Question about freeze out?



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PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 2:49 pm 
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Hey this is my first post on the forum, but I've been reading it for some time. I thought I'd reach out. I'm 28 live in the states

There is this girl that I met online a long time ago ( about a year) we had made plans to hang out but we both go buy but had added each on fb. So I decided to message her a couple months ago and long story short and some back and forth we decided to meet. Normally it was me doing the initiating but she seemed receptive. We got some dinner and she seemed pretty into me smiling, laughing , some light kino, and kissed her on the cheek. Texted me immediately right away how great time she had. I would initiate a text ever couple days, except one time where she did and we made plans to meet at a show. 2nd date that week went great. She told me during dinner that in her culture (she is european) it takes a little while to progress kissing, sex all that.

Now I know the whole mentality of pua is to kiss close right way, and I know I'm sounding cliche when I say this girl is pretty special cool...but it's true. That and I've been kiss and f-closing on lots of other girls in the last couple months to the point where I can't keep track. Getting to actually know someone a little more seemed ok. I did try to kiss but she said it was too soon and we did hold hands ( haha I feel like I'm back in high school writing this). She texted right away saying she had a good time. I would initiate ever couple days. She told me she had to work everyday this week ( which I know is true she works like 3 jobs goes to school) and she seemed receptive about lunch. Decided to call instead of text and left a short confident vm. She texted me later when she got off work asked me about work and we had a little exchange. I asked her about hanging out again which is the vm I had left. She joked back to my exchange and said she is busy nowadays and was feeling a little sick. I don't her not to stress and contact me when she is free. This was 4 days and and I haven't responded back or has she.

No I do want to get a couple things clear. I'm obviously writing this because I'm analyzing it, and I do appreciate all your advice guys. But...I haven't been stuck in a corner starting at her fb picture all day. I go out talk to other girls had a causal hookup with another girl, posted stuff on my fb naturally and other girls responded. It isn't a case of one-itis because I do talk to other girls, I just would prefer to continue with this one. So my question is what should I do. I don't want to freeze out for so long where she forgets the initial rapport we have. She probably is actually busy, and I am too. I figured I texted too much ( even though it was short messages every couple of days), and maybe she changed her mind was because she was just tired that day after getting out of work at 1130. Do I reinitiate at some point or wait for her? She is the type where in her culture the guy does most of the chasing . I'm pretty good at reading girls so the attraction was there so I'd hate to mess up a good chance just because I ignored her for too long.

Any thoughts advice? Thanks a lot


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 2:56 pm 
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"I told her not to stress and contact me when she's free"
^ouch....
You are letting her be alpha, and A)most women don't like that and B)especially in a boyfriend

As for the topic question, freeze outs are when a girl is acting overly needy towards you and you want her to calm down basically, it's only to be used when the girl Is already VERY attracted to you, never to be used to create attraction
Ignoring a girl that doesn't like you in the hopes she just randomly will just doesn't make sense

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 4:26 pm 
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I get what you are saying, but she does like me. Also, what would have been a better response. Call her out for working this week , demand a schedule of when to meet up? Any advice on what to do now?


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 5:01 pm 
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Hey this is my first post on the forum, but I've been reading it for some time. I thought I'd reach out. I'm 28 live in the states

There is this girl that I met online a long time ago ( about a year) we had made plans to hang out but we both go buy but had added each on fb. So I decided to message her a couple months ago and long story short and some back and forth we decided to meet. Normally it was me doing the initiating but she seemed receptive. We got some dinner and she seemed pretty into me smiling, laughing , some light kino, and kissed her on the cheek. Texted me immediately right away how great time she had. I would initiate a text ever couple days, except one time where she did and we made plans to meet at a show. 2nd date that week went great. She told me during dinner that in her culture (she is european) it takes a little while to progress kissing, sex all that.

Now I know the whole mentality of pua is to kiss close right way, and I know I'm sounding cliche when I say this girl is pretty special cool...but it's true. That and I've been kiss and f-closing on lots of other girls in the last couple months to the point where I can't keep track. Getting to actually know someone a little more seemed ok. I did try to kiss but she said it was too soon and we did hold hands ( haha I feel like I'm back in high school writing this). She texted right away saying she had a good time. I would initiate ever couple days. She told me she had to work everyday this week ( which I know is true she works like 3 jobs goes to school) and she seemed receptive about lunch. Decided to call instead of text and left a short confident vm. She texted me later when she got off work asked me about work and we had a little exchange. I asked her about hanging out again which is the vm I had left. She joked back to my exchange and said she is busy nowadays and was feeling a little sick. I don't her not to stress and contact me when she is free. This was 4 days and and I haven't responded back or has she.

