man.. "cause you touch yourself at night" is a guy-to-guy very offensive joke.. last reply from you seems needy.. shoulda play it cool and just leave it as that.. you claimed to have built enough attraction but the vibe doesn't seem to be there.. hop on.. good luck buddy

*facepalm*
this is incongruent for you man,

you have to put things in your own words, and be certain of your actions and where you want to lead things

if you just take someones words it wont do shit for you, it does not suit your frame

it's like me trying to be super serious all of a sudden with some girl I've known for a year and done nothing but joke around with, it doesn't line up with who she knows me as, if you are a serious kind of guy, she may mistake my rude sense of humour for an actual insult, rather then just being aware that it is congruent for me so she can just brush it off as ''ohhh hes just like that lol''

and now that you have used words that don't suit you, you have no idea where to lead this

the question is not ''what is the right thing to say?'' the question is ''what do I want?''

as in what do you want to do?, what is your descision personally, comming from you, not some random guy on a pua forum, not some e-book, but your own descision from a place where you know where you want to go with this, you have to take responsibility and lead, YOU HAVE TO, YOU FUCKING HAVE TO, I can't lead you into leading, and she won't lead you, shes a girl, she'll lead you out of her life or into the friend zone if you put the responsibility on her

not knowing, or being unsure of yourself, or un-confident, how ever you want to word it, is a one way ticket to fail town, you gotta figure out what ''YOU'' want to do, and do it, you will learn from trying for yourself, not from someone else doing it for you, there is no ''right thing to say'' I can walk up and say some shit to a girl that I think is fucking brilliant, get rejected in two shakes of a leg, then walk up to girl beside her, say the same shit, and end up slamming her
this ^ is not comming from you
this ^ is also not comming from you

you are just stealing words from these posts in the hopes it ''works'' for you, and some magical thing said has her run over to you and she hops on your dick

it doesn't work like that, she already has a perseption of who you are and what you are like, you must use words that are in aligment with who you are, not words that are in alignment with who someone else is

we have different purposes for saying and doing the things we do, as well as different outlooks on life, if it was me answering her, and I used ''because you touch yourself at night'' it would not end in "you seem like fun to hang out with, but you're never around. since I barely know you, it's weird for me to have you on facebook - I keep only real friends on facebook." this totally breaks the frame you just set with that line, you are not me, don't use my words, they don't fit you

when that second example was used, it was used to show you, how you could re-frame from your current frame, not say some random weird shit that doesn't suit you, then follow up with a re-frame that has nothing to do with the frame you just introduced

I would have said that, then re-added her, and continued with the retardation, pushing and pulling, positive and negative, not trying to get anything at all from her

lets first of all consider her frame here (the meanings behind what is being said, aka sub-communication)

"Why did you delete me?"
(frame, ''im not sure why you have removed me, define your intent'')

how ever your original frame, fell along the lines of un-confident and needy, since it starts along the lines of you removing her (punishing), because you can't get something you want from her (a date), because you assume she doesn't like you even though she never even fully committed to meeting you anyways, so that is where the frame would have been left off to continue from, and there was an example of how a re-frame works

Me: "do you even consider me as friend?"
(frame, ''im not sure you like me, define your intent'')

^ makes you look needy to hold your frame, but with a justification for your actions

Me: "I see, well you seem cool, and would probably be fun to hang out with. However you're never able to make it out and I barely know you. Why should we be facebook buddies if that's how it is?''
(frame, ''I like you, you are important to me, but you treat me as unimportant, are you going to invest to get my compliance?'' *assuming her intent is to be your friend*)

^makes you start to look less needy (while still somewhat needy), just slightly unconfident still of her intentions and how strong her interest is, you are testing the waters and shifting the frame to get a good idea if it is worth it for you to put an effort into this (screening)

from that point, you could keep re-framing until you are in a better position if she screens well

now lets review the other frame you introduced

''because you touch yourself at night"
(frame, I don't have to answer to you, you hold no power over me)

^ now the thread is rude, it is a push, it is negative, and it shows absolute indifference in your behavior

so your re-frame to this is

Me: "you seem like fun to hang out with, but you're never around. since I barely know you, it's weird for me to have you on facebook - I keep only real friends on facebook."

now the frame behind this response is
(frame, ''I like you, you are important to me, but I need more attention, you're not really my friend because you don't give me that)

^ this is a complete contradiction to the first frame introduced, TOTALLY INCONGRUENT to the frame, and the way you re-worded it seems even more needy then my original wording

to hold the frame from ''because you touch yourself at night'' and re-frame is to re-add her as a friend, to comfort her to remove the tension if she is sensative to the rough comment and she can tell you are joking (it implies you didn't think much of deleteing her, but you also don't think much of re-adding her, fairly indifferent behavior)

if you are not sure, what you are doing, don't do it, make your own choices and be sure of them and where you are going with them, or it will always result in fail, go out and field test things before you can trust yourself and be cool with failing until you have your own routine and can be yourself and do things in your own way

don't look for magical pills to solve your problems, solve them yourself and learn by doing, it's cool to get ideas from people, but don't be surpised if doing incongruent shit that you are unsure of, backfires on you, stay congruent with who YOU are, not who someone else is, and keep trying to improve yourself

GOOD LUCK

I don't know what I want to say to her. I think I subconsciously don't believe I can get anything with this girl (at least not through facebook after this drama), which is the reason I'm going to move on.

Thanks for the story with the frames, I get it now.

Anyway, to give you guys an update; this is what happened afterwards:

She: "i couldnt go out on friday, we visited a friend. oh well.. it feels stupid to excuse myself for anything, but I'd love to go out with you."

I'm not going to respond to her. I think the best chances I have at this point is to accidentaly meet her outside and take it from there. Thats what I think I want to do and that's what I'll do.