| Lots of girls don't know what they want. Some of them are absolutely manipulative about it. But most of them don't realize they're doing it.
Imagine two conflicting impulses.
"I suck as a human being, but I feel good about myself when a guy gives me attention."
vs.
"I suck as a human being, so any guy who would give me attention must be a complete loser."
The bad news it's an impossible situation. Whether the guy gives her attention or not, she feels shitty. The good news is it's HER impossible situation, not yours. If you ask what's best for you, you realize it's better to not give her attention so you aren't a complete loser in her eyes.
Literally the worst thing you can do is lavish her with attention and remove all doubt. "I am available at any time any place, you name it. It's okay if you cancel because I'm always available." You are now a loser.
Scarcely better is "I am NOT available at any time and any place, and I DEMAND that you make time for me." "I don't like girls who play games. Either you are interested in me or you're not." You're still a loser who needs her time more than she needs yours.
Okay, you say. If you don't give her attention, how do you get the girl?
Well, besides the fact that there are lots of perfectly well adjusted girls out there, and that a guy with a lot of self respect would probably spend his time where his time is appreciated... Those same self-respecting guys are also able to give out a LITTLE bit of attention to EVERYONE without it becoming a huge emotional investment.
Have you ever thought about texting her while you pursue other girls? (Or if there are no other girls, at least pretending there are other girls?) "Hey what's up? ... Haha that's hilarious! ... Nah, I'm busy this week but have a great weekend!"
Two things will happen. Either they'll cool off completely, which is fine because you're pursuing other girls. OR, she'll have 5 conversations where she WANTS you to ask her out, and you DON'T, which means she spends all her time between those conversations wondering and wanting. SHE is the one who makes the emotional investment, not you.
For good measure, one good way to deal with flakes is to avoid big planned dates. Big planned dates allow them to get nervous, or get bored (because they don't want to go out, they just want to be asked out). No friday night dinner and a movie. Try the Wednesday afternoon "yo, I'm in the neighborhood doing some shopping, what are you up to?" If she's free in the moment, there's no pressure of a huge date, and no excuses either. And if she's not free, you haven't offered to drive across town on a friday night, so you haven't really invested anything. You were already in the neighborhood doing something.
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