| If there's one thing I'm good at it's acting. No matter how I feel, whether I'm angry or sad or embarrassed or nervous I can always keep a straight face and a cool head. Especially when talking to women. This talent has helped me out enormously and has for the most part helped me to take any setback in my stride. But now I'm afraid I'll crack. I'm nervous as all hell.
I've been flirting with this girl for the past couple of weeks. Very nice, very pretty. I have absolutely no doubt she's into me as much as I'm into her and right now I pretty much have her where I want her. I'm going out to the bar tomorrow (Thursday) night, that's when I'll take the leap. But that's also the problem, you see I pretty much had her in the same situation last week, I even led her away and had her by the hand, but I choked at the vital moment and couldn't close. Now I know what you guys are probably thinking, that I'm just an average user of this site bitching and moaning about how I am unlovable. Trust me though, that's not the case. I do pretty good given my circumstances and I get my fair share of girls. However, those girls are often nameless and faceless, a pair of tits on legs who I don't give two shits about. And there's the kicker, I can talk to wanton whores every day of the week but when it comes to a girl I have genuine feelings about I fucking choke like a fucking chump.
Normally when I see a post like this I give the same advice: "Don't fixate, take it easy, there are other girls," it's incredible how difficult it is to follow your own advice when you find yourself in that same situation. I've had other girls, and that life is starting to drag. I like this girl and I want things to go further, if that makes me gay then so be it. But the pressure on my shoulders at the moment is immense, I've seen her everyday this week during the day but never with any privacy. It feels as if every thing I've worked for is leading up to one pass or fail test, as if the entirety of my past and future with this girl is arching and culminating into on infinitely tiny fragment of time. Even as I write this I feel a little stupid but hey, this is how my brain works: obsessive, romantic and neurotic in equal measure. Trust me, sometimes it helps.
Anyway, what can I do to relieve myself of this pressure? How can I psyche myself up? How can I avoid my "just one more second mentality"?
I'll make a move, just one more second... one more... hold on... one more second, aaaaand it's gone. _________________ Now, bring me that horizon!
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