I feel like if you just move on if a girl isn't receptive she will more often than not come back for attention when she see's that you aren't worried about her, and that you are talking to other women. Usually when a girl I've stopped expressing interest in see's me out with another girl she'll text me.

I see rejection hurting your reputation the same way that losing hurts your reptuation. I see how your mature nice guy approach could work, but my experience is guys ridicule each other and girls gossip about you when you are rejected. They then form a view of you, your reputation. Then when they interact with you they seek to impose this view upon you. I usually never game people in my social circle, mostly strangers.

You are what you think you are, you are. What you subjectively believe determines the course of your life.

Confidence comes from experience and if an expereicne is significantly negative enough it will ruin a person. Scars don't go away.

what do you think my friends talk about more when it comes to my repuation?, the bizzilions of times I've got rejected by hot girls?, or the last time I fucked one and how they wish they could do it?

in reguards to girls and repuation inside social circles, just don't be needy, as long as you can read social cues and stop trying to escalate when she gives you clear signs of dis-interest and leave her alone, if she likes you as a person but isn't sexually attracted, you can guarentee she will be trying to help you out and make you feel good about yourself rather then trying to put you down and fuck you over, this perception of rejection being so negative doesn't even reflect reality, most girls try to save your ego as much as possible just for putting in the effort
my life contradicts the idea that negative experiences will ruin you, it just takes will power and determination to persist until success, without starting out a needy fat guy with no confidence, no self esteem, and a crazy fear of rejection, I would have never been able to face my fears and improve, if anything the negative side doesn't hurt worse and worse the more you experience it, it just makes you numb to those experiences and eventually it doesn't hurt or matter at all, it is the difference between being needy, and being indifferent, once you don't care, you don't care, when you do care, positive and negative matter, you just have to get to the point where the outcome doesn't matter

starting approaching to begin with is tough, being treated poorly and being passive about it is tough, learning to escalate is tough, going direct the first few times is tough but in the grand scheme of things you will regret none of these things, it is never the things you do that you regret, it's the things you don't do

not trying and giving it your all to avoid pain and be comfortable may protect your ego, but it will be the toughest of all when looking back on how you have lived your life and how things could have been better if you applied yourself more, eventually you just build up willpower and do it anyways if it is positive or negative, this concept will impact your whole life, acedemic performance, finances, social circles, women, personal fitness, the overall success in your life will come from how you choose to apply yourself and grow as a person

trying to avoid things out of fear, only holds you back, you have so much more potential then that and if you face the unknown, eventually it just becomes known and familiar, and it won't have as great of an effect on you

If you have to face something you have to face it, but you don't want to face something that will only break you down. I hope you understand what I mean by that. . .for instance, whats it matter if you have the courage to approach the girl if you don't have the confidence to avoid feeling humiliated if rejected. Its like this, a solider shouldnt go into battle if he doesn't also have a shield to protect him....
I don't know if you've ever been chewed out before, but there are times when it just rolls off you like water on a ducks back and there are times when it sticks in your gut. It sticks in your gut when you're not as confident. Its hard to build confidence with girls because people are so random..

Often times when people fail it breaks their heart, it takes the wind out of their sails, and it hurts their self-confidence and self-esteem. This depends the type of experience though. Sometimes failure can make you think its not that bad, but if you have put your all into something you really want well thats crushing and that experience can convince you that "i can't," "i'm not good enough"

I've heard that numb type desensitisation approach, I don't believe in it. Here's why? If you are exposed to shit long enough you eventually forget it stinks. Similarly, get rejected enough and you begin to expect rejection and even accept rejection.
1.) You begin to accept and expect bad shit
2.) It leaves you with scarring memories that are always in your memory to undermine your attitude.
3.) Negative experience reinforces negative feelings.

I suspect you have a huge ego and no confidence, you should go work on it as it is clouding your judgement. Your worrying about rejection to the point where it seems to own you. Your constantly worried about your ego and this is a huge problem. Your ego seems to form your opinion not you. "I don't want to get rejected na na na" with your fingers in your ears. Road to success always leads to failure, that is part of the formula for success.

You don't begin to accept and expect bad shit, you begin to realize that it isn't personal. Rejection usually isn't very personal, most guys take it personally and that is the problem. You should accept the fact that you won't be everyone's cup of tea, that is the truth of the matter. For you to think any differently really goes back to you having too much ego and no confidence.

You don't gained scarring memories if you understand that no one else influences your value but yourself, your mind is your reality. You can make it a scar or a learning experience that truly is up to you, rejection isn't a bad experience it is a learning experience. Ok so she didn't like me after I said bla bla bla, so next time I might want to be careful bringing that to the conversation with a girl. None of this should be scars, it should be learning experiences.

