do. And I did say that I was going to at least do something like that this week. These benches aren’t small, so it’s not like I was a few inches next to her by any means. Most people would just sit down without saying anything. So anyways, I walked away from that one feeling pretty good, even though in the end nothing came out of it.

Girl 2

I’ve seen this girl once or twice before. She’s really attractive. She’s quite tall actually, just about my height, with long, straight dark brown/black hair, a small silver nose ring, really pretty face, and quite slim. Well, I was walking near these concrete steps/benches and saw her sitting down by herself. Unfortunately, I was already sitting down in another spot, so a few minutes later I just got up and left, with the idea that I’d do a lap around, wait five minutes, then come back and take a seat next to her. I just did this so that she wouldn’t see that I went directly over to her, that’s if she even saw me in the first place. I wanted to make it seem like I just walked up to her area by coincidence. A needless thing to do perhaps, but that’s what I was thinking, and that’s what I ended up doing.

Well, it was a combination of a bit of lack of nuts, and the fact that there wasn’t a good spot to sit where I could talk to her, so I ended up walking around a bit more in a different area for another five minutes before I came back to see if any spots opened up. Well, after I fucked around a few minutes longer and saw that there were no spots in good position, I just went there anyways and sat down. She was on the top level of the steps. The easiest way to describe it is that she was sitting ‘long ways’ on the steps facing ‘north’. So I sat cross ways on the steps right behind her facing ‘west’. That was the only spot that was open, so I was facing one way, and her back was to me. She glanced up slightly as I walked up the two big steps to get to her top level, and I don’t know whether it was coincidence or not, but she ended up turning after a minute or two to face ‘west’, the same way that I was. When she moved to face the same direction that I was, I opened her right away by asking her about the same half-mast flag thing, and if she knew anything about it. She seemed very friendly, and we talked a bit back and forth for the next minute or two. I found out that it’s her first year, so that would mean that’s she’s no more than 18 if she came right from high school. That surprised me, as she did look a bit older and I would have guessed she was 20 anyways.

Well, where I fucked up, and this goes back to me being too ‘safe’, is that after my first comment or two, I just let the conversation die out for a few moments before I started up again. I really don’t know why I played it that way, in the back of my mind I probably think that I’m just trying to be very casual and not too pushy, or just trying to come across as a chill, mellow guy. Or, in some ways, that first comment or two is just put out there like a ‘feeler’ to gauge a reaction. I don’t usually do that, as I’ll normally just start talking and don’t let it die, but for whatever reason that’s what I did. Well it didn’t take long until she got a text, and she gets up and says that she has to go meet her friend now, and she says see you later.

I realize now that all that initial time that I spent walking around waiting for a good spot to open up, or the moment or two I wasted by letting the convo die out I could have been talking to her more, so that when she did say she had to go I would have had a solid 10 or 15 mins of conversation in, and I could have went for her number. I still could have, nothing was stopping me, but I hadn’t been talking to her for very long. It’s too bad, because she definitely seemed into talking to me. She made really good eye contact with me, she was smiling when I smiled, and it was just a pretty good vibe to the short conversation that we had.

I’ll elaborate more on this in the general comments section, but looking back, I need to be more aggressive and lose this playing it safe type of mindset. Because another potentially good chick just slipped through my fingers. Even Girl 1 seemed into talking to me and was quite friendly, but again, I just watched her get up and leave.

Witnessing a direct approach right in front of me on a chick I wanted to open

This is the one that sort of stung, but also motivated me at the same time. I really did leave with mixed emotions today.

I saw this slim blonde chick sitting on these couches/benches that are sort of in a cluster-type formation in an open area in one of the buildings. I’m not sure if the spot beside her was open, as I honestly didn’t notice right away, so I ended up sitting pretty much directly in front of her, maybe 10-12 feet away. She was sitting there with her feet up reading some notes in her book.

She seemed pretty into what she was doing, as she barely looked up, but we did make very brief eye contact once before she got back to doing what she was doing. Well all of a sudden, this Asian dude comes walking up to her from out of nowhere and says quite loudly, ‘excuse me, are you a psych major’ or something like that. I don’t remember what she said, but this guy then says ‘this is kind of random, but I’ll be honest, I think you’re really cute and I just wanted to come up and say hi”, or something pretty close to that. I mean, I’ve read the exact ‘script’ somewhere on this site, so guaranteed this guy has read up on PUA stuff. Even one of his questions he used to elicit emotions or whatever was one I’ve read here before. He asked something like ‘if you had all the money in the world, what would you do’. Other than that, he basically just fluff talked about pretty mundane shit.

