One true love in life?



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PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 7:20 pm 
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Another problem I have with true love talk is the problem I have with non-single people in general. They are so depressing and boring to be around. Part of it is because they don't have the same things in common with you anymore, since they can't enjoy pursuing women. But the other part is that they sit there and talk about how great their partner is, sometimes saying they are their soulmate, which you also can't relate to. It's especially hard to swallow when you know the person is just settling and his girl is far from anything you'd EVER want to call a soulmate. I mean, if their girl is there in the room with you, I can understand the lip service aspect of it. He says what he knows she needs to hear to make her happy and then he's done his job. But if it's just you and him, he's should man up and just admit that while his girl is a good match for him, she's far from his one true love.

One true love is like a three-legged unicorn dancing in a pot of gold in the lost city of Atlantis. I'm pretty fucking sure that shit don't exist.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 6:42 am 
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Although you were the one who undetstood me correctly,you didn't understand my humor...

I'm not trying to be cooler or any of that shit...I'm.just enjoying some self humor..and hoping you will to.

My history on this forum speak louder than my rant here.
They should deinitely make a font for that kind of stuff.. To me it just looked like you were trying to offend them :P

Anyhow, if there by some chance actually would exist something like "One true love" it would only be depressing to think about.. Your chances of meeting that woman would be lower than stumbling across an artifact that you could sell and live happily the rest of your life..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeZMIgheZro[/youtube]

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 12:21 pm 
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Really?

I dont remember how many billion people we have on the planet but lets say that there are a billion women of the right age and whatever.

Now the main part of the happily married men who live with their "soulmate" or "one true love" have found them in the same city, same neighbourhood, speaking the same language. How big is that chance? Coincidence? How big is the chance that the one out of a billion women who is your one true love will be among the 10 girls in your biologyclass? Very close to zero.

There are a lot of possible one true loves. Thing is, when you find one of them, you stop seeing the others, until you are bored. Your one true love is nothing but you one biggest ONEitis, regardless of if you marry her or not. You dont see the ones who would be better because, you are completely satisfied with what you have. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Be happy your mind tricks you because otherwise you wouldnt ever be happy.

that's a false logic my friend. Your requirements for the "perfect girl" are too low because you only look at your compatibility. Why not look at logistics as part of how perfect for you she really is? What if she died even before you were born? Then she isn't that perfect anymore is she? The same way, assuming world is at least partially deterministic, a woman you can never meet isn't perfect for you then. Even if she is your perfect match.

It's true that purely due to law of large numbers there will be plenty of women with pretty much precisely same compatibility but you have to take other things into consideration of how "perfect" she is for you.

Also, compatibility is quite overrated. Every (i think it was 5 or 6) years, no single cell in your body is the same, also people keep evolving thought their lives. Even if at the point in your life when you met her she is "perfect" for you, there is no guarantee that you'll evolve in the same way. (I'm not even gonna talk about how quickly atoms change in your body so technically, every millisecond you're a slightly different creature)

As far as love goes, the best description I've found so far was in a fortune cookie.
It said something like: "Love is seeing yourself in the other and joy that comes with it."


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 6:15 pm 
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One true love is like a three-legged unicorn dancing in a pot of gold in the lost city of Atlantis. I'm pretty fucking sure that shit don't exist.
LMAO!!

I just broke-up with my gf of almost 3 years in order to see what it's like being with other women (also because we fought a lot about stupid shyt and I felt she didn't appreciate me or show that she appreciated regularly. Sure we would cuddle and be happy and she would tell me how much she loved me...but her actions leading up to or after her saying these things made me confused).

Thanks for putting a smile on my face bud!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 2:34 am 
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"They should deinitely make a font for that kind of stuff.. To me it just looked like you were trying to offend them :P"


Hahah...No prob' man.
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Anyhow, if there by some chance actually would exist something like "One true love" it would only be depressing to think about.. Your chances of meeting that woman would be lower than stumbling across an artifact that you could sell and live happily the rest of your life..


I fully agree.

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is-too-much-trust-bad-ie-she-thinks-ill-vt123851.html


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 9:40 am 
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Really?

I dont remember how many billion people we have on the planet but lets say that there are a billion women of the right age and whatever.

Now the main part of the happily married men who live with their "soulmate" or "one true love" have found them in the same city, same neighbourhood, speaking the same language. How big is that chance? Coincidence? How big is the chance that the one out of a billion women who is your one true love will be among the 10 girls in your biologyclass? Very close to zero.

