| I work with her in retail. She is young. Not sure of her exact age, but i'm thinking she's 18. I'm 28. She is super shy, but very cute. Because of her reserved nature, it's very hard for me to interact with her. Whenever I talk to her, she always smiles, but it seems to me like a nervous smile. When she first started, I joked with her a little bit and then gave her a long ridiculous equation to solve that made absolutely no sense. It had drawings of waterfalls and smiley faces in it. She just smiled at me. A few days later, I saw her slaving away on a computer in the office looking bored to tears, so I came in, sat down next to her and played the 3 coin game with her. Again, she just smiled. It'd been about a week since i'd seen her since she works in a different department and I saw her again yesterday. I asked her if she had anything crazy planned for the weekend, she just smiled her usual nervous smile, said no and wandered off.
I finally said, to hell with this, i'm going to her department and trying a different approach. Being real with her. So, I did. I approached her down an aisle where we could be alone, kind of fluff talked about the products in her department for a minute and then playfully asked if she was shy, even though it's obvious she is. This is how our conversation went:
Me: Are you shy?
Her: Yes, I am.
Me: I knew it! I know how it feels to be shy. I used to be. I hated it. Whenever I was around people, I never knew what to say and I felt like all my jokes were stupid. Is that how you feel?
Her: Sometimes, yeah.
Me: Yeah, it's hard feeling that way, but I came over here because i'm intrigued by you. You seem like a very sweet and kind person, which is rare these days and I think that's really cool.
Her: Yeah, but you get hurt alot...
When she said this, her voice was soft and weak, as if thinking about the pains of her past were crushing her.
Me: You've been hurt a lot?
Her: Yeah, I have...
Me: I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I understand how you feel. I have been hurt too. It's harder for people like us to go through these things, because we have a wall up all the time and hardly let anyone in. When we do, it is a priviledge not to be abused, so when someone does take advantage of it, it hurts much more for us than most people.
Her: Yeah. It does...
I thought it was good to relate to her on this level to show that I understand the delicate nature of a shy person, which I do. Everything I told her was the truth. I actually used to be really shy.
After this, I told her i'm really curious about her and got her to open up about her hobbies. She told me she's been playing guitar for two years, told me about a couple of Christian bands she's really into and she even teased me a little bit. We were standing there, pointlessly moving stuff on the shelves as we talked, kind of like two nervous kids who had crushes on each other and she made fun of me for it. It surprised me, actually.
Anyway, it got a little busy, she had to leave, so I just looked around her department for a little bit, joked around with the other employees there and when I saw her free again, I asked if she wanted to exchange numbers and text. She smiled that usual nervous smile and said with uncertainty, "I guessss..." She didn't seem like she knew what to do and this is where I surprised myself. I didn't get it from her! I guess because I was shy once and I had sympathy for her. I actually asked if she was really ready to give it to me. She told me she wanted to get to know me a little better first and I told her I understand. I had to leave, so I said bye and mentioned maybe we could get lunch one day. She just smiled, said okay, and went back to work. Like usual, I couldn't read her expressions.
Very confused. How do you all think I should approach this?
|