No I do want to get a couple things clear. I'm obviously writing this because I'm analyzing it, and I do appreciate all your advice guys. But...I haven't been stuck in a corner starting at her fb picture all day. I go out talk to other girls had a causal hookup with another girl, posted stuff on my fb naturally and other girls responded. It isn't a case of one-itis because I do talk to other girls, I just would prefer to continue with this one. So my question is what should I do. I don't want to freeze out for so long where she forgets the initial rapport we have. She probably is actually busy, and I am too. I figured I texted too much ( even though it was short messages every couple of days), and maybe she changed her mind was because she was just tired that day after getting out of work at 1130. Do I reinitiate at some point or wait for her? She is the type where in her culture the guy does most of the chasing . I'm pretty good at reading girls so the attraction was there so I'd hate to mess up a good chance just because I ignored her for too long.

Any thoughts advice? Thanks a lot
Generally speaking, her texting you that she had a good time is a very good sign. I have several female friends who'll typically do this when they like the guy and are subtly trying to tell him this - remember females speak through a language of subtly, for the most part. Careful not to examine every single move you've made towards her as if anything it'll only serve to get you more anxious and screw things up quickly. As for k-closing on a first date, there's nothing to say that you should, and anything that says you MUST to secure something is completely wrongheaded. The important thing here is to always come from a sexual frame, rather than an affection-seeking frame - the former ensures that she frames you as a sexual and/or romantic interest, whereas the later exudes neediness. I'd simply continue along with what you're doing, but don't let you pride get in the way and impede your progress. Remember, she's just a girl and there are plenty more out there so when you find yourself fearful of doing something remember that's social conditioning having b rainwashed you into thinking you must always act a certain way in any particular situation. That said, I would wait a few more days (week total) before texting her if you think you went a bit overboard on the texting (did you really go overboard or are you simply looking at your behavior post hoc in a negative light because she hasn't been so responsive lately?).

Texts should be light and fluffy/fun, infused with humor and aimed at re-creating the emotional state of when you 2 hungout (remember something funny that happened to the 2 of you when you were last out and somehow sew it into the conversation) to help bring her back to that state. Lastly, she's a busy girl so consumed with the day-to-day tasks of life she may not have had a hell of a lot of time to think about things with you. Remember, women's moods change from moment to moment, its only a matter of time before you get her in the right moment where she is more receptive to you (that's why always 'ping' a girl a text here and there). You can use texting to your advantage to build attraction, but ultimately your goal with texting is to make plans to get her out again. If you know she's not overly receptive to your phone calls, I do suggest maintaining text contact for now as a woman not taking your phone calls is subconsciously a hard "no" to you, in contrast to her not responding right away to a text (texting requiring far less effort on her part).


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 6:32 pm 
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I don't think you understand, a freeze out is when a girl is begging to meet you, she wants you soooo badly she is ANNOYING you, not just a little fling from a girl you met yesterday and said hi to.
A better response? "Im a nice guy so I'll tell you, there's a party on Tuesday at XX and if your Gunna come you gotta bring chips or something"

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 3:19 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
Hey this is my first post on the forum, but I've been reading it for some time. I thought I'd reach out. I'm 28 live in the states

There is this girl that I met online a long time ago ( about a year) we had made plans to hang out but we both go buy but had added each on fb. So I decided to message her a couple months ago and long story short and some back and forth we decided to meet. Normally it was me doing the initiating but she seemed receptive. We got some dinner and she seemed pretty into me smiling, laughing , some light kino, and kissed her on the cheek. Texted me immediately right away how great time she had. I would initiate a text ever couple days, except one time where she did and we made plans to meet at a show. 2nd date that week went great. She told me during dinner that in her culture (she is european) it takes a little while to progress kissing, sex all that.

Now I know the whole mentality of pua is to kiss close right way, and I know I'm sounding cliche when I say this girl is pretty special cool...but it's true. That and I've been kiss and f-closing on lots of other girls in the last couple months to the point where I can't keep track. Getting to actually know someone a little more seemed ok. I did try to kiss but she said it was too soon and we did hold hands ( haha I feel like I'm back in high school writing this). She texted right away saying she had a good time. I would initiate ever couple days. She told me she had to work everyday this week ( which I know is true she works like 3 jobs goes to school) and she seemed receptive about lunch. Decided to call instead of text and left a short confident vm. She texted me later when she got off work asked me about work and we had a little exchange. I asked her about hanging out again which is the vm I had left. She joked back to my exchange and said she is busy nowadays and was feeling a little sick. I don't her not to stress and contact me when she is free. This was 4 days and and I haven't responded back or has she.

No I do want to get a couple things clear. I'm obviously writing this because I'm analyzing it, and I do appreciate all your advice guys. But...I haven't been stuck in a corner starting at her fb picture all day. I go out talk to other girls had a causal hookup with another girl, posted stuff on my fb naturally and other girls responded. It isn't a case of one-itis because I do talk to other girls, I just would prefer to continue with this one. So my question is what should I do. I don't want to freeze out for so long where she forgets the initial rapport we have. She probably is actually busy, and I am too. I figured I texted too much ( even though it was short messages every couple of days), and maybe she changed her mind was because she was just tired that day after getting out of work at 1130. Do I reinitiate at some point or wait for her? She is the type where in her culture the guy does most of the chasing . I'm pretty good at reading girls so the attraction was there so I'd hate to mess up a good chance just because I ignored her for too long.