There are a lot of possible one true loves. Thing is, when you find one of them, you stop seeing the others, until you are bored. Your one true love is nothing but you one biggest ONEitis, regardless of if you marry her or not. You dont see the ones who would be better because, you are completely satisfied with what you have. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Be happy your mind tricks you because otherwise you wouldnt ever be happy.

that's a false logic my friend. Your requirements for the "perfect girl" are too low because you only look at your compatibility. Why not look at logistics as part of how perfect for you she really is? What if she died even before you were born? Then she isn't that perfect anymore is she? The same way, assuming world is at least partially deterministic, a woman you can never meet isn't perfect for you then. Even if she is your perfect match.

It's true that purely due to law of large numbers there will be plenty of women with pretty much precisely same compatibility but you have to take other things into consideration of how "perfect" she is for you.

Also, compatibility is quite overrated. Every (i think it was 5 or 6) years, no single cell in your body is the same, also people keep evolving thought their lives. Even if at the point in your life when you met her she is "perfect" for you, there is no guarantee that you'll evolve in the same way. (I'm not even gonna talk about how quickly atoms change in your body so technically, every millisecond you're a slightly different creature)

As far as love goes, the best description I've found so far was in a fortune cookie.
It said something like: "Love is seeing yourself in the other and joy that comes with it."
I meant "perfect" as in "she is oh so perfect, my soulmate and whatever crap". Of course, if you could express a girls compatibility with you in the form of a function and get a real hardcore value out of it, yes one girl would end up on top and she would be "the one" or at least the best one.
I dont say that we cant but Im saying that the time spent calculating that would be better spent sleeping with the rest of the top 1000 girls you find sufficiently attractive. The chance of you finding the "one" is so small that you probably wont.
Now I said perfect girl because I mean someone who is so good that we are willing to stick with that one despite the fact that there may be someone even better out there.

Logistics is definately a part of it and it has to be taken into account but that is a part of what makes a girl perfect, availability. Unavailable sorts her out from the girls you can choose from but that also depends on what you consider available. is living in another city unavailable? For some it is, for some it isnt.

In real life, the top 1% of the girls will all feel equally perfect to you and scoring one of them will make you believe that you have found "the one" even though she is one of many.

Doesnt really matter as long as youre happy right?

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 6:07 pm 
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Someone has actually done the sums of you finding your one true soul mate if there is only one:
http://what-if.xkcd.com/9/
His calc says that 1 in 10,000 people /see/ their soul mate in their lifetime. Note, 'see', not live happily ever after with.

Say that there are 1,000,000 characteristics that make up your soul mate. Yeah, there might only be one that has all million, but I'll bet that there are a LOT who are so close that you couldn't tell the difference.

Frankly, your chance is directly related to a) how much you're willing compromise and b) how many people you approach.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2012 11:08 pm 
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that was pretty much my point. If you had a compatibility number, and ranked women, on it, you'd have to eliminate all those that aren't available (dead, not born yet, too far etc.) Thus that perfect soulmate would be an ultimate combination of availability and compatibility.

True availability depends on a person. It depends on how much you approach. The larger the pool of women to choose from, the higher the chance of finding someone you'll be happy with.

As long as you're happy it doesn't really matter whether she's that perfect 1 or number 4282931891st on the ranking of being perfect for you.

But I do think that on average, you'll have to hit some kind of number of approaches tberefore you meet someone you're genuinely happy with. Can be lucky and hit homerun with 1st attempt and live happily everafter, but chances are it's gonna be more than that.

Waaay more.

But there is another important variable. You.

You have to consider whether things you're looking for really matter to you or are just social norms pushed into your head throughout your life.

Thus, best compass in my opinion is feeling. Are you happy with her? Yes? great. No, fix what's making you unhappy or move on.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2012 7:38 am 
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that was pretty much my point. If you had a compatibility number, and ranked women, on it, you'd have to eliminate all those that aren't available (dead, not born yet, too far etc.) Thus that perfect soulmate would be an ultimate combination of availability and compatibility.

True availability depends on a person. It depends on how much you approach. The larger the pool of women to choose from, the higher the chance of finding someone you'll be happy with.

As long as you're happy it doesn't really matter whether she's that perfect 1 or number 4282931891st on the ranking of being perfect for you.

