HB9 Text message Flake



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 Post subject: HB9 Text message Flake
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 3:29 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2012 3:17 pm
Posts: 2
Hey guys, this is my first post on this site. I was hoping to pull out the big guns by having you guys help me out with this one.

I met this HB at a party with lots of guys. All of them were complimenting, overly laughing at her jokes, buying her pizza and stuff. It was pretty easy for me to stand out. She asked me for a ride home at the end of the night and said she was hungry. We ended up going to a diner, we hung out in the parking lot and just talked a little. I didn't do anything stupid like call her pretty, but I did flirt. I asked her for her number right before I dropped her off and she gave it to me.

This is how our texting went. I'm going to skip some of the initial convo but if you want to know just ask.

Me: Anyway I have so much work to do this week :p
Me: I don't think I'll be able to see you again until Friday :(
Me: Do you have a ride after work?
HB9: I don't haha
Me: Let's chill after, I'll get some wizzle and we can hang out cool?
Hb9: Haha okay
Me: Cool so I guess I'll see you Friday, what time do you work until?
HB9: 8
Me: See you at 8 :)
HB9: Okayyy!

NIGHT BEFORE AT LIKE 1 AM

HB9: So indont know if you can pick me Up tomorrow :(
Me: Lol
Me: You don't need to be shy

No response, so the day of I did this:

Me: Hey I might be like 5 minutes late tonight
HB9: I told you last night I dot think I can have you get me tonight
Me: You were being serious? Lol
HB9: Yeah Wait why would i joke?
Me: Cuz you're a silly goose :)

No Response since.

First off I did what most of you will tell me, I went out and got 2 phone numbers that day so I didn't stay obsessed, however I do feel there was a bit of attraction and if I play my cards right I can fix this. Any advice guys?


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 8:53 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2012 9:57 pm
Posts: 587
Quote:
Me: Anyway I have so much work to do this week :p
Me: I don't think I'll be able to see you again until Friday :(
Me: Do you have a ride after work?

Problem no 1: Don't multi text, it looks needy/desperate.

HB9: I don't haha
Me: Let's chill after, I'll get some wizzle and we can hang out cool?
Hb9: Haha okay
Me: Cool so I guess I'll see you Friday, what time do you work until?
HB9: 8
Me: See you at 8 :)
HB9: Okayyy!

Problem no 2: Don't ask, state. I personally would have gone:
HB9: I don't haha
Me: Lets chill after, we can grab some munch, ur treat :P"
HB9: haha you stinge! its totally the mans job to pay
Me: You sexist! fine if i'm paying your cleaning the dishes :P now what time do u finish
HB9: ooooooo I finish at 8!
Me: See you then.


NIGHT BEFORE AT LIKE 1 AM

HB9: So indont know if you can pick me Up tomorrow :(
Me: Lol
Me: You don't need to be shy

Yeah I don't even know why you would respond to this at 1 am. bad move!

I would have done this:

HB9: So I don't know if you can pick me up tomorrow :(
*NORMAL WAKING UP TIME*
Me: Ah good, worked out well.
HB9: Why?
Me: I forgot and I'm busy now. You saved my ass :P

*WAIT 3 DAYS FOR A OPENER FROM HER IF NOT THEN 4TH DAY REOPEN.*


No response, so the day of I did this:

Me: Hey I might be like 5 minutes late tonight
HB9: I told you last night I dot think I can have you get me tonight
Me: You were being serious? Lol
HB9: Yeah Wait why would i joke?
Me: Cuz you're a silly goose :)

Just...no:

1: You look desperate.
2: Its cringy.
3: ...silly goose...


No Response since.

First off I did what most of you will tell me, I went out and got 2 phone numbers that day so I didn't stay obsessed, however I do feel there was a bit of attraction and if I play my cards right I can fix this. Any advice guys?

Just make yourself look busy/get womanly attention. Personally I think you might have to wait till she texts u.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 9:30 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2012 1:47 am
Posts: 235
Website: http://www.communicationskillsactivities.net
Sad truth is that when they flake you pretty much have to roll with it and act unaffected. Say you have other things going on anyway or whatever. Any attempt to argue with it usually backfires it seems.

_________________
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 9:45 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2012 3:17 pm
Posts: 2
Wow BITmixit, thanks for the awesome response! I need to work on the stating vs asking a lot. Thank god I have you guys here to help me. I think I'm going to try to wait for her to hit me up. Thanks again guys for the help!!!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:07 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2011 1:52 pm
Posts: 56
Quote:
Wow BITmixit, thanks for the awesome response! I need to work on the stating vs asking a lot. Thank god I have you guys here to help me. I think I'm going to try to wait for her to hit me up. Thanks again guys for the help!!!!
It's not necessarily the fact you are asking questions but that you are seeking validation from this girl like she is better than you. Here we try to teach people that woman are not gods that we praise and compliment all the time up on that pedestal. Stating is just a basic way to stop doing that, but if you don't understand why you do it, it won't help you improve.

