Day 17, 2 August 2012
I finished 5 set in three and half hour. This took me too much time.

My fourth set was a HB8. She was really happy that I approached her. When I was asking for a drink, she said that I was still a stranger. And she thinks meeting her boyfriend at train station is weird. It is ok to have a drink as a friend but not anything else. I should have just said of course just as friend. I don’t know if I will enjoy spending time with you and brought up some qualifiers.

My last set. After talking for 5 min, I suddenly remember that I approached her last year but she does not remember anymore. But then the conversation was about our jobs. We talked for a while and her phone rang and she had to meet her friend in the station.

Assessment: I had three hooked conversations. This was better than many previous days. But I also missed a lot of sets because I procrastinate after I decide to approach. If it takes too long for me to catch up a girl in the street, I feel that I am a stalker with low value and eject. I need to give myself some mission besides just 5 approaches every day, say 2 hooked conversations, breaking the rapport after hooking up…

Day 18, 3 August 2012
Today I just made three approaches. I made the first approach half an hour after leaving home. But later on, I could not approach for many hours because I procrastinated between identifying the targets and approaching them. This is really becoming a problem now. The three sets I approached were either waiting at a tram stop or going to take a tram. So I did not get anything. And because I was taking too much time and mental struggle, I did not go to a social gathering on Friday night which I planned to go. Lack of social circle is also a problem affecting my state.

Just two questions: am I going to approach or not going to approach? If I approach, am I going to follow her for half an hour or run to her right now in three seconds?

Day 19, 4 August 2012
Today I wasted my whole day at home in front of computer. I felt bad about how I procrastinated between identifying the target and finally approaching them.

Day 20, 5 August 2012

I left home too late, around 2030. I went to the library and borrowed a book and came to the train station. Procrastination was happening again between identifying the target and approaching and I could not approach at all. When I was sneaking around the tram stop, a girl I approached three days ago recognized me and she was actually very happy to see me. She was with her boyfriend and told him how she met me. He did not say anything. I was surprised and said how come you were here. My energy was really low at the moment. When I met this girl, my energy was high and I was brilliant but now I can’t do anything and I am a loser.

Tomorrow I am going to a class in the morning and I will not come back home if I don’t finish my 5 sets.

Day 21, 6 august 2012
I did three sets today. I intended to approach after my class but I was too sleepy from last night. So I went home and took a nap. I went out around 1830 and made two approaches in an hour. They were single sets. I was not feeling good about myself so I was very nervous in the set and did not have a hooked conversation. I had to go a social event about public speech around 1930. So I went to the rendezvous and met my friends. A girl passed by on a bicycle and I chased up when she stopped. I commented on her legs in stockings

Me: I guess you favourite food is a sort of pasta named stocking pasta, black outside and yellow inside.
Her: is this real or you made it up?
Me: I made everything up.
She had to join her friend in a restaurant and I proposed a drink.
Her: do you live here?
Me: I lived her for four years (in local language)
Her: why you were speaking English then?
Me: I am a perfectionist.
Her:…I had to join my friend now so I don’t have time.
Me: what about tomorrow?
Her: tomorrow I am going for vacation.
Me: give me your number. I will find a time.
Her: do you have facebook?
Me: I do but I never update it. And you number is 06…?
Her: 06****. I expect to hear from you.
She will probably flake as I did not have much time to build up the rapport but I will text her anyway.

As I find it very difficult to make approach alone because I procrastinate, it is very easy to be active when you have your friends around. I still want to do this alone because I can improve faster in a more hostile environment. But is there a way that I can actually imagine that I have some friends around?

The social even about public speech was interesting. They are very structured and organized as there are prints about the agenda and people whose task is to give you comments. I was picked up by the president to give a short speech about a random topic, a disqualified 100-meter athlete in Olympic game now addressing the press. I said ‘why not’ and delivered a more of performance than a speech to present the mental status of that athlete. It was short but all audience enjoyed it. I got a card as a trophy from the president. It is definitely good to improve your speech skill by joining a club like this. But knowing the commitment required, I need to think about it. I will join the event two weeks from now to know more about it before I make a decision.