Any thoughts advice? Thanks a lot
Generally speaking, her texting you that she had a good time is a very good sign. I have several female friends who'll typically do this when they like the guy and are subtly trying to tell him this - remember females speak through a language of subtly, for the most part. Careful not to examine every single move you've made towards her as if anything it'll only serve to get you more anxious and screw things up quickly. As for k-closing on a first date, there's nothing to say that you should, and anything that says you MUST to secure something is completely wrongheaded. The important thing here is to always come from a sexual frame, rather than an affection-seeking frame - the former ensures that she frames you as a sexual and/or romantic interest, whereas the later exudes neediness. I'd simply continue along with what you're doing, but don't let you pride get in the way and impede your progress. Remember, she's just a girl and there are plenty more out there so when you find yourself fearful of doing something remember that's social conditioning having b rainwashed you into thinking you must always act a certain way in any particular situation. That said, I would wait a few more days (week total) before texting her if you think you went a bit overboard on the texting (did you really go overboard or are you simply looking at your behavior post hoc in a negative light because she hasn't been so responsive lately?).

Texts should be light and fluffy/fun, infused with humor and aimed at re-creating the emotional state of when you 2 hungout (remember something funny that happened to the 2 of you when you were last out and somehow sew it into the conversation) to help bring her back to that state. Lastly, she's a busy girl so consumed with the day-to-day tasks of life she may not have had a hell of a lot of time to think about things with you. Remember, women's moods change from moment to moment, its only a matter of time before you get her in the right moment where she is more receptive to you (that's why always 'ping' a girl a text here and there). You can use texting to your advantage to build attraction, but ultimately your goal with texting is to make plans to get her out again. If you know she's not overly receptive to your phone calls, I do suggest maintaining text contact for now as a woman not taking your phone calls is subconsciously a hard "no" to you, in contrast to her not responding right away to a text (texting requiring far less effort on her part).

Thanks for the advice. So do you recommend me waiting for her? I know lots of people are like omg don't bug her again but then again like you said what you are supposed to do is always social conditioning. She obviously knows that I haven't backed off a little but I think today ends her week long binge of work. Would you recommend me wait a couple more days or try her


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 9:15 am 
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I'm with charblad on this one,

you're only listening to the advice you want to hear, a freeze out will only condition a girl who is invested in you, not for a girl who is un-invested

and it's a girls actions and compliance you pay attention to, not her words

for example, when a girl says your cute and I want to meet up with you on friday for a date, then does not show up on friday for a date or answer your calls, it is her actions you pay attention to here, not her words

and it is the same thing the other way around, say you are texting some girl and tell her you're not wearing any pants, and she says EWWWWW WTF!!, then you continue teasing her and taking it further to creep her out for fun until she stops responding, the next day she texts you again and initiates and you start creeping on her again for fun, just ruthlessly flirting while she maintains the frame that she isn't into it but continues to keep initiating text with you and when you see her in person she runs up and jumps you with a hug and a kiss and tells you how much she hates getting those creepy texts, chances are she doesn't hate it all as much as she says

pay attention to the actions, she moves forward, you move her more foward, she takes a step back, you take two steps back, it's what she actually responds to, rather then what she says she responds to, pay attention

this girl seems like a waste of time and you are getting needy for her, you should have been more forth comming on your date, when she says blah blah blah, i don't usually kiss/fuck early, this is just ASD, virtually all girls say this kind of thing when they are thinking about it, it's an absolute terrible lie, it's the same as ''we are not having sex'' as she comes over to your house alone after you have been making out all night, it's her actions and behavior you guage her on, not her words

from my point of view, your dates didn't go good enough and she didn't get laid, now she is turned off

just improve your game and meet other girls, give yourself time to ween yourself off of the drug that is her pussy, when your head is clear and you don't feel addicted to the idea of getting her, come back at this without expecting or wanting anything from her, this shit has got to be win/win for the both of you, instead of a win for you and that is all that matters

GOOD LUCK


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 12:29 am 
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Listen I agree with you, and you are probably right about the kissing thing though some cultures are different. I'm not needy for her and like I said going out with lots of other girls but this one seemed worth it. I believe she is probably pretty busy and was curious how to proceed instead of the usual just cut her off


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 3:18 am 
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Tony lemme break your "selective reading barrier" for you
Knock knock
(you say who's there)
Owl's
(you say owls hoo?)
Yes they do! Very good!
XD funny huh?
Now listen, I'm telling you how to go after this girl, and your reading everyone else's reply and saying "but I still want her what do I do?"
Read my last post, the very last line is to get her to go out with you, not to leave her, go tell her that line now
Best of luck

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