HB8 extremely offended by text opener...how to proceed?



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thebigtone
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2012 12:22 am 
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DON'T follow that up with serious stuff like you clearly can't take a joke. Something like "haha, you know i'm only winding you up, I'd never be soo rude as to suggest you need to be working out... don't take life too seriously, come and have a drink and if you still don't like me you can just spend the evening being rude back to me, as long as you buy me a drink..."
Maybe that wasn't perfect but something less serious and playful, don't just tell her she is a bitch, that's not gonna work!

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Dr. Jones
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 3:48 am 
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Why don't you text her back, "Rude? I was inviting you to play mahjong with me. What kind of exercise did you think I meant?"

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JamesWatson31
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 8:34 am 
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I would say 'Think you sent a message to the wrong person'

'I sent you text asking you for drinks and thought that maybe we could play tennis, golf. running etc. - delete whatever.

"Check your phone"!

May or may not get a response though.
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thebigtone
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 2:38 pm 
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problem here is if you say I meant tennis/mahong etc. you acknowledge it. She was obviously offended so I would try and brush over it in a jokey way and move on to another point in the same message, you don't want her to dwell on it.

Have you sent anything back yet?
let us know how it's going?

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Quiche
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 6:43 pm 
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Continue strong. Say that you didn't mean to offend her but don't take back what you said. Personally I fucking hate text game and only arrange meet-ups with it, my entire sense of humor doesn't connect through the phone. Don't ask her to meet up again through text, gauge her reaction and approach again in the gym/next her.

All that's just advice.
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dumdum85
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:40 pm 
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Hey guys. So, I responded with,

"Really didn't think you'd get offended. I can respect a woman who stands up for herself, but I don't think I was being rude. If you can't take a simple joke, you're probably not my type."

She didn't respond - didn't expect her to.

I'll probably see her at gym again and then see where it goes. She's cute, but I think backing down would have been the worst option. Thanks for all the replies and the discussion.
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thebigtone
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 4:58 pm 
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"If you can't take a simple joke, you're probably not my type." - I think that was too strong, the only way she is responding here is if she is REALLY in to you, I think you should have brushed over it.
Nevermind let us know if you get any more chat with her!
Good luck and remember... plenty more...!

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CaliForniCatioN
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2012 1:21 pm 
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Pumpington NAILED it! This guy can give lessons to the entire MPUA forum while he's shiting..

Don't forget you are the male in this biz' so act like one..it's a shit test most likely..be CONGRUENT!

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TruthofTomorrow
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 9:27 am 
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I don't know what the f is wrong with all you key-jockies and AFC's.

Now this topic is old, but for future reference, I would probably play innocent. Like: "What? I was thinking about doing lunges, what were you thinking? :)"
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Thedutchone
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 12:08 pm 
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I think maintaining ground is your best option.
Try saying something within the lines of "I don't think I was rude, but regardless of that, if you can't take a simple joke then you're really not my type. I won't be enjoying my drinks."
+1

And don't ever ask a girl out with such a sexual underlining joke. That really is a no-go.
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AznPersuasion
PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 4:26 pm 
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it's just asd, hold your frame, stay congruent, pass the shit test etc.

''really? you would have met me for a drink but you've been dis-respected? when exactly did I dis-respect you? you're not that type of girl? what type of girl do you believe I am implying you to be? one that has a sense of humor?... can't believe I even asked you out... so weird''

also please don't even take advice from the guys in this thread trying to advise you to be more reactive, this is pretty normal and a girl doesn't have to be ''slutty'' to accept these sort of advances, she simply has to be more into you, she might even just be reacting this way as an excuse because she doesn't want to see you and didn't like your approach at the gym, and now that she's safe behind her phone she can tell you off in safety to get a little ego boost, just don't take her shit, stay certain of yourself and roll with it without becoming too rude or losing your cool, just don't seek her approval on this one, you've done nothing wrong that deserves an apology or anything, she's just over-reacting, call her out on it, and if she's actually interested the situation will re-frame
Yes. This. Who really knows if she's actually offended? Even if she is, the best thing you can do is to stand your ground and act like SHE'S the one misbehaving. You need to move the ball into her court and if she doesn't respond, then she loses and you move on to the next girl.
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Cartesiand
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 2:51 am 
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I don't know if this was said but you probably shouldn't have downplayed the elliptical but actually the opposite.
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Don Horneone
PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 6:05 am 
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So thanks for yhe invitation, but I don't make it a habit of hanging out with guys who are blatantly rude to me.
Well maybe it's time to broaden your horizons...

;)
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Fatale
PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 4:03 pm 
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Met girl at gym. Opened by asking what she was doing today. She said elliptical. I went ok rant about how elliptical is easiest exercise in gym. She makes herself available to me afrer she is done. Number close.

My text: hey...its name from the gym. Meet me for a drink tomorrow. I guarantee more excercise than the elliptical...

Her response: well name, from the gym, I probably would have met yoy for drinks...if you haven't followed up that interaction with a text that was so suggestice and disrespectful. I am not that type of girl and I am pretty sure that I didn't do anything to imply that I was. So thanks for yhe invitation, but I don't make it a habit of hanging out with guys who are blatantly rude to me.

I haven't responded. But feel I have her hamster squirming. How to proceed?
My type of girl.... :lol:

Yes, you were being very rude and disrespectful. You 'ordered' her for a drink out without her agreement first and make very blunt and clumsy sexual reference. You could have easily said e.g. "I guarantee it will be more exciting than the elliptical." without similar burden. Agreeing to give you her number doesn't make her your booty call and she can't expect you to treat her like a free prostitute.

Since you already replied (insulting her even more was a bad move), there's only one thing that you can really do to save the situation:

The next time you see her at the gym, go to her and simply say: "I'm sorry. You were right. I made a bad joke and I never meant to disrespect you." Then walk away. If she is interested in you, she'll come to you.

A lot of guys in this forum are far too excited about an idea of a cocky confident act and understand far too little how women actually think and work.
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Fatale
PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 4:08 pm 
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it's just asd, hold your frame, stay congruent, pass the shit test etc.

''really? you would have met me for a drink but you've been dis-respected? when exactly did I dis-respect you? you're not that type of girl? what type of girl do you believe I am implying you to be? one that has a sense of humor?... can't believe I even asked you out... so weird''

also please don't even take advice from the guys in this thread trying to advise you to be more reactive, this is pretty normal and a girl doesn't have to be ''slutty'' to accept these sort of advances, she simply has to be more into you, she might even just be reacting this way as an excuse because she doesn't want to see you and didn't like your approach at the gym, and now that she's safe behind her phone she can tell you off in safety to get a little ego boost, just don't take her shit, stay certain of yourself and roll with it without becoming too rude or losing your cool, just don't seek her approval on this one, you've done nothing wrong that deserves an apology or anything, she's just over-reacting, call her out on it, and if she's actually interested the situation will re-frame
Yes. This. Who really knows if she's actually offended? Even if she is, the best thing you can do is to stand your ground and act like SHE'S the one misbehaving. You need to move the ball into her court and if she doesn't respond, then she loses and you move on to the next girl.
A definite no-no.

For ladies, these type of guys are commonly known as bast*rds. Waste of time and further the distance, the better.
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