I was reading something interesting on here yesterday (long post) about buying girls dinner etc.. and a lot of people saying how they would make the girl pay half.
I am no mug and aware of a gold digger but I always thought it Gentlemanly that two/three dates in the guys pays etc..

anyway and moving on from that specific point, i just want to know what you guys think is the difference between being a gentleman and an AFC..

What is the main difference? what is ok and what isn't?

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here to learn.. thats all.

depends how Alpha you are.
wanna take control? Stand Out? dont pay!
If still you want to dhv order Wine Or something

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I think that every successful man should have 3 women at his funeral. One that's crying, one that's smiling and one that's buying things on her laptop with his will.

How is ordering wine DHV?

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

i hear a lot of puas saying dont pay i disagree mainly because its rude its like not holding the door for an old lady just imply that shes doing a job for you and you want to return the favor.exmp- i took a girl shopping for clothes with me and told her she ws my personal stylist so wen the check came(lunch) i used that as a way to take the check plus it makes me feel amog to pay but thats just me

Afc and gentlemen are two different things.

Afc is someone, that doesn't lead, doesn't have much control of the frame and let's the HB take over often enough. This is when sometimes the HB will abuse it and get hold of a free lunch or somewhat, and that's when buying dinner is afc.

Gentlemen is someone who is kind and will pay for dinners, hold doors and do thinks for the HB. Although to do this correctly and successfully you must be alpha at the same time so you don't get walked over, you must lead the way and control the frame while being a gentleman.

I'd say the best thing to do is buy something once in a while, don't go paying for every date/coffee/lunch etc, being spontaneous is always good, and if she ever expects you to pay, put her in her place.

Although personally I never really pay for anyything at all

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I do know 1 thing though, bitches they come they go

A gentleman has boundaries. Think of a wall---> thats a regular stronger person. Think of a wall with spikes----> thats an asshole. Think of a wall with pillows -----> thats a gentleman.

You can be a AFC and gentleman. AFC just means you have no game. You don't know how to attract.

A gentleman ensures that everyone around him is comfortable. You're paying for her dinner and creating a fun environment. You can still do that and not be AFC.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

are you paying for dinner because you genuinely feel it's the right way, and it's what makes you comfortable? or because you are afraid of being judged, afraid the girl will not deliver or stuff like that?

I have the rule that I am not a sugar daddy, and the girl is not a sugar mommy. We can split expenses, albeit it does not need to be accurate to the penny, and everything will be fine. I wanna get her a little something, I will do it. On my terms.

One night, my GF had no cash. I paid for food, I paid for drinks. Then she wanted a soda. I gave her some dollars and she went to buy it. She came back with change, 2 or 3 dollars. I told her to keep it so she would have lots of cash and be rich and wealthy. I genuinely wanted her to keep the change, I knew she would be fine with me getting it back, and she would still be all over me. But I was happy to let her have those few bucks. That's not AFC.

As a side note, the next weekend she bought me breakfast, paid me a SPA, and later bought me brownies.

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nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

You can be a gentleman without paying for everything. I tend to adjust my mannerisms based on the girl I am with. If I'm with a girl who needs a gentleman I'll behave like one. I'll pull out her chair to sit down, hold doors open, help her with her coat etc... One of my ex-girlfriends taught me these things and I've found them amazing for making girls comfortable around me. You can kino when doing them and also she feels safe, protected and looked-after by you.

While displaying these gentlemanly qualities you can still neg and tease if you wish. You can also split bills or take turns to pay. To me a gentleman doesn't have to be an SPAM just like a bad boy doesn't have to refuse to pay or be an asshole 24/7. It's about how you make her feel rather than financial agreements.

ordering wine shows sophistication which is a high value trait. right?

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I think that every successful man should have 3 women at his funeral. One that's crying, one that's smiling and one that's buying things on her laptop with his will.

Depends on whether you understand wine, can talk about it and are able to order quality bottles rather than just saying drinking wine makes you look sophisticated. Plenty of chavs drink it too. It's all about the way you frame ordering or drinking wine. I think on a night out somewhere social it can be good to drink something other than beer as it gives you a different imagine. I like cocktails but drink wine sometimes and find it can be positive for building rapport with the types of girls who desperately want to appear classy.

Paying for dinner itself doesn't make you a gentleman. If you are the type of person who pays for everyone, then it's alright to pay for her.

If you are paying to impress her, then that is coming from a needy frame and she will smell it.

Ask yourself why you are paying, because of social conventions? Because you think she is expecting it (most women don't like it when you pay for them, as they think they are now obligated to repay you somehow, and usually they know you expect them to repay with sex or at least a kiss)?

After you know the answer, calibrate yourself. Remember, at the date you are not trying to impress her, you are checking to see if she is a potential suitor to YOU. Stick with your humor, your personality, if she likes it great! If not then NEXT!

If you're going to be getting to know somebody, you may as well enjoy your drink while you do. If you like wine or are curious about a glass, by all means, order it! But I don't understand ordering it for the sake of seeming important.

Also, if you like beer, even a domestic bottle, that's fine. A man's favorite is a man's favorite. But you know what gets me? The dumbass that asks the waitress to recite the beer menu, then orders the Bud Light. What up with that?

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

I pay when I order. I get a bottle of wine, I pay for it. I order a round of scotch for the table I pay for it. She decides she wants something different, she pays.

When I go to dinner, same rule; if I order I pay. Ask her what she likes to eat on the way to the restaurant and when we get to the restaurant order for her without getting a specific menu item from her but rather based on what she said prior.

It's a classic gentlemen move to order for the lady. Most ladies aren't going to be ready for it but will accept it.

But the basic rule is I pay for things that are my decisions.