dealing with disrespect



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 Post subject: dealing with disrespect
PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 11:32 pm 
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I have a huge problem with this at work mainly because my co workers are a younger group an they like to joke around in a certain way an call each other names but to me disrespect is disrespect so I dont tolerate it so basically I dont talk to anyone my humor is way diffrent then theres so my problem is I dont know how to interact with people like this im not sure if I should even bother too ... what do you think guys am I doing the right thing by just keeping to myself at work all the time ?

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 11:45 pm 
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sounds like either they are assholes or you have a rod up your ass. Anyway, you must convey that you are high status, if you aren't too affected by the teasing, then they will tease you less and less.


Who cares really? Whenever I get teased, I just either go along in a sarcastic way or I ignore it if the joke really sucked.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 12:03 am 
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I either ignore or calmly get up in their face with a disgusted look/poker face on my face. I'll say something calmly like we are two mature adults, lets act like it then turn around. I usually look down at them like scum, you have to approach from a position of power. You can be sarcastic but be so in a serious way.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 12:16 am 
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I got to work on my humor !

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 2:00 am 
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what could I do to help me work on my humor iv always had a problem with it I was bullied alot as a kid I never really adjusted well as far as developing a healthy sence of humor but its somthing I really want to work on if you guys have any advice maybe some books Iv been watching alot of stand up latley im just wondering if theres somthing more I should be doing?

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 2:03 am 
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I have a huge problem with this at work mainly because my co workers are a younger group an they like to joke around in a certain way an call each other names but to me disrespect is disrespect so I dont tolerate it so basically I dont talk to anyone my humor is way diffrent then theres so my problem is I dont know how to interact with people like this im not sure if I should even bother too ... what do you think guys am I doing the right thing by just keeping to myself at work all the time ?
Its disrespect if you frame it as such. Don't react, simple as that.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 7:59 pm 
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Hey man same here. I was a chubby kid when I was younger and always had to defend myself to avoid being picked on. The problem was that I ^framed it as being a personal insult and my ego took over and I got defensive.

Learn to let go of your ego, no one is really your enemy(unless they do physical harm). What I would recommend is becoming vulnerable(not a weakness), a man who knows when it is appropriate to show people he is the man, but he is just one of the guys too.


Don't think it is going to change overnight, you will have to get out of your comfort zone and be aware when your ego pokes its little head.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 8:11 pm 
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what could I do to help me work on my humor iv always had a problem with it I was bullied alot as a kid I never really adjusted well as far as developing a healthy sence of humor but its somthing I really want to work on if you guys have any advice maybe some books Iv been watching alot of stand up latley im just wondering if theres somthing more I should be doing?
I know where you're coming from. When I was a kid I remember an incident where some other kid sung "there's only one [my name], thank God there's only one [my name]" and I genuinely took it as a knock to my self-esteem because I felt it was meant literally. Now I say (and people say to me) things like that every day. I work in a warehouse so I've had to get used to it, and once you do it's fun. Have you ever gone up to a colleague and said "Jesus man, you're absolutely terrible at your job - I don't know how they haven't fired you yet" with a smile? That's the point you want to be at, where you can say absolutely any fucking thing to someone as everyone understands it's just fun! That's also a PUA principle, that you can say almost ANYTHING if you're congruent with it! Stand up comedy is great, but you'll learn better by interacting with these people and actually LETTING them taking the piss out of you - you can only learn stuff from people who already know how, right? So get involved and assume noone is disrespecting you unless they actually have a serious look on their face or appear to be aggressive - it's probably all just in fun! Try and give as good as you get so that you can ultimately become the alpha male who always has the better answer!

Good luck with it man, seriously. I've been where you've been. Noone had a bigger rod up their butt than me in the past!


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 11:42 pm 
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In my old job i use too get teased every single day, i had a good group of friends there an the teasing between us was just a good laugh.

There were like 5 older guys there some in there 50s who took it a bit too far an they didnt like me through none other than pure jelousy, They would of done anything too get me out of the place if that meant backstabbing or making stuff up.
Fortunatly at the time my managers for our area were women an i had them wrapped round my little finger.

What did i do never let them get one over on me, I always got called ginger by them my reply yeah i like being ginger it makes it harder too get girls.
We worked in a store so there were women always coming in too shop
so between the males there we would always perve at them somethin to pass the time in a dead end job So it was always about women in there.

I stayed there for 2-3 years taking abuse everyday the 50 odd year old near attacked me one day seriously ha I just saw it as a game id meet girls at the weekend then get them to come in an see me for a chat an near the end of my time there i just started chatting to the milfs who came in too shop it worked a treat they had no way to get one over on me and any insults they gave me were laughed off like i didnt care an too be honest i didnt id already won.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 12:55 am 
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Same here OP, I know they are joking around but it just bothers me so I show my emotions. Lately, I've been trying not to react and I try to turn the tables on them a bit by joking with them and they have toned it down A LOT.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 2:12 am 
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awesome guys thanks for sharing your stories iv really been working the ropes an learning the line between joking around an disrespect I have more control over my emotions now iv been using NLP an self hypnosis I feel all that emotional build up really was just stored in my subconsious anyone going through similar problems should look into it !!

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Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
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