After much procrastination et al I've decided to post this.

Put simply this is my personal trick for overcoming "LMR" (Last Minute Resistance) and it is not really a trick. It's an attitude shift that values respect, discretion and consent. It is an attitude shift that incidentally helps people get laid AND HAVE BETTER SEX. It runs counter to alot of PUA stuff on LMR mainly because alot of PUA stuff on LMR is usually both unethical AND unhelpful.

As a quick contents list I'm going to begin with what I perceive as the average PUA approach to LMR then I'll explain where it goes wrong and finally lay down what I have found to be the most effective way of getting laid with minimal hastle.

As a preface, this method of dealing with LMR (which is actually NOT dealing with LMR) is a strategy based entirely on the idea that women will tell you what they want when they feel comfortable, and that your job in the bedroom is to provide an environment for that to happen. If that is an idea you can't get on board with you may as well stop reading, here.

So you get the girl home, she's enjoyed the banter, been touching and feeling all night and you are now in the bedroom, lights down low and music -with the appropriate volume- on. As you are escalating you hear the dreaded words "Not tonight, I don't feel like".

Welcome to LMR!

To the average PUA, this is the last hurdle and it's not even a hurdle. It's a test. She's doing this deliberately to test whether you are a real man, or someone who will back down. What she wants is for you to argue and push against this and prove that you are a hot blooded male who wants to please her. If you back down you show that you are weak and pussy-whipped. No girl is attracted to a pussy whipped man. Why else would she mention sex if she didn't want to fuck you? She's obviously wanting to fuck you so you should do everything you can to make sure it happens tonight.*

Where do I think this goes wrong?

Well to start, the mindset that drives this attitude is based off a false perception of events.

The PUA wants to be "the man" and the best way to be "the man" is to have her fucking him. The girl has said "I'm not totally comfortable with fucking you tonight" and so this outcome threatens him, so he tries to find a way to avoid this outcome by finding ways to ignore the girls desire. In short he turns it into a power-play.

This tends to be the opposite of what is optimum, rather than dissipation the girls sense of unease he perpetuates it by continuing to pressure her into saying yes. This has one of two effects

Either
A: The girl after much commotion and persistence lets him fuck her. Generally the sex will be quite poor and the ethics of this are muddy because she's letting you fuck her in order to pacify you rather than fucking you, because she wants to fuck you.

Or (More Likely)

B: The pressure makes the girl even more unlikely to sleep with you and the awkwardness of having someone push for sex even when she doesn't want to un-settles her and confirms her "not tonight" as a "definitely not with you...ever".

What is the alternative?

LMR is largely based on the tension between the two of you being too high. Don't get this wrong, tension is good, but if people are nervous then they generally wont want to fuck, and if they do they will fuck poorly. So in order to get better sex you need to get the girl to relax. The best way to get the girl to relax is to remove the pressure/tension from the situation.

The best way I have found to remove the pressure is to be 100% ok with not fucking, for any reason. Sounds counter-intuitive I know, but bear with me! Even if the girl just says "Hey I don't want to fuck, don't feel like it tonight" you have to be ok with this.

Be upfront about what you want, but allow people to turn you down, this is the ultimate gesture of confidence and consideration. Most PUA's are desperate to get their dicks wet out of desire and/or ego and as a result their idea of hell is a girl in their bed that just wants to cuddle and go to sleep. So they pursue a very pushy path of "going cold" if a girl doesn't want to fuck or "remaining persistent" and they end up looking like selfish ass-holes.

By making it hard for a girl to say no, they pressurise the girl, making her give up and give you shitty sex or annoy her to the point that she doesn't want to sleep with you.

Think of it like buying a car. If one salesmen showed you a car you were interested in and kept on trying to make you sign paperwork and another salesman showed you the same car but never pressured you into signing stuff you didn't want to sign. Which one would you trust? Which one would you want to buy a car from?

Of course the second car salesman WANTS to sell you the car, but he has the decency and courtesy to not throw himself at you whether you want his "monthly instalments" or not!

In short, giving girls a real opportunity to say "no" with no questions asked and no hard feelings helps them relax and makes them wwayyy more likely to say yes. It fosters trust and demonstrates that you are a mature and considerate partner and someone much more appealing in the bedroom.

Cheers and happy fucking.

*I'll add this in at the end, if she's already thinking about having sex with you, and her reason for not fucking you is genuinely "Don't feel like it tonight" then you have little reason to worry about not getting laid. If it doesn't happen tonight (which it probably will, if you just chill and let her relax more) then it will probably happen another night when she does feel like it.