Personally I think you are over-thinking this whole situation.
So she flaked... lots of people flake, there could be a million reasons why, including she knew the two of you would bang if you hung out. (wouldn't that be just splendid)

BE unaffected and just carry on where you left off, maybe invite her to something you are already doing.

good luck


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 7:59 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2011 4:37 am
Posts: 3276
Quote:
I met this HB at a party with lots of guys. All of them were complimenting, overly laughing at her jokes, buying her pizza and stuff
they are all seeking her approval and give a shit about it
Quote:
It was pretty easy for me to stand out.
yes, don't seek approval
Quote:
She asked me for a ride home at the end of the night and said she was hungry. We ended up going to a diner, we hung out in the parking lot and just talked a little.
this is probably where you didn't stand out, and wanted her approval, just like all those other guys in the party
Quote:
I didn't do anything stupid like call her pretty
this is not stupid, if you are giving her your approval, rather then seeking hers, theres a big difference between a guy that says you're sexy because that's whats on his mind and he wants to get that accross reguardless of what the girl thinks of him cause she just is, and a guy who says you're sexy because he hopes the girl will like him if he sucks up to her
Quote:
but I did flirt. I asked her for her number right before I dropped her off and she gave it to me.
good

Quote:
Me: Anyway I have so much work to do this week :p
Me: I don't think I'll be able to see you again until Friday :(
Me: Do you have a ride after work?
HB9: I don't haha
Me: Let's chill after, I'll get some wizzle and we can hang out cool?
Hb9: Haha okay
Me: Cool so I guess I'll see you Friday, what time do you work until?
HB9: 8
Me: See you at 8 :)
HB9: Okayyy!
so you indicated you chatted her up and stuff over text before hand, nothing wrong with this if you don't know her and are trying to have some rapport before a meet after like a 2 minute number close, but if you got the rapport then why build more of it for no reason over text?, think of how you interact with your male friends, try to replicate this with girls over the phone, do you text your male buddies for fun little beat around the bush cutsey text conversations, or do they go something more like this:

you: hey man
buddy: yo
you: I want to go out tonight, you down?
buddy: yes/no
you: cool, well text me later, I'll pick you up
Quote:
NIGHT BEFORE AT LIKE 1 AM
1am, and you answered her and were all happy go lucky about her canceling on you at a really random time? why?
Quote:
HB9: So indont know if you can pick me Up tomorrow :(
Me: Lol
Me: You don't need to be shy
1st of all, if some girl texts you at random hours of the night, tell her not to call you so late cause it's gay and annoying, 2nd if a girl is flaking you, get to the bottom of her fake excuses so you have a better idea for how interested she actually is

also it's better to call then text, but if texting is your preferred medium, then here's an example of what this would probably go like if it was from my end

HB9: So indont know if you can pick me Up tomorrow :(
you: really?, why don't you know that?
HB9: no response
(5 minutes later)
you: you wake me at 1am, then don't answer back when you obviously have the phone in your hands? so charming...
Quote:
No response, so the day of I did this:

Me: Hey I might be like 5 minutes late tonight
HB9: I told you last night I dot think I can have you get me tonight
Me: You were being serious? Lol
HB9: Yeah Wait why would i joke?
Me: Cuz you're a silly goose :)
call instead of texting when you know she has a tendancy to go non-responsive or laggy in her replies during text, conversations are real time on the phone and you can put her on the spot easier and cut through excuses and get to some truth

also it's kind of weird to just ignore signs of dis-interest from girls, unless you're just trolling them for fun
Quote:
No Response since.

First off I did what most of you will tell me, I went out and got 2 phone numbers that day so I didn't stay obsessed, however I do feel there was a bit of attraction and if I play my cards right I can fix this. Any advice guys?
no you didn't meet enough girls, this advice is simple, girls that are not interested, generally stay not interested, chasing her down when she's being a problem child won't do you as much good as meeting a girl who isn't one, the advice is there for you to move on and stop caring about her all together so you don't get hung up on one girl, rather then just some token amount of phone numbers that you don't care about meanwhile you are still focused on one girl and getting hung up

shoot for 5+ numbers a day, eventually you'll get some girls that are actually worth the time and effort, instead of this one who you most likely barley know but find attractive who is blowing you off, hit her up for some practise talking to girls, but expect that she won't sleep with you, just stop asking her out, and get yourself friend zoned, talk to her through text until the number goes completely dead, or she asks you out to do something, text her maybe 1-2 times a week max

focus more on making girls horny and getting to know them, rather then pleasing them so they like you, please yourself so you enjoy the time you spend with the girl, do what you enjoy, and say what you enjoy, if she isn't enjoying it too, then you probably wouldn't click well in a sexual relationship or get along well

GOOD LUCK


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 Post subject: Just a thought
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:06 am 
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Joined: Wed May 25, 2011 5:09 am
Posts: 41
Sometimes reciprocating or even just flaking in general can get you points.

Had an HB9, I'd honestly say 10..but there's alot hotter in this world of course.
But anyways, I basically started doing PUA, in order to get her (2 years ago)

She had opened to me over FB in may, we got textual and shit, we're going to do some dance thing, I flaked (without telling, douche move, oh well.)

Had a party i was going to, invited her, she came, shit went down.
She said she missed me ALOT (I freezed her out from May-August, not intentionally..just was too busy toking, chilling with bros, lifting...kinda stopped all contact with every girl I had in the bag at the time.)
So, sometimes flaking or reciprocating a flake after she flakes, does you wonders. Since you "have other options" besides her.

My case was a bit long term, however.


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