Day 22, August 7 2012
I did three approaches today. I finished the first two pretty quickly when I am on my way home from the library. The I did only one approach after I came out from home again. I also notice that I feel less pressure when I am on my way to somewhere than going out just to hit on girls. I only feel the pressure and my energy drops if I go out just for sarging especially if I don’t approach for half an hour.

First set was a hooked conversation. She was on her way to a date. When I proposed a drink, she said she does not live here anymore from next month and this is not going to work out. I should have told her that we are not talking about working out or not for now because I don’t know if I would enjoy spending time with you.

The 2nd approach was a three set. I was too close to her when I stopped her. So she was scared. After I delivered my opener, she said she had to go. So I wanted to stop her again, then one of her friends blocked me and told me to go away. I asked why and she got angry. Then I ejected. This just killed my state. My third approach was a few hours later after I left home again. But because of not approaching for some time, I was like a stalker. My voice was low, not really confident. So nothing worked out.

Today I will just try sarging on my way to my daily chore and finish my mission.

Day 23, 9 August 2012
I approached 6 sets today. I did it with another PUA friend. It is much easier to do it with wings. The longest set was with a model. She is a 9. The conversation was long because she was waiting for a friend to leave from her work and that shop was just nearby. I felt that I was asking too many questions. But she is open to me. She even told me her grandma passed away a week ago. But she would not go for a drink with me because she needs to join her friend immediately and she will be out of town in the next week. The other approaches did not last long. I almost got a phone number but she ‘woke up from being hypnotized’ and changed her mind.

I noticed that there was not much conversation between my opening and closing.

Day 24, 10 august 2012
I did not do a single approach today. I wandered around alone. After following 3 sets without approaching, I found it even more difficult to approach. I felt worse when some other PUA friends told me they were getting numbers and instant date. I hate wandering around in the street just to hit on girls. I feel that I am a stalker.

Day 25, 11 august 2012
I did 4 approaches today. The first and fourth sets are hooked conversation but I don’t know why I did not have the gut to close. I noticed that the fourth girl asked me where I was going when I said I had to get off the tram. I should have just asked for the phone number at this moment.
Assessment: still I need to shorten the gap between my approaches.

Day 26, 12 august 2012
I did 7 approaches today. I had my PUA friends with me today from 16. And we were doing kind of contest, to get a phone number within 15 min and to kiss close during daytime approach. I tried daytime kiss close. Although there was no success, I felt good about myself. In one of those approaches, I started to talk slowly in a seductive tone and it worked. One of my wing said she liked me. And I got her phone number. She is an English tourist and she did not reply. But night game was terrible. I made only one approach for 3 hours, and I was pushed to.do that approach. One of my PUA friend said that I was an approaching machine back one year ago. I think now I went backward and I am not the only one who suffers from this.

Assessment: I can’t push myself to go in more and more difficult sets for now. So I decide to look for wingman for both day and night game. Otherwise, I will just repeat what I do without making progress. And I decide to do night game as well. And every time when I am sarging, I will try to do something crazy, kiss close during day time approach for instance.

Day 27, 12 august 2012
Today I was just lazy, not feeling doing anything.

Day 28, 13 august 2012
Today I made just one approach. I got her phone number but I don’t think she will ever reply as I got a feeling that she will flake. She was asking how old I was when I proposed to have a drink. I told her that I was 30 and she was unhappy and told me that she was just 17, which was a big surprise to me. She also told me that she did not want to have a drink with a stranger. This is not the first time that I got this comment. There are two different ways to improve on this, to have a better connection or to seduce her more with a better frame.

When I was procrastinating between spotting and approaching the target, a thought came into my mind. If you approach, you make yourself better than 99% of people. This thought motivated me to approach. Later on, I did not feel like wandering around in city centre and hitting on girls anymore. So I went back home.