Well this dude had balls, I’ll give him that, because several people could hear him when he first opened, and he said it very loud, so none of that seemed to faze him. And you could tell the girl was kind of embarrassed and a little shocked at first. From there he really didn’t have any game (not necessarily saying I’d do a lot better), as he just talked about a lot of fluff type of subjects.

What was interesting to me was that I had a front row seat to the whole thing, and I really noticed a lot about body language, and posture. She was a nice and friendly girl, but her body language and lack of eye contact told the story. She was facing straight ahead, and looked bored and disinterested at times even though she kept talking and was very polite and nice. She even rested her head on her hands for a bit like she was tired or bored, and was looking straight ahead mostly as she spoke. While on the other hand, he was leaning into her, completely facing her direction and looking right at her the whole time as he spoke. He also was slightly fidgety and came across a little needy, but only very slightly. He just seemed like he was really into talking to her and he had a lot invested in the interaction. That was just my impression that I got as an observer.

The entire thing went on for a ridiculous amount of time, as I didn’t even get to see the grand finale, but I was there for an hour and he was still there talking. But in that whole time, he never once moved away from fluff talk and never once got very personal or moved it in anything but a friendly-sounding conversation. I had to get going, but I was hoping to see if/how he was going to get her number. Now don’t get me wrong, she was doing a lot of talking too, and every so often she’d seem to perk up a bit and get ‘excited’ when a certain subject came up, but overall, at least to me, her body language and eye contact told the story. She even glanced up at me a few times during it. I was reading my stuff, but still listening, and I tried not to look up at them too much so it wouldn’t appear like I was eavesdropping, but my curiosity got the better of me and I took the whole thing in.

But yeah, they covered so many neutral, boring, regular topics, and he didn’t really get a whole lot of personal info out of her considering they spoke for more than an hour. I’d guess that he got her number, but I’d bet almost anything that it turns out to be a flake for him. But he plowed through it though. She especially seemed very disinterested right at first, and I give the guy props for staying the course, as if it was me and a chick practically turned away from me at first after I went direct, I’d pretty much bail on the thing and leave. But he was a nice enough guy, and he was good at keeping a conversation going, no doubt there, but right at first, she really did sort of give the ‘fuck off’ type of vibe to him with her body language and no eye contact. She was a bit embarrassed I suppose, as the guy was loud, but still. But nevertheless, it was interesting and also informative for me to watch something like that and take it all in. I especially noticed a lot about body language, and how after awhile the conversation, at times, seemed strained or slightly forced as they went from one tame topic to the next. He should have tried for the number and got out of there much sooner if that’s how he was going to play it with topics like that. It was a learning experience for me too.

But that was the long and short of it, but in the end, hey, I give the guy props, he went in direct, and I was left sitting there on the sidelines as a spectator watching this dude do something that I didn’t have the balls to do. I could have got up and planted my ass right beside her and started talking, but I didn’t. He did.

But at the same time, watching that motivated me. I figure if this geek can do it, I sure as hell can too. Not to sound arrogant, but looks wise, the dude couldn’t hold a candle to me, so if he can get away with doing that and not get totally shot down, well what the fuck am I waiting for? Anyways, more about this in the general thoughts section.

General Thoughts

I have lots of general thoughts today, so each of them will get its own subheading!

On letting the two hot chicks just get up and walk away

I coulda/shoulda stopped them and tried for the number, or for a bit more conversation. I thought of this stuff after the fact, but at the time I was just thinking “damn, that sucks, wish she didn’t have to go”. I remember something Daniel Balboa was saying about throwing out a hail mary, or a flirtatious comment like “hey, wait a minute, I’m not quite done hitting on you yet!”, or even “hey, do you have to go so soon, just a minute”. At least that could have bought me enough time to just ask if they have a bf, then if not, suggest we hang out a bit later and get her number. Anything is better than just letting them walk away.

I really do like the “hey wait a minute, I’m not quite done hitting on you yet”, line, said with a nice grin/smile, I think that could be good. But at least I opened right away, and I kept a strong and positive frame and wasn’t really nervous on the outside at all. And both of the chicks today were extremely hot girls, and there have been a couple of times where that fact has thrown me off my game slightly in the past. But I did very well today as far as that goes.

The nice weather

It’s a shame that other than exceptions like today, the cold fall weather is upon us here. It’s great at school when it’s nice out, as there are so many people outside sitting around and spread out, it makes daygame opportunities much easier. When it’s cold, like it is for pretty much the whole school year except September, people are all inside, and even though there are student areas, libraries, benches, etc, it just seems that people are much more accessible and just more people out and about when it’s nice out. Oh well, nothing much I can do about it, but I often think of how nice it would be to go to school in the States or somewhere that you get more warm weather. Our summers here can get very hot, no doubt, and we get a lot of nice days in September, but this time of year is usually quite cold and not really nice weather to be hanging around outside.

