Girl acts all cold suddenly...help??!!



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 7:07 am 
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Hi everyone,

so heres the situation,

Ive met this girl at a pub. We were talking a lot and hanging out a few times with friends. I got her number and we've been texting frequently.

So I asked her out the other day and we went to this nice little lounge kinda place.
We talked for hours. She even cancelled an appointment she had to go to.

I told her that I "kinda" play the guitar and she told me that she wanted to see it. She had one at her place so she invited me over. Good sign eh?

Back at hers we had a few drinks a laugh and I obviously played the guitar. Got her to sing even xD. Eventually we made out. She told me I have nice eyes and all that blablabla.

Now here comes the fucked up part. The days after, I dont text her. I wait...No response. So I decided to text her on the third day. She texted back....6 hours later. And ever since (bout a week ago) shes been acting real cold on my ass. only replying to what I text her. Never taking the initiative and being real shallow and short in her words.

I have no idea wtf I just did. Maybe shes not into me as I am. Maybe she doesnt want a relationship?? ( which I never asked for in the first place so...)

There is one more thing though. She has an exboyfriend who is a pain in the ass. Keeps harrassing her. Oh and he is a "gangster" kinda guy who owns a nightclub in town and is in the drugs business. And she told my friend (who asked her what she thought about me one night) that if she would date anyone else and he should find out, he'd make toast of that guy....she did say she liked me though..to my friend.

Could this be the reason? Is she being afraid?


thanks everyone!


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 1:15 pm 
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Hi everyone,

so heres the situation,

Ive met this girl at a pub. We were talking a lot and hanging out a few times with friends. I got her number and we've been texting frequently.

So I asked her out the other day and we went to this nice little lounge kinda place.
We talked for hours. She even cancelled an appointment she had to go to.

I told her that I "kinda" play the guitar and she told me that she wanted to see it. She had one at her place so she invited me over. Good sign eh?

Back at hers we had a few drinks a laugh and I obviously played the guitar. Got her to sing even xD. Eventually we made out. She told me I have nice eyes and all that blablabla.

Now here comes the fucked up part. The days after, I dont text her. I wait...No response. So I decided to text her on the third day. She texted back....6 hours later. And ever since (bout a week ago) shes been acting real cold on my ass. only replying to what I text her. Never taking the initiative and being real shallow and short in her words.

I have no idea wtf I just did. Maybe shes not into me as I am. Maybe she doesnt want a relationship?? ( which I never asked for in the first place so...)

There is one more thing though. She has an exboyfriend who is a pain in the ass. Keeps harrassing her. Oh and he is a "gangster" kinda guy who owns a nightclub in town and is in the drugs business. And she told my friend (who asked her what she thought about me one night) that if she would date anyone else and he should find out, he'd make toast of that guy....she did say she liked me though..to my friend.

Could this be the reason? Is she being afraid?


thanks everyone!
Did you have sex after she invited you to do so?

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 1:31 pm 
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Here is my two cents...

I feel like you guys connected on an emotional level. The fact that you were able to connect through music that way tends to escalate the emotional side of the things quickly, hell, even got her to sing (Though I'm sure the liquid courage may have helped that). I think the problem may have been in the fact that you didn't text her the next day.

There is this misconception that there are rules that HAVE to be followed about the follow up. They don't. You seem to have had a really good time with her. Text her the next day. You handled it like way too many of us do. you should have capitalized on the positive direction it was headed.

Soup doesn't taste as good when it's cold...You left this one off the stove too long.

-TA


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 1:51 pm 
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I didnt have sex with her. We just made out. once on the couch and a second time at the door right before I left.

But yh I thought about the same thing. I might have reacted too late. I guess I just wanted her to be the one making the first move. Which is kinda stupid on hindsight...
However is there a possibility to reheat the soup?

And im thinking asskissing isnt the right way. So I shouldnt make amends for it n say sorry n stuff right?


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 2:07 pm 
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I didnt have sex with her. We just made out. once on the couch and a second time at the door right before I left.

But yh I thought about the same thing. I might have reacted too late. I guess I just wanted her to be the one making the first move. Which is kinda stupid on hindsight...
However is there a possibility to reheat the soup?

And im thinking asskissing isnt the right way. So I shouldnt make amends for it n say sorry n stuff right?
Never apologize.
Make a new "date" follow through, and as OP says follow up!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 3:01 pm 
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thnx!