Think of it this way when you learned fire burned it wasn't because someone told you it was hot, it was because you burned yourself. However next time you touched a hot pan you likely used an oven mitt. Same concept you learn from your mistakes and thus change your tactics for performing a task. Your life and how you learn is a series of negative events that you learned from. We don't learn to read correct initially we make thousands of mistakes a long the way. We don't learn to drive without ever messing up, you don't ever learn to drive without ever driving either. Pick up is no different you don't learn to pick up girls by avoiding talking to them or rejection, you need it for the lessons it teaches you. Success teaches you less then failure.

Negative experience does reinforce negative feelings but that experience is only negative if you perceive it negatively. Your reality and your world is based on your perception of it. If you perceive rejection as negative it will be negative but if you perceive it as positive it will be positive. If you perceive rejection as just part of the process as it really is, it isn't negative it is just another experience you learn and adjust from.

Your ego is really the problem here, you need to deflate it and stop worrying about everyone elses opinion of you and you will be much happier and better off. I really recommend working on your confidence and instilling self-assurance, self-love, and self-belief. It is really in a necessity in happiness and becoming good with women.

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

That makes absolutely no sense, "You have a huge ego, but no confidence." Dude you probably don't even know what you mean when you say ego. If you have a huge ego then all you have is confidence. If you have a huge ego you're afraid of nothing, everything is comfortable, and you feel like "the world is yours." Honeslty, you don't know what you are talking about.

You see you talk like a guy that has accepted rejection. You talk like a guy that has been rejected so many times that you just think rejection will occur. It doesn't have to occur, but your stubborn with this limiting conviction born out of your own personal experience. I recommend you increase your confidence and learn to use your imagination. You're putting a limit on yourself son.

You talk like most guys that don't understand how feelings affect people. You have to protect yourself emotionally, because hurt feelings can ruin your life. You are ruining lives. This makes me sad, because you are ruining lives. Deflate egos? Shat on dreams? All you want to do is hurt people and limit their horizons. You think because you can't do certain things other people shouldn't be able to do those things because it would make you feel bad. It would feel bad to see someone else do it when you didn't. You're a hater.

Everything is personal. Everything. Everything is personal.

You do have scarring memories because once you have experience something a certain way you can't change that experience and that memory is with you until you die. Its just one more thing you have to overcom.

Deleted due to repost.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Deleted due to repost.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

No you actually don't have any clue what an ego is, Ego is seeking the approval, confidence is understanding the only approval you need is your own and having it. Two very different things. Pumpington has been lecturing you on it this whole time. If you have an ego but no confidence you are constantly fearing judgement or seeking approval of others, if you have confidence but no ego you care only of your own opinion of yourself.

Have you ever watched the movie American Psycho with Christian Bale? It's a movie about a guy that goes psycho obviously but his need for being the best or being better then others is so outstanding that he actually murders another guy because that guy's business card is nicer than his. This is an ego right here, possession of the best business card. You must look better then everyone else, you must have a value better than everyone else. That is an ego, NOT confidence. Ego is all about possessions and worrying about people's perception of you.

Confidence is the I don't give a fuck what you think. I don't care if she rejects me.

Ego is I don't want to get rejected, someone else might see.

For someone to be lecturing me on confidence you seem to have very little(none based on your fear of rejection or how someone else can change how you feel about yourself).

For someone to be lecturing me on women you seem to have very little if any skills with them. I'm assuming you are in high school.

YOU CAN'T BAG ALL THE WOMEN YOU GO AFTER. How ridiculous are you to think you can get every woman you go after. Hows this go after Jennifer Aniston, Megan Fox, Mila Kunis, Natalie Portman, Jennifer Connelly, Scarlet Johannson, Emma Stone, Jessica Alba, and Rihanna. If you bagged ONE of those I'd be impressed, hell if you got one of those women to have a conversation with you for 2 minutes I'd be impressed, but you wouldn't even get that. You'd be so busy trying to build value that you wouldn't realize you either have it or you don't, it's not about building value it's about being high value and just having fun with the girl.

I don't have a limiting conviction I have a realistic attitude, you can't get every woman, hopefully with me mentioning 10 of the hotter women celebrities you understand that your statement is asinine. I am very good with women I literally build attraction with 80% plus of women out there, most people like me and I have a natural charisma with a side very strong confidence, I still can't get every woman I go after. That is being realistic, not unrealistic, I just don't fit some girls' type what do you do? Who cares? It ain't personal.

If an outside source affects how you feel about yourself it is your ego, if you keep your frame and maintain your emotional state, you have confidence.

