Gentlemen,

Today I experienced something quite interesting in an interaction I had with a gorgeous young lady. I was just in a very good mood, talkative and carefree at work.

I got called out to a ob late this afternoon and proceeded to do my thing. It was only myself and a male retail worker there, so I made some small talk with him for a bit until a girl that worked there, who had just finished lunch, walked in. At first, I didn't see her because I was busy underneath the counter fiddling around with leads etc. When I had finished under there, she walked out and our eyes. I waved, shot a smile and said a friendly "Hi!". She returned that and asked me about my glasses and teased me on it. IOI.

She walked away to serve some customers and I continued with what I was doing. Inevitably, some male customers attempted to hit on her, and I just laughed about it. DHV.

At this point, I was getting a bit flustered because I simply couldn't for the life of my figure out what was going on, so I jumped on the phone to their in-house tech to get some help. In the meantime, I was just making a bit of small talk.

Eventually, we figured it out and I let them know everything was working. She was very excited and was complimenting me (IOI) and making a fuss over it. DHV.

Of course, I hung around because nothing in the technical line of work ever goes 100% to plan and more issues arose. Their tech came in and did his thing, in the meantime I was making small talk with her again.

We had a great chat, found we both shared a love for music and just had a real good vibe going. Kept talking until closing time, when we both parted ways.

What's so interesting is that I was not looking to pickup or game her. I was just merely being social and friendly, whilst trying to get my head around the problem at hand. This enabled me to not think about the interaction, where it was going and how to impress her, therein eliminating nerves and expectation.

I could've easily gone further with this, she was quite clearly attracted:

She held strong eye contact - IOI
She was playing with her hair - IOI
She re-initiated the chat when I walked away - IOI

BAM. Phase-shift after receiving 3 IOI's and a nice easy number close was 100% possible. However due to logistics, it just wouldn't have worked then and there.

Point is, going into an interaction with a woman without trying to pick her up will definitely increase your odds of success. It frees up your mind, get's rid of your nerves and removes unnecessary pressure. You'll see IOI's more clearly and subconsciously and automatically DHV more. You'll seem like the fun, playful and social guy who is just talking because he has something interesting to say, rather than trying to get something from here. It's less creepy and more classy.

Something to think about. Game on, gentlemen.

-Hopeless Romantic.

cool man, outcome dependance comes from a needy place and can hinder your mindset

but not leading for the sake of outcome dependance is just avoiding your own anxieties while remaining in your comfort zone, all this does is placate your ego, so you can say... yeah I'm so great, everything went perfect and I left it as is, she would have slept with me for sure even though I never actually found out, I'm really good at this, it just helps you protect your own ego so you don't have to face any possible dis-approval and can leave an interaction with the warm feeling and mindset that you had the approval and ''she liked me'' rather then leading things to the end to bring thought into reality

you don't need a whole bunch of signs to get a number, you can literally just tell a girl straight off the bat you think she is cute and want her number, this can get you numbers and although with that little amount of investment (1-2 minute interaction) the chances of meeting her after that become less likely, you can still carry that momentum over the phone and convert that 1-2 minute meeting into a day 2 (it has been field tested and certainly can work)

building compliance, more so then IOIs is what will get you compliance, although IOIs are an indication she is interested, you can get a number from a girl that is not interested and have it lead to nothing, you can also get non compliance from a girl that is interested and have it lead to nothing (girl is interested but turns you down for a number), if you don't test the compliance and move things forward, you can not be aware of the compliance for certain

it's cool you had a chat and didn't ''need'' anything, but asking a girl for her number when she is clearly interested is not needy, if you are not needy

saying hey your hot, I want to sleep with you, give me your number

^ this, is only needy, if you are needy

for example, one guy might not be needy, and his assumption is ''girls want to fuck me'' getting this girl's number, and telling her I want to sleep with her, gives her a chance at a win/win situation, this will be awesome, if she doesn't want that, who cares

while another guy might be thinking, omg I need her phone number so I can have sex with her, I need to use this tactic to trick this girl into sex with me, I need to do XYZ so she is tricked and she doesn't no... meee want's it, meee neeeds it, smegul NEEDS IT HSSSS.... HSSSSSSS..., this comes with the assumption that he is not good enough for the girl, and he is taking something from the girl by doing so, so when he takes, it comes from a needy place, rather then an indifferent place of giving

so if in your mind, you don't care, one way or another if she gives you the number, or sleeps with you, and you are just as content with her saying no, as you are with her saying yes = non needy, this is plain indifference at it's core

just having an indifferent attitude projects a mindset of abundance, ''if she blows me out, who cares, there are other girls out there, what ever''


now however, if the mindset is, OMGOMG SHE IS SO HOT, SHE IS SO SPECIAL AND IT'S SO HARD FOR ME TO TALK TO ANOTHER GIRL, I NEED TO HAVE HER GIVE ME A POSITIVE REACTION, what is the right thing to say or do in this situation so I don't fuck up??!!, omg I need to not fuck this up, she has to give me the phone number so I can do this right, this is my big shot, THIS IS SO RARE!!, I need this to work or I won't get another chance

^ this kind of thinking is needy, and projects a mindset of scarcity

as soon as the girl becomes your focus, and you care about if it works out or not, this is when you are slipping into neediness, and when a guy is needy, he will tend to put alot more pressure on himself, exhibit weird incongruent behavior because he is nervous due to the pressure, and he will invest alot more of his emotions into the outcome, rather then the process, then when it doesn't work out for him, it is a much harsher emotional blow, and it will be harder for him to move on, because naturally he is more invested

nothing wrong with leading a situation towards sex, you should be breaking out of your comfort zone and doing so, it's not needy to go for the kill, it's needy to need the kill

GOOD LUCK

Agreed, I myself have pulled numbers in seconds, with no conversation.

Exactly what I was trying to explain, you've put it so much better haha.

I know I should have gone further, but I didn't think it'd be appropriate at the time. There is always time to go back, this time as a customer.
Exactly right. It radiates in your being. Hence if you go in just trying to have a conversation for the sake of being social, that pressure disappears. After time in field, it'll become subconscious that you phase shift and compliance test when the time is right and smoothly change to the correct phase.
I like how you've explained that. I know I am 100% guilty of that and it definitely needs addressing.

This interaction has given me confidence though, which is the main thing. It'll build momentum, and keep the ball rolling.

Cheers for the input!

-Hopeless Romantic