Day 29, 14 august 2012
I woke up a bit late and kept on procrastinating on everything. I ended up sitting in front of computer and doing almost nothing serious. This is bad. This is partly because I do not have a proper social network or a proper job. If I don’t do anything or make little contact with other people, I got de-energized. Another thing going in my mind is that if I can go from approaching no one to approaching a girl in the street, this is a very big step ahead. If I can go from approaching one set to two set, it is also a step forward, but a shorter step that the previous one. If I can go from approaching a walking girl to a sitting girl, it is also another step forward, but still a shorter and easier step that the first step, etc… I can break my comfort zone like this step by step. And it should be less difficult than the very first step I took.

Day 30-32, 15-17 august 2012
i made just 1 approach in a whole week. this is really bad. i was totally wasted. I woke up late and then kept on wasting time. there were two days of this week that i did not go anywhere except the supermarket. Yesterday when i was walking, i realized that i was totally alone. i felt sad about it. I dont have a solid social circle. i dont have anyone to tell about this. And it even made it difficult to just walk out of the door. i dont know how i got here. but today i will do the fucking 5 sets again per day. no fucking time or life wasting.

Day 39, 24 august 2012
Today I went to a bbq party in a green park. I was having a good time. We saw a girl roller skating 100 meters away. I chased up, stopped her and brought her back to our bbq place. I felt good about it. But she would not give her phone number and said she did not remember it. I don’t know if that was true or not. She asked me to give her my number. But I did not and got her full name to look her up from facebook. I felt that she still thought I was a stranger and I have noticed this problem for quite some time but still don’t know how to solve it. It is so much easier to make approach along with PUA friends even no one was pushing me.
I went for night game with another PUA from another town. I don’t remember how many approach I did. We did some hard gaming. We stop girls in the street in a really aggressive way, pointing at her, ‘you! Stop!’ RSD method. Night game was much easier for me this time. There were 3 approaches when the girl was comfortable with me.

One girl I approached was really interested in me probably because I approached her while she was with her girl friend and some other guys in the set. She told me she did not know the guys and they just met. I was holding her body all the time during the conversation. When the conversation was about our jobs, I said ‘let’s stop talking about job and dance’. She said ok. Then we danced a bit. I complemented her lips and was thinking when and how to kiss her (I should have just kissed her). A Russian guy approached her girl friend. My target asked me if I knew him. I said yes because I thought she was referring to my dutch friend. Then she told me that guy was speaking English and he is not dutch. She laughed and went away. I did not get what was happening. Now I realized she thought that I was with the Russian guy and told her that he was dutch. She thought that I was lying and playing some kind of tricks.

Assessment: my comfort zone expanded and I realized as long as the girl is comfortable with me in a club, I can just go for the kiss.

Day 40- 25 August, 2012
I went to day game with the new PUA friends. I like this guy because he can really let me break through my comfort zone and he is kind of nice guy. It is a pity that he does not live in this town. He approached girls in the street by pointing at her and ‘You’. He kept on pushing me to approach every set but I did not like it because I felt pressure. On the other hand, I like the fact that I can expand my comfort zone more easily with him. Still if I do the same thing, ‘Hey You!’, the set did not last long. If I do it in a more polite and complement on her style, it usually last longer.

Later on, another PUA friend joined us and he made just one approach and the conversation looked great. He does not make many approaches or break through comfort zone that much but he is a good conversationist. Next time I will ask him how to get the girl talking as I feel when in set during day game I was the one talking for most of the time. I should get the girl talking about themselves.

Day 41-26 august 2012
I did not do anything today.

Day 42-27 august 2012 and day 43-28 august 2012
I did 4 set each day. There was nothing. There was not even a hooked conversation. In one set, the girl says either you let me go or I take your number. I realized she would not give me her number and just let her go.

I was discussing with my PUA friend and concluded that we had reached to a point where we can make approaches and have a hooked conversation. But the girl probably would flake. We need to step up to go even further when in set.

Day 44-29 august 2012
I made four approaches today. 2 were hooked conversation and one instant date.
2 set. I approached one girl and complemented on the other. We were enjoying the conversation. The other girl was trying to impress me by speaking my language. Then the boyfriend of my target came. I greeted him ‘sorry man, I was approaching your gf because she is just hot.’ They all laughed and he said ‘you can take her thought’ pointing at the other girl. I explained that it would not be respectful to the other girl as she would be treated as the second choice. Then I ejected.