Thanks man, i have been wondering about alternative ways to handle LMR. I have never felt comfortable with making a girl feel awkward for saying no. If you wont let a girl say no then your really no better than those drunk assholes that PUAs sought out to beat in the first place imo.

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"Those who push themselves and are willing to face pain, exhaustion, humiliation, rejection or worse are the ones who become champions" -Style

Slips, bravo to you! I mean fucking kudos! They way most PUA's deal with LMR has always bothered me. I mean to each their own, it just wasn't my cup of tea. To be honest it seemed counter productive to the whole mindset, of leave her better then you found her. It's supposed to be a down right honor to spend an evening with a PUA and they way most of the community deals with LMR seem to unravel that honor at it's core. It is nice to see that someone else shares that same view. Keep up the good work man.

LMR comes from the mm retarded system 7 hour rule or whatever, if you escalate and arouse the women enough, you will never get the lmr, the best way to deal with Lmr is to avoid it, and to understand why is she giving you the objection if any, they want to know: 1.- you will not fuck them and leave them, 2.-you won't kiss and tell,3.- you won't think of her as a whore (this are the 3 things that may prevent a dude from fucking her IF SHE IS INTERESTED)... Other than that would be hygiene which is unusual ( maybe she has her period, maybe she is not shaved, maybe she just took a dump), and finally would be self consciousness about her body...But if a girl is on a date with you, she should know what is gonna happen so there should not be last minute resistance if you do things right, one way to get around it is too make the encounter low pressure and get the girl to relax, i have had a lot of success with massages, massages get them relax, and the mind somewhere else(if you do them right), after 15-20 minutes massaging them, switch to sexual massage( that is if is in you apt. or her apt.)... But if you know what you are doing like i keep saying be sexual, escalate, act like the fuck buddy instead of the provider, she should know what is sup and there should not be any lmr.

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I agree with this and believe that the trust generated from it is best in the long run. A personal problem that I have is that I wont put the pressure on enough in the subsequent dates. I will then get frustrated and pushy which will kill their trust. Obviously there is a balance here that should be found.
This really simplifies everything perfectly I think if you are dominating the frame. If the girl feels like she is giving in to you like Slipps says then I think there is another debate going on inside of their heads. Something along the lines of whether he is worth the investment and is it going to damage her reputation and respect levels (in her own mind and then others if anyone else knows you).

I have been experimenting with massages a good amount lately as well and I think they are gold as pre-foreplay as it is only natural to move from that to the sexual.

With all of this being said the question I am still wondering is what is the best way to convey the three things Skills wrote as well as not being pushy in the process.

-VF

Generally I find that people who think they need to be pushy, don't need to be more pushy. They need to be more honest. The above method when dealing with LMR kind of works on the basis that you and the girl already know that you're attracted to one another and that you are wanting to sleep with her.

That doesn't mean you have to be "pushy" per say. A lot of PUA's don't seem to be able to concieve of just telling someone that they are attractive, without having to make a big production of it or act like they want the girl RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, TONIGHT!

But I'd advise that you should refrain from trying to read into her words. Again, all of this is working from the idea that provided the right SPAM, she will relax and fuck. Which requires you to be able to sit back. Sometimes she may not feel like fucking, and that's ok. Leave it at that. She can change her mind, so give her space to do that when you get resistance.

When people try and analyse the "Not tonight" for a hidden meaning that has to be cracked in order to win sex, they fall back into this trap of pressure as the girl usually figures out that she has been put under the spot-light and the PUA is interrogating her over why she doesn't want to fuck.

So yeah, think about openness rather than pushiness and stepping back giving people space to change minds.

Could not agree more. I've experienced it like twice in my life, and generally if you just slow things down a little bit you're totally fine. I've certainly never had LMR all the way to no sex at all.

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La Dolce Vita.

I've done this naturally a few times (as in, didn't think of it as a method, it's just how I generally roll).

If you show you're 100% ok with not having sex, girls typically are fine with it. That being said, that doesn't mean you can't keep exciting them till they say yes (that's what happened the last time I had sex).

By just talking normal convo: For me to sleep with somebody i have to have chemistry and connection, if not i will not get hard, i just do not sleep with everybody i am extremely picky.. I really like you and want to get to know you.... But it depends on the girl some girls do not mind snl, fuck buddies etc... Best thing is to come across as the lover instead of the provider since the begging of the interaction...That is why i always emphasize the power of escalation and arousal...

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction