| Point #1 Growing up we have all watched TV and movies were the guy shows up on the girls doorstep with flowers and chocolates and tells her how beautiful she looks. He goes out on formal date blowing all kinds of cash on her. She make him work very hard for a first kiss and holds out even longer for sex. Society and convention have conditioned you to believe that to make women like you you must put them on a pedestal and tell them how amazing they are! When they don't give in your supposed to try harder and win her over. NOTHING could be further from the truth. The truth is that women are attracted to what is called SOCIAL VALUE (Women do not even recognize this about themselves and they will deny this until the day they die!) but social value deals with how well known you are by others. Women want to date men who know lots of people, are the leader of their friends, and live a life that more exciting than her own. The reason women throw themselves at these type of men is because they want to raise the own social value by association. OK so Point #1 Value is everything. The higher your value the better your going to do with women. You can raise your value by doing value building activities. Value building activities are anything that someone would see about you in a positive light, characteristics about you that are admirable. knowing another language, weight lifting and a good physique, being a good speaker, proficient at talking to others, being funny and confident, reading a lot and having lots of knowledge., being well dressed and well groomed....i could go on forever! But basically your not the generic guy. Your a badass! You have a lot going for you. People like james bond, tom cruise, bruce lee, George Clooney.
Point #2 The mindset- The population of men is made up of what has been coined Alpa males and Beta Males. 97% of the male population is beta males and only 3% are alphas. Beta Males in a nut shell- They are followers who buy into other peoples ideas, thoughts, and realities. They are what you would recognize as the "NICE GUY"
Most of the time they agree with what other people say and think because someone says something it must be true. They don't think for themselves, they simply do as everyone else. They tell there girlfriend how amazing she is and that she hung the moon and that they don't know what they would do without her. (Again society tells you this is the way to a women's heart) The Alpha male in a nut shell he is first and foremost a leader. He creates his own reality and constitution as to how he will live his life. He goes against the the grain of society. He has his own opinions on things, he's very self sufficient, he's not dependent on others for his happiness, he feels entitled to everything life has to offer...a nice house, nice cars, beautiful women Sometimes more than one, his time is valuable and people realize that about him. He only gives a women the time of day if she's treating him how the way he deserves. If she's not he moves on. When she treats him wrong or does something he doesn't like he calls her out on it in a polite but assertive way. She treats him like gold because she knows he has other options.
Point #3
In your relationship with your girlfriend certain things MUST exist or she will lose attraction.
Yourself- In the book the seven habits of highly effective one of the key principles is "sharpen the knife" make yourself better each day than the day before. SO many times in relationships guys become content having someone who accepts them as they are and they stop improving and growing. You must take time for yourself to go to the gym learn new things, pursue hobbies, and set goals. Women become bored when your life revolves around them. but when you have your own things going on you have cool stories to tell her and it demonstrates that you have other interest besides her.
Space- Ok this sounds like the big one for you. One thing you must understand about human nature is that people value things that are not readily available. Its what is known in economics as scarcity. Commodities such as diamonds and gold are not valuable because they are so useful to us but because they are not easily acquired. If it were easily acquired they would not be valued. They really serve no function but because we all agree they are valuable they become valuable. The same concept applies to your time. The more scarce it is the more that person values it. I don't know your situation but i would assume that since you spend lots of time with your girlfriend it becomes "Common" and therefor not scarce. Im sure she really likes you but imagine if she felt as though she hasn't seen you in a few days and kinda misses you well then she going to feel like giving you a lot more attention. She's going to want to reward you for sharing your time with her. Besides its good for her to wonder what your doing when she's not there.
Variety- Its important to keep things fresh don't alway have her come over and watch a movie. For example the other day to change things up i dragged out my original Nintendo NES from 1993 and we played it one night. It was a blast from the past and we really enjoyed doing something different. Take her on walks, get a blanket and some snack foods and drive out to BFE Crank up the radio and check out the stars. Notice most of these activities are inexpensive which means she's spending time with you not because its financially rewarding but because she really wants to be with you. When guys start blowing all kinds of cash on a girl it does a few things. First you start getting taken for granted, secondly it conveys that your value is less than hers so your going to throw in some vacations, dinners and frequent gifts. (Beta Behavior)
and thirdly it makes her feel obligation to be be with you rather than by free choice.
Leading-Again women are attracted to the Alpha male. He leads their interaction. He doesn't ask her where she wants to go? He Gives three choices and asks her to pick. He steers the conversation. He's basically very dominate and masculine. Hes a good listener but also interjects and interrupts. If he's telling her a story and she tries to interrupt with a tangent he says i getting to that hang on and back to his turn.
Boundaries- These are very important. A few weeks ago i was in the mountains with my friends and girlfriend. While i was gone her and her friends went through my i pad looking at all my photos, web history and logged onto my Facebook. When i heard about it i sternly but politely told them i was upset with them, that i didn't think what they did was right, and that i felt like they liked me but didn't respect me, they quickly apologized a and said it was wrong for them to do. But if i would have yelled they would have got defensive and dug their heels in. If a women starts going though your things or you phone tell them "don't go though my things." If your girfriend tells you something like "my exboyfriend wants me to come by and get the necklace i left. what do you think i should do? Response: I feel you like you should do what you need to do. HER: Its probably best i dont go there. Response: Good Choice! You never want to affect free will but also set boundaries that your not going to buy into her bullshit.
Summary: Most importantly know that your the Shit! If she cant appreciate that about you than she can get lost. When she says things on emotional whims you don't buy in. Lead your interactions, when she withholds intimacy or other things to gain power in the relationship Withdraw your attention from her. Once precedent is set that you run the show she will do almost anything to keep you happy. women love playing a supporting role in a relationship so long as you play the the masculine leading role. If you become the girl in the relationship she will become the man. Call her out when she's in the wrong. Apologize when your in the wrong. and remember always say thankyou when she does nice things for you.
Credit also due to a post from Furlox.
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"If I tell you I'm good, you would probably think I'm boasting. If I tell you I'm no good, you know I'm lying."-Bruce Lee
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