I tried to post this in the relationship section but it said I needed 20 posts.
So long story short I got a girl to break up with her bf of 2 years which was her first for everything.Shes 18 I'm 24.
We have been seeing each other for about 2 months now. She said they still talked once in a while and I was fine with that at first but I always wondered what they talked about. I got so curious I checked her phone and sure enough there was messages asking him to hang out, saying she didnt see us going anywhere in the long run but admitted she had feelings for me. She told him we had sex and he asked details but then said its not really necessary to tell u if were not getting back together.
I didnt tell her I read the messages but I just asked when they talked last what they talked about if they plan on hanging out, all of which she lied about because I knew the answer.I pushed it until she finally admitted they drunk txted the other night (which happenened to be the one night she never txted me back and said she lost her phone.)Then i said how I couldnt trust her she just lied to my face and she started crying saying how sorry she was and how she would make more of an effort.I feel like shes lieing to me or the ex to spare our feelings and right now it seems like shes lieing to me.
I dont know what to do now I dont know if its as simple as just ignoring her. I could really use some advice!

Thanks.

Yah I've been in a similar situation but on the side opposite from you. My ex kept hitting me up trying to meet up and telling me she still loves me and blahblahblah. I was seeing somebody else at the time so I ignored all of her bullshit but picked up the phone to entertain myself. THEN my buddy tells me that he has been dating her the whole time she's been hitting me up. So I told her we could go out to a restaurant we used to go to all the time, and I told my bud when and where we will be so he could come confront her. He came, they bitched at each other, and I left.

That story doesn't help you at all BUT I agree with Tony that it's a matter of self-respect. You know those lame facebook statuses girls used to put up where it said, "I'm a priority, not another option?" Well apply that shit to yourself. This girl is possibly using you to either forget her ex or to get him jealous. You deserve better than being objectified by some girl you're probably not going to be with for very long. That lack of trust is gonna get you more paranoid later on, trust me.

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yeah thats what I was thinking too. I do like this girl alot though and I dont want to give up yet. I tell myself its normal for her to still have feelings for this guy but she did basically break up with him for me. That has to count for something doesn't it? I was thinking of just ignoring her txts for a few hours and pretend I am busy and not always be available for her. I wouldn't mind still hanging out for the sex lol.

Tony nailed it. I've been in similar situations from both sides... she's trying to get the best of both worlds.

Unfortunately for you, Tony's right... pull yourself away from the situation. If you aren't comfortable in a rebound position, then walk away. If you're more than a rebound, you'll find out pretty soon after you do that.

Do not fall for this girl. I've been in an almost identical situation and it ended very badly.

Why did you check her phone?

I get it: your gut told you something was up. Isn't instinct enough in a situation like that?

I know you're human and most everyone would want to look. But now that you have, you know the following:

1. There's no trust between the two of you
2. She is gleaning whatever enjoyment she can from you and another man
3. She sees no long-term future with you

What do you think you should do here?

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

Ditch her.

she's young man, 18 and 24 although not a massive age difference is a big maturity gap! she basically still a teen, she is not mature enough at this time to want the same things as you.

Just an update you were right lol.She ended it today. I planned on doing it today too. She was a great girl I wish I wasn't such an AFC! I know I blew it after saw those txts and I got jealous and had this long talk with her. I'm clueless what to do when I actually get the girl. Any advice?

Thanks.

I HATE these kinds of situations. They really really piss me off. I can't stand a girl that lies, in any way. If she kept in contact with her ex but told you about it that would be ok.

You can't trust her.

Call her out on it.

If it continues...

EJECT

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Now, bring me that horizon!

im about to see my girl and think that its best to just not talk about it or bring him up any more?

need advice quick~!

As much as you feel for this girl, do you think she's ready for a relationship? Is her head in it, and more importantly, is her heart in it? It's not fair to you to be on cleanup duty after that guy left this girl an emotional mess.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

I saw no signs of her not being ready for a relationship, its been pretty much all laughs and good times.. this is the first time shes broke down like this.... i think her heart is in it with me.... not all of it though and she admits it... shes scared of being hurt again... and i honestly wouldnt unless i see a reason to leave... i just dont get how shes tripping over something this beta dude did 2 years back... females and their fuckin emotions

Bring it up. This is an obstacle to your relationship. If you don't cross it now it will end up biting you in the ass. Call her on it, explain to her why it bothers you. Say it nicely but firmly. If she is really in the relationship then she will understand and she'll stop. A general rule for relationships is that you should not ignore anything. If there is a problem you should try to sort it out as soon as possible, otherwise you are only leading yourself to heartbreak.

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Now, bring me that horizon!

MY IDEA on this is that it's all about the PAVLOV effect. If you don't know it, ask wikipedia to show it!

Negative reinforcement maybe 'less smiles' or less eye contact etc can also be used for a situation where there is 'refusal' or dismissal of your interests.

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booze and weed is all you need!