1 set. I complemented her on her style and she was really attracted although she was not talking much. She looked really attracted when she was telling me that her favourite pizza was pepperoni. iI touched her back ‘ok! Let’s go to new York pizza in train station and have some pepporoni’
Her: Nooo
Me: why not?
Her: because I don’t really know you (I heard this many times but don’t know what to do about it)
Her: I have a bf.
Me: his name is Mr. Imaginary?
Her: No, he is…
Me: you are not talkive.
Her: my English is not good
Then I started to speak her language.
Her: Why did you speak English then? (impressed)
We talked a bit more and I hugged her when she told me about her bf and I let her go.

Last set: I approached her and complimented on her style. She liked it and she is a tourist. He asked me for suggestion about dinner. We went for dinner together. We were sitting across the tale so I could not kino. Upon certain point she asked me if I had a gf. I could not try to kiss her throughout the whole date and before she ran to a tram, which made me feel bad. She will be leaving tomorrow morning so I did not bother to ask for phone number. I should have escalated.

Assessment: a PUA friend sends me a youtube video. Todd from RSD national gave a speech about ‘liking and wanting’. The concepts are: everybody wants to sleep with a HB10 but rarely does anyone go for it with 100% commitment. He gave an example about a PUA who makes 12 approaches a day but has not get any kiss during the last two years. If you are in set, you need to push for the best result and do not allow the girl to tell you ‘it was nice meeting you’. You should make her fall in with you or think that you are a jerk. This applies to me as well. I ejected many sets even when I felt chemistry between me and the target. I am liking HB’s but not wanting them because I did not go furthest during the interaction. I will push for the best result from now on.

Day 45-30 august 2012
Today I was lazy, not doing anything.

Day 46-31 august 2012
I made first two approaches very quickly but nothing worked out. Then I fell into the low energy zone again. I approached another two sets. The last girl approached was happy to meet me but she said she was on her way to a date and she was already late for 15 min. I replied that we could have a date too. Her: ehh ehhh…(walking away) I know this sounded desperate but I did not have a choice because she is going to walk away anyway. I left for home then because I felt that my energy and value was at the bottom.

Day 47-1 sep 2012
Today I don’t remember how many approaches I made. I went out with a PUA friend. I proposed to do mouth rape in the street during day game. Both of us got an instant date and I got a k close. The first k attempt was just within 5 min after the approach.
Her: I don’t want to (still smiling)
2nd attempt in the two set after ten min talking and laughing- her: No, hahahaaa (you are pushing too much)

3nd attempt in a single set: her: no, I have a boyfriend (she kissed my cheek)
Instant date: approach, she loved it. She is an 18 year-old tourist girl. She won’t get much money until 2 days later and she is staying in a hostel now. We went for a drink and I ended up paying for her drink and she did not sound lying. The funny thing is that we bumped into my wingman, who was also with her instant date. My wingman proposed to go to a special bar but she said she was running out of money and she could not go. So I brought her to the crossroad where we met and I told her that I will give her some souvenir and stepped up. She said ok. Then we kissed. But the kiss was not passionate makeout. I asked her to go out with me again on monday (I have an important exam on Monday to prepare for and I don’t want to be her cash machine and she told me early that she met a Brazilian guy in her hostel and he offered to take her to dinner and pay the bill.) She said maybe we will see each other around.

I approached another sweet girl in train station later. I could have just kissed her cheek.

Assessment: I should have just taken her to a supermarket to buy some stuff and cook at my home and then… this is the mistake I made. But I went for the k close and got it. I need to go further to ask for the most.

Day 48-2 sep 2012
I made 5 approaches but I did not get anything. My energy was low as well. I approached on the way from centre to train station. My wingman did not make many approaches.

