Hi guys

I’ve been on this forum before and haven’t posted in a while but I had an interesting evening recently which I would welcome your thoughts on.

My friend has been into PUA for a while and was the one who introduced me to it. I’m still more of a beginner and finding the approach that works for me. The other night I just decided to approach these two girls in a bar we were at. I guess I thought I would show balls even if not a lot of technique.

One of the girls was hot and her friend not so much (I wonder why that happens so much, as if I don’t know). I walked up to them and the conversation went roughly like this:

Me: Hi girls, how are you doing? My name’s Steve, what are your names?
Not-so-hot girl (enthusiastically): My name’s Lucy
Hot girl (stares daggers at me): I don’t have a name

Has anyone ever had this response before? I realise that the approach I took was certainly not Mystery Method or anything I’ve been taught, but I just wanted to see what would happen if I took a more basic approach.

I’ve been watching these very helpful videos from Kezia Noble about bitch shields and she says that guys often either get aggressive or scared in these situations. I didn’t do either but tried to make it more humorous by saying “wow, that must be quite a social handicap”. She then told me that her name was “Bob” and I said something like “oh okay, like the girl from Blackadder”. I then made a comment which I wouldn’t have made in retrospect about her being a girl dressed as a boy. She looked at me patiently for a moment and then said “okay, could we get on with our evening now?” I said something about how she’d asked very politely so I guess I could grant her request. She was staring daggers at me again at this point.

Afterwards I was psyched because I’d been telling my mate earlier that I wanted to get some harsh rejections, that the girls I’d approached had been too nice in the past and I needed to start getting into more adventurous territory. This wasn’t a very harsh rejection but it was a clear one and I felt good that I’d had the balls to get rejected.

On the same evening, my mate was chatting to these two girls. They were playing with their friend's phone and my mate asked them what they were doing. They answered quite readily but with quite a shitty tone and having talked a bit more, my mate asked where they were going and they said the name of the club. He said “actually I’m a promoter for that club” and one of the girls (the hotter one) said “oh, that’s convenient” (what he was saying was true and he proved it by getting them/us on the guest list). This gave me a bad taste in my mouth and when he’d finished talking to them I said “my judgement is bitches, not bitch shield”.

A bit later we were outside and my mate called these two girls over and started chatting to the hotter one. The less hot one was clearly feeling left out of the conversation so I thought I’d help her out by talking to her. It was a good conversation in that I spoke quite slowly and controlled the frame pretty well. After this the hotter girl took my number (not my mate’s) and they said they would go home and get changed and meet us in a bit. To my satisfaction, the girl who had blown me out earlier happened to be sat nearby when this was happening, so she had no excuse for going home thinking I was a loser.

We went to the next venue and while we were there they called me. They asked where we were and I explained where the venue was. The hotter girl asked me if we would buy them a drink and I said “well come down and try your luck”. She then asked me again and I said “we’ll see”. I think this was a conservative move as I didn’t want them to not turn up and have my mate blame me for pushing them away. However when I told him this he said that he would have just said “no”. When they arrived the first thing he did was to challenge them about it and say “do you want me to label myself a walkover?” They said something implying that that we ought to be buying their company and I said something about how we had given them an opportunity which they could take or not as they wished.

I won’t go into detail about the rest of the evening but these girls turned out to be bad news. They both had boyfriends, and the less hot one that I was talking to (who kissed me on the lips at one point) had a boyfriend who was turning up to the club later that night. The hotter one who my mate was messing with apparently told her friends that my mate was making her uncomfortable, but then kissed him when their backs were turned. I didn’t see this as I had already left. I did buy these girls drinks on my mate’s advice and having taken drinks from us, they didn’t return the favour but just got drinks for themselves. I took the bottle from my girl at one point as I was thirsty and when I took a second swig she tried to snatch it back off me (massively failed compliance test). I didn’t like this one bit and I commented to my mate “I’m heading off, my frame is weakening every second I hang around this girl”. He didn’t move with me but later apologised for not doing so. I was happy for him to get it on with the other girl as he seemed to be doing fine but he later confessed to a failure of ethics which I didn’t particularly mind.

Anyway as regards these two girls, I commented to him later that I had said I thought they were bitches early on in the evening and I’d been proved right. Personally, I could have got my arse kicked for all I know (I didn’t meet the boyfriend). This girl fucking lied and said that she’d TOLD me she had a boyfriend which is total horseshit. At one point both the girl’s friend and my mate were telling me I should kiss her properly. I said to her in a friendly way “I’m being instructed to kiss you” and she didn’t really respond, so I guess she was trying to avoid trouble, but still, not cool.

As for my earlier approach, my main feeling, especially after watching the Kezia video is that I totally failed to take control of the frame. She came up with this thing about not having a name and I allowed her to dictate the conversation from there. I also totally neglected her friend in a typical AFC manner. I could have talked to this Lucy girl for a bit and shut out “Bob” until I was ready to talk to her again and even told her firmly to tell me her name, but instead I let my obvious interest in the hotter girl overrule my better judgement. I’m also aware that I’ve always had a habit of using humour to diffuse tension which is really NOT the name of the game here. By trying to make “witty” remarks instead of dealing with this girl’s challenge head on, I weakened my own frame and failed to demonstrate value, I would say.

My mate is much more of the mindset to have a quick chat about things and then move on (his game is pretty strong so maybe he’s bored of details at this point), but I like to analyse things a bit more, so if anyone wants to comment on what I should have done at any point during this evening, or what they would have done, I’d appreciate the feedback.

Thanks for reading as I’m aware this is pretty long.

Shotgun

Really interesting read, man. Think you played the entire situation really well. Smoothly handled their shit tests, making yourselves high value targets too good to ignore... immensely good stuff. They'll tell themselves they were using you for drinks in a social sense (which is how it turned out), but if you wanted to push further, like you said - could have spoken to her mate and shut 'Bob' out completely, made her feel less worthwhile, and maybe kiss closed as well. Think you made the right choice though, better options out there maybe.

Thanks, HardtoKill.

When I was talking to my girl from the two-set, I was quite hard on her, mainly because I was quite unimpressed by some of what she was saying. Literally the moment we split off, the first thing she did was to complain about her friend (supposedly her best friend), saying that she didn't have a job and that she was always having to buy her drinks. I said something like "you realise it's bad form to slag off your mate to a guy you've just met?" and she said "whatever, blah blah blah" and I continued "it makes a bad impression". She said "well that's just me, what you see is what you get". I said "oh, so you're one of THOSE people are you?" She then said something about how she normally gets what she wants. I responded by saying something about how only earlier she'd been telling me about how she'd had a shitty day at work because everyone was getting her to do stuff she didn't want to do. My mate winced later when I told him about this comment. I realise now it's a bad idea to try and call them on stuff in their general lives, especially after just meeting them, but calling them on stuff they've said or done at the time is okay. I think a better response would have been "and tell me, what are you hoping to get out of tonight?" She did genuinely show herself to be low-value to me though which is why I didn't care so much - like Mystery says, when you DLV your wing, you DLV yourself, and that's exactly what she did!