when a girl you know likes you says 'NO!'



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:45 pm 
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i just wanted to get some clarity on this because there seems to be two trains of thought on this one:

1) pua's in the main say forget her, 'next' her and move on in the hope that she will come chasing the guy...whereas,

2) some seem to think that girls say no in order to 'test' a guy to see how sincere he is and if he DOESN'T persist then she will think that he wasn't that interested in her and then she will 'next' the guy.

so which is it? which is the best approach for a girl you really like. and there is nothing wrong with liking a girl. i mean, what's the point of 'nexting' every girl you really like???


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:57 pm 
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i just wanted to get some clarity on this because there seems to be two trains of thought on this one:

1) pua's in the main say forget her, 'next' her and move on in the hope that she will come chasing the guy...whereas,

2) some seem to think that girls say no in order to 'test' a guy to see how sincere he is and if he DOESN'T persist then she will think that he wasn't that interested in her and then she will 'next' the guy.

so which is it? which is the best approach for a girl you really like. and there is nothing wrong with liking a girl. i mean, what's the point of 'nexting' every girl you really like???
Hey mate,

the best approach for a girl you really like is an honest approach (at some point). You look her dead in the eye and you tell her you like her. If she says no, you have played your cards and she doesnt want them. There is no point in you 'persisting'. If she on her side wasnt honest, and she actually was testing you, the joke is on her. If she really want to see more of you, she will come after you and you will have passed the lousy test/game. If she doesnt, then all she ever wanted was playing to see how far you would go along.

If you are sincere, and she really likes you, she aint gonna test you if you are persistant enough. If she does, she will realize her mistake fast :).

that is my opinion on this.

cheers!

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:03 pm 
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i just wanted to get some clarity on this because there seems to be two trains of thought on this one:

1) pua's in the main say forget her, 'next' her and move on in the hope that she will come chasing the guy...whereas,

2) some seem to think that girls say no in order to 'test' a guy to see how sincere he is and if he DOESN'T persist then she will think that he wasn't that interested in her and then she will 'next' the guy.

so which is it? which is the best approach for a girl you really like. and there is nothing wrong with liking a girl. i mean, what's the point of 'nexting' every girl you really like???
Hey mate,

the best approach for a girl you really like is an honest approach (at some point). You look her dead in the eye and you tell her you like her. If she says no, you have played your cards and she doesnt want them. There is no point in you 'persisting'. If she on her side wasnt honest, and she actually was testing you, the joke is on her. If she really want to see more of you, she will come after you and you will have passed the lousy test/game. If she doesnt, then all she ever wanted was playing to see how far you would go along.

If you are sincere, and she really likes you, she aint gonna test you if you are persistant enough. If she does, she will realize her mistake fast :).

that is my opinion on this.

cheers!
ok, cool. this is what i did. i looked her in the eye and told her i liked her. i told her to give me her hand, she said she didnt want to give me her hand, so i said 'just give me your hand', which she did and i held it and stroked it, and she stroked it back whilst i said 'i like you'. she wanted to think about it but i said i wanted a yes or a no. she then said no to which i said that's ok and that was that.

she then emailed me about ten minutes later saying 'i cant go out with you cos im scared it will go wrong', then she came up to me and said nervously 'dont answer that email'. but i did anyway, saying 'id still like to take you out and i think it'll be ok' but she didnt respond. i shouldnt do any more, right? i know she likes me. she admitted it. so what is she playing at?


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:33 pm 
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I admire your courage bro, but it seems to me like she's just getting a buzz out of the attention your giving her and has no real plans for you in the future,

Thats just my opinion though, i could be wrong, good luck!!


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:35 pm 
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I admire your courage bro, but it seems to me like she's just getting a buzz out of the attention your giving her and has no real plans for you in the future,

Thats just my opinion though, i could be wrong, good luck!!
what makes you say that though. there are mnay variables here that could be the answer. that is just one of them. yes, you could be wrong. i hope so anyway. lol.

humans are complicated.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:35 pm 
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Next. There is no point persisting in a girl who says yes and then no and then yes and then no.

Go no contact and delete her contact info. If she actually does like you she will want to reinitiate contact. Seriously, ask yourself, does she deserve your attention? She flat out IGNORED your email. Disrespectful much? It would be to me. Fuck that, she is just too cowardly to straight up tell you she doesn't want to be with you.