Day 49-3 sep 2012
Something was seriously screwed up with me and this is going to postpone my plan in the coming 4 months and cause me serious financial damage. I totally went down mentally but still have to find a way to limit the damage and keep myself going. I made just one approach with another wingman and then went to a social club. This club focuses on public speech. They have a very structured approach to help club member to speak in front of the public. And I have signed up for a competition in the coming session.

Day 50-4 sep 2012
I made 7 approaches and got one instant date and two numbers. I approached a girl at the train station while she was walking to a bus. I commented on her hair and told her it looked cute in a unique way. She liked it very much. During the conversation she told me that she had a boyfriend. And she knew that I approached random girls in the street but she did not mind at all. After 10 min, I proposed a drink before she was taking the bus. She called her friend who was going to meet her at home and told her to postpone for one hour and ‘I have a new friend now.’

While we were walking to Starbucks inside the station, I put my arm around her shoulder.
Her (looking at me): ‘You are really free to do this. I told you I have a boyfriend!’
Me (with a smile): OK
I kept my arm around her shoulder and walking. She did not object anymore.

We ordered drinks and sat on a bench. The whole date took almost one hour. We just kept on talking and talking. She surprised me with her observation on life and people, given her young age (she is maximal 18 and she knows that I am 30). I received an sms from my wing ‘kiss her!’ In the end, I had my kiss anxiety probably because I was afraid that I could fuck things up as everything had been good so far and I had made it sexual by putting my arm around her. But now I think I should at least kiss her forehead or face. And she told me the conversation was very proposed that we should meet again. So I got her phone number. This is definitely a solid close.

Later on I made another number close in the street but I was not sure if she will reply. But she told me to add my name in the sms so she would know it is me. I am still feeling bad because I believe that I missed an f close with the German girl on last Saturday.

Assessment: I found myself afraid of escalating when the set is going well. And I remember that I should have kissed for a few good sets. I went for mouth raping today again with a girl who would not let me close her. Yes, at least kiss her forehead and face then look at her eyes, then go for the mouth rape. And I should set up a date with that girl for the next week when I was with her.

Day 51-69, 5-23 sep 2012
I did not do many approaches these days as I was busy with moving my house and preparing for a job interview, which could be a very good opportunity. (These are excuses anyway)

A few things.
I met a Latina girl and she moved here from home about 4 month ago. She has a boyfriend in another European country. I had an instant date, eating dinner with her. Before we said goodbye, I kissed her cheek. Her: you are really not shy at all. She said she was looking for a friend here. I understand that life could be very difficult when you are away from your home country alone.

I went out with her twice afterwards. The first time we just got to know each other. We danced and she is now comfortable with me kissing her cheeks. The second time, which was last weekend, I brought her to my friend’s house party. We had a good time but I think we are getting into a friend zone now. I dont really know how to break that through.

Meditation is a good thing. Now when I had some negative emotion or feeling in my brain, I can gradually realize or become aware of it.

I decide not to go out with certain PUA as one of them is negative minded. He is much better than I am but it is a pain in the ass to hang out with him. He likes to AMOG and to make inappropriate jokes on me, probably other PUA too. No wonder he said that he did not have friend.

I read a book and I was a bit intrigued. There are two ways that people can feel secure and certain about themselves. One is getting validation for instance, a nice word from other people, things go as you expected, learn all kinds of PUA skills and lines, or even go to some dance lesson to do better in night games. But following this getting path is not going to give you a life you desire. It does not give you freedom because you always feel that you lack something. On the other hand, if you do things just because you like doing it instead of using it as a tool, you are free from the thought of trying to get. You do not need permission to have fun and excitement. You prove to yourself that you are capable of pushing through the barriers that you face. You will get a mindset that whatever happens to you, you will find a way to deal with it. You are proving that you can have the life you want without having to rely on other people to make it happen. This is very powerful. I need to adopt that mindset by doing things, not for the purpose to get women.

I guaranteed a date with another girl. I met approached her Oct last year and got her number but she flaked. Then I approached her again in train station about one month ago. I did not recognize her until 5 min later, while she did not recognize me at all. A few days later i was going for a job interview and she works on a similar position. So I sent her a fb message asking for help. Her: sorry I did not recognize u. She gave me her new number. And I called her the next day and we talked over the phone for one hour. In the end, Me: now I owe you a drink. Her: you don’t owe me a drink but we can go for one. She is on holiday now and will be back in two weeks.

