OK so. I know I am being an idiot, but I've been texting this girl for a month now.

This hasn't stopped my game, exactly, so it's not really irreversible. Am heading out this weekend, and have regularly been number closing over the last few weekends - a combination of bad luck and poor decision making has stopped me getting anything more.

But this other girl I have been texting, who to be honest is the one I really want, has now stuck me in the text buddy limbo. And it's a hellish situation to be in, if you actually have any interest in being with the girl you're trying to build rappore with.

Anyway, basically, what has gone wrong is... at first, got to meet her a few times, agreed, did some fun stuff - coffee's, dates, went to an event. And it went great. Kino, lots of laughing, real good stuff. But. Never kiss-closed. Never felt like there was a right time, sadly. Never managed to get any drinking or -fun- involved which is a killer for me, as there never seems to be an easy way to kiss a sober girl for the very first time. Part of me wishes I had just gone for it the last time, even though it was in an awkward place - her ushering me away from her place because a friend of hers was coming in like, 30 minutes. But I didn't, and now it's all gone weird. Which is understandable.

I had, 2 weeks ago, basically severed the connection when she refused to meet me that weekend - she came up with some crappy excuse / ignored what I said, so... said "was good to meet you, all the best" that sort of thing. She didn't send any reply, so I forgot about her for a few days, which sent me back to my old self - thinking about the bext weekend, actually had a girl to meet that Friday, and met some other girl on the same night, like I said- bad luck and poor decisions by myself screwed all that up. Life was okay again.

But, she eventually texted back a few days later, apologising for not replying. And we've kind of still been texting since. I don't understand the deal.

I know I should just move on, and back off, and just accept that honestly, there's not much I can do to get back to even day 1 week 1 attraction any more, but I guess I was wondering if there's any plan of action to fix this stuff. If there's not, there's not. But thought I'd ask here, as if anyone could tell me, you guys could.

Honestly would be happiest if she just flat out said "I am sorry but I'm not interested" but like... I know exactly the real way that women say that, and they say that by not saying anything at all. So why is she texting me at all? Just... bored at work?

Thoughts?

ok...

you know how when you're with your friends and a girl texts you outta the blue?

how does that make you feel? how does it make you look to your friends?

you know how when you're with a girl and another girl texts you outta the blue?

How does it make you feel? how does it make you look to the girl?

socially proofed and pre-selected.

girls do the same thing.

stop texting her.

So there's no reverse for TEXT BUDDY HELL? Just... exit stage left, end the game, move on? I sort of expected as much. Think I just needed a second opinion, thank you!

always exit when you're at a loss of what to do.....thats my philosophy.

nothing seems like a good idea because nothing is a good idea.....except leaving with dignity.

Stop being a pussy ass bitch, get her over to your place to watch a movie

And if you don't bang her...

all hope is lost

It isn't QUITE that simple. This isn't a frat-boy college relationship with some dumb eager to please college chick, I'm afraid. In so saying, you're pretty much right

Had a similar situation. Then I asked out out on a date. We went on a few dates. But she pretty much made it clear that she didn't want a relationship (she is one of the pure girls who is waiting for marriage yet has never had a boyfriend). So then I stopped texting her. It is hard to do. But you will get over it.

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Try to live your life like your dream is real

dude it's easy, what's your text log look like? That's going to be the main factor of fucking her.

And for not kiss closing... bro it's literally nothing. I challenge you go out to a bar/club one night, and your goal is to just go kiss girls within 30 seconds of meeting them. After a lot of blow outs, and to your surprise a lot of makeouts, it's easy

it's actually pretty close to that simple,

you can just start to reduce rapport with her over text by giving her delayed responses, or countering her ploy for text conversations with invites out, just make them non chalant so you don't look desperate, like you don't care if she meets or not, but it's clear you're not into texting

stuff like

her: HEY BLAH BLAH BLAH?
you: oh hey, what's up blah blah?
her: BLAH BLAH BLAH
you: cool, yo I'm kind of busy right now, but you can come over here if you are bored
her: (either agrees and comes over, or goes non responsive/has stupid excuse or asks why or ''what will we do?'' *answer is movie, or cook food together*)

it actually gets pretty funny doing this when a girl really wants your attention and regularily gives excuses, it's like they feel the need to come up with some random reason why like you care every single time

eventually when you are really bored with it, you can just start ignoring her, she'll stop eventually

anyother interesting strategy that has been really hit and miss, is just a straight up hail mary, just do something that demonstrates full intentions with a break to the rapport, so for example

''listen, I want to see you, and I'm not interested in texting, I find you really attractive and can't stop thinking about kissing you, I can't handle texting with you without being able to see you anymore''

that or qualifying her to a meet, then have a spaz attack on her for flaking after she qualified that she wouldn't, that can also reframe then you can play the position of the butthurt victim, and start flaking on her until she is trying to please (this sort of thing sucks and has only worked a couple times on girls that are invested, borderline manipulation)

I like the last two for when you are not interested in having her contact you anymore, follow up the ''hail mary'' by deleting her number and leaving things in her court

Spot on Pumpington, liked your post a lot, and it looks pretty similar to the situation I've got now.

As an update here, I actually managed to arrange a visit to her house to get drunk next weekend. So she has now qualified to a meet.

It was basically done entirely through texting, which makes it all the more miraculous.

Lot of work went into it, can explain how in more detail if anyone else ever gets stuck in the same crappy text-buddy situation and wants to know more, but essentially, I just went a bit cold, still kept in touch - and laid it on the line after I told her I had arranged to meet this girl (which I did indeed) last weekend.

For all intents and purposes though, the idea of pre-selection even works through texts. Still think there's a probability that she will probably mess me about and pull the plug when it comes to the day itself, but we'll see, and then I'll throw a spaz like you say, and she can either over-qualify or go find someone else because I've had enough - am at a stage where I am getting number closes and kiss closes every weekend and sheer bad luck is preventing anything else from happening.