Hi,

I'm new to the forum but after an interesting weekend, I feel the need to reach out to the community for some advice. I've been successful with just about every ethnicity out there but have always had a tough time with Vietnamese women. All of the Viet women I have met are absolutely beautiful and have such an attractive mindset and work ethic but I've always had a challenge with taking them to the next level outside of the friend zone. A little background behind me, I am 100% 4th generation Mexican living in the Bay Area of California. I've done decently well for myself and continue to find success in an excellent Internet Marketing career. I have been a little frustrated by always ending up in the friend zone with Viet women rather than getting in the attraction zone. I've noticed that they need to be led much more than others and they will never give signs that they are ready for it to be taken to the next level. My question to the forum is if you have had challenges with not only Viet women but also if you have had challenges with women of other cultures. If you are a Latino that has successfully attracted a Viet woman then I would love to hear about it. Any ideas or tips on this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

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just change your belief that it takes something different, she might have a certain degree of cultural/social programming to get through, but if you are attractive enough it won't matter

it's sort of weird to see someone who blames a lack of success on these factors, think of it like this, you may find white girls to be the most unattractive, or black girls to be the most unattractive, or spanish, or asian, or east asian, or women from tropical islands, but you can bet from what ever ethnicities that are not your preference, there will be girls from that ethnicity that you are attracted to, and girls from this ethnicity that you are not attracted to same goes for girls all ethnicities, there are really not many acceptions to this, attraction is not really a choice, and girls and guys attract each other, they may posses a cultral bias, but if you are attractive, it won't really matter

now with that being said, viets are no different, change your limiting belief, you don't want to be the next insecure dude posting topics in lounge about how your race is the reason you can't find success, your post sort of gives off the vibe that you have one viet girl in particular in mind, you just gotta go after lots of girls instead of one in particular

some companies and guys, even make it a selling point to pray on these insecurities selling guys dreams like, ''teach asian guys how to pickup white girls'' or ''teach guys how to pick up asian girls'', you know what the secret is? start seeing people as people, and stop seeing them as a stereotype that represents their ethnic background, hit on girls like you would any girl, and stop expecting to see signs of interest, start going first without knowing for sure, instead of needing to be sure before hand, trust in yourself, rather then having to trust in her, and when you see they are not interested, move on and find another, just set the frame that you won't be friends, and you simply won't be friends, you'll either be having sex or she will show clear dis-interest, the ''friend zone'' is only really a problem when you can't express your intentions

a white 9/10, a black 9/10, a spanish 9/10, and asian 9/10 are all going to be attractive, and if you take a sample of ''asians'' with about 100 asians, they will not all share the same universal racial preference in a partner, but the vast majority would consider all these 9/10s to be attractive, so if you have just one viet girl in mind, and she has expressed dis-interest, then just move on, if viets are your thing, just keep hitting up viets, they are not all the same

That. I can help you with. I'm Vietnamese, so I know a thing or two about their mindset.

The first thing you need to do is clean up and look professional, Viet people have this stereotype that Mexican is sort of lazy and ghetto. Nothing wrong with you, it's just the typical racial prejudice we all have to overcome when it comes to interracial dating. Show them you have amazing work ethic and family oriented.

Second, Viet women or Asian in general were raised by a strict culture where they need to fulfill the society gender role for women rather than for their personal success. With that said, they have certain rules and guidelines to act upon. They're required to be courted and decent amount of sincere and effort needed to be put in.

Third, after all they are just like every other race women, they're operating the same way, experiencing the same emotions. The point is you shouldn't game them different because of the race. But just calibrate your sexual escalation according to the woman.

Here is what you can do, subtle flirt! They like that, you can use all other PUA techniques you learn to build attraction and rapport. However, when it comes to kino escalate and sexual, set a slow pace. And use sexual innuendos, do not go bold or direct. They might like how direct you are, but they won't act on it because there are eyes on them. Asian community within a town is small and they gossip a lot. Your best chance is taking them away from their part of town and get them alone so they can act freely upon their personalities. As for how not to end up in friendzone, if you get a chance, hold their hand and caress them. You don't have to state your intention clearly, but through subtle action, she will understand it. Hand caressing and holding is a couple symbol in Viet culture.

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GKS, I have a few "observations" about Asian people in particular (Viet included) that I am wondering whether you can confirm or deny...

1. Asian people have a different "personal space". I notice this a lot in the workplace. American men typically need 3-4 feet of personal space to feel comfortable, where as the Vietnamese men tend to be comfortable standing mere inches from another man without any lack of comfort. Do you feel this is true, and does this apply to the women as well?

2. Asian people, (Japanese in particular), do not like to say "No".. They do not like to disagree. They do not like direct confrontation, and will be more submissive to authority figures or people of higher social status.

3. Social status is very keenly observed. Americans tend to think of themselves, by and large, as "equals" and as such, poor people are just as bold and outspoken as wealthy people.. Just as entitled. Asian people, generally, are not. If you are successful you are entitled to an opinion unless there is a more successful person present. And as it goes, down the line.

4. In the English (and most Western languages), the burden of understanding is on the speaker. As I am typing this, I am thinking "How can I best express my ideas in order for my audience to understand me."

In many Asian languages, this is the opposite..

For example, a conversation in English:

"Hey, would you pass me the tea?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Thank you!"


And in an Asian language...

"I am thinking I would very much enjoy some tea right now."

"Here, let me get you some."

"Indeed, that would be great!"




Notice, how the speaker in the Asian language is leaving the interpretation of his words up to his/her audience... It is up to the audience to understand that the other person (especially if his/her superior) is asking for something and that they should fetch it for them..


Again, I'm no specialist in this area but I do find Asian cultures (especially Japanese) very interesting, and I have come across these ideas more than once.

I figured, if true, these may help the OP to better connect with his Viet interest.