Hi guys, new to the forums.

I've known this girl for about 1-2 years now through Facebook, through a mutual friend. We have a 3.5 year age gap, I'm older than her. But it's been the last few months that I've started really getting to know her after I found out that she's come out of a long relationship.

So I met her a few months ago for a general catch-up via drinks, and we got on well, our conversations always flow and hardly have any awkward pauses. She spoke about being single and being on Plenty of Fish like me, and mentioned about a couple of dates she went on, which were okay. And we asked each other questions about relationships, similar interests, etc. Since then, we've properly met 4 more times, mainly to the cinema, and the more I see her, the more I've fallen in love for her. She has said a few times that she enjoys being single and isn't most ready for a relationship, but has mentioned attributes of a guy who she'd like to go out with, which some of these belong to me. Mainly personality-based. She's also said certain things during our conversations like for example, 'I think I'd get on well with your mum' when I mentioned that my mum likes a certain film that the girl likes, or when she mentioned that 'I don't think age matters with us', just randomly. I may be reading wrong signs though.

Its apparent that she feels quite comfortable with you, which on the one hand is a good thing, albeit a start, but by keeping things comfortable too long you risk falling into the dreaded 'friends zone'. Remember the last time you felt tension while hanging around a girl? The tension is what you want, it's a key ingredient to seduction. What you have here is a relatively tension-less relationship, platonic at best. I get the sense you're afraid to make any overt moves for fear of scaring her off/weirding her out. Now, it's not impossible for relationships to come out of friendships, after all some women insist on 'friends first' so she can safely screen a guy before committing to anything. On some level there is a sort of innocence to the relationship, and that's why I'm suggesting you don't do anything crazy right away as you'll come across as awkward, or worse yet schizophrenic. But, as a general rule, if you linger in the friendzone too long, she'll likely frame the relationship as such.

Last week, I did have an image of just me on Facebook tagged by a friend which this girl actually 'liked' on there, which prompted my friend to tell me that I should make my move on her. I wanted to meet her for drinks so that I could either tell her how I felt about her, or make that move as in give her a kiss on the cheek to show my intentions. But last minute, she sent me a text asking if her best friend (a girl) could come along. Being the gentleman I am, I said that's fine. It was an okay night but would've preferred to be with her alone, and because of her friend being there I couldn't make my move like I planned.

Her bringing her friend along was a perfect opportunity to demonstrate value. For example, by engaging the friend, making her laugh, being entertaining, you could have demonstrated a number of highly attractive traits to your target while at the same time creating little jealousy spikes.

Moreover, its better not to declare your feelings to a girl, particularly so early in the game despite you having known her too long. Rather use the language of insinuation as it is far easier to seduce by dropping hints, framing the relationship in a more sexual manner, offering her a hint of something allowing her mind to connect the dots and make sense of what you're trying to say (this also keeps her a bit off balance) rather than making grandiose gestures or spelling things out (which often kills seduction). For example, why not engage in light touching as she talks to you, holding eye contact, playfully engaging her as you walk for ice cream on the board walk by tapping her on the shoulder or a light kick to the backside.

She said to me that she wanted me to get to know her friends, but was either thinking she was telling the truth, or she knew something was up and planned what I've heard is called 'cock-block'. By the way, the only physical contact we've ever had was on that night when she rang her arm around mine for about a minute when we walked somewhere, that's it.

Be a bit delusional, it doesnt matter if its reality or not. If you believe it's real, and others too will likely begin to believe it too. Hey, she wants you to meet her friends because she likes you. It's the truth, why read anymore into it. You do need to be physical with her, at least begin by taking her arm, or take her to a nearby park grab her hand run towards the swings. I wouldn't go straight for her hand in this situation because it will seem way out of character as she's obviously not used to you taking the initiative in being physical, instead kind of let things happen organically; create the illusion that things just unfolded naturally. You do need to engage in some physical touch however, the sooner the better.

Now something about our friendship is that I've been the one that's always started the text and Facebook conversations, and more lately when we talk on these formats, we talk for a bit and then she drifts off. Either getting me thinking she's playing hard to get, or some things I say she's not finding interesting. But in person, she's a really kind, down-to-earth girl who I have no troubles having a conversation with, and in the looks department, I'd say she's a 7-9 to you guys, but a 10 for me. She attracts a tiny bit of attention from boys on Facebook, but I'd say about 5-6 only, giving her the odd likes and comments. I really want this girl more than anything and I am not willing to give up my pursuit for her, so was really wondering what my next move should be. I want to meet her again but yet again, I don't want to come across as desperate or annoying.

Bottom line you need to get her out more. You've got comfort, but you need to build attraction. You can do this most efficiently by spending more time with her. I'd also move over to phone texting and conversations rather than fb which can be quite impersonal at times. Your objective before messaging should include a plan on getting her out, and where to take her. This is how you'll approach her rather than lollygagging in idle conversation online having her only to bore and nod off. Offer her something exciting tell her you've found some really cool exciting new place you want to take her to, give her a reason to look forward to your interactions. When you do happen to be talking to her and sense the conversation is at a high point, don't be afraid to end it there leaving a lingering positive impression or 'after-image' of the interaction rather than allowing things to wind down to a low point. Ending on a high note leaves such a powerful imprint on a person, its a residual good feeling they'll bask in and before long they'll find themselves increasingly drawn to you because of it. Be a bit mysterious, be cryptic at times, give her something to look forward to at the end of the week in much the same way a child is filled with anticipation, wonderment and excitement at the prospect of getting a present or promise of being taken away on some sort of adventure...appeal to HER inner child and the rest will take care of itself.


Lastly, and perhaps most importantly of all, don't be so readily accessible to her. In fact, I suggest falling off the map for a bit, not following your typical patterns iwth her. This will not only leave her wondering and pique her curiosity trying to figure out what it is that you're doing, but also helps create the frame that you have more pressing matters, other things going on in your life outside of her. Remember, always come from a frame of ABUNDANCE (e.g., that you have other women) rather than SCARCITY (e.g., that she's the only one on your radar).

Thank you for reading.

She has you in what we call "friendzone." She sees you as a friend and not as someone she'd have sex with. She thinks you're a good guy though which is why she was trying to introduce her friend, but you didn't catch that.

take the newbie challenge

telling a newbie what to do, like this: "if that piece is too hot when you begin, you will find that you need to turn your amperage down and that in turn will alter your voltage and that's not good. You can adjust your gas values to compensate for the lowered amperage but that will only input more heat to your piece and that is where this problem started. So just wait for it to cool down then start."

He wouldn't have a fucking clue what I was talking about. Until he wraps his head around 1000 different things, he just needs to be patient.

if that piece is too hot when you begin, you will find that you need to turn your amperage down

I will end up nothing finding anyone.

Day game may be a possibility but I have completely no idea about it. I'm not exactly the most confident person in the world. Would love to go to clubs, but it's difficult to find any friends to come out.