Socially acceptable v.s. feelings..



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PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 9:06 am 
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So.. This all started about a month ago, I work evening shifts as a salesmanager, and one night we're having a couple of new people who's gonna start working there.

As they come out from their basic "how to sell" training, I notice this one girl - wow!

As time goes by, I get my game on, making her laugh, talking with her about everything between the earth and sky etc. and I'm really starting to get charmed by her.

I do the only "logical" thing, and at a point in a random conversation (we were talking about FIFA), I say "Well, you know you will have to back up those statements of yours now.. I'll definitively beat you in FIFA sometime!" At this point we were still at work, so didn't want to set a spesific date just yet.

Next time I meet her at work, I notice som scratches on her arms, so I asked her what happened. "Oh, I kinda crashed with my Scooter, nothing serious!" - I continue the conversation for a while and asks "So, how long have you've had the sertificate for that now? 2 years?" ... This is where shit gets fucked up ... Turns out she's only 16..

Being 20 myself, the age difference is just over the "socially acceptable" line. (Half your age + 7 is the general rule of thumb).

I really want to pursue this, atleast get to know her properly, but then again, that might end up ruining relations to my family and friends.. I haven't talked to anyone in the family about this, and very few friends. So I can't know for sure what their reaction would be like. But I'm guessing that it wouldn't be taken lightly.

Given that I actually want a relationship, I want one where I can present her to family and friends without being imbarrased. And I'm pretty sure that I could present HER without any problems, but her age is a totally different matter..

God, I've been tearing myself up about this for the past 2 weeks now.. If anyone has any advice, I would really appreciate it!

And if you want some more information to base things on, please ask! But I thought this post was more than long enough allready.

TL;DR: Meets girl - Get really charmed - Find out she's 4 years younger than me (16-20) - want to escalate things, but I worry that it will affect my relations to friends and family.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 3:37 am 
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I am a manager of other people as well, albeit I'm here in the U.S. At least here, there are all kinds of terrible things that can (and usually do) happen to people who enter a relationship at work. The problem is compounded when one is the manager of another.

The age thing is irrelevant as far as I am concerned - culturally, the U.S. and Norway seem to vary on age of consent. No 20 year old has implied consent to date a 16 year old here due to state law, as far as I know. I could be wrong.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 6:05 am 
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Well, as far as our positions at work I'm not really worried about that. I've tried it earlier on, and as long as I manage to separate my job and my personal life, that should be fine.

And yeah, it's legal to date her, so I'm not going to end up in jail :)

What troubles me tho, is that I'm not sure how my friends and family will take it. And yeah, I know I shouldn't care what others think, but I'm not sure if it's worth risking my current friend/family relations... Thanks for the reply btw \o/


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 3:06 pm 
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Ah, gotcha. What is it, specifically, about Norwegian culture that would cause this to be a problem? If law doesn't prohibit it, what is the issue?

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 6:08 am 
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It's the problem that it's not socially acceptable, and might ruin some of my friend/family relations..

The rule of thumb for socially acceptable is x/2+7=y where x is your age and y is hers. Not that this necessarily has to matter at all, but in this case I actually feel like it fits pretty good.

Anyway, since I wasn't able to make up my mind, I've invited her over to my place again on Monday, so I'm gonna try and find out how I should proceed after that!

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 11:33 am 
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Being 20 myself, the age difference is just over the "socially acceptable" line. (Half your age + 7 is the general rule of thumb).


Only people who are childish about it actually care about it.
Depend how she behaves between others (mature or not?) I would continue with this.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 11:51 am 
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Let's say I enter a relationship with her.

3-4 months down the path there's a family gathering (probably not, but let's say there is). I have a cousin that's 17. All my life she's been the "little one" and I've always considered her a child, and I still do. (suppose that's just how it works with family members :P ) Anyway, when I bring someone who is younger than my "little" cousin as my girlfriend.. Not sure how I'm gonna handle that.. That's pretty much the kinds of situations I'd like to avoid.

As mentioned earlier though, I've decided to hang out with her some more, and really get to know her before making my final decision.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 9:52 pm 
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You're gonna bang her, just do it. It's obvious that it's what you want to do :P


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 3:35 am 
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I don't want to be judgemental here, but I gotta seriously question gaming a 16 year old girl. I don't see what there is to gain from it. Personally I'd game a married woman before a 16 year old.

I don't care how developed her tits and ass are, that just seems like the game is completely rigged against her.

Full disclosure, I've got a 3 year old daughter, so if I found out an adult gamed my daughter at 16, I'm pretty sure I'd struggle not to kick his ass. I'm all about gaming adult women, but unless the guy gaming is also not an adult, this just doesn't seem like fair play to me.

All right, I'm done judging now.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 8:33 am 
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I don't want to be judgemental here, but I gotta seriously question gaming a 16 year old girl. I don't see what there is to gain from it. Personally I'd game a married woman before a 16 year old.

I don't care how developed her tits and ass are, that just seems like the game is completely rigged against her.

Full disclosure, I've got a 3 year old daughter, so if I found out an adult gamed my daughter at 16, I'm pretty sure I'd struggle not to kick his ass. I'm all about gaming adult women, but unless the guy gaming is also not an adult, this just doesn't seem like fair play to me.

All right, I'm done judging now.

It was never my intetnion to game a 16 y.o.

When I started gaming her I was certain that she was ATLEAST 18, from the way she looked and acted. It was only after knowing her for a couple of weeks I learned that she was 16, and then she had allready gotten me quite charmed.. And yeah, I totally get your judging, I usually judge 20 y.o. that's with 16 y.o. myself.. It's usually those guys I want to run after with a baseball bat. That's why this is so fucking hard for me..

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2012 5:41 am 
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Well, my advice would be tell her maybe in a couple years you can hook up.

If you're worried about this now, how messed up will your head be after you blow a wad in her?

My recommendation would be to find someone else and get laid. Regardless of her age, this girl isn't the only one who is both hot and capable of being something special.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2012 4:12 pm 
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Why the one-itis? I thought you had a legitimate concern. Now that you've explained yourself, I don't know why you don't just move on to another prospect.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 6:57 pm 
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Well, she's comming over to my place for a couple of hours tomorrow, guess I'll just have to see how things develop.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 9:40 pm 
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Quote:
Well, she's comming over to my place for a couple of hours tomorrow, guess I'll just have to see how things develop.
You're so obviously gonna fuck her :D


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