she then emailed me saying:

'i can't go out with you because im scared it will go wrong.'

then she came up to my desk and said 'don't reply to my email.'

well, you can let her know that you appreciate her honesty, and you don't feel the same way (you'd still like to take her out and it would be ok)

but beyond that, no point in pressing her hard or anything, let her bow out

girls have trouble saying no, instead they say yes then think of how they can get out of it, or sometimes just get skittish and nervous and don't know what to do, just stay certain of yourself but don't get needy, remain sure of your choice, outside of work, you can use this girlish non no saying behavior to your advantage, but here she is your co-worker so it is most likely a poor social choice to not allow things to go back to normal

the offer is on the table, who knows maybe she will keep thinking about it and as long as you don't get weird or start doing weird ass shit to her at work, she may just switch up her stance and take you up on the offer

but avoid that footsy shit, with the hand caressing etc. now that you know there is interest, save that shit for the date, not for at work

GOOD LUCK

so you dont think i should tell her that she is confusing me by her last email or anything?

i should just sit tight now?

its clear she likes me now. all this time she liked me and i did nothing!!!

you simply be normal, like you were before you asked her out, don't get all weird and start hitting on her hardcore or playing up the touching cause you now don't have the fear holding you back, the point is, don't get all focused on this, you asked her out, you let her know you like her, she let you know she likes you back but she isn't available, take her word on it, don't change you mind about liking her and wanting to take her on a date, hold that frame, if she's worried, you are not, you are sure of what you want, and you want her, but you will not pressure her for it, just let her know how you feel, but keep things professional at work, don't try to force a date, she knows you want one, be patient and in the meantime, how ever long that is, go meet more girls, and ask them out, don't mention you are doing so to her (if that wasn't obvious already)

lol eurika, now imagine if you asked out 5+ girls a day, and got good at cold approaching

good work man, you did something that you were slightly uncomfortable with, bet that feels great

thanks guys....