Seriously, stop talking to this chick because she is LITERALLY WASTING YOUR TIME. You said yes or no. She said no. STOP PURSUING HER. Don't give her any attention. Move on.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:40 pm 
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Next. There is no point persisting in a girl who says yes and then no and then yes and then no.

Go no contact and delete her contact info. If she actually does like you she will want to reinitiate contact. Seriously, ask yourself, does she deserve your attention? She flat out IGNORED your email. Disrespectful much? It would be to me. Fuck that, she is just too cowardly to straight up tell you she doesn't want to be with you.

Seriously, stop talking to this chick because she is LITERALLY WASTING YOUR TIME. You said yes or no. She said no. STOP PURSUING HER. Don't give her any attention. Move on.
i know you're right. yes, i dont like being ignored. but i like her. boo hoo.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:41 pm 
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Next. There is no point persisting in a girl who says yes and then no and then yes and then no.

Go no contact and delete her contact info. If she actually does like you she will want to reinitiate contact. Seriously, ask yourself, does she deserve your attention? She flat out IGNORED your email. Disrespectful much? It would be to me. Fuck that, she is just too cowardly to straight up tell you she doesn't want to be with you.

Seriously, stop talking to this chick because she is LITERALLY WASTING YOUR TIME. You said yes or no. She said no. STOP PURSUING HER. Don't give her any attention. Move on.
i know you're right. yes, i dont like being ignored. but i like her. boo hoo.
Dude this screams oneitis. Get the fuck out and delete her contact info right now.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:47 pm 
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Next. There is no point persisting in a girl who says yes and then no and then yes and then no.

Go no contact and delete her contact info. If she actually does like you she will want to reinitiate contact. Seriously, ask yourself, does she deserve your attention? She flat out IGNORED your email. Disrespectful much? It would be to me. Fuck that, she is just too cowardly to straight up tell you she doesn't want to be with you.

Seriously, stop talking to this chick because she is LITERALLY WASTING YOUR TIME. You said yes or no. She said no. STOP PURSUING HER. Don't give her any attention. Move on.
i know you're right. yes, i dont like being ignored. but i like her. boo hoo.
Dude this screams oneitis. Get the fuck out and delete her contact info right now.
lol. i deleted that ages ago....

too bad we work together....:-(


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:51 pm 
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i know you're right. yes, i dont like being ignored. but i like her. boo hoo.
Dude this screams oneitis. Get the fuck out and delete her contact info right now.
lol. i deleted that ages ago....

too bad we work together....:-(
That sucks royally. The best thing for you to do is to go out and meet many girls, and you will see that you will have chemistry with quite a few of them. And you'll realize this one wasn't so special after all.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:55 pm 
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Dude this screams oneitis. Get the fuck out and delete her contact info right now.
lol. i deleted that ages ago....

too bad we work together....:-(
That sucks royally. The best thing for you to do is to go out and meet many girls, and you will see that you will have chemistry with quite a few of them. And you'll realize this one wasn't so special after all.
well, thats just it. i have gone out and met many girls and we DONT have the chemistry that me and this girl have....:-(


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:41 am 
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Hey mate,

just one last thought. I dont know what she is playing at. and frankly, if i was in your position, i wouldnt reallyl bust my head over it, because it will drive you mad. I know you would like to hear some trick or tip that will throw her at your feet (or close to that :) ), but there isnt one.

I just wanted to give you a thought on the chemistry you are feeling.... If you really like somebody, but really liked her, and she comes to you and she told you dead in the face that she likes you a lot, would you say maybe? Would the first thought in your head be: this might not work out?

think about it. I would not go as far as ignoring her. I would be open and friendly to her, but take more distance, certainly on an emotional level. It might be that you are the only one that feels this special chemistry.

Just think about it.

I wish you the best of luck!

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 7:40 am 
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Hey mate,

just one last thought. I dont know what she is playing at. and frankly, if i was in your position, i wouldnt reallyl bust my head over it, because it will drive you mad. I know you would like to hear some trick or tip that will throw her at your feet (or close to that :) ), but there isnt one.