I don't have to protect myself one bit, nobody changes how I feel about myself. This should be your frame as well. Don't act like I'm some guy that had all this confidence and now I don't, I know what a huge ego is because I had one. I know what confidence is because now I have it. Trust me, confidence and ego are not even at all close to the same. You may feel confident with a big ego temporarily but your ego requires constant attention if you want to feel confident. With confidence you have it and need nothing to keep it.

I'm ruining lives by making people control their emotions and stand up to life? WTF????? Are you serious? In fact you teaching others to run from rejection has got to be one of the most limiting concepts I've read on here in a minute.

I'm not here to limit anyone or hurt anyone, if you think that you certainly have a lot more to learn about me. I'm here trying to help you, and you (your ego really) is getting in the way of all of us on here "who have been through it all" help you.

Where did I say anyone couldn't do certain things?(outside of recently when I said you couldn't get any of those celebrities) I said you can't succeed with out failing, that isn't my statement, that is the truth. Walk up to a millionaire (experienced self-made) and ask him how many times he failed along the way. Walk up to an NFL QB ask him how many interceptions he threw. Failure is an inevitable part of success, everyone who has success knows that. Everyone who hasn't reached success fears failure, I know you aren't a success with the statement you made alone.

Why on earth is everything personal? Is this really your mindset? Are you really this narcissistic that the world makes everything personal about you? WOW! Why do you need pick up? Just have the world change to what you want it to.

EVERYONE HAS SCARRING MEMORIES. Why is this news? Do you understand how we develop into the people we are? I'm saying once you understand rejection isn't personal it won't be a big deal, it's not a scar, hell it's not even a bruise. It's just another moment where some girl missed out on meeting you. Yes your confidence should be at a point where a rejection is nothing because it really is nothing.

If you would like some help understanding confidence I'd be more than happy to help with it but don't try and give explanations on things you know nothing about. You keep asking questions then refusing the answers. I gave you the only possible way to never experience rejection, be high value and respond properly, this is something you won't have until you gain confidence (which ironically requires failure lol). That said it takes a lot of fine tuning to get to the point where you respond at the proper rate and attract the ladies from all around, so yes you still fail.

Getting rejected isn't a big deal man, don't make it one. We all get rejected, the best naturals I know, Mystery, some of the other pick up guys I've met around here, everyone gets shut down here and there. It happens less and less as you get better but you need to learn from your mistakes, it is how humans learn, it is how artificial intelligence was designed.

Your attitude is more never try never fail, it should also be noted that never fail never succeed.

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Why are so many things you think so wrong??? Because you haven't been taught. You need to be taught...

Your ego is how you think of yourself. Confidence comes from thinking of yourself in a positive and powerful light. When you respect someone you think of them as valuable, powerful and good. How you treat your self and how others treat you affect how you think of yourself (ex: think of how your family, friends and even strangers affect your opinion of yourself) and therefore affect your confidence.

As far as confidence, everyone starts from a different place given their experience, family, and how they have been socialized (These things stay with you and affect you although you aren't aware). What one man accomplishes may not be as grand as another man but it can still be more significant given where their confidence has come from (example: a child born in poverty making $70,000 a year versus a child born rich making a million a year.) Most people that have confidence have been privileged to come from a norturing home, were accepted by their friends, and were given many good experiences.

Honestly, I know people and I know I could ruin you mentally (I know the art of skull duggery and underhanded tactics); everyman can be broken, it just takes enough pressure and time. You have fears and insecurities that can be exploited and amplified. I can take you out of your comfort zone and eventually you will disintegrate. I am Obi-Wan-Kenobi, you're Anakin. I am Yoda, you are R2D2. I'm the Jedi-Master.

I believe I can get those women and I will go to my grave believing it. The sky is the limit, that's just a fact; I can do anything I set my mind to.

Everything is personal, because how someone treats you always reflects how they think of you. "Everything is Personal"~Thats from "The Godfather" (the novel, not the movie).

Failure is a part of success if learning the hard way by trial and error, and these experiences can be scarring jjust like when you touch fire for the first time you can disfigure yourself. It is better to have a mentor and just do what they tell you. You can totally avoid failure that way. You don't want to fail, you want to succeed. Most NFL quaterbacks don't start right away because failure and hardship can totally ruin a quaterback. You have a throw em to the wolves philosophy, you have a sink or swim attitude. I don't put a man or myself into a situation until I feel that my development can cope with it.

~Your Trainer

You make confidence sound like a choice and confidence is about as much of a choice as building a house is a choice.

Now that American Pyscho example was bad. That is just an example of pride and weird rationality. Its pride to think you have to always be better than someone. Its weird reasoning to a business card is something to fight over

I don't like giving girls compliments and them showing disinterest either.