I had a job interview and this is a very good opportunity to relocate back to Asia. But the process is going really slow. I have to wait for 2 weeks to hear from the interviewer again. I thought I fucked it up. I was really depressed for 5 days and not able to do anything but I just heard that I am still alive in the process and now I feel much better. This is typically having my state based on what happens to me. I have to change that.

Day 70-76, 24-30 sep
On Monday and Tuesday, the weather was too bad. I did not go out at all. I made few approaches this week. But I will have a date early this week with a girl I approached on Thursday. My energy and frame made her smile already before I even finished my opener. I proposed an instant date but she said she had to have dinner at home now.
When I was thinking about meeting for another time,
Her: if you want, I can give you my number and we can meet another time.

We set a date early this week and exchanged the phone number. I would be very surprised if she flakes. Although she has a boyfriend and they are living together, she is excited to meet me.

I am still seeing the latin girl once a week. I am afraid that we are getting into friend zone now. I brought her around and led everything. She has a boyfriend in another European country. But they have some problems now before they are not together and that guy feels a bit insecure about their relationship because he thinks she could use him for her to come to Europe. She is comfortable with kino from me now.

I met another PUA who is around 45 years old. Seeing him making approaches in the street, I was amazed that even at his age people can still be passionate on this. His approach is not yet fine tuned but the sheer number of approaches he made was impressive. He said he was having a high state now because he almost never had a wingman before. There is something i can learn from him. He goes the approach without waiting at all. He does not care whether the girl was crossing the road. I hesitate too long between identifying the target and making the approach

Day 77-90 1-14 Oct
I kept going out with the latin girl. I even went to Brugge with her and her friend, another latin girl. Her friend is cute looking and cute in personality as well. We had a very good time there. We lived in a hostel and the receptionist was trying to steal her. She told me that he said ‘my hotel room is very close here and it is not expensive’ when I was away from her. On Sunday morning the girl and I kept on teasing him in front of many people living in the hostel. When we got into our room, she said to another guy living in the same dorm ‘we don’t know him (she meant me). Let’s go out together later’. I was really pissed off at the moment. I took her out almost every weekend now she said she did not know me. My mind went somewhere else later on. I should have just told her that I did not like what she said. Later we went for a walk. I gave her some shit. I did not want to join her to take a photo and she was surprised. The next day when we were at the love lake, she said ‘xxxx, can I have the pleasure to take a picture with you!’ lollll. Her friend actually helped me on this to make it sexual again as I was worrying that this was going to friend zone. She asked me out of blue how old I was. And I think she was offering to buy me a sport shirt but I misunderstood that she was simply asking me for opinion (her English is not good). I said I would rather die than wear this (it is ugly though). Now I think that I was too asshole. When we were back to home city, she hinted that we could eat in julias restaurant at the train station. But I did not want to eat there. However, I should definitely have said something sexual to her or just kissed her. Now she is in another country visiting her boyfriend. In the last phone call, she told me that she met another latin girl that day and we could go out again when she is back.

Assessment: things are turning back on again because she was discussing about me with her friend. She knows that I have been meeting other girls as well. She was asking questions to check if I could be loyal in a relationship. Here is my sticking point again. Further escalation!

I think I missed a possible Fclose yesterday. I approached a Russian 9 on the square in centrum. We went for a drink. After that, she said out of blue ‘I don’t know how to find my hotel now.’ I don’t remember how I replied but I blew her off. We said goodbye on the square again. After that, I realized how stupid I was. Pufff. In all girls I have met, her face and eyes are definitely among top 3. I don’t know what I was thinking at the moment. Now let me take this as growing pains. Further leading and escalation!

I joined a no porn, masturbation or orgasm for 19 days from Attraction Institute. But I held it for 11 days out of frustration from yesterday. Well, this is still the longest intervals I had in years. So today, l start it over again.