Hi everyone, I have been hanging out at a different PUA forum for awhile and I didn't care for the community there.

I have a little bit of a conundrum. The girl I am currently with is a bit older than me. I think I only managed to get her because I was so convinced she couldn't like me that I was sort of a cocky ass She ended up chasing me because I thought all her flirting and such were just her messing with my head.

However now that we have been together a couple of months I am scared as hell to lose her. She has a ton of orbiters, and even though she blatantly tells them about me and pushes them away I worry all the time that she will find one she likes more. I don't have girls lining up and I act somewhat beta and she seems to like it


If I feel she is being distant because she is busy, I try to back off she gets even more distant. When I can't take anymore and act rather clingy and tell her everything about everything than she texts me right back when she can. Isn't this what bores girls? I thought you had to seem busy.
If I play it cool I feel like she loses interest, and the more beta I act the more she seems to latch on!


She has done nothing to make me think she wants to leave any time soon, but I have this constant nagging fear that I am doing something wrong because it's not what everyone says you should do with girls. I want to keep her, but I'm not sure what I have to do to do that since she seems to be bass-ackwards about this stuff. Any ideas?!

Clearly she's interested or she wouldn't be dating you. Not to get too personal, but as long as you've had sex, she ain't going to ditch you for greener pastures UNLESS you two are either completely incompatable or you become too needy for her.

If you're unsure of how to treat her, or you think you shouldn't act alpha because she's "too smart" or "different" simply do the woman test.

Ask yourself one question: Is she a woman?

If so, DON'T TREAT HER DIFFERENTLY. Even if she's hot, older, or "out of your league," she's still a woman! The rules don't change. However, relationships differ from pickup i.e. don't buy a woman you've never slept with a drink (you can buy your GF a drink). Be confident, that's why she liked you in the first place.

Don't get too deep in texting, if you have an issue, talk it out in person. It shows way more balls to have a real convo then simply text what's on your mind.

Good work for getting the older woman by the way, not the easiest thing to do.

Good luck,
Hustle

What women say they want and what they really want are 2 very different things. Usually a girl who admits to liking beta behaviour is insecure and encourage neediness from their guy (and other guys) because it boosts their ego, confidence and LSE. Unfortunately girls like this tend to be flakey and no amount of attention will ever be enough for them. Cougars unfortunately often fall into this category, as there is no bigger ego boost than bagging a hot toy boy. Hopefully your girl is a decent one though, the fact that she blows out other guys when she's with you is a good sign.

Beware of insecure girls when it comes to relationships. I used to think it was confident outgoing girls who cheat the most, because they would have the "balls" to get away with cheating, but it's actually the opposite. Confident secure girls are so secure in themselves, they don't feel the need to cheat. It's the shy LSE girls who need the attention and ironically they're the ones who accuse YOU of cheating the most (deflecting attention).

I think you need to differentiate between needy Beta behaviour and being a good boyfriend. The odd surprise date now and again will go down well with any woman you're seeing but this is really to keep the magic alive if you've been together for some time. Typical stuff like giving flowers or leaving romantic notes for her etc., they all depend on the context. If you do it once in a while as a nice surprise during a long-term relationship, she will feel very loved and wanted. If you do it after she breaks up with you or very very soon into the relationship (like the first few weeks or months) she may think you are creepy and run a mile.

Hope things work out for you. You've been given the honour of my first post on here

AFC Hunter Foxe

A girl cannot possibly be attracted by a beta-male..what is your definition of acting beta?

I don't think he's talking about the attraction stage. She's already with this guy, so we can assume the attraction thing is a done-deal. He is concerned about keeping her attached and committed to him, but is worried about showing her too much interest early on. He can't show her no interest at all, it's all about getting the balance right.

Attraction in a woman is NEVER a done-deal. You can be the most attractive guy in 2 hours and turn in the most ugliest troll in a matter of short time without a problem. Attraction is based on behavioural cues (for women), that's why she tests you to see if you're always congruent with an alpha-male behaviour. That's why women will ALWAYS test you even if you almost had sex, even after you had sex and for the rest of your entire life. That's why you can go up to a girl and she's like "Woww who're you?" and 3 min later she's like: "Ahhh I need to go to the bahroom" and she runs the fuck away from you avoiding you for the rest of the night. This is why you hear girls saying: "I want him"..but because the guy gets attached to the outcome and loses his balance and inner world, putting the girl on a peddle stone the girl will literally say she's disgusted by him and wants to avoid him at any cost. You see this all the fucking time..

There's never a time where you can lay back and say: I WON THE GIRL. Never. As soon as you do that, you fall back in your comfort, you don't have that same value anymore, you don't have any purpose in life and the girl will lose attraction and will break up with you if she's hot and she has other choices. Attraction doesn't work that way: "I've won the girl now I can re-fall in my chody behaviours.." she'll just either cheat or break up with you.

Yup, summed up nicely. Attraction is a hamster wheel, gotta keep running. The more you run the less it feels like running and more like walking. A truly awesome relationship is where you can run together and not give a fuck about any one else, because you're running

Thanks all for the help. I think I was just freaking out. I've had some time to think on it and I feel that she was giving me the answers all along.

I was remembering one particular night when she and I were hanging out, and then her ex was freaking out and texting her relentlessly and she was laughing at each text as it came, and the dude was in shambles. And I was terrified she would just do the same thing to me at any moment. But I was seeing it wrong. It was 2 months after their break up and he had acted like he didn't give a single fuck that whole time, and once he realized she wasn't about to come crawling back he lost it, but it was too late by that point.

She had blatantly mentioned that every time she has broken up with a guy, she has told him what was wrong a several months before the breakup and none of them believed her or were willing to work it out and try to meet her half way so she walked. I know she isn't the unreasonable high demanding sort, just I know she wont put up with guys bullshit forever.

I see now that acting beta sort of annoys her, it just depends on what it is. She likes to talk so the texting she enjoys, (as long as i have shit to talk about) but when I've done something wrong and apologize constantly she tells me to stop it that its annoying and not fixing anything. Most of the time I am cocky without thinking about it, she's just my first girlfriend and I get stupid.