How do I reply if rejected?



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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 6:45 pm 
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What's up guys, here's what's going on...

I work at a large retail store. There's a girl in another department that I'm really into. Yesterday, I went to ask her out, but I froze up. The problem is we are in the same circle of friends at work...due to the fact that her sister works in my department.

Normally, I wouldn't give a damn and would go for it, but, I don't want any awkwardness when we're hanging out at work. I'm used to never seeing the girls, or their family members, after rejection.

Thanks for the help guys, needing it just in case, ya know?


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 7:14 pm 
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If she rejects you it's a perfect opportunity to learn how to be gentlemanly/mature about things and simply accept it and move on. A person rejecting you may have absolutely nothing against you, perhaps they are not looking for a relationship, or weren't 'moved' by your approach, or who knows maybe they like guys with a certain look that isn't you, bottom line the way people accept or receive us SHOULD NOT have any bearing on our self-acceptance - unfortunately social conditioning has turned us into validation junkies (judging ourselves based almost purely on how others' react to us).

Look, rejection is a part of life, if we allowed rejection to take hold of us all of the time we'd rarely amount to anything of significance. The people who succeed in this world are the ones who relentlessly pick themselves up after 'failure'/rejection and continue moving forward. Everyone gets rejected no matter how good looking, how talented, or how intelligent they may be. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 9:33 pm 
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A good rule of thumb that I sometimes manage to follow is: Dont shit where you eat.

Meaning, dont sarge at work if you can avoid it, it is gonna get ugly at some point and then it is not gonna be worth it. Unless you think that she is the one you wanna settle down with.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 12:04 am 
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Quote:
A good rule of thumb that I sometimes manage to follow is: Dont shit where you eat.

Meaning, dont sarge at work if you can avoid it, it is gonna get ugly at some point and then it is not gonna be worth it. Unless you think that she is the one you wanna settle down with.
Not necessarily, if you are well regarded at work and you are up front about things and aren't doing anything shady there's nothing to be concerned about. If the other person spreads rumors and others believe it without coming to you then let them, I couldn't care less.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 4:06 am 
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just ignore it like nothing happened you'll be fine just don't get awkward about it


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 7:40 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
A good rule of thumb that I sometimes manage to follow is: Dont shit where you eat.

Meaning, dont sarge at work if you can avoid it, it is gonna get ugly at some point and then it is not gonna be worth it. Unless you think that she is the one you wanna settle down with.
Not necessarily, if you are well regarded at work and you are up front about things and aren't doing anything shady there's nothing to be concerned about. If the other person spreads rumors and others believe it without coming to you then let them, I couldn't care less.
what ezo said is common advice for a reason, getting the girl and banging her or being ''rejected'' or what ever, is not always the problem with dating in the workplace, asking her out is the easy part, it's after you have already hooked up and emotions are running higher, there is usually someone that eventually wants out of the situation, and if it isn't mutual the two of you still have to be around each other at work, this can create problems in the work place, especially when you have some girl around that resents you for not dating her, or you have some guy who is butthurt and needy for some girl that he has to see every day that doesn't want to continue sleeping with him,

not saying this is anyone in particular, but if you look at some of the ''how do I get this girl at work'' posts, you'll find a lot of them are comming from a fairly needy place, where this is their, ''best and only shot'', imagine they took that shot, succeeded, got laid, then the girl descided she didn't want to continue, a guy like that is going to be needy as shit for that vagina while still having to see what he can't have all the time

then there is the ''positive rejection'' scenario where a guy who hasn't hit on many girls who fears rejection, gets a positive ego saving rejection, then when a girl tries to feign interest at work to save his ego, she ends up having some guy hitting on her trying to escalate cause he's unaware and not paying attention to compliance but watching what she says instead, then if the girl is too passive to say anything to his face it could eventually just lead to her going behind his back and claiming harassment when the guy was genuinely convinced she liked him and didn't realize she was just being nice to save him some face

dating girls from work can be easy cause it's convenient, but it can turn out to be more trouble then it's worth


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