But I do think that on average, you'll have to hit some kind of number of approaches tberefore you meet someone you're genuinely happy with. Can be lucky and hit homerun with 1st attempt and live happily everafter, but chances are it's gonna be more than that.

Waaay more.

But there is another important variable. You.

You have to consider whether things you're looking for really matter to you or are just social norms pushed into your head throughout your life.

Thus, best compass in my opinion is feeling. Are you happy with her? Yes? great. No, fix what's making you unhappy or move on.
Agreed, also remember that what you are looking for or what you need may change as you yourself change. We all develop interests and skills important for who and what we are.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 6:47 pm 
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If you've always had a best guy friend since you were a kid and you have this exact type of relationship with a women + she cooks, cleans, motivates you to be a good man, shares your faith, is really good at something you like, gives good sex without having to ask for it, she likes to travel, and will be a kick ass mom then why not? When you're 40+ you're not going to be pulling off all these HB's and be fulfilled. Sorry but these people have hardened their heart and their advice is no good, they are way to long gone to be pure again. You'll wish you had the one who was all that and a bag of chips. There are girls out there, but you have to also put in the effort to work with her and actually listen to her not just hear what she is saying. You have to get her to be transparent to you and she should not feel threatened by you to communicate her feelings and what she is thinking. You'll have to want to be her Man, and not want to see anyone else with her having the life you wished.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 7:19 pm 
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In my eyes, I only have one true love in my life. That person will be there when I wake up, be home when I come home from work, and be there to lay with me at night.

That person is myself.

There's a theory out there about "The Alabaster Girl" who is supposed to be the ideal, perfect girl. Personally I think this so-called Alabaster Girl is a physical manifestation of a man's unmet needs and unfulfilled wishes. I also think perfect is boring, conflict is what helps two people grow together (although I wouldn't recommend intentionally causing drama).

In the end, I think taking care of yourself is the number one priority. If you happen to meet a female (or another guy if you're into that) that happens to complement you, take em along.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 4:35 pm 
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In my eyes, I only have one true love in my life. That person will be there when I wake up, be home when I come home from work, and be there to lay with me at night.

That person is myself.

There's a theory out there about "The Alabaster Girl" who is supposed to be the ideal, perfect girl. Personally I think this so-called Alabaster Girl is a physical manifestation of a man's unmet needs and unfulfilled wishes. I also think perfect is boring, conflict is what helps two people grow together (although I wouldn't recommend intentionally causing drama).

In the end, I think taking care of yourself is the number one priority. If you happen to meet a female (or another guy if you're into that) that happens to complement you, take em along.

@ShadowSketched : Well spoken buddy!

_________________
"Hank Moody: I love women, I have all of their albums."

"Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici."

Read This One:
is-too-much-trust-bad-ie-she-thinks-ill-vt123851.html


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 3:27 am 
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One day one woman will walk into your life, and make ALL the rest look like practice, you may or may not always keep her, but none other will ever compare......
My fiancée said something to the same affect about me after she proposed to me. I believe it's true and it was a very nice thing to hear from a girl.

I do believe in soul mates but I also believe that there are many girls that can fill this function. However it's rare that you come across them! I'm now 27 and I've been dating girls for 12 years and I can confidently say that I feel stronger about my fiancée than any other girl I've met. Is it oneitis? Well I'd argue no as I'm secure enough to let her be her own person and I've no jealousy issues! She has never given me a reason to get jealous! At the age of 27 if I have to wait another 12 years to find this then ill be 39...

We are getting married in under 3 weeks so I guess I'm about to test my soulmate theory ;)


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 3:58 am 
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There are happilly married puas from this forum that have retired. Some of the biggest names in our community have retired from "gaming" because they found their true love. Adam Lyons and Papa have married! These two gentleman have litterally reached the pinnacle of the community. They could have and have had many beautiful women. Yet they choose to settle with one! Alot of guys with extra high lay counts 200+ arent happy with picking up random chicks anymore. Shit I know guys with 50+ lay counts that even say they are unhappy with promiscous relationships. I also know guys that cant get any satasfaction. If you havent met a girl that is "enough" mentally and physically your going to doubt that your "one true love" exists. Since you have never experienced it, to you it doesnt exist its nothing more than an ideal. If you have found a girl that you think is your true love ofcourse your going to say she exists because shes tangible to you. Humans are naturally skeptical its hard to believe in things that arent tangible or proven.

Do I believe in soulmates. Havent found her yet , so not yet i dont :lol:


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