Happened to me today in my last class. I slipped her a note saying hey wahts good? Nice sweater. She never wrote back, and when we got into groups she gave me the note back and said thank you. She is a few years older so many she knows that she is getting hit on. But damn.

_________________
Try to live your life like your dream is real

Why do you ask questions for answers you've already figured out? I don't get it. You already began this redundancy in another thread. Look . . . we get it. You've been hurt. This hurt drives you. You'd like to shove some fear to others. Just go do it. You don't need our approval. In fact, your primary goal isn't even pick up. Read your own posts and think about how much of it leads to pick up. You continue to go back to this topic:
How did you come up with ^this? Did you imagine it after thinking of your personal experiences? TV shows? Comic books? What the fuck does ^this have to do with pick up? You think too much but the problem is that you're underqualified to think. If strangers reading your writing can recognize this, the people you meet will become aware of your predicament within 10 minutes.

I will at least suggest a decent routine that will 100% match you and your personality. Since you are the know-it all asshole here. . . you might as well as make it work for your love life. Women LOVE this type of thing and the beauty is that you don't even have to act it. . . just be yourself (Other than the very last part where you smile to show that it was all a joke. If they perceive you to be a genuine know-it all asshole, they'll run. . . but more on that later)

So no matter who you meet, what she does, what her experiences are and what her qualifications may be, just do what you do here. Act like the know-it all asshole. So you meet a Wall Street bonds broker and you "confidently" whisper, "Don't let the name fool you. Junk bonds aren't exactly junk Missy. You see, high yielding bonds are making a come back and it's all due to improved management. Fear, yelling, horror movies. That's what motivates. Peter Drucker? Jack Welch? Morons! Support your employees? Ha, ha, don't make me laugh. You want to double your sales? You sell investment portfolios balanced out right? Good! Well listen then. You best be yelling at your boys on the trading floor! Tell them to sell short cause you got no time for long. Drive fear into them! Fear motivates!

----Now this is the important part right here. This is where you smile, laugh, and offer a high five. Then her awkward silence + look will explode into laughter and a hug.

Here's what happens if you do not do this very important step.

Girl: You're a moron, I'm a bonds broker.

You: Durh, hurh, hurh. You know jack shit about Wall Street!

The problem with you and your threads of late is that you skipped the very important step I mentioned above.

Oh, I didn't read your latest post prior to writing my own here but it's a gem. You could tell all the girls you meet that you're Chewbacca and she's C3PO. Arggghhhh!. . .

Your ego isn't how you think of yourself your ego is your need for attention basically. Now that is a direct definition. Here is a great article on the ego. http://deoxy.org/egofalse.htm Hopefully you can see where I am coming from after reading this and understand what I am talking about.

Confidence is absolutely a choice, building a house is a choice as well, just like confidence it requires you learning a lot of different things to create the right house with a proper firm foundation and to your style. You choose to build your confidence through your actions or you choose to hurt confidence through your actions and mental awareness (lack there of). It is absolute conscious effort.

I agree it was weird but bad it is not. HIS EGO CONTROLS HIS ACTIONS LIKE YOUR EGO CONTROLS YOUR MINDSET. Egos are something you need to keep in check. It wasn't a reason to fight over it was literally him killing him because his business card was nicer. It was his lust for being the best. The ego is just as irrational with most of it's emotions why do you care if someone thinks of you a certain way? Or if you have a worse business card? How does it actually effect the value you hold on yourself?

If you think you can break me down you've never actually met someone like me. People give words value, I do not. People take things personally I don't care. Go watch my videos call me stupid whatever I don't think you could possibly ever break me down. This is something you don't seem to understand I understand interrogation, I understand finding someone's life source and taking away. Embarrassing, humiliating, taking everything including intimacy away.

I understand more then you do about using the power of imposing fear on others. You can't break someone when you don't matter, I understand more about then mind you realize. Let me tell you how bad I was at a point I was referred to as Victator the Dictator (my name is Victor). I once had a contest to see how many people I could make cry in a month (6) at work. (Not something I'm proud of). A manager pissed me off once and at that moment I decided to make her cry and did. It isn't hard to do that to somebody but when you understand their tactics they lose their affect. When you have confidence it doesn't matter, nothing else does. It really has been the best thing I've ever worked on.

I understand perception and why it is important to know what you are going to be perceived as but at the same time I will never let anyone influence what I perceive myself as. This should be your perception of confidence. Every judgement of you is based off a behavior, a behavior isn't who you are, it isn't your value, you give yourself your value and other people will agree if you have social skills.

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com