Is there still hope though?
Or is it a lost cause? Be honest!


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 3:54 pm 
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thnx!

Is there still hope though?
Or is it a lost cause? Be honest!
Sure there's hope! People in prison camps have hope.

anyway, you'll need to re-start from scratch. Re-open re-build comfort, AND re-build sexual TENSION!!!

Try This
1-vt125304.html?start=0

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 5:30 pm 
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Haha that is actually pretty good! xD

Oh btw someone adviced me to just ask her what the problem is.
To just ask her the reason for her weird behaviour lately.
What is your view on this? I thought it might come over as desperate.

And as an update:
I asked her out again and she said it was tempting....but shes pretty busy with school SPAM. (even though it is vacation) she has to "catch up" for school...or some shit.
Sounds a bit like a excuse to me?

I just said: I understand blablabla. But you are gonna have to make *insert food name* for me soon ;P ( we had this little chat bout it the last time we saw eachother).

She just said: Promised...

Dont really know what to make of all this.

P.s. I really appreciate ur help bro;)


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 5:53 pm 
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Oh btw someone adviced me to just ask her what the problem is.
To just ask her the reason for her weird behaviour lately.
What is your view on this? I thought it might come over as desperate.
I think you answered you own question here. She is certainly not going to admit that she has any problem. And why would you give a fuck if she did? Stop asking your Mom for advice!

Your going to need to rebuild comfort before she will meet up again. Just don't over do it!

Here is another good read for you.
list-of-text-messages-game-vt21175.html?highlight=

Get sexual with her too..

Like the "in bed" game!

Don't focus on just this girl, there are LOTS!

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 1:57 pm 
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Heywood has some good and bad points.

I feel like he is right in the sense that you shouldn't just focus on this girl. She seems to have quite the attitude when it comes to how she operates. If you want this to get better DONT play the in bed game. Too many PUA's go to that for shock value but very few woman respond well to that. They have to accept that they want to have sex with you on an emotional level before they are willing to go back and forth with that kind of banter.

You need to turn the table on her. She's obviously made you a pretty low priority if homework is more of an attractive option than going out with you for a few hours. You need to make sure she feels devalued. Because at this point I feel its kind of going down fast.

Tomorrow text her asking for her advice. tell her you met a girl in the grocery (or pick where ever to you) and she seemed really great and you don't want to blow it. from a girls point of view what would you think is the appropriate next step?

This will show you two things....

1. Is she really still interested? Or will this evoke anger, which at this point is at least something to go on. If she does get angry simply say"Well I felt like I was being blown off, I was being sent mixed signals and was under the impression we were gonna keep it in the friend zone"... if the conversation continues and gets corrected, boom, winner winner.

If she willingly gives the advice...She could care less.

You don't have to use it, but I know from the past seeing a girls reaction to this has worked a good 75 percent of the time.

Good luck!

-TA


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 6:42 am 
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Good advice, though if she is an insecure girl, a text like that will make her feel unappreciated and she would just move on...even if she were interested...wouldnt she?


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 1:30 pm 
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By sending the text you are simultaneously devaluing her while giving her value. You are showing that you are in control of the attraction while saying that you value her opinion.

-TA


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:21 pm 
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By sending the text you are simultaneously devaluing her while giving her value. You are showing that you are in control of the attraction while saying that you value her opinion.

-TA
Quote:
DONT play the in bed game. Too many PUA's go to that for shock value but very few woman respond well to that.
Bullshit! there is very little "shock value" here this is basic high school playful innuendo!
Quote:
Tomorrow text her asking for her advice. tell her you met a girl in the grocery (or pick where ever to you) and she seemed really great and you don't want to blow it. from a girls point of view what would you think is the appropriate next step?
This is good though, I like it.

You must get sexual early if you intend to have sex. I understand your "shock value" point, but Without sexual tension you’re just friends. Simple as that.

Women love tension. The “tighter” the string is the more excited they will get. Sometimes, to release this tension, they will laugh, giggle, or even get aggressive with you. If tension is too much and she cannot handle it, you might blow yourself out. So start slow....and build the tension with games ans teasing!

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 3:00 pm 
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Ex drama will always complicate things. So will texting. Not much good can ever come of texting. And when things go wrong, not much can be fixed by texting.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn


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