Being at the school later in the day, or for longer periods

I’m usually out of there by the early afternoon most days. I ended up staying later today because I was too busy being a front row spectator to the Asian PUA dude that I missed the regular bus that I normally take. But just being there a bit later reminded me that there are still lots of people around at later hours.

One thing that holds me back from staying later is that my gym gets too busy anytime after about 4-5 pm. Another issue is that for the last several months I’ve been closely tracking my diet in terms of calories, fat, carbs and protein. I do take some food with me, but eating anything at the school is tough because only one or two places at most provide nutritional info for their food. I’m trying to be as accurate as I can, so I really don’t want to guess. Plus, I try to eat as healthy as I can, and at a university, it’s not that easy to do. Or the few places that do have healthy stuff are ridiculously expensive. So that’s why I bring food from home, or eat at this one place that has healthy stuff and gives nutritional values for their food.

If I had a schedule that allowed it, I’d love to get the gym over with first thing in the morning, then have the rest of the day to screw around at the school as long as I don’t have any work to do. But as it is now, my classes are in the morning, and I’d be cutting myself short on sleep trying to wake up very early to go train first thing in the morning. Anyways, it was just a thought as the reality is that there are a lot of days that once I’m out of class, I really don’t have a lot of time sometimes by the time I eat lunch and catch one of the early to mid afternoon buses out of there and go to the gym.

On being direct or just having more balls in general

It’s really funny, until I saw the dude go direct on the girl I wanted to open, I actually thought today was a fairly good day. I opened two really hot chicks without any real hesitation and I was calm, cool and confident in my approach once I decided to do it.

But man, sitting there on that couch listening to that dude try to pick up that chick I couldn’t help but feel like a fucking pussy! I really hate that feeling, because you can call me many names perhaps, but a pussy isn’t one of them. I mean I may be a ‘pussy’ when it comes to approaching, but the reality is that I’m anything but that in real life. So it really frustrates me when I feel that way because I sat back and did fuck all and watched some dude step up to do something that I couldn’t/wouldn’t do. Now like I said, I’d bet almost anything that even if he did end up with her number it would be a flake, but still, that’s irrelevant when it comes to my failure to act.

Just seeing that and having me sit there and witness it really ate at me, and motivated me at the same time. It’s really hard to put into words, but it really ran a whole spectrum of different emotions through my mind at the end of the day and during the bus ride home.

Believe it or not, I still have more to say, but I should probably cut this off here.

Another unfortunate thing is that there are only classes for Monday and Tuesday next week, then we have the rest of the week off. And usually for me it means next to no chances to pick up. I don’t know, the school is just so big and there are just so many girls there that going elsewhere or even considering other areas such as the grocery store as places to meet chicks just seems kind of hopeless to me. But sure, I’m always on the look out. But the grocery store, for example, would probably make me have to go more direct or bring me out of my comfort zone a lot, so depending how I felt, it might be a tough go.

Anyways, Friday’s are usually kind of dead at the school, but I’ll see what I can do. After having “school t-shirt girl” fall through, and letting the two hot chicks get away today and watching that direct approach, I really need to bounce back and get a phone number or something on the go.

First things first: BingoBerry has only within the last 10 days lost his virginity. His journal is filled with an almost satirical amount of social awkwardness and miscalibration. Thus, any advice he gives should be taken with several strong shakes of the salt shaker.

I'm happy you stepped up and was forthcoming with T-Shirt Girl. My impression is that she is probably open for the taking.

The girl sitting on the steps, turning to face "west" with you is about as blatant of a sign of interest as you are going to get in day game. Go hard in the paint at that point. The opener is fine/irrelevant, but I'd get pretty chatty, flirty, and direct with her pretty soon afterwards. And then Hail Mary should definitely be in the hip pocket at all times.

As far as the Asian Direct Dude, I wouldn't let it phase you. Simply let it motivate you. This may sound extreme, but how about just finding a random chick, going up to her and saying "Hey, I think you're beautiful" and then just walking away. No attachment to her reaction or whatever, just the action.

Also, as far as diet goes, I'm not sure this will apply to you but I have moved to a basic three-square meal (plus PWO shake and pre-bed eggs) eating schedule and it makes eating much easier than the entire every three-hours school of thought. And nearly all the scientifically backed research I was able to find supports the notion that it makes no difference on body composition. Just a thought as I only have to bring a lunch with me when I leave the house each morning. Granted, it is large and a lot of calories, but I just put it in a cooler with an ice pack. I also try to keep my eating home cooked, unless its with a chick or a social occasion or something like that.