I just wanted to give you a thought on the chemistry you are feeling.... If you really like somebody, but really liked her, and she comes to you and she told you dead in the face that she likes you a lot, would you say maybe? Would the first thought in your head be: this might not work out?

think about it. I would not go as far as ignoring her. I would be open and friendly to her, but take more distance, certainly on an emotional level. It might be that you are the only one that feels this special chemistry.

Just think about it.

I wish you the best of luck!
yes, that is what i am doing at the moment. keeping my distance.

i just wasn't sure what she wants. i kind of get the feeling she wants me to apply the pressure or talk her into it almost. she's quite an indecisive person under normal circumstances.

like when i took her hand the other week. at first she resisted but when i was firm with her she gave it to me.

perhaps if i were to go all caveman on her, pull her aside and go for the kiss, what do you think?


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 8:58 am 
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well,

to be honest, i think it might be a good idea! But... only do it if you are prepared for the worst case scenario. If you know you can take the worst case scenario, what would hold you back from going all caveman?

What i am implying also is: you want to go all caveman because you feel like she needs somebody to convince her. But if the kiss doesnt work... what is the next thing you are going to try? Where will you draw the line between being persistent and being 'enslaved'?

good luck mate!

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 9:39 am 
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like when i took her hand the other week. at first she resisted but when i was firm with her she gave it to me.
dude, maybe this wasn't thoroughly explained well enough when you wrote your first initial posts, one of the first parts of the pickup, is the screening process, getting to know her, seeing what she is like, screening for compliance, screening for chemistry, everything

lets put it this way man, this girl is not sexually available for you right now, she is not interested in sleeping with you, but because you work together, she gives you an ''I like you, but no'' to protect your ego, so you get away from this ordeal without a hurt sense of pride, she gave you the nice girl SPAM

she also told you she had another guy, then later came up with a different excuse from a different frame that she just wans't sure it would... blah blah blah

her behavior is highly inconsistent from her words
Quote:
perhaps if i were to go all caveman on her, pull her aside and go for the kiss, what do you think?
I know you're super needy for this girl, but you don't have chemistry with her at all, this is a one sided infatuation because you don't have anything else going for you, you say that you are meeting alot of girls etc., but obviously things aren't working out for you and it isn't a regular thing, or just asking a girl out on a date wouldn't been as big a deal for you as it was, you have to get that shit handled in your life, not cling to every girl you make an emotional investment into, if it really means that much to you just to invest as little as asking a girl out, then you need to put yourself out there more until making your pitch isn't a big deal to you anymore, it's easy to think an attractive girl is perfect, if that's the only attractive girl you know and socialize with, some guys even go so far as to take extreme disrespect to the point of abuse just because a girl is good looking and gives them attention when other girls don't (even if the attention is negative and abusive), and they will justify this with retarded reasons, like, she's so smart, she's funny, she's special, she's just joking around

if you were having sex with a girl who was just as good looking, you probably wouldn't give a shit about this girl, what kind of chemistry could you possibly have with a girl, that is even hesitant to give you her hand (you can get this kind of compliance from alot of girls, without even speaking to them, let alone actually having rapport, such a low level of investment on her end to turn down), what kind of chemistry could you have with a girl that isn't even willing to go on a date with you, not even to humour you?

doing this sort of thing at work when you have already had signs that she is non compliant, is just down right creepy and it's likely just going to lead towards trouble rather then sex, you're playing with fire

you're going to do what you're going to do, after all emotion is involved in this, but just as it has been posted before, keep shit professional at work, don't get all creepy and start hitting on her when she has no out, especially when she's expressed she isn't into it, but you do what you do, and don't be upset if this goes terrible for you, and she ends up trying to avoid you, or making complaints

she's already been looking for the exit, let it be, talk to other girls, and sleep with them, if you're not getting laid, the answer is not more focus on one girl who is not interested, the answer is more focus on getting laid in general and talking to as many women as it takes to make that goal attainable, if this was within your reach and easily accessable, it's highly unlikely something like this would be of a high emotional relevance to you as girls quickly lose their lustre when they waste time or do weird shit and you have better options

and on top of that, if this girl had any interest in you, she'd be trying to get that date, instead of trying to avoid it, compliance says it all


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